Chapter 40

It was the morning of November 3rd and Sofia was driving home from work. She was tired from the night shift, from the secret visit she payed Max and from the stupid guy that yelled at her. But she was listening to the radio, she was listening to Robin.

And Robin’s voice made her forget about the shitty shift and the shitty feelings she had. And she didn’t want her to stop talking, or else she’d be alone with music and her own thoughts, because practically nothing can shut them up.

But Robin did protect Sofia from her bad thoughts.

The girl didn’t change clothes, she didn’t even remove her makeup: she went straight to bed, straight to sleep, straight to dreamland.

Sleeping had been easier. With its ups and downs, but overall easier. And she really did love to sleep.

But it came to an end around midday. The phone rang once, twice and by the third time Sofia picked up.

“What?” she said when she picked up the phone, tired, eyes shut.

“You were sleeping…” Robin stated, all of the commotion having made her forget that Sofia had worked at night. 

“No shit sherlock” Sofia said, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m sorry, babe” Robin said, suddenly speaking quietly, though 2 of the 3 people in the room knew about her and Sofia. “We just learned that there’s going to be a crawl tonight”.

Sofia sighed, not even the nickname Robin called her by could make her feel glad about a crawl.

“I’ll be there in one hour then” Sofia said, yawning at the same time.

“One hour?” Robin repeated, because if they had to wait an hour than Nancy would start to get all fussy.

“I can lie and say half an hour” Sofia said, sitting up in bed.

“Atta girl. I’ll tell Steve to get you a coffee” Robin said, smiling. Sofia could hear her smile, so it made her smile too.

“You’re an angel” Sofia said, “Bye bye”.

“Bye” Robin said back, hanging up the phone.

And so Sofia showered. With her wet hair in a towel and dressed in a robe, she opened the window on her bedroom and lit up a joint. 

She got lost in time. 

When she realized, 40 minutes had passed. So, she got dressed in a dark floral midi dress, with her denim jacket and black high socks pared with her dr martens.

Her hair was still slightly wet when she entered the car and played Madonna. She finished a joint lost in the backseat on her way there – it was just routine by now.

Robin was outside, waiting for Sofia, when the girl arrived.

She opened the car door for her, which made Sofia smile. “You look gorgeous” said Robin as she watched her girlfriend get out of the car. Her insides flipped over the compliment.

When they hugged, Robin’s smile faded a little bit. She smelled like perfume, shampoo and weed. A combo she doesn’t want to get used to.

“At what time is it?” Sofia asked, letting go of the hug.

“Six” Robin replied, her hand lowering down Sofia’s back, a steady hand guiding her through the Squawk.

As they were walking, the short haired girl bent down sightly to whisper in Sofia’s ear “You won’t believe what I saw today”. It sent shivers down her spine and god how she wished she could do what she was thinking of.

“What?” Sofia whispered back, their faces really close.

“Murray gave Jonathan a tape and said he’d find it engaging…” Robin explained in a whisper.

“Okay, so…?” Sofia asked, confused, her brain not functioning properly. 

“Engaging?” Robin repeated, trying to get her girlfriend to understand.

Sofia stopped, a shocked look in her face. “You don’t think…” she whispered, her hand covering her mouth.

“For sure. I mean, do I think she’ll say yes? I don’t know. But I hope I’m wrong and it works out because in the middle of all this a wedding sounds pretty nice. We’d get to relax and enjoy life a little” Robin rambled, like she does, as Sofia likes.

“Oh, what I’d do to see you in a suit” Sofia said, really into the conversation, as they walked down the stairs to the basement.

“You’d want to take it off me right away” Robin said, squeezing Sofia’s waist, to which she chuckled.

And that’s when they reached the basement, and when she found Steve, Nancy and Jonathan all in silence. Did they hear that?

“Hi guys” Sofia said, her smile trying to hide her embarrassment.

“You took your time” Steve said, as Nancy turned the projector on, handing her the coffee.

“Some people work nights, Steve” Sofia said, sarcastically, and before Steve could bicker any more, Nancy started explaining the plan.

“All right. So, assuming Murray’s intel is correct, the supply convoy is set to reach Hawkins at 10:00 sharp. Meaning I want Hopper in the tunnels and en route to MAC-Z no later than 9:00. Lucas, we’ll take our usual observation post. Barring unusual traffic, I expect the convoy to reach MAC-Z at 10:15. Once the burn starts and there’s sufficient cover, we’ll signal Hopper, who’ll make his move. And now the crawl begins. Hop is now in the Upside Down, traveling at what I hope to be a gentle 30 miles an hour, which will allow Sofia, Dustin and Steve to follow along in the Rightside Up” Nancy explained.

And she kept talking, Sofia zoned out for a little bit – it was always the same thing. “So, all in all, signs point to another successful crawl” Nancy finished talking, turning the lights back on.

Jonathan cleared his throat, which Sofia wanted to do also. She was sitting in the back of the room, and Robin was looking too good sitting like that.

“Is there a problem?” Nancy asked, everyone turned to her direction.

“Um… No. No, I mean, I think it’s good” Jonathan said, the words caught up in his throat.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s good. It’s really good. It’s just, um…” Steve said, trying to find the words.

“Zone G1 is not that exciting or Vecna-y. What does it have? A Circuit City, a couple of houses, and a Big Buy?” Robin said, the one to find courage first.

“What are the chances Vecna’s shopping for Lucky Charms?” Sofia joked, though it wasn’t even the least funny to her, but making jokes was better than to deal with it.

“Unless… he’s already dead. Again, your plan is great. It’s just… This is crawl what? Are we in the 30s now? And not a single baddie in sight? El can’t find him in her bath, and Will hasn’t had his goosies since the shake ‘n’ quake. And last we saw Vecna, he was roasting like a turkey and pumped full of lead. That was before he fell three stories. So you ever think we’re scouring a battlefield that we already, like, won?” Steve said, but Sofia didn’t agree.

She knew. Intrinsic knowledge. 

“Have you forgotten what he showed them? Hawkins on fire. Karen, Holly, everyone dead” Jonathan explained, his arm moving in the direction of the two girls in the back of the room.

“Yeah, man. He also changed Sofy’s memories and used it against her. That’s what he does. He gets in your head and tries to scare you” Steve explained, and he was right.

Sofia put her head down, trying not to show her sorrow. What Vecna showed her was brutal and she thinks about it everyday – no need for Steve to mention it.

“He did a good job because I am scared. And you should be scared too. Because if he’s still out there, he’s planning to end our world, so we don’t stop looking. Even if it takes 100 more crawls, 1,000” Nancy said, sternly.

For the rest of the day, Sofia stayed in the Squawk, trying to come up with ideas for her admission letter for the university of Oregon. She wanted to apply as early as possible, and why not write when inspired?

So everyone had left, and Robin was alone finishing the shift with Sofia by her side. 

Already tired of hours of writing, Sofia got up and grabbed a vinyl. Don’t You Forget About Me. Robin smiled and nodded, preparing to play it. The last song of the day.

And so she put the vinyl on the player, and the song started. Sofia put her arms around Robin’s neck, who was sat and with her back against her, and felt the short haired girl melt against her body.

Sofia bent slightly to kiss Robin’s neck, who just threw her head back. Trying to keep silent, her breath started speeding up, which made Sofia smile and let go.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Robin said, as she spun on her chair, her voice so steady, her eyes hungry for more. In a bold move, she pulled Sofia by the end of her dress onto her lap.

On her lap, as they kissed, Sofia moved her legs to each side, pulling closer to Robin, so their torsos were touching. The short haired girl moved her hands from the hem of the dress up Sofia’s upper thigh, resting under the dress.

The song was already over, and the vinyl noise hummed under the quiet moans and kisses. It tasted so good, they didn’t feel time moving. 

All of a sudden, they heard something hit metal. They immediately let go and looked in the direction of the sound, while Sofia got up from Robin’s lap and rushed to the exit.

The two found Will by the door. “Hey, um… S-Steve told me to come get you, we’re all outside already” he said, blushing hard, not even looking at the two.

Shit. 

“Okay” Sofia said, watching him walk away nervously.

“You think he saw us?” Robin asked, the door closing.

“Definitely” Sofia responded, nervously, grabbing their jackets to leave.

Robin quickly brushed Sofia’s hair in place, so it didn’t look all messy. They smiled foolishly while that happened, knowing their pumped lips would give it away to those that’d notice.

Outside, the group was talking about Dustin.

“D’you know where Dustin is?” Nancy asked Sofia, the moment she joined the group. She quickly looked around and realized everyone was already there.

“I haven’t seen him today. Why?” Sofia asked back, completely oblivious of the time.

“It’s almost six, he’s late” Nancy replied, a stressed look on her face.

Sofia knew how seriously Dustin was about the crawls, so her heart sank the moment she considered something could’ve happened.

“Let me call home” Sofia said, before rushing back inside.

Nothing. Not even from school. Okay, she’s nervous now.

She walked back to the group. It was chillier outside. Her dress moved along with the wind.

“Anything?” Mike asked, as she walked up to the group.

“No” she replied, but something was different about Mike’s usual emotionless look. “Did something happen?”

Mike looked at Will and Lucas before replying “Andy ripped his Hellfire shirt today… He wasn’t in a good mood”.

Sofia looked pissed. “God, I’m going to kill that kid” she sighed, hands on her forehead.

“You almost did” Robin added, trying to lighten up her mood.

“What?” Lucas asked, confused, as everyone else was.

“She ran over them a while ago” Robin explained, voice calm like it was something normal.

“You did what?” Steve asked, in surprise, not aware of that.

“Clearly I didn’t do a very good job” Sofia said, trying to think. To have a single cohesive thought. Where could Dustin be. Could he just be late. Is he okay. Is he crying in some corner, is he dead in a ditch. Did he play with fire too much.

The group stayed quiet for a second, all sharing looks, mostly pleased and surprised.

“Let’s go start, we can’t wait” Nancy commended, and everyone just followed.

Is he okay. Where could he be. Sofia scoffed quietly at Nancy’s order and stayed in the same spot.

The group were reaching the door when Robin looked back and saw Sofia rocking back and forth in place, biting her nails.

“C’mon Sof” Robin said, walking towards her girlfriend.

“I need to find Dusty” Sofia said, lost in a train of thoughts. “I’m trying to think of where he could be”.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe he was in the library or something and lost track of time” Robin said, trying to ease Sofia’s mind, which is nothing but easy.

“No, he doesn’t do that, you know it. No, I have to go” Sofia said, but as she tried to walk away, Robin grabbed her softly by the wrist.

“Wait, go where?” Robin asked, her voice soft too.

“I don’t know, I just… I don’t like not knowing where he is” Sofia responded, her voice filled with anxiety. “Everyone is just so cool about it but I’m not. He’s not been himself for a while, I don’t know why everyone cares more about the stupid crawl than him”.

“They care about him, you know that… And if you leave, who’s going to help Steve?” Robin said, but it didn’t help. Sofia scoffed and let go of Robin’s grip.

“Is that what you care about?” Sofia said, walking away, a look of disappointment in her face.

“You know that’s not what I meant” Robin said, slightly more loud, as the gap between her and her girlfriend only widened.

Sofia sighed loudly, and turned around, slowly walking back to Robin. “I know what you meant. Finding Vecna is more important than finding Dustin. I get it. But it won’t save us. Can’t you see? We’re all dead inside already. Everyone’s too obsessed with the crawls to realize it’s not helping anyone! I’m so sick of it! Max is still in a coma, Dustin’s still too fucking depressed and this thing we’re doing is not fucking heroic. We’re not part of some resistant movement. We’re putting our energy on something that won’t happen. We can’t save everyone. Vecna already knows who’s going to kill. We can’t save anyone. We can’t…”.

Sofia had tears in her eyes when she walked away. Robin didn’t know what to say. Sofia never talked like that with her, but she knew it had to do with what Vecna had shown her.

Robin felt stupid for not going after Sofia, but maybe they needed some space. God, she hated seeing her like this. She hated how negative this town had made her, and how weighing the town had become.

She walked back to the Squawk. 

“Where’s Sofy?” Steve asked, surprised the two weren’t together. The room became quiet.

“She left to find Dustin” Robin replied, her lips already curled into a frown.

It caused some drama, but they managed to start the crawl without Sofia. But Robin wasn’t as focused, and she hated that she left Sofia walk away. 

Their number one rule was never leave a fight unfinished. They just did.