Chapter 17

RAVEN

Fear.

It was more in Aurora’s eyes than in Claire’s panicked ones. As if Aurora knew something Claire did not. She appeared to be shaking, more terrified than someone who was just caught kissing a girl like herself.

I understood the feeling, the frozen lake in your gut when you realize the severity of the situation. The scenarios of what could happen, what was about to happen. Aurora was aware, I could tell she knew.

But I did not give a fuck about Aurora, I cared about the teary eyed adorable princess nun glued on the wall. I was quick to make myself known.

“Uhhh what the hell were you thinking kissing in a room anybody could see you all”

Both of their heads snapped my way.

“W..what are you doing here?” Aurora asked, her tone accusatory.

“I don’t owe you any explanation. You have no right to interrogate me and after all the bullshit you pressed me on about, you are no better than me.” I sighed looking back at the door “She is gonna be back with mother superior any second”

“I…uh..I…”

My eyes went to Claire who was just stuck with her back against the wall. Like she could not move, I ignored Aurora who was speaking nonsense, stepping forward to where Claire was. At that moment something in my head just switched off. I did not think of the consequences, I thought of the fear in Claire.

I felt like I was back at home, in my dining room where my family was. I thought of my father slamming my body against the wall and I thought of the look on my little sister’s face. I imagined all she wanted to do was save me. Help me. Take me away from my father’s hands.

So I did.

I grabbed Claire by the shoulders and pushed her off. It was all so in slow motion. The steps echoing in the hallway, I knew they were coming. I pushed a frozen Claire behind the wall I had been standing before, where nobody could see her. I hoped she would stand frozen until it was over then I went back, grabbed a panicking Aurora.

I pushed her against the wall, where Claire was previously standing and pressed my lips against hers just as the door opened.

My heart was hammering against my chest. I felt fingers wrap around my skinny arms. I felt the force of them dragging me back and I fell into them. Aurora had a look of horror on her face.  It only took her a few minutes to register what I had done and I watched her look around for Claire.

“Raven?”

My ears stopped ringing at the sound of her voice, the strong strained voice laced with disbelief. I only looked up to see her face and I whispered her name.

“Elizabeth”

It was strange, the people around us were not the ones I saw everyday. No.

These were dressed differently.

I had seen them once, passing by the corridors. They were older, old. The wrinkles on their faces appeared more between their brows and there was this cruelty in their eyes. Or maybe it was just me. Claire had told me about them.

“She forced herself on me…I didn’t… I tried to push her off. She was going to rape me!”

Aurora’s voice was thicker, desperate. She was trying to save herself. And the tears falling down her face, the horrified look on her face was selling her lies. That was the difference between her and I.

She was pure in her nun uniform while I was the sinner in sweatpants. I was a culprit because that was why I had been  brought to this place. Even Elizabeth believed her, I could tell she did.

“I d-didn’t…I didn’t….I…I…I would never…” All the vocabulary was lost on me. My brain could not come up with anything that made sense.

Because nothing did. I opened my mouth again, tried again.

“I didn’t…I…No…That’s not true…I-I… Wait…”

But I was trying to tell them something, anything. What was I trying to say?. Anything worth listening to even though they were never going to listen to what I had to say, I kept whispering. Shaking my head.

Aurora was digging me a dipper hole to save face. She was burying me by that simple lie.

They were voices, words exchanged and a few nods in a few minutes before my arms were tightly held, the digging of their fingers deep in my skin. I looked at her…

Elizabeth.

I looked at her as they dragged me away.  I felt as though I would never see her again and maybe I could pretend the blood in my arms had not stopped circulating just so I could stare at her face longer.

I would of course explain later, bargain for my innocence. Or so I thought I would have a chance.

The more they dragged me, the darker the hallways became. They grew eerie, heavier. The atmosphere changed and it was uncomfortably difficult for my undiagnosed claustrophobia.

In other words, the walls were closing in on me.

The way these nuns held me were different from the way it all happened at my parents’ house. As if I was the devil himself and they wanted me to feel pain. I turned my head to look back, get a vision of where I was coming from. Before I could blink the darkness away, I felt pain on the side of my face.

The two nuns holding me had crushed the side of my face in a wall light. The pain was unbearable and I tried to shake them off so I could wipe away the feeling of something dripping down my cheek. A door was opened, then locked. Even with a forming headache, I managed to see doors not further apart.

With each step, the atmosphere got more heavy. Like someone had died in this place. I hoped they would keep walking, past this crippling place. It was different from where the nuns stayed, there was a huge door past were they stopped, locked by 3 different silver locks. One on the top, another on the middle and then the one at the bottom.

They shined, at if promising to never let me out.

A door was opened, one that creaked with years of being used. Then I was pushed inside and the nuns stayed outside.

“Mother Superior will come by to speak with you”

Then it was slammed shut. I jumped back, slightly startled.

I crawled up, took in my surroundings. I was in a room with an interior similar to a prison cell except there was no bed or sink.   Just a toilet bowl, a Bible and a bruised girl on her knees praying with tears running down her face.

I crawled back, shocked by the sight. My back meeting the corner wall as if it could let me sink in and take me away.

“H-Hi” I muttered, cautious not to take my eyes off her.

The girl turned around and stared at me from top to bottom. Her eyes were cold, dark and red from crying. Then after analyzing me as if she was looking for something, she sighed. The kind one does when relieved.

“Thank you” She muttered looking upwards as if someone was there.

“Who are you talking to?”

I stared at her bruises, my eyes stayed on one in particular. An almost healing gush that ran from the back of her neck to her arm. The rest was covered by the dress she was wearing. Surprisingly, it was not something that covered all the skin.

And the exposed flesh reviewed wounds, fresh, In the process of healing and old scars.

“God” She finally turned her whole face towards me and I could not help but wonder where I had seen this girl before.

“Oh..” Was all I could mutter, trying to remember where I had seen her before. Could it have been school?. At church?. An e…

“What’s your name?” The bruised girl’s voice cut through my inner thoughts.

“Raven. Yours?” I asked, almost too eager to know.

“Rayana”

Rayana

Wait

Rayana?

I stared at her, now I could see it. The resemblance. It was her. They looked almost the same. The scared eyes I used to see the first days I was brought to this place.

“Rayana, Allita’s twin sister?”

“Uh..I…y-yes”

“Where the hell am I?.”

“C-careful how you speak, punishments here are chosen by the devil himself”

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