Chapter 34

longest chapter in a rly long time wtf also prepare yourselves

the door hadn’t even fully shut behind sophia dragging manon away when the room fell into a strange kind of quiet, the kind that didn’t feel empty so much as it felt like everything had just been shaken and was still settling back into place. dani stood there, still processing, her heart not quite steady from the sudden noise, the sudden movement, the way everything always seemed to escalate faster than she was ready for.

“…that was dramatic,” she muttered under her breath.

“yeah,” megan said.

megan was too close for her liking. dani’s breath caught slightly as she turned, not expecting her to be right there, not expecting the way the space between them had somehow disappeared without her noticing.

for a second, neither of them spoke. and it felt familiar. dangerously familiar.

“you didn’t answer me,” megan said quietly.

dani frowned. “answer you about what?”

“about… us.”

the word hung there, heavy and unfinished.

dani’s chest tightened, instinctively defensive. “there is no ‘us,’ megan.” she said it as quickly as she could, hoping to keep her face emotionless.

megan didn’t back away. if anything, she stepped closer. “don’t do that,” she said, softer now. “don’t pretend like nothing ever happened between us.”

dani let out a short breath, shaking her head slightly. “i’m not pretending anything. i just—” she stopped, words catching. “i don’t think you get to decide that now.”

“then who does?” megan asked.

that made something in dani falter, because she didn’t have an answer. because part of her wanted there to be one.

“dani,” megan said, voice quieter now, almost careful, like she was approaching something fragile instead of forcing it open. “just listen to me for a second, okay?”

“i know i messed up,” megan continued, words slower now, like she was choosing them instead of letting them spill. “i know i didn’t say anything when i should’ve, and i know i made it seem like none of it mattered, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t. it did. it does.”

dani’s fingers curled slightly at her sides.

“just let me finish,” she said quickly, something almost desperate slipping into her voice now. “because if i don’t say this now, i’m not going to say it at all, and i can’t keep doing that.”

the air felt thinner.

harder to breathe. dani inhaled, almost choking on air.

“i thought i had more time,” megan admitted. “i thought i could figure it out later, that it would just… stay there until i was ready to deal with it, but it didn’t. you left, and suddenly it wasn’t something i could ignore anymore, and i realized that i didn’t want to.”

dani’s heartbeat was too loud now. too fast. too much for her to take.

“i didn’t want to lose you,” megan said, softer. “not like that.”

and before dani could respond, megan closed the distance completely and crashed her lips against dani’s. it wasn’t hesitant. it was angry, desperate, longing. it felt like something she’d been holding back for too long and finally stopped stopping herself from doing.

dani shoved megan out of her arms, pressing a hand to her now swollen lips. because it felt like before. because it felt like everything she had tried not to remember. because it felt right in the worst possible way.

megan gasped, eyes lifting just enough to look at her, breath uneven, eyes searching.

“i love you, dani. don’t do this.”

and everything collapsed. it was too much. too fast. too sudden. like being dropped back into something she had barely managed to crawl out of.

dani’s chest tightened sharply, her breath catching in a way that didn’t feel normal, didn’t feel controlled, didn’t feel like something she could fix just by thinking through it.

“don’t say that” she started, but her voice didn’t come out right.

they were thin. unsteady.

her thoughts started slipping over each other.

why would she say that now?

she didn’t say it before, idiot.

she didn’t stop you before

she didn’t choose you before

she’s lying

she feels pitiful for you

WHY WOULD YOU KISS HER?

her breathing quickened. too quick.

“dani?” megan’s voice shifted immediately, concern replacing everything else. “hey—what’s wrong—”

she doesn’t even love you.

“i—” dani tried to speak, but her lungs wouldn’t cooperate, each breath shallow and uneven, her hands starting to shake as she stepped back instinctively.

“hey, hey—slow down,” megan said quickly, reaching for her. “you’re okay, just—breathe, okay? look at me—”

don’t touch me.

the thought hit so fast it startled her.

dani flinched back.

“don’t,” she said, sharper than she meant to. “don’t touch me.”

megan froze. and something about that made it worse.

“i can’t—” dani’s voice broke, her chest rising too fast, too tight, like there wasn’t enough air in the room. “i can’t do this, megan, i can’t—”

“what do you mean?” megan asked, confusion bleeding into her tone now. “i just told you i—”

“i know what you said,” dani cut in, shaking her head quickly, like if she didn’t interrupt it would suffocate her. “i heard you, i just—i don’t know if i believe it.”

silence.

heavy.

“you don’t believe me?” megan repeated, quieter now.

dani swallowed hard.

“you didn’t say it before,” she said, voice uneven but clearer now, even if it hurt. “you didn’t stop me before. you didn’t—” her breath hitched. “you didn’t choose me before.”

megan didn’t respond immediately.

and that felt like the answer.

“i can’t be something you realize you want after i leave,” dani said, stepping back again. “i can’t be your second thought.”

“you’re not—”

“i don’t know that,” dani snapped, panic bleeding into frustration now. “i don’t know anything right now except that this feels wrong, and i don’t trust it, and i don’t trust myself around you enough to pretend like this is okay.”

“dani—”

she shook her head.

“i can’t,” she repeated, quieter now.

and then she turned and ran out.

the drive back to her apartment was a blur she barely remembered, the city passing by in streaks of light and movement that didn’t quite register, her hands still trembling slightly on the steering wheel, her breathing uneven even after she forced it to slow down.

by the time she got inside, the silence hit her all at once.

she dropped her bag by the door, pacing once, twice, before sinking down onto the floor with her back against the couch, knees pulled up slightly as she pressed her palms against her eyes.

“stupid,” she muttered under her breath. “idiot. no one even loves you. not even yoonchae.”

her phone buzzed.

once.

twice.

three times.

she didn’t need to check.

she knew.

still, she reached for it, only for it to be pulled out of her hand.

“nope.”

dani blinked, looking up.

“yoonchae?”

yoonchae stood over her, already holding the phone out of reach, her expression calm but firm in a way that didn’t leave room for argument.

“you’re not answering that right now.”

“chae—”

“no,” she said simply, crouching down in front of her. “you’re shaking.”

dani hadn’t noticed. “why are you here?”

yoonchae sighed. “because i care about you, and i know you’re not okay.”

“…i messed up,” dani whispered.

yoonchae’s eyes softened.

“maybe,” she said. “but not in the way you think.”

dani let out a shaky breath, looking down at her hands.

“she said she loves me,” she admitted.

“and is that a problem?” yoonchae asked gently.

dani laughed, but it came out wrong. “it is when it’s too late.”

yoonchae didn’t respond immediately. just watched her.

waiting.

“i wanted her to say that before,” dani continued, voice quieter now. “i needed her to say that before. not after everything, not after i already—” she stopped, swallowing. “i don’t know if it’s real or if it’s just… because i’m not there anymore.”

yoonchae nodded slowly. “that’s fair.”

another buzz.

from the phone still in the maknae’s hand.

yoonchae glanced at it.

then frowned slightly.

“…that’s not megan.”

dani looked up.

“what?”

yoonchae hesitated, then turned the screen toward her.

unknown number. another message came in.

unknown:

miss me yet?

dani’s stomach dropped.

unknown:

or do you only run when things get hard?

her breath caught. “…no,” she whispered.

yoonchae’s expression hardened slightly. “who is this?”

“adri,” dani mumbled. that scared her more than anything megan had said.