Chapter 18

“And I am madly desperate to be yours“

October 26th- Saturday

Sofia wakes up to the sound of her phone ringing. She looks at her clock and it’s 9:34am.

“Hello?” Sofia says through the phone, with a tired voice.

“Happy birthday!” Robin says excitedly through the phone. “Seventeen years ago, at this exact time, my favorite human was born! Wohoo” 

Sofia laughs and blushes. “Thank you” she says, playing with her hair. “Though I don’t thank you for waking me up early”

“Be careful, you might even enjoy the morning!” Robin jokes, sarcastically.

After they talk for a while, Sofia gets up and walks to the kitchen to get some breakfast. “Someone woke up early” Dustin, who’s sitting at the counter eating cereal, says.

“Yeah, magical right?” Sofia says while getting a bowl for her cereal.

Dustin drops off the counter, puts his bowl on the dishwasher and walks to his room.

Sofia sits on the sofa, turning on the TV, when Dustin appears in front of her with a box.

“Happy birthday Sofy” he says with his best smile, handing her the box.

“Thanks Dusty” she smiles at her brother and opens the box. Inside the box is a silver necklace with a rainbow pendant. Sofia smiles at it, feeling that she could cry right on the spot. Having her brother’s support feels so freeing, like she could just scream to the world that she liked girls.

“As if I didn’t look gay enough” Sofia jokes, making Dustin chuckle.

“Do you like it?” he asks with a smile.

“Yes. I love it” she says, getting up and hugging her brother. He tries to let go but she holds onto him for a few more seconds. When he pulls away, she messes with his hair. “Thank you” she tells him. 

When Sofia finishes her breakfast, she puts the bowl on the dishwasher and walks to her room. She carefully picks her outfit: a black dress, one of Dustin’s button-down shirts, black glass socks and her Dr. Marteen’s boots and does her makeup. She puts on her new necklace and a few rings. 

She walks to the kitchen and cleans the dishes while listening to Hatful of Hollow by The Smiths. When she’s done with her house chores, she starts doing her report on To Kill a Mockingbird, for her literature class. It’s now one of her favorite books.

After spending two hours drafting her report, it’s lunch time. She makes pasta for her, her mother, who came home from work to have lunch with Sofia, and Dustin.

They quickly eat and her mother goes back to work. As Sofia cleans the lunch dishes, Dustin screams from his bedroom “Sofia, phone!”

She quickly dries her hands on the towel and runs to the phone in the kitchen. “Hello” she says, wondering who was calling.

“Hi, it’s Cher” Cher says, sounding a bit distant.

“What’s up?” Sofia asks, sitting down on the nearest chair.

“So…” Cher says.

“What’s wrong?” Sofia asks, knowing that nothing good comes after Cher says “So”.

“You know, Jason and I are going strong. I really like him, he really likes me… it’s amazing” Cher says. “And we’re going to take the next big step in our relationship”

“Haven’t you done that already?” Sofia asks.

“No, silly. I meant meeting his parents” Cher clarifies. “The problem is… the only time available for them until Christmas is today at dinner… so, would you mind if I didn’t come to your party? I promise I’ll make it up to you”

Sofia sighs in disappointment. It’s true that things between her and Cher weren’t back to normal, but they were good friends. “Yeah, sure. It’s okay” Sofia says, not wanting to force Cher to come to her birthday party.

“You sure?” Cher asks. Sofia could imagine how hard Cher was smiling right now.

“Positive. Have fun” Sofia says. They say their goodbyes and Sofia hangs up. Looking at the clock, she notices it’s almost 3pm. She barely has time to feel disappointment with the number of appointments she has for today.

“Dustin, can you clean the dishes?” she yells from the kitchen.

“Why?” he yells back.

“I have to pick up my cake… and Robin” she yells, starting to hear his footsteps.

“Of course, your deserts” he says, walking in the kitchen, with a smirk.

“Shut up” Sofia says, hiding a smile. She walks to the couch, grabs her bag, and then grabs her The Smiths cassette from the kitchen.

She drives to Robin’s house and when she gets there, she honks three times. After a minute, Robin rushes out of the house and enters the car. “Hello, birthday girl” Robin says, hugging Sofia.

“Hi” Sofia says, melting from Robin’s hug.

It’s been hard for Sofia to not kiss Robin and cuddle with her and watch her fall asleep in her arms and play with her hair as she lays in her arms like she imagined. She can’t stop thinking about their kiss back in August. She can’t stop thinking about Robin’s hand on her back and how right it felt.

She can’t stop feeling guilty about pulling Robin away during the kiss. She didn’t feel ready then, but she feels ready now. She just doesn’t know how to say it to Robin.

Sofia opens the door to her house while Robin holds the box with the cake. Robin walks inside first, putting the cake in the fridge. It’s a strawberry cake with fake candy flowers on top. 

“See? I didn’t let it fall” Robin says, contrary to what Sofia thought was going to happen.

Sofia starts organizing the kitchen with Robin’s help, as Madonna plays in the background.

“Okay, we’ll need eight plates and eight cups” Sofia says, opening the cabinet to the plastic plates and cup. “Can you get them for me?”

“You can’t reach them?” Robin asks, smiling.

“I can’t, thank you for reminding me of how short I am” Sofia says.

“You’re only like… 4 inches smaller than me” Robin says, handing her the plates.

Sofia puts the plates on the counter and shifts closer to Robin as she gets the cups. Robin hands her the cups and realizes their bodies are much closer than before.

They look at each other in the eye, but Robin’s gaze accidentally shifts to Sofia’s body, looking at her up and down. Sofia bites the inside of her cheek, noticing Robin’s gaze.

Robin gulps, making eye contact again. “Y-you look very pretty” she says.

“Thanks” Sofia whispers.

Their breathing starts to get heavier as they slowly shift closer to each other, until they hear a door opening. 

“Hey, guys-” Dustin bursts into the kitchen, and then stops as he sees Sofia and Robin quickly separate. He fights the urge to make a joke and keeps talking “Mike’s asking at what time they’re supposed to be here… he forgot”

“Uh, 8pm” Sofia says. She must have been so lost in Robin’s eyes that she didn’t even hear the phone ring.

Sofia and Robin sit on the couch, watching TV. The table is all set, and the birthday hats are ready to be used. The smell of three lavender scented candles filled the house.

It was a good day.

After a while, hearing the doorbell ring, Sofia got up from the couch as Robin removed her arm around Sofia’s shoulder.

Opening the door she saw Nancy, Mike, Lucas, and Erica.

“Happy birthday!” Nancy says, giving Sofia a hug. Mike and Lucas say the same, each handing her a gift.

“You came!” Sofia smiles at Erica.

“Only because Lucas made me” Erica says in her usual sassy tone.

“Sure thing” Sofia mutters, knowing that deep down Erica likes her.

After talking with Nancy for a bit, while Robin was sitting next to them listening, the doorbell rang again, and Sofia opened the door. It was Steve and Max.

“Happy birthday Sofy” Steve says, giving the girl a hug. “Here’s your gift” he hands her a box. She thanks him, glancing between him and Max.

“You picked her up?” Sofia asks Steve, with a smile, feeling somewhat proud.

“Yeah, I didn’t want her walking around alone at this time” he says to which Sofia nods.

Sofia moves to Max, as the girl congratulates her. “It’s not much but I hope you like it” Max says, handing her a small box.

“I’m sure it’s perfect” Sofia says, putting the box next to the others.

She knows Max is going through a tough time. She just moved houses and, according to Dustin, her relationship with Lucas is going downhill.

Also, the death of her brother is starting to slowly affect her. Sofia knew that it was going to happen sometime, but it still hurts seeing Max suffer and not being able to help her.

It’s now half past ten. Dustin, Mike, Erica, and Lucas are in Dustin’s room with Steve while Max, Nancy, Sofia, and Robin are in the living room, chatting. Noticing the time, Sofia gets up and walks to the kitchen.

“Dustin! It’s time to cut the cake!” Sofia yells from the kitchen. Robin helps her take the cake to the table in the living room as everyone sits around the table.

They sing happy birthday, and she blows out the candles. As she cuts the cake, she feels this sense of comfort, like they’re a big family. Like everything’s all right. It feels perfect.

They eat the cake and it’s time to open the gifts. First, she opens Lucas and Erica’s gift. It’s a tiny Back to the Future poster.

“It was Erica’s idea” Lucas says and Erica elbows him.

“Back to the Future…” Sofia says with a small smile, remembering when then were hiding in the cinema from the Russians. “Thank you, guys”

Next, she opens Nancy and Mike’s gift. It’s The House on Mango Street, a book by Sandra Cisneros.

“I’ve been wanting to buy this one for a while…” Sofia says with a big smile, examining the artwork on the cover and back cover.

“Also, Will, Jonathan and El asked me to give you this” Mike says, taking an envelope from his pocket.

Sofia carefully opens it, revealing a happy birthday postal signed by the three of them plus Joyce.

“Aw, thank you. And tell them I said thank you, please” Sofia says, feeling happier than ever. It was good to feel loved.

Next, she opens Max’s gift. After taking two layers of glue tape, Sofia took the wrapping off. Inside the tiny box was a cassette of Dancing Queen by Abba.

“I don’t know if you have it already-” Max starts to ramble.

“I don’t. It’s so on point” Sofia says, making Max smile proudly. “Thank you”.

She moves on to the last gift- Steve’s gift. It’s a tiny plank black box. She opens it, and it’s a bracelet matching the necklace Dustin gave her.

“It matches!” Sofia says, excited like a child.

Robin looks at Sofia with a tiny smile for the entire time. She wonders if Sofia’s real, she seems too good to be true.

At about midnight, people start to leave. First goes Nancy and Mike because Nancy still had to finish writing something for the paper.

Then Steve left with Erica, Max, and Lucas, who talked a bit at the party.

Dustin helps put the dishes in the kitchen but then goes to his room. Sofia and Robin wash the dishes, as they talk about the party.

They mostly gossip. Sofia tells Robin about Lucas’s odd behavior because he’s joined the basketball team. Robin mostly listens because she doesn’t know them well yet.

“Do you wanna drive around?” Robin asks, once they’ve finished cleaning everything.

“Oooh, yes. Where to?” Sofia asks, feeling excited by the idea.

“I don’t know, maybe that garden we went to once, remember? The parking lot had a great view” Robin suggests.

“Yeah, sure. Let me just ask Dustin if it’s okay with him” Sofia says.

She walks to Dustin’s room, leaving Robin in the kitchen. She knocks, and once Dustin gives her the green light, she comes in.

“Hey, is it okay Robin and I going out now? Since mom isn’t sleeping here today…” Sofia asks Dustin, who’s already in his pajamas and reading a book about mechanics.

“Sure” Dustin responds with a smirk. “Just don’t do anything crazy”. Sofia rolls her eyes and walks out of his room.

When they’re almost there, Robin starts looking through the glove box. “The best 60’s hits?” Robin says with a chuckle, as she finds the cassette.

“It was my mom’s!” Sofia laughs.

They get to the parking lot and it’s empty. The sky is dark and full of stars. They get out of the car, feeling a soft breeze of wind. The smell of smoke and trees filled the air.

Sofia sits on the car hood, and Robin does so too. Robin starts looking at Sofia, noticing every breath she took.

Feeling Robin’s eyes on her, Sofia looks back. “What?” she asks, smiling.

“Nothing” Robin says, giving an embarrassed smile and looking to the side.

“Is something wrong?” Sofia asks.

“No, no… it’s just that-” Robin abruptly stops talking.

Robin couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t not kiss Sofia and not hold her hand and not call her “mine”. She couldn’t wait anymore.

“It’s just that what?” Sofia asks.

Can’t take my eyes off you starts playing in the car, hearing it faintly.

Robin jumps out of the car and runs her hands through her hair- which Sofia always found extremely hot. Robin looked nervous.

“I… I need you to know that ever since you came into my life, everything’s better” Robin says, maintaining eye contact with Sofia.

“Robin…” Sofia whispers, a tender smile forming on her lips.

“Look, I don’t care about this stupid town or what people will think” Robin keeps saying, making Sofia nervous because she knew what Robin was talking about.

“It’s all worth it to be with you” she continues. “I like how excited you get about small things. I like how much you care about people. I like that you speak your mind. I like everything about you, even the things you don’t talk about-“

“Robin-” Sofia interrupts Robin and jumps out of the car.

“I like how you pronounce the word stracciatella. I like to hear you talk, I could listen to your voice for hours. And I am madly desperate to be yours. I wanna grow old with you. I’ll like you when your hair is turning gray, and I know I’ll like you forever because-“

“Robin” Sofia says with a smile, placing her hands on Robin’s face. “I like you too”.

And they kiss. Not a cheap kiss. A genuine kiss. The one they’ve been daydreaming about for months.

Robin’s lips move softly as she places her hands on Sofia’s waist, pulling her closer. Their lips move in sync, not letting go of each other. This was the moment they had been waiting for, and it was perfect.

You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.

The song kept playing as they were kissing. Sofia’s hands had moved on to Robin’s hair. It felt better than she had imagined.

“Does this mean?…” Robin asks, pulling away to take a breath. She places her forehead on Sofia’s, both panting.

“Yes” Sofia smiles and kisses Robin before she can say anything else. Slowly yet passionate kisses.

Once they let go, they sit on the car hood again. Robin holds Sofia’s hand as they’re sitting much closer now.

“You don’t know how long I wanted to do this” Sofia says, chuckling.

“Trust me, I know” Robin smiles, and this time gives Sofia a little kiss. “I… I forgot to give you your birthday present”

“Oh, don’t worry about it” Sofia smiles. That’s all she could do around Robin: smile.

Robin takes a folded paper from her pocket and hands it to Sofia. She unfolds the paper and scans through it, finding it to be a poem.

She hands the paper back to Robin, who makes a surprised look. “Read it to me” Sofia orders, leaning back.

“What?” Robin asks, confused.

“I like hearing your voice too” Sofia says with a soft tone.

Robin takes a deep breath, holds onto the paper tightly and starts reading the poem.

What if I can’t prove
The strength of your touch
My cries alone
Are not good enough

But I’m spilling out
Around you I need
Your help I can’t last
All in a frenzy

I have nothing to say
About love anymore
Love is nothing
I am yours

Braced for kindness
Slack insensitive
Woman I’m being
A little abrasive

Guess I don’t need to run
Away with this love
I don’t need to protect
I should be afraid of this love

I know it’s my fault
I need to lie dead
To find a cascade toward
Something but dread

I have nothing to say
About love anymore
Love is nothing
I am yours

______________________________________________

A/N: HOW ARE YALL FEELINGGGGF

i cant tell you how many times I replayed this moment in my head before writing it, omg. 

I’m thinking of writing more 2 to 4 chapters before starting season 4, I already got a couple of ideas ehe

Please please vote!!!!
It took me so long to write this

See ya soon, xx