Chapter 15

His sister was pretty. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, but then there’s this guilty feeling that made me look away. It felt like I was cheating on someone  even though I’m not in a relationship. That’s so weird.

She slumped down beside her brother with an annoyed expression.

“Judging by the look on your face, your date didn’t end well, did it?” Reed rested his arm on her chair, waiting for her to talk.

She rolled her eyes at him. “It was a disaster! A complete disaster! I don’t even know where you found someone like her,”

“Brooke is nothing but a sweetheart! How come it was a disaster?”

“She’s a nerd, Reed. She’s way out of my league. She started talking about math and her rocks collection. Do you think that’s cool?”

“I think it’s cute. What do you think, Amber?” They both turned their heads to me.

“And who you might be?” Blaire raised an eyebrow at me.

“Oh sorry! How rude of me. Amber, I want you to meet my sister, Blaire. Blaire this is Amber,” Reed introduced us.

I handed out my hand for her to shake. “Nice to meet you, Blaire.” I smiled.

She took my hand, smiling at me. “It’s very nice to meet you too. Hey, Reed? Why didn’t you hook me up with her rather than with Brooke? She’s totally a babe,”

Reed laughed, patting her back. “Cause I like her and she’s my date.” That caused my face to flush.

“Why be with him if we could be together?” She smirked, winking in my direction. I chuckled awkwardly although I’m kinda getting used to people flirting with me because of Lucy.

And why am I thinking about her again?!

This was making my head hurt. I just don’t know what to do anymore and how to stop thinking about her.

“Blaire, she’s straight.” Her brother informed.

“Really?” I nodded at her. She bit her lower lip, looking like she’s thinking about something. “Hey bro?”

“Yep?”

“You might want to ask Amber if she wants to eat something. She looks hungry.”

“Oh, sure! What should I get you?” He stood up, fixing his hair that blocked his eyes.

“Just a burger and Mountain Dew.” I smiled sweetly at him, appreciating how much of a gentleman he was.

“I’ll have a coffee,” Blaire said.

Reed nodded and went to fall in the line, leaving me alone with his sister, which made me a little shy and awkward. Meeting new people was something I’m not good at. That’s why I only have a few friends, but I’m okay with it. Having a few friends that are real was better than having tons who are fake.

Blaire was watching her brother who’s waiting patiently in the line before turning her gaze to me. “Alright, babe, tell me the truth,”

I was confused about what she’s talking about. “What do you mean?”

“You’re not straight, are you?”

“Uh… I am..?” Instead of a statement, it came out more like a question. Like I wasn’t certain.

“Why do you sound like you’re not certain about your answer?”

“I am,” I said firmer. Now I was sure of my answer.

She eyed me for a while, glancing behind to check on her brother, then back to me. “Look at the line, we have time. Now, Amber, make me your human diary. I can read people and you’re definitely bothered by something and it seems like you’re just forced to go out with my bro.” She blurted.

My head snapped to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking ab-“

“Oh come on. Think of this as a girl to girl talk, you can tell me everything.”

I fought with myself whether I should tell her what’s bothering me or just keep my mouth shut. But it’s eating me alive, and I don’t know how long I could still handle it. Letting out a sigh, I made a choice to tell her. “There’s this girl who has a crush on me and she’s flirty, clingy, annoying…”

“Pretty?” She added as I trailed off.

“Of course she is,” I said absentmindedly. Then I realized what I just said. “But l-like pretty cause we’re friends and she’s nice-“

“I get it. Stop rambling and continue,”

I thought of the things that I like about her. “She’s fun to be with, funny, sweet, easy to talk to-”

“And has kissable lips?”

“And has kissable lips…” I felt myself smiling, then I realized again what I just said. “No, wait I-“

She cut me off again. “Remember, I am your human diary. Don’t lie to yourself and be honest.” She said sternly.

I took a deep breath, gave it a second to think about what I wanted to say. But like what she said: make her my human diary. So I told the truth. “I don’t know if I like her. But she makes me feel things that guys should, you know?”

“Oh honey, you are gay,”

I gave her a ‘what the fuck’ look. “Dude.”

“Have you ever liked a guy before?”

“Of course. I had a bf but turns out he’s gay. After that, I haven’t liked anyone,”

“What about a girl? Have you ever liked a girl?”

I blinked, looking anywhere but her eyes. There’s this secret that I haven’t told anyone- not even Lexi.

When I was in 3rd grade, there was this girl named Annabelle, and she was just funny and cute and I liked her at that time. As a little kid, I thought liking girls was a normal thing for me. But I never told anyone about it, fearing that they might not be happy with it. After that, I forgot about it, until now.

“I never actually told this to anyone and you’d be the first… But yes. But I was like 9 at that time.”

She nodded her head, leaning closer to me. “Do you think my brother has a chance with you?”

I looked at Reed who’s now ordering our food. Seemed like he felt my eyes were on him, so he twisted his head and gave me a smile. I smiled back quickly, but it wasn’t long till I frowned. “Reed is a kindhearted person and a gentleman. So maybe? No? I don’t know,” My forehead touched the table, sighing in frustration.

Blaire tapped my head, getting my attention. “What about the girl that makes your heart skip a beat?”

“She’s not making my heart ski- ugh! Nevermind.”

“You’re in denial. You know it’s normal to deny things and you’re totes confused. Here, I’ll give you my number so you can talk to me about things and if ever you and your girl don’t work out, you know you can call me,” She handed me her phone and I put my number there while she put hers on my phone.

“How did you figure that you’re gay?” I asked.

“Just like you, I was in denial. This girl made my heart race, she was hot! I was confused and tried to explore my sexuality. I tried watching gay films, tried sexting with girls- which I enjoyed,” She winked. “And because of that, I realized that I was gay.”

“So you think I should try… Sexting too?” My eyes doubled its size.

“Do whatever you want, baby. But if you wanna try that, you can definitely start with me,” She smiled seductively.

“I’d rather stick with the gay films, thank you… But uh, what about Reed? What should I tell him?

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry. Leave him to me, he’ll understand,”

“Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, boo!”

Reed put the tray down on the table and put his hands on his hips, looking at Blaire and me. “Hey girls, what did I miss?”

“Nothing.”

“A lot.”

After we ate, we decided to call it for a day, and Reed drove me home. The trip was quiet; Blaire had her earphones on, Reed was singing under his breath, and I being in the passenger seat was just staring at the window.

I took my seatbelt off once we’re at my house. “Thank you so much, Reed,”

“Hey, no problem, Amber,” He smiled.

I returned the smile. “I really enjoyed today,”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“It was nice meeting you, Blaire,” I peeked behind the passenger seat.

“You too. Remember, I’m only one call away if you need anything,”

I chuckled and nodded my head. I watched them drove off before going inside the house.

And the thing I realized was, I might just have a crush on Lucy.