Chapter 5

“How about we go to the aquarium?” she suggested.

“Excellent!” Jesse stabbed a finger towards the ceiling. “What better way to consider humanity than from the perspective of the last true real frontier on our earth? Plus, it’s proven to reduce blood pressure.”

Apparently we were spending the day together that Sunday. I passively drove us while they paid for my coffee and ticket.

If it had just been me, I’d have been crying into my pillow, composing godawful poetry about the futility of life. Instead I was being emotionally coddled by my two favorite people and getting constant hugs. It was nice.

I stared deep into the abyss of a jellyfish tank and wondered if they had it better there in the aquarium than outside, in the real ocean. In captivity, they were fed consistently and safe. Out there was a grand expanse of freedom and choices… and pollution and predators. I sighed deeply, wallowing in my dark thoughts, when a pair of warm, dainty hands circled my waist.

I leaned back and flopped the back of my head on her shoulder.

“You are both way too nice,” “You don’t have to do all this.”

“We’re just hanging out with you, and I’m enjoying myself. I know Jesse is too.” She nuzzled my neck with hers, and, as dejected and lost as I felt, my body still responded in a visceral way to her.

We looked over to see Jesse dancing along with a sea lion, and smiled at his exuberance.

“It really is just the feeling of failure. I’m going to miss someone to latch on to, as pathetic as that sounds.” The thoughts that had been rattling around my head made their way out in the safe space of her embrace.

“You’re not a failure,” “You’re not pathetic. Anyone would be proud to call you their girlfriend.”

My heart felt the stab.

Her arms gripped me harder. It jolted me out of my negative train of thought. I squirmed out of her arms and went to join Jesse, unable to take her closeness anymore.

By the time we went back to her house, my mind was more settled.

In the following week, Joey attempted to apologize, but I repeated Jesse’s words that we were wasting our time when we could instead be moving forward.

I threw myself into writing, and my brain started up again. Where before I was a giant, anxious mess, ideas were starting to flow and words were coming out.

I resolved to take further steps towards a place I could continue to write. I started to lead my life as though a catalyst was right around the corner. Being neutral, I neither expected a catastrophe or a blessing, but just something I felt was coming—some shift in my life that was unavoidable.

I wrote and wrote and wrote. It was mostly nonsense, but once in a while there were little nuggets of gold I took out and polished lovingly.

“I built the bare bones of my first novel during that time. Looking back on it now, it’s not my best work, but I remember it fondly.”

“I liked it! Very fantastical. I think your personality was all over it. Maybe you were feeling vulnerable back then.”

I hummed as I considered.

She continued. “I miss your friends. Kyle was sweet.”

“Me too. But she got them in the breakup, and Reggie hates my guts.”

“That’s too bad. When is your next book tour again?”

“August in Los Angeles for a book fair and, while we’re there, a few podcasts. Sully is excited and is making me speak on a panel. He’s vying for a TV spot on a daytime show, but I highly doubt he’ll get it.” I grimaced as I imagined his boisterous personality, shoving me around like a piece of meat. “Will you come visit me? It will make it more tolerable.”

“Of course, as much as you want! I won’t pass up a chance to go to LA. I’ll lounge by the pool while you’re working.”

I scowled and tackled her, pinning her wrists above her head.

“That is not what I had in mind,” I growled.

We were still naked. Her hair fanned out under her as I loomed over her body.

“What did you have in mind then?” she teased.

“Making love to you on a beach somewhere and showing you off as my divine muse to the stuffy literary world.”

“Hopefully not at the same time.”

I waggled my eyebrows at her and leaned down to claim her soft lips. I ran the tip of my tongue across her lips, and she shivered at the sensation.

Her hands cradled my neck warmly when I let them go, and I could feel my center heating up again.

“Of course I’ll go with you, Mor! Someone has to keep you from murdering poor Sully.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, ‘poor Sully’ indeed.”

“Sex on the beach sounds lovely, too.” She sighed as she scratched at the nape of my neck.

I kissed her and danced my tongue with hers. It shot electricity down my spine, making my clit throb. I wanted her mouth on me.

I pulled her shoulder as I rolled over. She got the hint as she sucked in a tiny bit of skin at my neck. I squirmed under her and she touched my nipple teasingly.

Her kisses drew lower, and she worshipped my body like I had enjoyed her earlier. She liked biting roughly because she knew it got me hot. I moaned when her sharp teeth dug into my skin.

The pain from her bite at my hip had my arousal flowing. I bit my lip as I waited for her mouth to touch my clit, which was screaming for attention.

She licked at my engorged lips slowly. I heard a ringing in my ears as I fought to restrain myself from grabbing her head and leading her to where I needed it to be.

She bit at a lip, and I cried out. The pain radiated throughout my pelvis and shot back to land as a buzzing sensation on my clit.

“God, you’re sexy!” I groaned out.

She hummed as she finally touched my nub. My toes curled. I opened my legs to give her more space, and she dragged her nails along the inside of my thighs.

I laid my hands on her silky hair and felt her head bob as her hot tongue touched me.

“Pull my hair,” she muttered in between licks. I almost didn’t hear her.

I grabbed two fistfuls of her red waves and pulled up. She rewarded me with a deep moan, and by sucking my clit in her mouth. I relaxed my fingers and soothed her scalp. I repeated the cycle all over her head, and we moved together as we chased my climax.

“Ugh! Your mouth is magic.” My lower body tensed as I felt the coil tighten. My focus centered on the point of contact between her tongue and my glans as I exploded with electric spasms.

“Fuck.” I flopped down and she slowed, slurping up my juices. She climbed up my body again with soft kisses. I nudged her to flip her over. I kneeled between her legs and smiled at her mussed-up hair. “I did a number on your hair, sorry!”

“It felt good.” She ran her hands down her sides. I touched her pelvis, opening her lips and running two fingers along her clit.

I slipped my middle and ring fingers in her and leaned to capture a kiss as I fucked her. She moaned and huffed out through her nose as I attacked her mouth, hardly letting her breath.

I drove my hips into the hand at her center. We ground into each other furiously. Her nails clawed at my sweaty back, and her sounds rose in pitch as she tensed in anticipation of the rolling wave about to crash into her.

After a few more rough thrusts, she squeezed my fingers with her walls and my hips with her thighs. I stopped kissing her, and she sucked in giant gulps of air.

I squeezed her center one last time and pulled out of her. The come was dribbling down her crack, and I leaned down to lick it up. She screamed and pushed my head away, but I persisted and cleaned up the excess juices.

“Apples, Mor!” She said our safe word, and I immediately stopped.

“Couldn’t resist.” I grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes, bringing me down again for sweet, chaste pecks.

I looked in her dancing eyes. Like the most intriguing book in the world, I never got tired of reading them. Each sparkle was a new feeling that didn’t have a word in the English language, and I was addicted.

“Let’s keep taking over the world? Together?” My eyes were on fire, too.

“Bring it on,” she whispered dangerously as she flipped us over.