Chapter 20

𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗

We all sat packed into the diner for brunch, everybody talkin’ over each other, laughin’, passing plates like we’d been starvin’ for days. The food smelled good, the vibes were supposed to be good, the whole “last few days of the trip” energy was sitting right there on the table…And yet, I wasn’t feeling it.

We only had a couple days left before me and Aries had to head back home. Apparently, my dad was flying back to Atlanta and wanted to see me, which basically meant: my freedom was on a timer.

But honestly? I couldn’t even enjoy what was left of this trip, because Aries had barely been speakin’ to me.

And not in the loud, obvious, “we mad at each other” way either. Nah. She still talked when necessary, still stood near me when she needed to, still did her job like clockwork… but them easy conversations? The little back-and-forth we do?

Gone. And that was worse, because when we argued on campus, at least she argued back.

I nudged her shoulder with mine while everyone else was distracted, tryna keep it low-key.

She turned her head to look at me, calm as ever, and I stared back at her for a second before speakin’.

“You ain’t talkin’ to me lately,” I started, keeping my voice low. “Why?”

She shrugged like I asked her if water was wet.

I stared at her for a second, then calmly—very calmly—lifted my foot and stomped on hers under the table. Hard.

She jolted up with a quiet groan, shootin’ me a glare like she was deciding if I deserved to live.

“Can we talk about this another time?” she muttered under her breath so only I could hear.

Another time? 

Because when exactly was “another time” supposed to be? After the trip? Back at home? When we back to actin’ like strangers again?

Absolutely not.

“What?” I leaned in a little closer, lowerin’ my voice but not my attitude. “Is it because we been round each other so much that you tired of every lil’ thing I do?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose like I was a walkin’ migraine. “You sure that ain’t you?” she shot back.

I sucked my teeth immediately, leanin’ back like she just tried me in public—which she did.

Britney glanced over, clearly sensin’ sumn was off, and I gave her a quick, subtle shake of my head like, don’t start.

But Aries caught that, and just like that, she went quiet again, turnin’ her attention back to her plate like this conversation ain’t exist.

So now we silent again? Yeah, no. Now I’m irritated. Because don’t do that. Don’t start something with me then go mute like you on airplane mode or sumn shit.

I turned back to her, fully committed. “Go ‘head. Spit it out so you can stop actin’ pressed,” I said, my tone sharper now, because what are we draggin’ this for? Seriously.

Her jaw clenched slightly, a small huff leaving her nose like she was holding back more than she was saying.

“Londyn,” she said, her voice low but controlled, “let’s talk about this when we get back, how’s that?”

I rolled my eyes so hard. “I wanna talk about it now,” I shot back, my voice raisin’ a little without me even meaning to. “Why can’t we do it now?”

The table went quiet. Khalil stopped mid-bite, Imani froze, and Britney slowly blinked. Even Chelsea looked up like her stomachache took a backseat for this.

Which… honestly? That alone should’ve told me I did too much..

Aries let out a sharp breath, pushin’ her chair back as she stood up.

“We finna head back a lil’ early,” she said, not even lookin’ at them as she reached down and wrapped her hand around my wrist, pullin’ me up before I could even argue.

Britney facepalmed immediately like, here we go.

The rest of them gave awkward little waves and “y’all be safe”, but I barely even registered it because Aries was already draggin’ me out the diner.

I didn’t even get to see Essence’s reaction which annoyed me, ’cause I know she had one.

By the time we got to the parkin’ lot, Aries hadn’t said a single word. She just opened the car, got in, and I followed, slammin’ the door a little harder than necessary because I was still irritated.

She didn’t waste time. She just started the engine and pulled out like she was on a mission to get this over with.

The whole ride back was silent. Painfully silent. The kind of silence that be havin’ yo thoughts bouncing off the walls in your head.

I sat there, starin’ out the window, tappin’ my nails against my thigh, runnin’ through everything I wanted to say and somehow still not satisfied with any of it.

By the time we got back, the tension was so loud, it might as well be in the kitchen fixin’ itself a plate.

The second the door shut behind us, Aries turned around, throwin’ her hands up like she had been holding that in the whole ride.

“Speak your mind,” she said.

“Watch that little attitude you tryna grow,” I warned, pointin’ at her like I was ’bout to put her on probation, and she groaned immediately, throwin’ her head back like the ceiling was her last bit of patience.

“Londyn,” she said, way too calm for somebody who got stomped on 20 minutes ago, “Look… there’s a time and a place, and brunch ain’t it. Folks tryna eat pancakes in peace..”

“Mind you,” I started, steppin’ closer and jabbing my finger into her chest like I was pressing a doorbell, “you haven’t came to me to talk ’bout the problem. I have to come to you every time.”

Her face went blank so fast it was like she put her feelings on Do Not Disturb. “So we really doin’ this today.”

I crossed my arms, lifting my chin like yeah, we are, and she huffed, draggin’ a hand down her face like I was physically exhausting.

“Londyn, you can’t even tell me what the hell you want,” she said.

“Nigga, what is you—”

“No.” She shook her head, cuttin’ me off mid-sentence, already over me. “One minute you want me to stay, the next minute you ain’t want shit to do with me, and then the other day you got me actin’ like I’m all up your ass.”

“Because who asks that question!?” I snapped immediately, throwin’ my hands up. “Of course I’ma talk to niggas!?”

“I ain’t stopping you from doing shit?” she shot back, matchin’ my energy now. “I asked that fuck ass question because of how you is,” she huffed.

I narrowed my eyes at her like she just spoke a different language. “Fuck you talkin’ ’bout?”

“Somebody say hi and you act like they asked for a kidney,” she started, countin’ it off like she had receipts lined up, “You said you done with niggas, but your feet walked you right over there. Ain’t that sumn, Londyn.”

My mouth opened then closed.

Because… okay. Sure. But that ain’t the point.

We not ’bout to just skip over her behavior like she been perfect.

I fired back. “You still won’t own that you check out every time something goes left.” I wasn’t letting her get comfortable for a second.

She sucked her teeth hard. “Can you own up to the fact that you can never make up your damn mind?” she snapped, her voice raisin’ now. “I wouldn’t be fallin’ back if you ain’t say shit that make me rethink where I stand with you?”

“Oh, so it’s my fault,” I said, steppin’ closer, and she stepped forward too, now towering over me.

“I need you to tell me what you want, Londyn” she said, firm this time.

I halted for a second before my lips parted like I had something solid to say…but nothing came out.

I cleared my throat, lookin’ away like the floor suddenly had answers.

“When the power went out you swore up and down you’d stay by my side,” I said, my voice quieter now, but still tight. “Meanwhile, you steady disappearin’.”

Her brows furrowed immediately. “How? I haven’t left your side. The only time I have is on my days off—”

“Essence got you so focused you forgot the rest of us exist!” I snapped, shoving her before I could stop myself. “Youn pay me no mind unless you got no other choice.”

She stepped back slightly, her brows pulling together as she pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head like she was trying to process me.

“Cute deflection, but what’s that got to do with you calling me clingy?” she asked, genuinely confused now.

“Seriously?” I scoffed.

“I’m genuinely asking,” she said, her tone softer but still firm. “‘Cause which is it? Am I all up on you, or am I not paying you no mind?”

“I don’t know!?” I snapped, throwing my hands up like the answer was supposed to fall out of the air.

She blinked at me. “What you mean youn know?”

I groaned, pacing like I was tryna outrun my own thoughts. “I said I don’t fucking—”

She grabbed me and pulled me in.

Her hands encircled around my forearms, her touch gentle but groundin’, and her eyes locked onto mine as she pulled me back into the moment, not letting me run my mouth into another mess.

“Take a second,” she said softly.

I glared at her like I wanted to resist, but I listened anyway.

I took a slow breath, letting it out just as quietly, but the words I’d been swallowing kept pushin’ their way up.

“I hate us not talking,” I said finally, my voice quieter. “I hate arguing with you. I hate the distance. I hate everything that…” I hesitated, the words catchin’ before I forced them out. “I hate everything that pulls me away from you…Aries”

Her expression eased up, this soft, vulnerable look settlin’ in like she was meeting me where I was without saying a word.

“Stop pushing me away then, Lo,” she said, just as soft. “If you tell me leave you alone, you know I’ma do it. I respect your boundaries.”

“Don’t listen to me!?” I huffed, frustration bubblin’ right back up, ’cause why the hell is she being logical right now? “Half the time Ion even know what I want!”

She shook her head with a quiet sigh, steppin’ a little closer again, gentler this time. Her hand came up, tuckin’ a piece of my hair behind my ear like she was handling something fragile.

“Tell me what you can, then.” she said.

I looked down, mumblin’ under my breath like I ain’t ’bout to be caught saying anything soft. “I want you close. You the only one I can really handle without feelin’ overwhelmed”

She leaned down slightly, a hum slippin’ from her like she caught it.

“What you say?” she smirked.

I rolled my eyes immediately, pushin’ her face away with my hand. “Move, idiot.”

But I couldn’t even stop the small smile that slipped through.

“Are we good now..?” I asked, side-eyeing her like she might switch up again just for fun, and she nodded, sliding her arm around my waist.

“I’ma need you to talk to me more,” she said, voice low, like she was making a calm, reasonable request and not asking me to rewrite my entire personality.

I groaned dramatically, throwin’ my head back like I was being asked to file taxes. “Can you do that for me?”

I paused in her hold, and I hate to admit it, but the rasp in her voice did sumn to me. My face warmed up real quick, like my body was outin’ me, and I quickly looked away, clearin’ my throat like that would magically fix it.

“Maybe…” I muttered, tryna sound uninterested and failing miserably.

She didn’t even let me get away with that. Her fingers hooked under my chin, turning my face back to hers like, don’t play with me, Londyn.

“Okay, yes,” I let out a small huff, giving in way too fast, ’cause every time she does that, it’s like my whole backbone just… disappears…

She let out a soft hum, that little sound she makes when she knows she’s got the upper hand, but she’s being sweet ’bout it

“Also?” she said, steppin’ back just enough to look me up and down like she was scanning a barcode. “What’re you wearing?”

My brows shot up immediately and I swatted her arm. “What?!? Is it bad??” I asked a lil’ too fast and loud.

She shook her head quickly. “No, you look gorgeous.”

Her eyes came back up to mine, steady, and I raised a brow.

“But..?”

“You usually wear darker clothes… and them little cropped jackets that be fightin’ for their life,” She said while waving her hand around all vague, like even she didn’t know what she was pointin’ at but hoped I’d just roll with it

I rolled my eyes.

“You look good though,” she added quickly.

I know, because somebody said they liked softer looks and glasses. And now suddenly I’m out here dressing like a Pinterest board for “soft girl aesthetic” when I don’t even like pastels like that.

It was tiring as hell. Embarrassing, even.

“Do you not like what I usually wear?” I asked, narrowing my eyes like she better answer carefully and correctly.

“No, I do?” she said, confused now, raisin’ a brow.

I pushed her lightly like, don’t make me feel weird about this. “Let’s go for a swim,” I said, already draggin’ her toward my room before I asked another question that exposed me.

She followed, quiet but amused, while I dug through my luggage like I was on a game show.

“Which one?” I held up a pink bikini and a black one, turnin’ to her like her opinion mattered way too much right now. Which it honestly did…

She didn’t even hesitate. “Black.”

I tossed both onto the bed immediately. “You would pick pink,” I huffed, crossin’ my arms.

She leaned against the wall, watchin’ me with that little look. “What’s with you and all these soft colors lately?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly, grabbing the pink one. “I’ll just wear the pink.”

She sighed like she saw right through me, and then she walked out to give me space to change, leaving me standing there on my own.

Now I don’t even know what I wanna wear anymore…

Five minutes later, I came outside. She was already laid back on a lounge chair, phone in one hand, blunt in the other.

“Pass it?” I asked, walking over and casually taking it from her lips.

She hummed, watchin’ me, eyes low.

And before I could overthink it, I reached out, gently holdin’ her face as I leaned in close enough that I could feel her breath. My lips parted slightly as she blew the smoke out, and I inhaled it.

I pulled back, taking a proper hit this time, my face all hot.

“The black looks good on you,” she rasped.

I let out a small laugh. “You high already, huh?”

She chuckled, and I took another hit before putting it out, because I already felt myself getting a little too relaxed for someone with trust issues.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. “Come on.”

She let me drag her to the pool without complaint and we slid in, the cool water wrapping around us, as she leaned back against the edge.

I swam over, poking her cheek because Ion know how to mind my business. “Is Essence your type?” I blurted.

She blinked, and I swear she sobered up mid-thought.

“She’s pretty, but no?” she said, lookin’ at me like she was confused where that came from.

My brows furrowed. “You said you like soft girls, glasses, and—”

She reached up, adjustin’ my glasses gently like she was handling something fragile. “Yeah, I do.”

We locked eyes, and I nodded like, exactly.

“Exactly, but—”

She laughed softly, and I pushed her shoulder. “So how the hell is she not your type??”

She leaned closer again, and I should’ve backed up. “I like pretty brown eyes too, Londyn,” she said, her voice low, her hand reaching up to slide my glasses off carefully. “A girl who’s straightforward… got a mouth on her… can’t keep her words to herself.”

She chuckled softly, cuppin’ my face, and I rolled my eyes like my heart wasn’t doing backflips.

“Sounds like a wonderful girl,” I said dryly.

She nodded, pulling me closer, and I stopped her, pressing my hands against her shoulders to keep a little space.

Because hollon??

You not ’bout to describe your type and be in my face like this. Pick a lane.

“So you got a crush on Imani?” I asked, narrowin’ my eyes.

Her face twisted immediately. “What?? No?? That—” she shook her head so hard I heard a crack. “Nooo.” She threw up an X with her hands like she was banning the idea from existence.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“So Whitney??”

Before I could even blink, she moved, trappin’ me between her and the edge of the pool, water shifting around us. “You’re really bad at guessing, Lo,” she said softly.

I mushed her face with my hand. “Well you ain’t know many girls that act like that.”

She hummed. “So think harder, mama.”

I slapped my hand over her mouth immediately. “Don’t—”

She laughed against my palm, the sound muffled, then gently pulled my hand away, her fingers lingering around my wrist.

She moved closer, her chest pressing lightly against mine as the water moved around us, slow and soft.

My breath hitched, and I looked away quick, like if I didn’t look at her then maybe , just maybe, my body would calm down and act like it got some sense. But it didn’t. ‘Cause my arms found their way around her neck anyway, like they had a mind of their own.

I caressed the nape of her neck, slow, soft…and her jaw clenched like I just hit a switch.

“What I tell you—” she started, low, already warnin’ me.

But obviously I don’t listen.

My nails grazed her neck softer this time, and she leaned down, real smooth, and her hand slid up to my neck like she been waiting on her turn.

My eyes widened instantly and I swatted her shoulder. “Uh-uh, don’t start—”

She pulled her hand back with a quiet laugh, like she enjoyed that reaction way too much, and I turned my face slightly, tryna act calm even though my stomach just did something real unnecessary.

“You real bold for that,” I muttered, my voice smaller than I wanted it to be.

She nodded like she agreed. “You too,” she said, tiltin’ her head with a smirk that made me want to fight her.

I rolled my eyes, but my hands slid back to the nape of her neck, testin’ her again, just a little…

“Oh, so you just playin’ games now?” she rasped, and her hand came right back up to my neck like she was returnin’ the favor.

I hummed, real soft, my bottom lip gettin’ caught between my teeth before I could stop it.

“You gonna guess or you want me to tell you?” she asked, quieter now.

I shook my head.

Because if she said a name right now, I’d ruin this whole… whatever this is. And I ain’t wanna ruin it. Not yet.

“I swear you’re something else,” she murmured, leanin’ down closer.

Our foreheads touched, soft, and everything slowed down real sudden. My lips parted without me telling them to, and her thumb came up, brushin’ against my bottom lip before gently dragging it down slow.

My breath suddenly hitched again, this time worse, and her lips parted too, just a little. I gently tightened my grip on the back of her neck, pulling her in without even thinkin’—

“What’re you two doing?”

My eyes snapped open, and I shoved Aries back so fast the water splashed between us.

“Nothing!?” I said way too quickly, grabbin’ my glasses and, climbin’ out the pool, water dripping everywhere.

My heart was beating like I just ran laps, my face hot, ears hotter, and I was halfway to the door before my brain finally caught up with me.

‘Stop pushing me away, Lo.’

I stopped. Turned back.

“Hey,” I called, my voice a little off, and she looked up at me.

“I’m not… ignoring you. Okay?” I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck like I wasn’t just about to risk it all five seconds ago. “Just… meet me back inside later.”

That was sumn…Right? Progress.

I grabbed my towel and dipped before my dignity could evaporate any further. Aries got out behind me.

“Were you about to kiss her?”

I froze mid-step, eyes closin’ like if I couldn’t see her, she couldn’t see me.

Oh my God.

On my way inside, I bumped straight into Imani, who stepped back.

“Why you look like you just ran a fuckin’ marathon?” she asked, lookin’ me up and down.

Before I could answer, Britney nudged her, eyes dartin’ behind me as Aries walked in, brushin’ past everybody like she needed space too.

“Ouu… y’all was in the pool together?” Imani teased.

I grabbed both of them by their arms and dragged them into the bedroom. I started pacing immediately, my face still hot, my brain doing cartwheels. “What’s Aries’s type?”

They both pointed at me at the exact same time.

“You.” They said flatly.

I blinked at them. “No.”

“No, she likes someone else,” I insisted, shaking my head. “I just don’t know who—”

“So then why’d it look like she was about to kiss you?”

I froze.

Imani and Britney gasped.

I slowly turned my head. “Essence… can you…” I inhaled deeply, tryna stay calm. “Mind the business that pays you?”

She scoffed, walking in and sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Wait, did she actually try to?” Britney turned to Essence, grinning way too hard for my likings.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with a groan. “I’m not having this conversation right now.”

Because I couldn’t. If I said it out loud, it became real. And Ion know what to do with that.

I stormed into the bathroom, shut the door, and took a long shower like the water was gonna wash away my embarrassment, then I did my self-care routine.

By the time I got dressed, I had on a black crop-top, grey sweatpants, and a zip-up hoodie.

Talking about what happened? Yeah, that got pushed way to the back once the munchies hit both me and Aries like a truck. We ate, chilled with the group, and laughed a little.

I kept stealin’ glances at her though, long ones, tryna piece together what the hell happened outside.

But every time our eyes almost met? I looked away. Real quick at that.

Luckily enough by the time the night settled, I was too tired to even unpack it.

Aries yawned, stretchin’ as she stood. “I’ma nap, lowkey.”

I stood up immediately. Too fast. “Uhm, me too.”

Essence started to get up too and I grabbed Aries’ wrist quick, redirectin’. “We going to my room.”

“You said you’d stay with me,” I reminded her, not even lookin’ back.

She hummed, followin’ behind me without argument, and once we got in, she tossed herself onto the bed like she owned it.

I climbed in right after her, curlin’ into her side without hesitation, like I ain’t been acting weird about her all day. I stuffed my head up under her shirt and popped out through the neck hole.

“Lo, what is you—”

I didn’t even let her finish. My eyes closed instantly, body finally giving up on me, and I knocked out faster than I ever have before.