Chapter 25

Hi, I have an appointment for two” Myda smiled as she approached the front desk of the salon, “Myda and Sasha”

The woman searched the book for the mother and daughter duo, and after confirming their spots she pointed to the sign in sheet.

“Okay, just sign in and you guys will be up shortly”

Myda did as the woman said and scribbled her signature in the book for both her and Sasha. Sasha lagged behind, too busy in her phone as her and Lux texted back and forth.

Besides the fact that the two hadn’t texted in a while and she was definitely enjoying it, Sasha would’ve put her attention anywhere else than the salon as it was the last place she wanted to be. She knew her mom would be too busy trying to convince her to get something traditionally girly other than a simple press – no curl, than actually enjoying mother daughter time like she suggested.

The simple hairstyle was all Sasha requested when the two would go years ago, and more than likely would do the same within the next few moments when asked what style would she like.

“Sasha, your eyes have been glue to your phone since this morning. Don’t you and your brothers eyes ever start hurting?” Myda laughed to herself as she took a seat in the waiting area.

“Has not, I blinked a couple times” Sasha remarked jokingly, deciding to actually put the phone away while she waited for Lux’s response.

She watched as her mother retrieved her reading glasses from her purse so she could actually see the pictures in the hair magazine, and started flipping through for inspiration.

At the moment she wore her hair in a bun just as Sasha, however it was much neater with a bang that hung above her glasses. Although the two wore similar hairstyles they looked nothing alike, and Sasha always told herself she wouldn’t be surprised if she was actually adopted because she didn’t look like either of her parents.

Taking her out of her thoughts Sasha felt the vibration of her phone, telling her that Lux responded to her last text. However once she retrieved her phone she realized it was Roxy instead, her teammate from basketball who wanted to know was she still attending their undefeated celebration later that day. Sasha totally forgot about agreeing to it, and twisted her mouth as between her mother and her teammates she wouldn’t be able to spend any time with Lux.

Still, she hated being the type to cancel and told herself she would make it work.

As she started to text Roxy back, her mother gasped loudly and grabbed her shoulder roughly.

“Oh em gee, this would look sooo cute on you” Myda exclaimed at the curly hairstyle.

Sasha furrowed her brows, at both the hairstyle and the fact that her mother just used the fraise “omg”.

“Don’t make that face Sasha” her mom rolled her eyes, “For once, get something other than
straight…or that” she said pointing to Sasha’s messy hairstyle.

“Okay…how about” Sasha twisted her mouth as she flipped through the pages, “You get that, and I’ll get the hairstyle you want me to get. Deal?”

Sasha pointed to the most nonconservative hairstyle she could find, and knew her mother would reject the idea immediately. She was surprised when Myda thought of it for only for a second only to pop her head up and agree to take on the challenge

“Fine, but you can’t back out” Myda smirked.

Sasha wanted to take back the deal, but knew in book of Lux that was a forbidden rule. She kept her eye roll to herself, and smiled uneasily as she confirmed that she wouldn’t back out. Myda nodded, and just in time the stylists who would be doing her hair called her over.

Sasha watched anxiously, wondering if her mother was really going to go through with the dare as she took her seat in the salon chair. She was almost sure she would back out the last minute, but again was proven wrong when Myda pointed towards the hairstyle in the book.

Sasha was stunned, because as long as she knew her mother – which obviously was her whole life, she never witnessed her throw caution to the wind. She always did things the exact same way – from the style she wore her hair to her choice of outfits for the week, plaid on Wednesdays and dresses on Sundays if Sasha could remember correctly. She was the epitome of a routine queen, and Sasha hoped she would never become that predictable in her adult life.

However she had to admit, seeing her mother’s nervous but wide smile as she talked back and forth with the hairstylist – making faces in the mirror while she tried to picture herself with the short cut, was actually nice. Sasha wasn’t sure when the last time she saw her mother genuinely smile, especially at herself.

Sasha knew a lot of that had to do with her fathers doing, and it was safe to say she would never understand her parents relationship. Why did her mother continue to be with someone who clearly didn’t make her happy? Especially when she could just walk away. Or so she thought it was that easy.

The more she reflected about her parents marriage she began to think of her own relationship with Lux but before she could get too deep into her head, the next stylist called her over.

“Ooh girly, look at all that hair” the woman exclaimed.

Sasha chuckled as she took a seat, “I know, it’s a mess too”

“It’s beautiful. I’m Armani, what’s your name little mama?”

“Sasha” she answered, looking up at the attractive woman.

Her hair was done perfectly, from the dark brown color to the effortless curls that framed her face. Her disposition was friendly, however if Sasha was the type to judge a book by it’s cover she would assume she was a snob because everything about her read money.

For one, as far as Sasha could tell the woman owned the luxury salon that was ironically named Armani’s. She couldn’t be a day over twenty five, and the fact that she owned the large establishment at such a young age was amazing to Sasha. A woman with her own money, that’s the future she wanted. Not depending on a partner, rather male nor female – like her mother had done.

“Okay now” Armani giggled, “That was my favorite bratz doll growing up”

Sasha laughed, and surprisingly the stylist wasn’t the first to make the connection.

“So, what are we doing today?” Armani asked, running her hair through Sasha’s fro.

Sasha regretfully flipped through the hair magazine, stopping at page twenty. She frowned as she looked at the curls that reminded her of a poodles, and knew it would take days for them to drop so she would definitely be wearing them to school on Monday.

“Umm, number forty” Sasha muttered.

Armani furrowed her brows, “You sure? You don’t sound too sure” she giggled as she took a look at the hairstyle.

The woman was big on reading people, and just by Sasha’s defeated look she could tell she didn’t like her choice.

As the stylist waited for her  response, Sasha was too busy battling with herself in her head. While she did make a bet with her mom, a big part of her didn’t want to get the hairstyle because she simply wasn’t comfortable with it. It wasn’t her, and getting it would only give her mother false hope that she would one day be the daughter she always wanted. But Sasha would never be that girl.

Sasha was glad to see that Myda suddenly began relocating to the second floor of the salon to sit underneath the dryers, giving her the ability to really express what she wanted to.

“Actually, I’m not sure” Sasha let out a breath, “I made a deal with my mom I would get this hairstyle if she got one that I chose. But I know she only agreed because she really wants me to be…I don’t know….girly” Sasha shrugged.

Armani’s eyes grew wide with pity at the young girl, whose head was down as she was seriously conflicted with her decision.

“Well, let’s see if we can find something else for you that you like” Armani said jumping into action and flipping through the book, “How do you usually wear it?”

“I mean, it’s naturally curly on its own” Sasha nodded, “So that, or straight. That’s it. I wouldn’t mind something new, just not that”

The stylist nodded with a slight chuckle, and as she continued flipping through the magazine for selections Sasha made sure to check out each one. At first she didn’t see anything she liked and began to believe maybe she was just destined to be split between two hairstyles her entire life; That was until Armani flipped the page once more and Sasha’s eyes lit up at the picture on the page.

“Braids, okay I can see that” Armani nodded once Sasha gestured to them, “I already have a vision. Sit back”

Sasha smiled satisfied, and while she knew her mother would most likely be upset she decided to stay true to herself. She hadn’t completely taken control of that mentality, but this was a start.

“So, tell me about your self Sasha. How old are you?”

“Seventeen” Sasha answered, “Eighteen in two months”

“Aquarius?” Armani raised her brow.

“Pisces” Sasha smirked.

“Mhhh, you guys are hopeless romantics”

“Really? Didn’t know that but I now that I think about it…” Sasha chuckled as her mind wandered yet again to Lux.

It was true that ever since she got that first feeling of love she was hooked, and there wasn’t a day that she missed everything about being in a relationship. It was weird, because months ago she had no clue what it felt like nor did she have any feelings towards being in one or not. Fast forward to the present time, and she was putting up the fight of her life for the love of her life.

“Are you into anything at school?” Armani asked as she parted Sasha’s hair into sections in order to detangle it.

“Basketball” Sasha replied, “I’m on the Varsity team”

“That’s exciting” the woman smiled, “I use to cheer in high school”

“Really? My girlfr~” Sasha stopped herself, “My friend I mean…she’s on the cheerleading team”

Armani gave the young girl a suspicious look as she nervously corrected herself, and as someone with a gay best friend she now felt like she could stereotypically spot any sexuality from being around his multiple of friends. She definitely wasn’t judging her, instead she was crying out for her because it was very clear the young girl was having identity issues.

Letting it slide off her back, Armani smiled and kept the conversation going as she finished the clients hair. Surprisingly Sasha felt like she could tell the woman anything, and it was admittedly nice to be able to tell her problems to someone who didn’t know her and couldn’t judge – adult or not. Armani listened intensely through the entire process, and giggled here and there at Sasha’s small jokes about some of her mini crisis.

“Alrightttt” Armani exclaimed, running the moose through the braids to keep them fresh, “We’re done”

She turned the chair around to the mirror so Sasha could see the finished product. Armani was glad to see the client’s smile to reach from ear to ear at the hairstyle, and she had to admit she did her thing on the multi design plaits.

“I love it” Sasha beamed.

“Good” Armani smiled, “And by the way, you should do everything in life that you love. Never let anyone take that away from you, got it?”

The woman raised her brow sternly just like a mother would and Sasha nodded, “Got it”

“Your mom is going to love it, because she loves you”

Sasha’s twisted her mouth, and while it sounded nice most likely that wasn’t how things would go. If she knew her mother, she would throw a fit and preach about how Sasha needed to try more things that would accentuate her beauty, not take away from it.

Still, Sasha hung onto hope that Myda would surprise her just like she had done earlier with a quick change of the status quo. Maybe it was a start of a good part of their relationship, change. She sure hoped so.

” What up” Quan nodded his head towards the group of men sitting on the steps of the project house. He extended his hand, inviting in those he knew for some dap.

“What’s goin on scrap?” Miles asked, making room so he could slide through.

“Same shit, where Lu at?”

“He’s in there” Miles gestured towards the door.

Quan nodded and headed straight in. He was already aware that Lu wanted to talk to him specifically, so he didn’t hesitate to make his way to the kitchen of the ran down home. Lu sat at the kitchen table, his head down and focused as he broke up the white with his razor blade.

“What up young” He greeted Quan without even looking up.

“Nigga how do you always do that?” Quan chuckled, pulling the plastic chair out and taking a seat, “And nothing, I’m chillin. You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, I’m moving you from the dale” Lu replied, “I need you at a new spot”

“Where?”

“K&A”

“Zombie land, oh hell no” Quan laughed at the mention of the drug filled neighborhood, “You playing”

“Nigga when do you know me to play?” Lu asked, finally giving Quan his full attention,

Quan’s smile faded, becoming as somber as Lucious’ and he now knew the man was serious.

“Alright so when?” He shrugged.

“Today, Miles can drop you off. Here”

Lu reached behind him, and Quan recognized the familiar black book bag that was now refilled with his ‘work essentials’. He threw it over his shoulder, and waited to see if Lucious had anymore to say.

As always he just went back to his work, his hands picking up from where they left off. Quan knew that meant he was dismissed, so he ended the exchange with that and headed back out to the porch.

To his surprise, there was an addition to the crowd surrounding the house. Quan’s eyebrows pressed against each other, and the sight of Shamira caused him to roll his eyes.

For once he was actually the one avoiding her, and it seemed as though she finally conjured up the least bit of her feelings to care.

“You ready to go Miles?” Quan asked, ignoring her presence.

“Oh so this nigga is blind” Shamira retorted, “How ya’ll give the work to this nigga?”

A few of the guys snickered, including Miles who still hadn’t stood up from the step. Quan clinched his jaw, but kept his composure as he waited for the cease of laughter.

“I ain’t blind” Quan shrugged, “I see you. I just don’t particularly care”

“Don’t be like that man, go talk to your girl. I’ll wait” Miles insisted.

The last thing Quan wanted to do was talk to Shamira; There were multiple reasons why and at the moment he couldn’t pin point which one to be mad about.

The biggest one being after his father stole his savings, and since he was cleaned out he wasn’t able to afford the bag that Shamira asked for. It was safe to say she didn’t like that one bit, and like always she ignored all of his calls and texts only to come around once she needed something once more. However Quan was now up on game, and refused to be the pawn to her game any longer.

“You got two minutes” Quan said leaning up against Miles’s car.

“I’m over this little attitude, Q. I really am” Shamira sighed, her hands folding over one another, “I’ve been trying to get in contact with you. I need… some money”

“What else is new?” Q scoffed, “I don’t have it. Actually, I do have it. But not for you”

“Oh so you have it for someone else? Who is it?”

“Why? It’s not like you care. You ain’t want to kick it with me so I found someone else who did”

Quan was well aware that he was bluffing, as he honestly didn’t have time to date since all he cared about now and days were the corners. Plus, he obviously had bad choice in women. With that he decided to just take a break from it all.

Shamira on the other hand wasn’t done with him just yet, and just looking over Q she could tell he didn’t feel the same. Usually he would suck up his attitude and be back biting at her tail in no time, but this time was different. And she knew exactly what it was.

In only four months had he gone from dingy – a little seventeen year old boy with a bad line up and sneakers from the closest discount store to a dope boy, the cheapest thing on him now probably being just his socks and even those were name Brand. With his clothes, went his attitude, and while his change wasn’t necessarily a bad thing it was for Shamira and her manipulative ways.

Seeing it wouldn’t work this time, she quickly changed her approach.

“I know that I can be…difficult sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I want to break up like permanently. So can you just, get rid of whoever and we can hang out later?” She shrugged.

Quan sized her up, and although he wanted to say no he began to think with the wrong head. Shamira wasn’t looking too bad either, her new auburn hair color meshing well with her brown skin. In efforts to keep warm from the bitter weather she wore a black peacoat, the pleated skirt giving it a girly flare. Quan smirked, his single dimple in his full cheeks caving in.

His baby face was much more prominent whenever he got a fresh haircut, and Shamira could tell as it looked like he just hopped out of the chair. She bit onto her bottom lip as he stared at her in contemplation.

“I’m cool, but thanks” he finally replied, snatching the smirk off of her face.

If his father taught him one thing, it was when a person shows you who they are, believe them.

“Seriously?” Shamira fumed, “Q ~”

“I gotta go, business is waiting” Quan said as he began to walk away, “But it was nice seeing you”

He turned on the heel of his boots, next gesturing for Miles to come along. He definitely wasn’t in a rush to go to zombie land, however anywhere away from Shamira would be suffice. With the bookbag clung to his shoulder closely, he hopped into the passenger seat of the hooptie. He watched as Shamira glared at him from the other side of the window, and he knew it was because for once in her life she wasn’t getting what she wanted. Which wasn’t exactly him, but more so what came with him. And unlike his father he wouldn’t bribe a woman for her love, not anymore anyway.

“So, ya’ll cool now or what?” Miles asked taking Quan out of his thoughts.

“Or what” he snickered.

“Damn sorry to hear that, ya’ll been kickin it for a min.”

“Yeah well min over” Quan raised his shoulders, “I’m worrying about money…that’s it”

“Yeah but every nigga need pussy too…unless they don’t like it” Miles chuckled, “You know what you need…an older woman. They know how to take care of a nigga foreal”

Quan just shook his head and laughed at the boy who was only a few years older than him. He was right, he did have needs just like all men; But at the moment that wasn’t on his mind.

“So…did you ever take care of that business you was supposed to?” Miles asked changing the subject.

“Not yet” Quan answered.

“Nigga what you waitin on? The sooner you use that shit the better, no telling how many bodies on that”

Quan knew taking a shared gun that was rotated throughout the trap house was risky, and as a favor Lu allowed him to take it until his business was handled. However after weeks Quan still hadn’t even created a plan to take on what he wanted to, and if he had to be honest he wasn’t even sure if it was worth it anymore.

“I know, I know” Quan nodded, “Lu said to just dump it afterwards. I got held up, but I’ll get it done”

Miles returned the nod, next pulling up to the intersection where Quan was set to get dropped off.

“Alright man, call me if you need a ride back”

“I will” Quan gave his friend a handshake.

He turned away, his eyes making sure to check his surroundings of his new spot. He wasn’t sure what was to come out of the drug infested neighborhood, but wherever Lu said to go he had to. It was his only way out.

“Oh I love it, I really do” Myda exclaimed as she checked herself out in the salon mirror.

The short haircut was the first spontaneous thing she had done since her younger years, and she actually was thankful that she brought Sasha along or else she would’ve just gotten the same old hairstyle as always.

The pixie cut framed her face perfectly, taking off at least ten years. Myda couldn’t stop admiring herself in the mirror, up until the receptionist finally snapped her out of her trance.

“Okay ma’am, I have the bill whenever you’re ready” she smiled politely.

“Oh sorry” Myda laughed a bit embarrassed, “How much is it?”

She began to dig into her purse for her wallet, and as she did so the receptionist looked over the bill to double check the price.

“One hundred and fourty” the woman informed her.

“One what?” Myda shot back, “Oh there must be some mistake”

Myda picked up the receipt, and furrowed her brows at the charges. Just as she thought, her choice of qstyle was only fifty, however Sasha’s came up to ninety dollars and she could’ve swore the hairstyle they picked out was only thirty.

She threw her neck around the shop as she looked for her daughter.

“Hey mom” Sasha voice came from behind her. K

Myda turned her head one last time, only to be both extremely surprised and taken back by what she saw.

“Do you like it?” Sasha beamed, running her hands over the cornrows. Sasha was so into herself she didn’t see her mom burning her with her eyes.

“I know it’s not what you asked me to get, but….”

“But you went behind my back and did it anyway” her mother finished her sentence, “And to answer your question, no I don’t like it. It makes you look like a little boy, but I’m guessing that what you wanted”

Sasha’s forehead creased as she turned back to her mother, and while one half wanted to compliment her on her new hairstyle the other half wanted to lay her out in the middle of the salon floor. It wasn’t her words that hurt so much, but more so the look of disgust she was giving her.

“No, I wanted something I would like” Sasha put the emphasis on I.

“We made a deal, I got what you picked out. You ruined a nice moment Sasha ~”

“Oh yeah, it’s the moment you’re worried about” Sasha rolled her eyes, “Get real. The only reason you even took the deal serious was because I would get some remotely close to what you wanted”

Sasha’s voice was a little louder than Myda wanted her to be, warranting a few judgmental looks from the women in the waiting area.

“Well I’m not paying for it, how about I get real about that” Myda whispered harshly, next turning to the receptionist, “Just the haircut please. You can split the bill”

Overhearing the entire conversation, the receptionist looked at the woman like she was crazy.

“Ma’am, I don’t mean to get in your business”

“Then don’t” Myda smiled with closed teeth, “Charge my card for the fifty only”

“Mom, seriously?” Sasha asked, still baffled.

She knew her mother would be mad, but not that mad. And each moment passed she was feeling more embarrassed by her behavior.

“Yes, seriously. I thought this could be something nice, a mother and daughter bonding moment and you turned it into something about you” Myda replied.

As she turned to talk to Sasha, she didn’t realize the receptionist leave from her post to grab the owner.

“You mean you turned it into something about you” Sasha hissed.

“Is there a problem here?” Armani asked, strutting over to the two, “Something about your bill?”

“No problem. I just asked the woman at the front to split the bill between me and … this young lady right here” Myda slit her eyes at Sasha, “Tried to do a nice thing, but it didn’t work out. So I’ll be paying my own way”

Armani half scoffed, half laughed and Myda looked at the woman in shock.

She looked over to Sasha’s whose eyes were overfilled with tears, and while she hadn’t let them go yet they were definitely coming.

The smile that was etched across her face in the salon chair was once gone, and Armani felt bad because she knew she was the one who pushed the young girl to get something different than what her mother wanted her to. Still, she didn’t regret it.

“You mean your daughter?” Armani corrected the woman, “That you’re embarrassing, because you wanted to give her a hairstyle for a forty year old”

“Excuse me?” Myda retorted, “Is that how you talk to a paying customer”

“Well from what I hear, you’re refusing to pay”
Armani smirked, “I don’t split bills. So next time you put her on the bill you pay. This time, it’s free for you Sasha”

Armani was happy to see at least half of Sasha’s smile returned, and she nodded with a small thank you.

“Any time. When you want to get them freshened up just come to me lil mama, I got you” she gave her a wink, and with that went back to her business.

“Here you go ma’am, just fifty charged” the receptionist smirked, handing Myda back her card.

Myda snatched the card back, earning even more stares as she stomped out of the otherwise serene and luxurious environment. Sasha followed behind, and while she was glad the owner was on her side she couldn’t exactly go home with the nice lady.

Instead she had to return with the wicked witch from the fifties.

“I’m sorry that I broke the deal” Sasha apologized once they reached the car, “You went through with it, so I should’ve too. But apart of me really felt like you just wanted me to get it so I could…I don’t know….”

“Be a girl? Like how you were born” Myda answered, “I’ve put up with this…boyish fetish all your life Sasha. And I get it, you have four brothers so it’s not easy ~”

“But you don’t get it, it has nothing to do with them” Sasha explained, “I am a girl mom. Trust me, I’m reminded the beginning of every month. I’m just not your stereotypical version of what a girl is supposed to be”

“What does that even mean Sasha?” Myda fussed, “What girl doesn’t want to get her hair done with her mom, or go to the nailery. Or who doesn’t want her mom to see her do cheerleading, for God’s sake you don’t want me coming to any of the games.”

“Because I’m not that good at it” Sasha lied due to the fact she wasn’t even on the team, “That’s not the point mom. I did it because I couldn’t play ball, because you and dad told me I couldn’t. You see, I always have to do what you want me to”

The two battled looks from both sides of the car, the keys still in Myda’s hands as her and Sasha went back and forth. And as much as she wanted to understand her daughter, she didn’t. Not even an ounce. All her life she wanted a daughter, only to be given five sons instead. Sasha refused to open up to anything that was even the slightest bit of feminine, and Myda didn’t know where she went wrong.

“I’m really good at it, Mom” Sasha figured she would continue while she had her mother’s attention, “I mean, coach said it’s still room on the team if I wanted to join. I would like if you came to see me play ~”

“So I can watch you play that lil boys game but not cheerleading?” Myda scoffed, “No thanks”

Again Sasha felt the familiar burn in her throat, but these times they weren’t sad tears. More like frustrated.

“God, what is wrong with you” Sasha squinted her eyes at her mother.

“What’s wrong with me?” Myda pointed to herself, “I’m not the one who will do anything to make sure they don’t have a relationship with their mother ~”

“Because I don’t want a relationship with you!” Sasha shouted back, as loud as she meant to.

Myda gulped, and while she looked disappointed and crushed by her daughters words Sasha didn’t care.

“I never have” Sasha continued, “You don’t love me, or care about me. None of us. The only thing you care about is Dad, because when he’s around then you don’t feel so fucked up about who you really are because you can blame it on him. It’s too bad you’re just like him….actually you’re worse”

Sasha turned away from the car, deciding she actually wouldn’t be returning with her. If anything, she would run as far as she could to be away from parents. For once she didn’t feel that way about her brothers, Quan specifically and she knew if anyone was down with running away it would be him. After all these years it was like their twin telepathy finally worked, and she hoped wherever he would know she needed him.

As she continued to walk away from the car, Myda called out for her to come back. And even then Sasha knew it wasn’t because she loved her, but more like she belonged to her. But not anymore.