Chapter 24

“Fifteen hundred, all in a day’s work” Quan smiled, smelling the dirty cash as he ran it underneath his nostrils.

“Yeah just don’t forget my cut” Miles jokingly slit his eyes at Quan, “And the money to reup”

“Yeah yeah I know” he said beginning to split the money up, “Still, we did good. This shit is much better than selling weed”

“I told you man. How you think I’ve been on my own for so long? I left mom dukes at 17, ain’t look back since” Miles smirked proudly, sitting back into the futon.

“For real?” Quan asked, intrigued by the man’s words.

Living alone was something Quan definitely craved after turning on his parents and while at first he had dreams of rescuing his mother he no longer had that desire after what she did to him. It was clear where she stood, destined to always choose her husband over her kids no matter the disrespect he continued to show them all.

The fact that instead of loving them, he controlled them. He fed off of their fear and obedience, and Quan would no longer stand for it.

He would’ve never guessed that he would began to sell drugs and give up on his sport dreams, and what first was supposed to be just a plan to get some new clothes it had turned into a way of life he actually enjoyed. Quan liked the fast money, the street respect, and the fact that for once girls actually looked his way first.

He knew there was risks coming with what he did as well, but just like his sister he was becoming engulfed in his new environment in the city they were now loving to call home.

“Real rap” Miles replied, beginning to pull a backwood out his pocket, “Got my bread up and got out of there. Why, ya folks getting on ya nerves?”

“Hell yeah…my pops mostly” Quan shook his head, “He’s a dickhead and my mom just loves it or some shit”

Miles laughed as he unraveled the leaf, “I doubt if she loves it, bro. But you know moms, always puttin up wit niggas for the kids”

“Well if she’s doing the shit for us I have some bad news for her” Quan snickered.

Miles gestured the weed once it was rolled and Quan rejected it as he stood up.

“Can’t, my sister’s game starts in a half” Quan said throwing the bag over his shoulder.

“Oh yeah, what does she play?” Miles asked.

“Basketball. Crazy thing is, she’s actually sick at it.
This is their third game this season, figured I’d check her out”

Quan smirked to himself as he thought about Sasha, and it was weird because although they were twins the two never had a relationship until recently. It was like the hate of their father banded them together, and while at first Quan was a little salty about Sasha’s new life, after creating his own he no longer felt the need to be envious.

Also, he felt like since his father was the biggest asshole of them all there was no need to be a miniature version of him, as he brought enough pain just by himself.

“That’s wassup, tell her I said good luck” Miles told him as the two exchanged dap.

Quan nodded, and headed out of the trap house to go about the rest of his day. There was a home game at Fels for the girl’s team, so Quan put a pep in his step when it came to hurrying home and dropping off his things.

The aroma of dinner danced around, and his three younger brothers sat in the living room watching tv while his mother worked her way around the kitchen. He went straight up to his room without making himself known, and going to his secret spot he closed himself in the walk in closet.

Quan lifted the carpet in the corner that was precisely cut closely to the edge to look as if was still laying perfectly, next revealing the crack in the wooden floor that he hid both his money and the work he had been given from Lu.

After the major loss he took when his dad left him with almost nothing, he told himself that would never happen again. And while he hadn’t retaliated yet, there was definitely nights where he laid awake and thought about it. He started to think of that very thing the moment he came across the gloc that was also stashed in the floor, and picking it up he glared at it for a long second.

“Hey Quan, I need you to ~”

“Hold up, give me a second” Quan shouted out of the closet, a little startled as he quickly placed the gun back in its spot. He didn’t know what his mother wanted, but he did know his parents didn’t believe in privacy so he hurriedly finished what he was doing before she barged her way in.

“Yeah, what do you need?” He asked in a pant, finally making his way out of the closet.

“I need you, to one clean up in here. Two, watch the kids while I go make a run” Myda said looking around the junky room.

“Can’t” Quan shook his head, “I’m going to watch Sasha”

“While I’m glad you’re supporting your sister, I need you to watch them. There will be many other games” his mother flagged and began to turn away.

“You’re right…but I’m going to this one. Can’t Dad watch them? I thought he was working from home now”

Myda stopped in her tracks, and Quan could easily read her expression and mood change.

“He’s out” she answered with a closed smile.

Quan smirked deviously, and just laughed to himself. Myda scrunched her brows, however Quan continued to get ready for the game as he changed his shirt and threw on a different pair of sneakers. Sneakers that looked very expensive, and Myda didn’t remember buying them for him.

In fact, she didn’t recognize a lot of things in her son’s room now that she actually paid attention to it for the first time in months, and it was clear that whatever he was doing was causing him to change too.

“Daquan is there something you would like to tell me?” She asked with a spiked brow.

Quan shrugged, “Don’t go looking for whatever you’re not ready to find?”

He moved past his mother, and she looked at the back of his head dumbfounded.

“Excuse me?”

“You know…when you finally catch Dad with that other woman. If you’re not ready to accept it, then just don’t go out of your way looking for it. That is what you were doing right, going to look for him like you do whenever he doesn’t show up?” Quan curled his lip devilishly.

Myda didn’t know what to say, and it was clear that she was embarrassed that her son knew her marital problems. She raised her hand to strike him, but he moved out of the way just in time. Quan half scoffed, half laughed as he wasn’t surprised at her behavior, and just shook his head.

“Go find your own baby sitter. And stay out of my room”

With that he hurried down the steps, and the only thing on his mind was getting to the game to see his sister. He knew his mother was shocked by his recent behavior, but he didn’t know why. She was the reason he no longer had hope for a mended family, and as far as he was concerned she could go to hell right along with Joseph. He would be eighteen in no time, and once he was gone he would never look back.

Sasha breezed down the court, one leg moving effortlessly in front of the other as she had one thing in her vision, the hoop. The bleachers were packed, and she could feel the eyes on her as both her friends and coach waited for her to do what she was good at.

No one could catch her even if they wanted to, and with a quick cross over she passed by her opponent and made the shot perfectly.

She kissed the small necklace she wore underneath her jersey for luck, and kept her focus in the game as the ball was now in the other teams hold.

As she jogged to the other side of the court she couldn’t help but to glance at the cheerleaders who were on the sideline, Lux in particular as she looked adorable in the white and black set with her hair in a half up half down ponytail. Silver bows adorned the hairstyle, and her makeup synced with the other girls who wore glitter on their eyes to look even more festive for the packed game.

Lux was so into the cheer she didn’t see Sasha staring, and even though the two had been broken up for officially a month now Sasha couldn’t help it.

“Sasha, pay attention” Roxy shouted, snapping Sasha out her daze in just enough time to grab the ball coming her way.

That was definitely a close one, causing her to shake off her startled nerves and dive back into the game. The clock was counting down and the score was neck and neck with the Northeast high school girl’s team.
A timeout was called, and Sasha was relieved as she could use a swig of water.

“Alright, theres only a few seconds left on that clock. Control it. Sasha make sure you’re open for when Roxy is coming up the court, you girls ready?”

Everyone in the team nodded and once the whistle blew they disbanded back onto the court. Sasha kept her attention on the game, as she couldn’t choose now to drop the ball, both literally and figuratively. Just as the play called for, Sasha ran down the court and awaited for Roxy’s steal, next making sure she was open to accept the ball.

As the buzzer went off, Sasha’s shot the winning three pointer and causing the team to jump in celebration.

And while she was definitely happy for the victory, the only thing that would make the moment better is if she could lift Lux into her arms and kiss her in pure joy. Instead she would have to settle for a shared look between the two, Lux’s smile as she waved from the side line only making the moment more bitter than sweet.

“Mannnn, three in a row!” One of the girls exclaimed once they were all in the locker room, “We’re on a roll”

“Don’t jinx it now! Besides, me and Sasha the one putting up all the points” Roxy bragged, putting her hand out for Sasha to dap her up.

“Ugh, sore winners. We all worked as a team” Kristy, another girl chimed in and Sasha agreed.

“We did, good game out there” she said grabbing her bag without even bothering to change.

Now that the game was over she just wanted to catch up with her friends, and hopefully Lux too.

“I say we celebrate. Tomorrow night, my place. What do you say Swedenburg?” Roxy asked, “Everyone’s invited”

The team began to chatter excitedly, leaving Sasha as the only one with no response.

“Sure, just text me the address” she shrugged.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hang with the her teammates outside of basketball, because if she had to be honest they were cool girls but she didn’t really click with them. However she was big on being a team player, so she agreed on the get together; Apart of her knew if her dad was home she wouldn’t be going anyway, so she had a fifty fifty chance. It was definitely harder to hang out now that he was back around, and that was why she was taking advantage of the extra time the games rewarded her with to hang with friends.

“Ayyyy, there she is. The muthafuckin beast, I’m tellin ya’ll” Zay beamed at an approaching Sasha.

She smiled, and accepted all of their accolades.
“Thanks, thanks” she laughed bashfully, “What’s going on tonight. Party at Zay’s?”

“I wish” Zay twisted his mouth, “My pops is home for once and he wants me home soon”

“Damn” Sasha hung her head, “What about you B?”

“Same, bro. But, great game. Ya’ll keep playing like this and ya’ll might actually have a chance at the championship” B said tapping her in the arm.

Sasha smirked disappointingly, and figured that actually meant she would have to return home after the game. That also meant she might as well change now too, or else she would be revealing the fact that she actually wasn’t a cheerleader; A lie her mother still surprisingly believed.

“Hey, Sash”

Hearing a familiar voice, Sasha turned to only be surprised by the sight of her brother.

“Hey, Quan?” She chuckled awkward and, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you” he smiled, “You kilt it. Really”

“Thanks. I didn’t even know you were coming” she said as they started to walk out of the gym with everyone else.

“I figured why not. I kept hearing your name at school, thought I’d see what you were working with”

Quan playfully nudged her in the arm, and Sasha did the same to him. The siblings shared a laugh, and Sasha had to admit it was a pleasant surprise to see her twin.

“So, pizza on me?” Quan shrugged, “Dough boys is still open”

“Sure” Sasha did the same.

Quan nodded and followed behind his sister out of the gym. As he assumed the pizza store was still open and Quan paid for two slices and a large soda afterward sliding into the booth with Sasha.

“I never got to ask this” Sasha said as she took a bite into the over sized slice, “But why’d you quit football?”

“I don’t know” Quan replied honestly, “I just didn’t want to do it anymore….so I stopped”

“It’s that easy?” Sasha laughed, “Must be nice”

“It was really what Dad wanted, and I don’t know about you but I don’t want to do anything he wants me to do”

Sasha sat her pizza down, and wiping her hands she looked over her brother.

“I get that” she finally responded, “But you know, we only have 95 days until we graduate. After that, we’re free” Sasha smirked.

“Sasha, are you really that gullible?” Quan scoffed, “You don’t just go off to college and never see your parents again. If you don’t get enough financial aid that means they have to pay for it, and where do you think you’ll go between breaks? Home“

Sasha bit down on her lip in thought, it pained her to say her brother was right. She had been so caught up in the idea of going on campus miles away she didn’t think about her home life, and that if she was unable to provide for herself fully her parents would have to step in and ultimately still control her life.

“Shit, I guess I better get a job” she chuckled.

Quan laughed, shaking his head at his sister, “Yeah, you should. Ever since I got one, I can buy whatever I want and never have to ask those two”

“That sounds awesome” Sasha nodded, “But like…aren’t you scared of getting caught?” She asked in a whispered tone.

Quan poked the inside of his cheek at the question, next squinting his eyes with a short gaze out of the huge window beside them.

“Sometimes…but it’s worth it. I’m making way more than I would at Walmart or some shit” he shrugged as he finished his sentence by stuffing his mouth with the rest of the slice.

“How supportive, Walmart was my first choice” Sasha half-joked.

“Sorry” Quan snickered, “I’m just talking shit. Money is money, and our birthday is in like two months. Once we’re eighteen, we never have to listen to them again. By law”

Sasha took in everything her brother was saying, his words only making her feel as if she wasnn’t ready for the world without her parents. It was three months into the school year, and with no job Sasha was still living off a small allowance her mother gave her for watching the kids or cleaning the house.

How could she afford to move out? She wasn’t a drug dealer like Quan, more like a girl destined to live with her parents forever hiding her love for basketball and girls, one in particular.

“You’re right…guess I better start looking” Sasha sighed.

Quan thought for a quick second and dug into his pocket, and pulled back a few large bills.

“Here, call it the start of your savings”

Sasha’s eyes widened as her brother handed her the money. Five hundred total in a few fifties and hundreds, and it was the most money she ever obtained in her life.

“Seriously? You’re not going to black mail me or some shit like that are you?” Sasha raised her brow.

Quan doubled over in laughter, “Nah, we’re good. No more of that”

Sasha smiled, and looking at the money she honestly couldn’t find the words to say.

“Thanks” she finally blurted out, “You’ve really….changed”

“I could say the same about you” Quan said giving her a knowing look.

“Me? Please. I’m still awkward” Sasha shrugged.

“No, you’re not. It’s actually pretty cool to see you laid back for once and not so far up your own ass”

Sasha gasped, and playfully hit her brother on the arm with a scowl. He shrugged to say it was the truth, staying firm on his statement.

“I’m just saying. Shit, and your relationship is definitely better than mine” Quan continued.

Sasha’s smile faded leaving Quan to wonder what did he said that was wrong.

“What?” He asked.

“Me and Lux broke up, like a month ago. How didn’t you notice?” She did a slight eye roll.

“I don’t keep up with you that much” Quan replied jokingly, “But that sucks…why?”

Before Sasha could respond, the door of the pizzeria swung open letting in the sound of rowdy girls. Sasha’s stomach balled into a knot at the sight of Fel’s cheerleaders, and she was sure that Lux was somewhere in the mix.

Quan turned his head to catch the sight, only to roll his eyes instead of being love struck like Sasha. Unlike his sister who was clearly head over heels for Lux, Quan barely like Shamira and was keeping his distance for the moment. It wasn’t like she cared anyway, as the only time she even bothered to talk to him was on her time.

“Go talk to her” Quan said turning back around to his sister, whose eyes were glued to Lux who like she predicted was amongst her cheer friends.

“Nah” Sasha shook her head, “So I can get laughed at?”

“She’s not going to laugh at you” Quan assured her, “Maybe, I can’t be sure. But either way, she’s going to see you staring at her”

Sasha quickly diverted her eyes to her brother because she realized he was right.

“What do I say?” Sasha asked, and she never thought she’d see herself asking Quan for dating advice.

“First off, be confident. If you’re going to get her back it has to start somewhere, so go talk to her”
Sasha bit down on her lip nervously.

Still, her brother was right. They had to talk sometime, and within the past month while the two still talked here and there it was nothing like how it used to be. She knew Lux was pushing her away to cope with what happened, but that was the last thing she wanted.

Finally lifting from her seat, she took a deep breath before approaching the table of girls.

“I’m just saying, who wants to keep doing the same boring ol’ routine from years ago. If we’re going to win the competition this year, we need a new routine” Amber insisted, her eyes specifically on Shamira who was the captain.

“Who has time for that? Not me” Shamira rolled her eyes, “That routine is tradition”

“Traditionally trash” Kiana, another cheerleader added and they all laughed.

Shamira gave them all the finger, and Lux jokingly gasped.

“I like the routine, now it may need some ~”
Her sentence came to a halt, and everyone’s eyebrows did a various of confused twists.

“May need some what?” Shamira waved her hand for Lux to continue.

“Ex girlfriend, twelve o clock” Amber smirked, spotting Sasha coming their way as Lux had just done moments earlier.

It was the mere reason why her heart was thumping three times as fast as it was before. She didn’t know why, because seeing Sasha wasn’t uncommon but that didn’t mean it was any easier.

Especially when she looked as cute as she did at the moment, her frizzled hair in a sloppy bun on top of her head and her sweated out edges curled up. Lux could tell Sasha was nervous as that was the only time she would ever twirl her hair with her finger, trying to cling onto any distraction that was closest.

Sasha finally approached the table, running her hand over her hair while looking at Lux and only Lux. She was aware that Jaz was at the table as well, and she definitely made sure to not look her way.

“Hey, what’s up?” She smiled attractively without even knowing it.

It was either that, or Lux just really missed her smile.

“Hey” Lux finally found her voice.

After a short moment of silence and awkward stares, Sasha finally asked, “Can we talk?”

“Talk” Shamira opened her hands to say the floor was open, and Sasha rolled her eyes.

“Maybe you should go talk to someone” she gestured her head towards Quan.

Shamira slit her eyes, “No thanks”

Sasha just shook her head and reverted her attention back to Lux who still hadn’t answered.

“Uhh yeah sure” Lux nodded.

A few girls slid out of the bench so she could get out, and Sasha didn’t know where they could go to talk in private besides a different table on the other side of the spacious pizzeria.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Lux asked, tapping her nails against the booth table.

“Nothing in particular…I just wanted to talk to you” Sasha half shrugged.

“Okay…” Lux smiled coyly, “Then let’s talk”

It sounded easier than the task actually was, mainly due to the fact Sasha hadn’t even thought about what she wanted to say.

Lux felt the same, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t want to talk to Sasha as well. She missed her, and although she wanted to hate her she was having a difficulty creating those feelings.

“Well first, how are you?” Sasha asked with curious eyes, “I know we see each other in passing, and class, but still”

“I know what you mean” Lux giggled, “And I’m…good. You?”

Lux didn’t want to spill how she really felt, and not just about their relationship but everything. From her nerves about actually getting into college, or how different it was living with two guys than it was just her Grandmother, or even just the little things that collectively made up the four weeks they had been estranged.

And while mainly it was her fault that the two hadn’t gotten back on track, she refused to move at a pace she just wasn’t ready for.

“Honestly?” Sasha started, and Lux should’ve known she would say that because she could never fake her feelings, “I miss you ~”

“Sasha ~”

“Let me finish” Sasha put her hands up, “As a friend. I know you don’t want to get back together, but I can’t lose you as a friend too. So I was hoping maybe we can start, you know…hanging out again”

Lux sat in thought, and for a moment Sasha just wanted to get up and say never-mind what was she thinking.

“Okay” Lux responded, surprising her, “And I miss you too. How about tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that works” Sasha smiled, “I’ll text you”

Lux returned it, and gestured back over to her table of friends, “I should get back. But, see you tomorrow”

“See you tomorrow”

For the first time in weeks Sasha was feeling hopeful, and with a lot more pep in her step she returned to the table where Quan sat.

“It worked” she beamed, “She said we can hang tomorrow”

“That’s wassup, aye look at God. You would’ve never known unless you tried” Quan smiled throwing his hands up.

“You’re right. Thanks, again” Sasha let out a breath, “Now it’s your turn”

“Huh?” Quan raised his brow.

“To talk to Shamira. Clearly you two are mad at each other”

“When is she ever not mad?” Quan asked a legitimate question, “I think I’m just going to break up with her if I’m keeping it real”

“Damn it’s that bad?” Sasha asked.

“That bad” Quan gave his sister a knowing look, “But let’s get going”

Sasha agreed and the two began to clean up their trash. Sasha grabbed her soda, her vision straight as she tried her best to not stare at Lux and the table of girls while walking out.

Unbeknownst to her, Lux was the one staring. She watched intensely as the siblings left the pizzeria, and she wasn’t the only one staring as Shamira let her eyes drift to Quan as well. She twisted her mouth because she knew she should’ve talked to him, but she just couldn’t face him, not yet anyway.

“That actually wasn’t so bad” Quan chuckled as he entered the house behind Sasha.

“Yeah could’ve been worst” Sasha playfully nudged him.

The two shared a laugh, only for it to cease as Myda sauntered into the living room.

“Hey Sasha, how was the game?” She asked, and Sasha found it funny that the only time her mom wanted to talk to her was if it had anything to do with cheerleading.

“It was good, we won. The basketball team, I mean” Sasha smiled uneasily.

“That’s good” Myda nodded.

An awkward silence came over the three, leaving Quan to clear his throat.

“I’ll be upstairs”

“Same” Sasha said following behind him.

“Wait, Sasha” Myda called after her.

Sasha stopped in her tracks, and was slightly jealous that Quan made it fully up the steps.

“Yeah?” She asked.

“Oof, look at your hair” Myda did a soft laugh, and for the first time in a long time she touched her daughters hair, “You should come with me to the salon tomorrow. Mother daughter date?”

Sasha was wondering if her mother was seriously ill, and Myda could tell the spontaneous invite caught her daughter off guard.

“I know, we haven’t done that in a longgg time. But I say we start the routine again, and while we’re there we can talk about prom. You are going to prom right?”

“Uhhh, I guess” Sasha replied a little hesitant as she hadn’t thought about that at all, “But umm, can we do that another time? Me and Lux are hanging out”

“Aw, that’s great I was becoming worried. I haven’t seen her over in a while, I was afraid you guys got into an argument or something”

“Kind of” Sasha said, not really meaning to put her mother into her business but it was hard to not have pity on herself.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Sasha’s eyes widened, and if she was being honest she did want to talk about it. She dreamed of a world where she could sit down and talk to her mother about her recent changes, as every little girl wanted that. She wanted to tell her how she was in love, and no not with a boy but a girl, a beautiful girl that she herself liked a lot.

About how she messed it up, and that she really needed confirmation that she wasn’t a shitty person whose perception of love would always be screwed up because of the lack of it from her parents. Boy, she really really wanted to talk about. But she couldn’t, as she knew her declaration of love for one of the same sex would send her Mother into Christian shock as she called it.

Sasha was relieved when Joseph walked into the front door, gaining her Mother’s attention. The two battled looks, and the tension was so thick Sasha was glad to dismiss herself.

“I’m going to get started on homework” she nodded up the stairs.

“Okay, you do that” Myda replied with a closed smile, “and tomorrow, the salon. Don’t forget”

Sasha cracked a smile, only to roll her eyes once she was out of sight. She closed herself in her room, and fell back onto her bed exhausted.

A lot of things were going on in her head at the moment, one being that it was clear that the days of her mother ignoring her were over. Still, she had tomorrow to look for, and it definitely wasn’t for the visit to the salon.