Chapter 24

Just when I finally relaxed, everything was tense again. This time the tension was not between Ellie and me, but Kaylee and me. The car ride home from church was awkward, I knew she knew. She gave me quick glances, staring subtly and snapping her head away anytime I looked up. Mom tried to chat with us all but the only one who would respond was Ivory, me and Kaylee were in our own world, a world where my secret was not so secret anymore.

Dinner that night was even worse. I could tell she was itching to ask about the situation back at church, to nag about me and Ellie’s moment. She didn’t understand the situation, she didn’t understand us, just like I didn’t understand us, and I wished I could go back in time and make it never happen, or wash her brain of any recollection of the situation. Yet, I could not, and so now I had to deal with the consequences of my sister seeing me kiss my best friend, or my best friend kissing me, or us kissing each other.

Great job, Eve.

I was currently sitting in my room, curled up with a book in my lap, my knees bent and my back pressed against the unnecessary number of fluffy pillows behind me. It was later now, nearing 8PM, the sky outside going dark. The door to my bedroom creaked open and I froze, my eyes snapping up to the doorway. Kaylee entered, slowly closing the door behind her, pressing her back to it. We stared at each other, not blinking, not moving, and I was just praying to God she would not ask about it – that maybe she already convinced herself it was some crazy dream or hallucination.

“What was that?” She asked.

Nope.

“What?” I asked dumbly. I knew perfectly well what she was talking about, but I would act oblivious until she outright said it. I was not going to give myself away unless absolutely necessary.

“Ya know…church…Ellie…you,” she murmured, gesturing vaguely with her hands like that helped.

“Church, Ellie, me, what?” I asked. She hesitated for a moment, groaning as she leaned her head back.

“Don’t act…silly!” She insisted, but I could tell she wanted to say stupid; because I was absolutely acting stupid.

“Well then specify,” I shrugged. She gritted her teeth in frustration, her eyes intense as we stared each other down.

“You kissed Ellie!” She whispered sharply. I stared at her blankly, not knowing exactly how to respond to her absolutely correct accusation. She sighed heavily, her shoulders deflating as she gave me an unimpressed look. “Don’t act like I’m crazy, Eve, I saw – what was that?” She asked sternly, or as stern as Kaylee Wells could be.

“Well, you weren’t supposed to see,” I snapped.

“Well what was it!” Kaylee insisted.

“It-it was what you saw!” I blurted out.

“So you and Ellie are…?” She tilted her head, leaving the question open ended, but clearly suggesting the obvious.

“No!” I exclaimed.

“So you’re kissing random girls now?” Kaylee asked.

“Okay, you have got this all wrong!” I insisted. “You weren’t even supposed to see that – no one was! Drop this, please Kaylee, forget it ever happened!” I pleaded.

“How do I forget something like that – you two looked like you were going to go for each other’s throats one second and the other you’re-” she cut herself off, making an exaggerated kissing gesture with her hands.

“Ugh!” I grumbled in frustration, burying my flustered face into my hands.

“I-I’m not judging!” She insisted.

“But you are! Just say it! I’m- I’m disgusting and unholy and I-I’m a-,” I rambled, tearing up for the upteenth time. I didn’t cry often, I had been raised tougher than that, only met with the cold eyes of Dad when I did so that held no sympathy, so I learned there was no reason to cry and no good in doing so. But every time I thought of me and this sickness, this disease, I broke down.

“I never said that!” Kaylee frowned.

“But you’re thinking it,” I muttered.

“Says who?” She scoffed.

“I know!” I insisted.

“I seriously – I don’t care! I-I have gay friends!” She blurted out.

“I’m not g- you have gay friends?” I asked as I blinked at her.

“Yeah…there’s this girl…I’m friends with at school, she’s cool,” she shrugged. “Eren?” She said her name.

“Don’t know her,” I hummed. “But it doesn’t matter whether or not you have…those friends. I’m…me, and you weren’t supposed to see that,” I muttered.

“Okay well I did, and I just wanna know!” She groaned.

“There’s nothing to know…so,” I trailed off, fiddling with my hands in my lap.

“Don’t be silly,” she repeated. “I just said I’m not gonna judge! I can keep a secret! Just tell me what you and Ellie are!” She said hopefully.

“Me and Ellie are nothing,” I said firmly.

“Lying is a sinnn~,” she said in a sing-song tone.

“Ugh! Kaylee!” I said exasperatedly.

“Please!” She pleaded.

“We’re nothing official.” I said plainly. “And…we won’t be…that’s not…” I trailed off.

“But you guys are cute…” she whispered scandalously, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Okay, out of all people, you are the last person I’d expect to say all this…” I murmured. “Where is Kaylee?” I said playfully as I scanned her up and down.

“Oh, c’mon,” she frowned, rolling her eyes. “I’m…cool! Sometimes…” she murmured petulantly.

“Well, whatever you are, you’re not getting a straightforward answer because even I haven’t got a straightforward answer…and I don’t wanna talk about this,” I huffed.

“Lame,” she muttered, turning for the door, pausing for a moment. “Like Ellie said, believe whatever you wanna believe…but you love her. And I don’t think that God would keep pushing you together if you were meant to be apart…”

*************************************

       I was sitting in the hospital room, my leg bouncing erratically. They had allowed all Mom, Ivory, Kaylee, and me into the room today finally because they needed to discuss things – said it was only a one time thing, and I would savor it. It was painfully annoying, swapping places with one another to sit at his bedside and just hope he would finally wake. It had been nearly two weeks now since he fell into the coma, maybe a little longer. I felt quite out of it myself, still trying to process everything. My Bible was tucked in my lap as I stared at Dad. Mom was sitting next to him in bed, staring off blankly, her head tilted in a way that would appear scary to most people, but that was just Mom.

Ivory was sitting on a plastic chair across the room, flipping through one of the pamphlets off the wall. Kaylee was next to her, her freshly painted red coated nails digging into her thighs so hard I thought it might break skin. She was staring at Dad like she got blessed with telepathy and was going to awaken him. What a family…I loved them dearly, but…wow.

Dr. Williams entered the room with a chart, glancing around briefly before looking towards Mom with a kind smile.

“Hello, Mrs. Wells,” she said politely. “Could you come out here, please? We would like to discuss some things for your husband going forward,” she informed. Mom hesitated, looking back at Dad again before slowly standing as Ivory gave her a reassuring nod. Mom hesitated some more and Ivy stood up, gently ushering her out the door and joining her side.

“I wanna go…” Kaylee muttered, glancing between Dad and Mom before standing up and slipping out the door to go and listen. I just huffed and rolled my eyes, pushing my frizzy red locks back from my face. The strands caught on my sweaty palms as I groaned, grabbing it and pulling it all to the side. Sometimes I just wanted to chop it all clean off.

I looked back down at my Bible, opening it up to Psalm 25, my hand running along the sleek page. As my eyes scanned the words I heard an awful rattling breath that had my head snapping to attention. I glanced around, looking hopefully towards Dad, but nothing. I slowly looked back down to the Holy scripture in my lap, resuming my place in reading-

“Eve…”

My head snapped back up and I looked around, my eyes flicking to the window and the ceiling as if someone could be creeping around. My name was repeated in the same gravely way that had a shiver running down my spine. I slowly stood up, about to walk out, go get Mom and my sisters, but I heard it again, along with the shift of sheets. I looked over towards Dad, realizing his brown eyes were finally open. I gasped, rushing to his bedside with my jaw slack in shock.

“Dad,” I whispered in awe, grabbing onto the rails of his bed as I looked him over as if trying to compute his current state to memory: tubes, wires, machines, needles. He gazed up at me, slowly reaching over and grabbing my smaller hand in his. His touch was weaker now, softer, but his hands were still large, calloused, and rough like they always had been.

“Eve…” he rasped, running his thumb over my pale skin.

“I-I have to get the doctor, it’s okay,” I said breathlessly. He opened his mouth again but I quickly shook my head. “N-no, don’t talk…they- your throat has damage,” I said quickly as I tried to pull back. He ignored that advice, taking it as a mere suggestion, gripping my hand and forcing me to stay as my eyes flicked to the door.

“Evelyn…” he murmured. Why did he keep saying my name like that? “You…- I saw God,” he said gruffly. I paused, registering his words for a long moment, my brows furrowed.

“Dad…what?” I asked softly, a slow smile spreading across my lips.

“I saw God.” He repeated plainly.

“Dad…let me get the doctor,” I encouraged, patting his bicep.

“I saw God…” he repeated. “Well, I heard God and saw the light. And it told me about all of you…but especially you…” he murmured. There was a pause between us as I looked at him bewildered. Maybe he was just out of it? Though, at the same time, I was hopeful that maybe he really did hear God. They wouldn’t tell me but I overheard Mom saying he was originally pronounced dead, heart stopped…so…?

“And…said what?” I asked softly as I delicatley sat down next to him on the bed.

“That I need to fulfill myself through you and let you be you,” he said slowly. “Evelyn, I need you to be you, whatever that is, however it is, whatever it is, be you with the Lord in your heart and your faith in mind, but be you,” he rasped. I blinked at him slowly, hot tears stinging my eyes as my breath stuttered in my chest.

“Okay…” I whispered hoarsely.

“Okay…” he said. “Keep it in mind…I have a feeling he didn’t tell me for no reason now. Evelyn, I was given another chance..you will always be my little girl,” he said. I looked down at the floor, quickly rubbing at my eyes as I hiccuped and stood from the bed hastily, shuffling to the door, as this time, Dad allowed me to. I flung it open, seeing all four women standing out there, turning around to look my way.

“He’s…awake.” I informed them. Each and every one of them snapped to attention, all with a different expression on their face. Dr. Williams was the first to enter as she pushed past me calmly, quickly walking inside and calling in a nurse, running a few standard tests. Everyone stood around and watched intently, all nervous despite the fact he seemed alive and well because it felt nearly fake. Mom and Dad talked, tears welling in Mom’s eyes as Dad kept telling her he was “just fine.” He whispered something into the doctor’s ear and she paused, slowly pulling back the blanket and pressing a pen to his feet and feeling along his legs as Dad just shook his head.

“Everythin’ all right…?” Mom asked hopefully, her voice holding an underlying anxiety.

“Just fine,” Dad repeated.

“Well…” The doctor hesitated, glancing between all of us. “You…” she glanced at Dad, raising an eyebrow and he nodded slowly.

“Mhm,” he hummed.

“Ma’am, we are going to run some more tests…but your husband cannot feel his legs right now…” Dr. Williams explained calmly. “I-It could be a side effect of the coma. These things-,”

“What!?” Mom exclaimed.