Chapter 22

    
    Ellie and I exited the school, the night chill engulfing my heated skin, warm as a result of the packed gym. I had finally forced myself out of the house after Dad’s accident, determined to go and watch Ellie play tonight, even if I was still on edge with not much information on Dad yet after an entire day. They presumed he was in a coma…

     The girls basketball game had just ended, people filing out around us, walking alongside each other, and chattering obnoxiously. Our school had won against our rival school from the town over, Middleton High, and they were already off to a roaring start this season, or at least that’s what they said. I didn’t understand basketball all that much, I only enjoyed it for Ellie, and watching her play on the court.

    “You did good!” I said happily, beaming up at her while her arm was slung around my shoulder, still in her uniform, still hot and disgusting. Yet, I allowed her next to me in all her post game glory and her abundant amount of sweat.   

    “Thanks, Ives,” she hummed, adjusting her bag on her free arm. “About got knocked in the face because they couldn’t handle losing, but it was worth it,” she snorted. The both of us headed back to her car where Ellie’s mom was already waiting on us, leaned up against the side with the keys.

    “They were getting pushy,” I remarked with a grin, brushing back a piece of stray hair from her forehead. “Gross,” I muttered as my fingers grazed her damp skin. Ellie simply chuckled and opened her mouth, seemingly to respond, but she went abruptly quiet, awkwardly removing her arm from around my shoulders and shrugging me off. I didn’t think much of it at first but it was admittedly odd for her. I glanced over, my eyes landing on Kaya and a group of friends who attended Middleton High. Kaya.

    My eyes flicked back to Ellie, watching her expression intently as she kept her head down. I didn’t comment, choosing to give her some leniency. She went silent, not making a peep as we walked back to the car. I looked over again, seeing Kaya laughing, pushing one of her friends, her mouth opened wide, her nose scrunched up. I looked back to Ellie, my eyes soft, and I yearned to know what really happened that night, because I knew I didn’t have the full, honest truth.

    When we arrived at the car, Ellie slipped into the backseat, depositing her bag onto the empty seat and slamming the door closed. I sealed my lips into a tight line, keeping any comments to myself, but I was thinking about how she didn’t open my door for me, or how she didn’t make a typical snarky comment all because of these girls. I shot a glare over their way despite the fact I was aware they couldn’t see me, and I knew I wouldn’t affect them on their high horse. I rounded the car and slipped into the passenger seat, buckling my seatbelt and tucking my hands into my lap as Oliver chatted to Ellie about how amazing she did tonight. While I completely agreed, I could tell this wasn’t what Ellie wanted to be talking about right now. In fact, I don’t believe she wanted to talk at all.

    The rest of the ride home was quiet and the energy in the air hesitant. It wasn’t our usual dynamic, where I would “DJ,” as Ellie said, in the passenger seat while Oliver sang along and Ellie nearly passed out in the backseat, sprawled out and exhausted after her game. Now it was different, and yet again, I wanted to nag her on just what happened that night? However, I had learned my lesson, and I kept quiet, gandering out the window into the darkness of the night, the Mississippi weather wet and cold outside.

    Right as we pulled onto our road, Haul Rd. written on a green sign, Ellie’s phone began to vibrate and ring in the back seat, lighting up and casting a white glow along the roof of the car. She huffed and fumbled for the sleek black electronic, swiping up as she answered.

    “Hello?” She asked as I watched her intently. “Yeah?” She hummed.

    “It’s Ivory,” she informed me, passing the phone over to me. I accepted it and placed it to my ear.

    “Hello?” I repeated. Ivory’s voice filtered through the speakers, and her words managed to sour my mood even further.

    “Hey, Eve…Dad’s in a…he’s in a coma, the doctors said,” she murmured, her tone solemn. “I’m sorry…please don’t tell Kaylee yet when you get home…she’s not in a good enough state to hear that,” Ivory said. I stared off, my breath caught in my throat, my chest tightening uncomfortably. A long moment of silence passed on the phone until finally I glanced up and realized we were at my house and Oliver and Ellie were waiting for me to get out.

    “He…is?” I asked breathlessly. “How long? Is…is everything else okay? How’s Mom…? I-” I gasped, cutting myself off. My throat closed up, a sign I knew meant I was on the verge of tears, but I wouldn’t accept them right now.

    “Everything’s fine, Evie, we will figure this out. Please don’t worry…we’ll figure it out,” Ivory mumbled. “And…we don’t know how long, but it’ll-“

    “Okay,” I said abruptly. “Okay, I love you…bye,” I bid, my voice cracking at the end.

    “I love you, too, please Eve, it’ll-” I ended the call, staring into the dark house, lifeless, even more so now that I knew Dad would be gone for Lord only knows how long. I was worried sick because what would we do? He ran this place, he provided, and he always had. I knew no different.

    “Thank you…for driving me home,” I murmured to Oliver. My expression was blank as I slowly handed the phone back to Ellie and exited the car, my hand curling around the handle.

    “Eve?” Ellie asked. “Are you all right?” She questioned.

    “Uhm…Dad’s…in a coma,” I said slowly. She sat up a bit, blinking the sleep away from her eyes.

    “Oh…my gosh, Eve, I’m so sorry…” she said sympathetically.

    “It’ll…be fine,” I said awkwardly, just as Ivy had said to me. I swallowed hard as the words left my mouth because I knew I didn’t believe them, sighing shakily.

      “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry, we’re always here if you need anything,” Oliver said politely, reaching out to pat my bicep. I forced a smile and nodded, exiting the car.

    “Thank you…I appreciate it..a lot,” I sighed. “See you guys later,” I hummed as I shut the car door and turned for my home, the tears brewing, stinging my eyes and nose, flushing my face. I heard a click behind me, Ellie exiting the car, following me up the driveway. I contemplated a moment before pausing and turning to her. I didn’t say anything, waiting for her to speak. She looked down at me and hesitated, her hand slowly grasping my hip.

    “Like mom said, we’re always here for you Eve…you know that, right?” She asked softly.

    “Of course I do,” I replied, my voice tense with barely contained tears.

    “Okay…” she murmured, her eyes scanning my face. They paused on my lips and my heart stuttered in my chest, feeling nearly…hopeful?

    “Okay…” I said quietly, leaning up absentmindedly.

    “Okay.” She said casually, pulling back and stepping away. I paused, an awkward space put between us now. I opened my mouth to say something, but she turned away, back to the car.

    “Bye, Eve,” she bid as she grabbed the handle and swung the door open. That all too familiar pit formed in my stomach yet again and I took in a shaky breath, allowing the tears to well up in the darkness of the night.

    “Goodbye, Ellie,” I whispered, turning away hastily. When the car door slammed shut, I walked up to the house, pushed open the gate, marched up the steps, and unlocked the door with shaky hands. I slowly turned on the lights in the house, and as I locked the door, I was just filled with absolute…rage; in a very un-Eve-like way. I took shallow breaths, heavy and hot, my fists clenching as tears fell down my face. I grumbled to myself, pulling at my red locks in frustration, sobbing softly. Why did the world have to crumble at the time I needed it most stable. Why, God?

    “WHY!” I wailed, picking up the first thing I could reach for which was Mom’s sewing kit, chucking it across the room as I groaned. It hit the wall with a thump, falling onto the floor and rocking back and forth. I hiccuped, tears blurring my vision as I stumbled upstairs. It was all dark, no one was at home, just me. Kaylee was working, Ivory and Mom were with Dad in the hospital, and I was here, alone. I staggered to my bedroom, throwing open my door and letting it ricochet off the wall. I gripped at the bed post, my breathing ragged, my chest heaving while hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I gasped and grabbed a pair of discarded shoes, chucking those across the room, too. This cycle went on for every victimized object I could get my hands on: lamps, clothes, pencils, pens, hairbrushes, notebooks, and anything else that could be possibly lying around my room, all now slung along the floor.

    “God!” I shouted, dropping to my knees and running my hands over my face aggressively, completely soaked from my tears. “WHY, WHY, WHY!? Why me? Why couldn’t you make me normal? Why me, God? Why me…?” I sobbed, hyperventilating as I surrendered myself to the floor, the abyss growing in my stomach and eating me alive. Why did he make me this way? Why did I feel this way? Why did I like her – no, love her. Why was my life falling apart at the seams, unravelling and taking every loose thread with it?

    “What have I done…? I’m sorry, God…”

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     The next day, I awoke in my bed, blinking slowly as I glanced around my room. I quickly discovered that, no, it was not miraculously cleaned by an angel and instead still a complete mess by my doings the night before. I sighed in defeat, laying my head back down and burying my face in my pillow. I laid slumped there for a few minutes, finally picking my head up with a soft groan and looking around again. Yeah, I definitely had my work cut out for me today. Thanks a lot, Eve.

    I caught a glimpse of the red numbers on my clock, suddenly realizing the time. 9:40AM, it read. I gasped, practically flinging myself off of the bed and into my en-suite bathroom, quickly grabbing my toothbrush and my hairbrush all at once in a flurry of movement because I was supposed to be awake nearly three hours earlier and I had to babysit the Moore’s children down the street at 10AM. I got ready in a rush, throwing on my clothes and slapping water and lotions on my face. My hair was a wreck of knots from me tugging on it the night before and I had to rip the brush through my hair, wincing as I braided it tight, pulling even further at my abused scalp.

    Once I looked decent, I stumbled down the steps, stomping my feet into my white flats. I went to fling the front door open, huffing to myself as I forgot to unlock it, doing so and then ripping it open. I walked onto the porch only to stumble back when someone stood directly in front of me, making my heart leap in my chest.

    “Goodness gracious,” I gasped. I looked up, meeting those familiar hazel eyes that belonged to Ellie. I froze, swallowing harshly as she stood in front of me, laughing gently at my surprise.

    “So you finally remember we have a front door?” I joked, stepping outside and locking it behind me. She chuckled, smiling softly, her eyes scanning my movements.

    “Guess so…or I’m a creepy stalker who knows no one else is home,” she joked. I let out a soft breath, a hesitant smile gracing my lips as I avoided looking at her.

    “Yeah?” I murmured. “Well, I’ve got somewhere to be, a babysitting job, I should go,” I said quickly, brushing past her.

    “Hey-,” she called, capturing my wrist in her warm grasp. “Hey, when…will you be back?” She questioned. I hesitated, staring off and avoiding her eyes as I swallowed, her touch feeling like it physically burned, feeling so right, and yet I told myself it was so wrong.

    “I don’t know.” I answered plainly, reluctantly pulling my wrist away.

    “Okay, well, ya know, I just wanted to…talk,” she murmured, rounding me in an attempt to get me to look at her. The feelings I had felt the night prior flooded back to me, right along with the black pit in my stomach that had me feeling sick with guilt.

    “I- are you okay, Evelyn?” Ellie asked abruptly, her voice genuinely worried to a degree that had me worried.

    “What?” I asked, snapping myself out of my daze. “Yes- yeah, I’m…fine. I’m just stressed out, Ellie, I’m fine,” I assured her quickly.

    “Are you sure…? You know you can always talk to me, Eve…” she said.

    “Of course,” I smiled, but it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Of course, Ellie.” I hummed, walking down my steps and heading down the street.

    “Okay, well, if you…get home late, at least call me, yeah?” She asked hopefully.

    “Yeah.” I agreed, but I didn’t know if I was being completely truthful, and the darkness grew, rising to my chest now.

    “I love you.” Ellie said suddenly. My feet stuttered to a stop and I paused, biting my lip hard and closing my eyes tight.

    “I’ll see you later, Ellie.” My voice cracked on her name.