Chapter 2

“It’s ’cause you got no meat on your bones.” I rubbed my eyes again and fixed my gaze on the glow of the digital clock sitting on the window ledge across the room. 2:42. “Sorry, the front room is drafty. You want to take my comforter? It’s all I got.”

Lena shook her head.

“Fine,” I said and lifted the covers. “But you better not be jailbait.”

“Thanks,” she said and crawled in beside me. I think I jumped the gun on the whole jailbait discussion, because as soon as her head hit the pillow she was snoring. It was a cute little snore, and I found myself wanting to snuggle up to her and wrap her in my arms.

I settled for laying a hand on her shoulder and kissing the nape of her neck before closing my eyes again. “Sweet dreams, Lena,” I whispered.

“Eggs and toast OK?” I hollered from my apartment’s little galley kitchen when I saw Lena wandering forth from the bedroom. “Cause I was serious when I said that’s all I’ve got.”

“Jordan?” Lena had her head in her hands and was pulling her hair through her fingers. “Jordan, oh god, did we?” She looked down over her clothes as if she were searching for missing keys or something. “Did we?”

“No Lena, we did not.” I knew what she was going for even though she couldn’t seem to find the words. “I’m not that kind of girl. I — I mean I am, but not on the first date, OK?”

“Oh, thank god,” she heaved.

“Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel good about herself.”

“No, Jordan. It’s not that,” she said. “It’s just that you really don’t want to touch me, OK?” Lena hung her head and studied her feet. “I’m pretty sure — I mean I think — Jordan, I’ve got HIV, OK? I’m sorry, I was just so tired last night, and you were so nice, and …”

“Shhh.” I set the spatula down and walked a few steps to take Lena in my arms. “Thank you for telling me, but we didn’t do anything last night. Honest.”

“Oh god.” Lena dropped her head on my shoulder and looked like she was ready to pass out.

“You better have a seat, sugar. I’ll have breakfast up in a minute.”

By the time I made it over to the couch to hand another egg and toast sandwich off to Lena, she had her face in her hands and was sobbing softly. I set the plates down on the coffee table and situated my butt next to her.

“Hey.” I put my arm over her shoulder. “You didn’t put me in any danger. Now have some breakfast, OK? You’ll feel better about life with some food in your tummy.”

“Thank you.” She sniffled.

I stood up and returned with two glasses of water and a small package of pocket-sized tissues. “Don’t use them all up,” I said. “It’s my last pack.”

Lena chuckled and then let out a long toot into a tissue. “You’re so sweet, Jordan.”

“Don’t mention it, sugar. Besides, we all got our problems.” I took a bite of egg sandwich and chewed before continuing. “You got your three letters, and I got a congenital heart defect. So ain’t we just a perfect pair. A couple of ticking timebombs just sitting here having breakfast.”

“Oh Jordan, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, honey. By all rights I should have died in my teens, but here I am, still kickin’.”

I don’t think Lena knew what to say. She just took a bite of egg and toast sandwich and chewed.

“You want ketchup?” I asked.

I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her over so that her cheek was resting on my shoulder. She sighed and snuggled into me. It felt nice.

“There’s a motel coming up, you want to splurge?” I asked as we barreled down historic Route Sixty-Six in my old Dodge truck. Let me tell you, this old back highway is not nearly as exciting and romantic as it’s made out to be, but it’s what we had decided to do and we were sticking with it. Besides, the truck made some scary noises at Interstate speeds.

“We should save our money,” Lena said. “Let’s camp out.”

“This is Kansas, honey. Nothing but wheat fields and tornado shelters. You sure we can’t sleep in a motel?”

“OK.” Lena snaked her hand across the seat and rubbed it up and down my thigh. “Though I’ll have you know it’s always been a lifelong dream of mine to camp out in a wheat field. But that’s OK, Jordan. Just crush my dream to dust.” She faked a sob. “I can handle it.”

“Shut up.” I grinned. I cranked the wheel around and dropped the old truck into one of the many open parking spots in front of the little motel. “Be back soon, baby. Don’t go running off, OK?”

Lena gave me a peck on the lips and I shoved my shoulder into the door to get it to open.

It was always either one or the other of us booking the motel rooms, never both, and particularly out here in the sticks. It only took one person exercising their so-called religious freedom to let us know that an interracial lesbian couple was not necessarily the most welcome sight in some parts of the old US of A.

I came back with a key hanging off an oversized tag marked with the number four clutched in my hand, and showed it to Lena. “It was a tough negotiation, but I managed to get us the honeymoon suite.”

“Pssh,” Lena said as she reached to grab her pack from behind the seat.

I put my hand on top of hers. “Let me, baby.”

Lena shot me a death glare. “Jordan, I am not an invalid. I’ll get it.”

“Yes ma’am.” I pulled my hand back.

“But it was sweet of you to offer.” She planted a peck on my lips and proceeded to shove her shoulder into the passenger door. It gave way with a squeak and a groan, and she stepped out. I reached behind my seat to grab my bag and the cooler.

“I call dibs on the shower,” I teased. Lena just looked at me and smiled. This had been a running joke between us since we started this little road trip of ours and it would probably last until we got all the way to Puget Sound. Somebody always called dibs on the shower even though everywhere we went, we always ended up showering together.

“What do we have left in the cooler?” Lena asked.

“Hmm.” I pried the lid off. “Not much. There’s still a few apples and your leftover KFC, though if you ask me that was not the Colonel’s best effort on the chicken. Oh, and some Wisconsin cheese curds from our little detour. Still squeaky too. Fucking amazing.”

Lena pushed the door shut and playfully shoved me backward until I tumbled onto the double bed. “I never thought I’d say this Jordan, but I might just miss your egg and toast sandwiches.”

“Honey, next time we camp I will whip up all the egg and toast you can eat. But I don’t think they’ll want me lighting the Coleman stove up in the room.” I grinned. “So what do you say we go out tonight? Someplace were we can steal some ketchup packets. We’re getting low.”

Lena fixed me with a lecherous gaze and slowly crawled up onto the bed. I began to think that we may not be getting our resupply of ketchup packets after all. She was kneeling over me now, straddling my thighs as she shed her t-shirt and reached around to unfasten her bra.

“We can go out a little later,” I said reaching down to peel out of my own t-shirt. “I’m fine with that.”

Making love was definitely a little weird with us, but we made it work. At first, Lena was deathly afraid of passing her disease on to me, and insisted that we both keep our underwear on at all times. Though lately she’d loosened up a little bit, and we’d started fingering each other through one of the many condoms from the economy-size box we had purchased back in Saint Louis.

“Or I can probably do without the ketchup.” I shivered as Lena slid her tongue up the side of my neck. “And I’m OK with that, ’cause as a vegetable, it’s totally overrated.”

“Jordan.” Lena lifted her head and smiled. “Shut up.”

“Yes, m–” I started. Lena’s lips were on me so fast that I never got a chance to finish my snappy comeback. And I’m OK with that, because snappy comebacks are totally overrated.

Lena had her hands wrapped up in my hair and I didn’t think she was going to be letting me go anytime soon. That was fine by me. If she had the energy, I was more than willing. And boy was Lena energetic. She soon had me forgetting all about those little ketchup packets.

“Mmm, Lena,” I moaned as she drew her tongue lower and flicked it back and forth over my nipple a few times.

“I love making them stand up.” That was what she had said the first time she laid her mouth on me, when we were still shacked up in my little one-bedroom back in Podunk, Indiana. Well, three states later — four if you count our little incursion into Wisconsin on a quest for cheese curds — and she still loved making them stand up.

I have to say I didn’t mind her obsession one little bit. “Oh, sugar,” I moaned as I arched my back. “Mmm.”

I could feel her chuckling at the way I lost myself so quickly under her touch. I just thrust my chest out and let her go to town while I trailed my fingertips lightly up and down her back. I knew it made her shiver a little when I did it, and she said it was a good shiver so I kept pulling that trick out of the bag.

And secretly, though I would never tell her this, I was silently counting the number of ribs I could feel. If she ever found out what I was doing it would probably start another argument, but I was getting concerned. I kept pushing her to eat high-calorie meals and the weight never seemed to stay on.

But I didn’t want to start an argument right now. I really just wanted Lena to fuck me. “Oh god, Lena,” I moaned. And when I saw her reaching over to the nightstand for a condom, I figured my wish would soon be granted. “Oh baby, you spoil me.”

“Shut up Jordan,” she said. She rolled the rubber down over two fingers, grinning the whole time.

“Oh, Lena,” I heaved as she pressed into me. I squeezed around her two fingers and watched her eyes light up. We hadn’t been doing the whole penetration thing for too long, but when we did, it was always with enthusiasm.

“God, baby, that’s it. Oh my … “

Lena had her lips on mine and was busy exploring my mouth with her tongue while her nimble fingers probed the bundle of nerves between my thighs. She was not in a rush, but she never left me wanting for too long. Lena was an exquisitely skilled lover.