Chapter 3

RAVEN

The ride to my new home for the summer was somehow shorter than I anticipated. A part of me knew we were far from my parents’ house but I when I want things to go slow they always happen faster.

I found myself being driven  through large black gates with the sign The Lady Of The Sacred Son. The walls around the huge buildings were large, locking the residents from the outside world. Of course the precious nuns were kept far away from harm.

It was crazy how they expected people who knew nothing about the outside world to change me. Nobody can understand something unless they experienced it. It was clear sense to know none of these women knew what homosexuality truly was about.

They just read about it being a sin and that was it. I had no intentions to change their minds, my time in the place was going to be spent on practicing how to be an actress. If I pulled it off, I would consider changing a career path and becoming the next Riley Reid.

Uh no. I meant the next Scarlet Johnson.

The gate opened and we drove inside. The first thing i saw was a huge, really ginormous Cathedral with a cross sign on top of the wooden double door entrance.

We went past it and sure enough there was a big pathway with trees on the sides. It was a beautiful view for someone like me who loved old tall huge buildings.

The car stopped and my bags were carried by the nuns. They didn’t say one single word  to me, I wondered if they were scared. Did they think i was homocontagious?.

If they asked me, I would tell them being gay is an airborne disease. Might as well warn them about the Gay Pandemic.

They kept walking until we reached a big building with three vehicles parked in front. By the cross signs on them I could tell they belonged to the Convent.

We walked inside in silence following through an empty white hall that had closed doors. We turned on a curve  and finally saw nuns, some in blue some in white. They had beads around their necks with crosses and everything that presented who they were.

And what surprised me was the lack of wrinkles on their faces. To be honest I expected all these nuns to be old folks. Old, wrinkly and ready to meet the great one.

No offense of course.

The nuns stared at me as we walk past them. They kept doing whatever they were doing but subtly threw glances my way. Some were alone, some in little groups. We walked past a huge room where they were young girls studying. Their clothing style was different from the rest. They were in all white.

I was led through some polished cemented stairs until we reached a silent empty corridor with 6 brown wooden doors.

The old nun who acted like the leader took out a key from a pocket and opened the  door before the last room with a double door. I stared at the room with double doors curiously.

It was the only one with double doors.

I was never much of a talker. I observed and made my own conclusions from what I saw with my two eyes. Which meant I didn’t believe in things I had never seen.

“Alright child, this will be your room for the months you will stay at this convent. You keep it clean and neat. Your sheets and blankets are washed every week, you eat with the rest of us. The last door in the corridor is the bathroom, you share with the novices but you are to shower an hour after they have due to your… circumstances” The old nun cleared her throat awkwardly.

I chose to keep eye contact while she spoke. I was not scared of them and I was going to let them know that. Nobody would abuse me into bending to their choice of preference.

My sexuality, my business.

If they wanted to see me as a threat, then so be it.

“Mother Superior will come see you and brief you on how we can..help you”

“Is that all?” I raised my eyebrows up, my face twisted in disgust on its own will.

“Yes. Stay here until Mother Superior comes”

“It’s not like I want to go outside and see all the cute pretty nuns you have here” I stretched my lips in an evil smile.

Now it was her turn to make a face and step away from me. They placed my bags down and hurried out of the room.

Or maybe it didn’t have to be so bad. I expected this to be a repeat of that movie called, But I’m a cheerleader. Without the finding love and the gay men part.

But then I was the only one here with an invert sexual orientation. Chances were getting the queer spirits exorcised out. Things were not looking very promising for me.

Curse my father and his rotten mindset.

I sat on the bed and took a moment to admire my room. Small but good enough. A bed, a desk with a book written in golden letters, BIBLE. There was a small cross nailed to the wall with a figurine crucified on it.

On top of the cross was a huge picture of a woman holding a child who had his little hand faced forward with a glowing light in his palm. A few white birds on top of the woman’s head. She looked like she was staring at me.

In my opinion, her eyes were judging me.

“I miss my room and the posters of Sappho poetry on my walls” I sighed in somber.

Just then the door opened. A woman stepped inside. She was dressed in a black long loose fitting dress that reached all the way down to her feet. Then another black fabric over her shoulder slightly with a golden cross simple drawn on top.

Then a white belt around her waist. My eyes took in the next piece of cloth being a white head covering fabric that hid her ears, neck and just below her chin.

“That’s a lot of clothing on one person” I whispered to myself.

“Our uniforms show modesty.” The woman replied casting her eyes on my tomboy outfit.

“Okay” I stared in her blue eyes, quieting down to give her the chance to speak.

“I’m the Mother Superior of this convent and also the one who will be helping you become one with God again” The woman started.

“I am Raven” The one who might slap you if you say something like that again.

I wanted to say but I kept it in and chose to study the woman who would be handling my journey to becoming heterosexual.
Even I wanted to know if that was a possibility. I swear my last heartbreak had me ready to drown myself.

Girls don’t care.

“Do you believe in God Raven?”

“I believe there is a higher power that created the existence of…everything. I don’t feel the need to find out whom” I rested my back on the wall and watched the wheels in her head turn.

“That means you don’t believe in him?”

“It’s what you named the one who created existence. I’m not obliged to believe in a name or not believe” I kept my tone as it was from the beginning.

I was not going to get defensive about religion and spirituality with a nun.

“You are simply lost, I understand and that’s where we will start. Your relationship with God”

“Then you will work on my lesbian unbecoming goals?” I asked, eyes still locked on the woman.

“Yes. For it to happen, you have to work with me through the process of…”

“My mother and father want me straight. I didn’t say I don’t like who I am. I’m not here to be religious, or find my freaking path or whatever. I am here to let you do what my father paid you to do” I sat up, spreading my legs as I spoke.

“We are not getting paid to help a lost child. We understand this is immoral and you might have been around people that corrupted you. We are going to help you Raven because its not natural. This thing that makes you think you want to bed with women, its the devil”

She started to speak more slow like when an adult is talking to a dumb child.

I thought about slapping her, defending myself and my community came into consideration and I could have said a lot of things. Done something so horrible to her holy body and soul,  even her God would not recognize her. But I took a breath, placed my hands on top of my legs and slowly said the only nice thing I could think of.

“The spirit of homosexuality is upon me, I now feel the need to fornicate”

■ ■ ■

Well that was a great first meeting, don’t you think?.

But finally I have a setting with the beginning of the story between them.