Chapter 27

RAVEN

Even faith gets tired.

I faced my ceiling from the floors of the small closet built for my clothes. Though we had exchanged rooms and they were comfortably all over my bedroom floor. The now cold bottle of what was hot water last night sat across me as my bestfriend. There was truth between us nobody knew of.

But it had fulfilled it’s job the previous night. I pulled up, my elbows shaking from the many days of nothing held down. I stumbled up, hoping to be dressed before my mother noticed anything amiss. She had already lost herself in anger, if she saw. If she knew. The world would burn to ash by that woman’s hand. And these days, my mother was not a woman to measure waters with.

“Rae! If you don’t get up I’m eating all your eggs!” My little sister’s voice screeched through the walls before the banging began.

“Tell mom I will eat later. Have a great day at school!” I called out weakly though I did my best to sound stronger.

“Please Rae, come eat” Reagan’s voice became smaller.

“I will, soon”

“Okay.”

It’s not that I did not feel bad about making my little sister’s world depressive. She was learning more about people who starved themselves and watching happy families who eat together on TV shows. Ever since my return, our lives were all lived in truth. I say so because before we were miserable but acting the part. Now, there was just no strength to hide it.

I felt guilty.

For letting it take over. Why was I being so weak?. It was the hunger. It started as a way to cope yet now I was addicted to the feeling of an empty stomach, how low I mentally felt and the weakness in my bones. I was addicted to the blurriness in my eyes and when my hands trembled it felt like I was doing something right.
Especially praying on an empty stomach. Otherwise everytime I ate, my body felt a little better.

And I hated feeling better.

My phone buzzed.

Which was strange. It never made any sounds since I had turned off all my active apps notifications. I peaked at the screen out of curiosity and it was weirdly my calendar. I frowned and picked it up.

16 August. Reagan’s birthday reminder for today.

I stood up quick and immediately regretted it when I couldn’t see anything but black and the earth began to spin.

“Oh come on.”

I stumbled out of the closet, this was a reoccurring routine of a blind girl. Well not completely blind. Just blind without my most priced possession.
I touched around my table until I felt my glasses then I wiped them with the end of my top before placing them on my face.

Uh yes, better.

Needless to say, they were a few adjustments to my body. A metal plate in my arm and a spinal brace I recently began to wear for 8 hours from my usual 13 hours over the last month. Whilst many people recommended wearing it longer, I wanted it off me as soon as possible. And the glasses were a permanent addition.

I rushed to brush my teeth and wash my face before rolling down the stairs. My mom was washing the dishes, too quiet stuck in her own head. Reagan was looking down at her breakfast moving eggs and pancakes around.

None of them were in this room mentally so they did not notice me getting my food from the microwave.

“Oh come on Reagan. You stole my eggs” I exclaimed, glaring at my little sister.

“R…but I didn’t!” She perked up, eyes full of tears.

I knew she did not need someone to ask what was wrong. We knew what was wrong.

“Mom were these all the eggs you gave me?” I tapped my mother to make sure she heard me without Reagan being reminded she was never mentally here anymore.

“Umm…I don’t knowwww. Reagan?”

“But I didn’t take her eggs” She pouted then sighed “Just a few but…but…but I gave her more bacon. See!”

I made my serious face then tapped my chin. I eyed my mom who wiped her hands and stepped closer to where Reagan was sitting.

“Hmm you know what we have to do”

You know what we have to do.

I blinked away the memory of Reverend Mother. Lifted the corners of my lips and sat in front of Reagan with a smirk. Mom attacked the little girl with tickles. I smiled hearing her laugh, the sound filling the gloomy walls of our cold home.

“St…sto-p!. I’m sorry…okay okay!” Reagan pleaded unable to stop herself from laughing.

“Mom, we love your breakfast…love it. Like a lot. It’s delicious, it’s nutritious. It’s…”

“Mom she wants something” My sister rolled her eyes making my mother chuckle.

“What do you want?”

“As I was saying…love your breakfast!” I added dramatically “But today is a special day for someone in this room. So they can’t just have this…no, no, no” I dragged Reagan’s plate away from her.

“You are not suggesting wasting food are you?” My mom squinted her eyes, doing her best stoic expression.

“Shhh we have a new born in the house”

Reagan squealed standing up.

“You remembered!” The surprise look on her face made my heart clench.

“Of course. How can I forget when the favorite was born just to take my mom from me”

“I did not steal momma. You are just not the best child” Reagan hugged my mom and pushed her tongue out at me.

“Mom. Am I not the best child?”

“Do I have to answer if i let you go out for breakfast and you little Missy to skip school?”

“Nope!” We said at the same time and I high fived Reagan already getting up and we rushed out of the kitchen.

“Come back before 4!”

We ignored her. Reagan was already budging in her room. I followed, took a moment before I entered her room just to push everything else down. It felt like I was forcing to start up a dead car when I tried to find happiness within me.

I stepped in.

It looked different.

Everything was white and dark grey. All the pink, gone. I sat on her bed.

“Whoaw, your room looks cooler now”

“You love the colors?. I like white now, it’s my favorite”

“White and dark grey?”

“Just white. Dark grey is your favorite. So you can sleep over in my room.”

“Aw Reagan. I will sleep over even if this room is themed snow”

She looked down and played with her fingers.

“You don’t want to be around me because I’m a baby right?” She gave me those big wide eyes.

“No. Of course not. Come here” I motioned her over and she stepped closer.

“Then why don’t you like me anymore?. Am I…am I annoying?”

“Reagan?. My little smart ass coolest sister?. Annoying me?. Are you crazy?”

She shook her head, no.

“I still like you. But I have been really really sick remember?”

“Yes. Momma said you had surgery.”

“I did. And it takes a long time to heal and it hurts a lot. I just did not want you to see your cool big sister cry” I wiped her cheeks with both my thumbs.

“Are you still hurting?”

“Nope. I’m all good now. Sooooo you know what that means?. You are gonna have me around you everywhere”

“Dad is sick too”

I swallowed, nodding my head in response. My father was a very sore topic for me. Though when I got back, he had been sick. Mom said he had a stroke that paralyzed him waist down a few weeks after my return. He was still sick, too sick to even use a wheelchair. So he was bedridden for now.

Safe to say, I had not faced my father since I was brought back. My mother tried talking to me about everything that happened but I just…could not. She respected that I asked her to not get involved in the now closed case of the illegal conversion practices the convent is doing.

It helped.

They helped.

Reverend Mother Helped Me.

“I’m sorry I talked about dad”

I realized I had frozen and the mood had become somber again. I hugged her. Though I wanted to raise her up, my spine was not that strong neither the metal plate in my arm that was yet to stop hurting everytime I picked up something heavy.

“We can talk about dad. Now pick up something to wear for our day together” I perked her forehead then stood up.

“Where are we going?”

“To…have fun” I winked and she huffed.

“But I want to know”

“Nope!. Be quick. I’m waiting downstairs”

I was about to leave when I noticed her doors had 3 locks now.

“Uh is that the new style?” I hesitantly asked.

“Mom said they will add mystery to my cool room” Reagan smirked and I nervously chuckled getting out.

Making my way to my mother who had some explaining to do. She was still in the kitchen, baking stuff out.

“Why did you add 3 locks to Reagan’s bedroom?”

“I thought you guys left” She ignored me.

“Mom. What’s going on?” I touched her arm and she stopped moving around.

“It’s nothing you have to worry about”

“Mom. Please. I need to know if Reagan is not safe?. Please, mom what’s going on?” I sighed letting her arm go “You said we were a team now, remember?. That I was an adult and you would tell me things so we can be a team. And I could tell you things too”

My mom nodded and looked at me. Her eyes scanned my thin body, sadness pooled in them.

“He tried to…change Reagan…he said before it was too late”

My heart dropped to my stomach.

“Dad?”

She nodded.

“After you came back. He…was angry at me for bringing you back before the time was right. So he was convinced Reagan needed saving before she…”

I sat down, too weak, still in shock.

“Where is…he now?”

My mom pointed at the guestroom. It had 3 locks too but on the outside

Was he a prisoner now?.

“It’s okay baby. He will never lay a hand on either of you two.” She rubbed through my hair. “Nobody will”

I allowed her to wrap her arms around my thin frame. She held me so gently, as if I was going to break in her arms. The moment was interrupted by a door bell.

“Hmm I wonder if the order is already here”

“Order?.”

My mom smile pulling away from. She collected her wallet from the top shelf and went to open the door.

“Yes. You thought I forgot to buy the little one’s gift?. I might have gone overboard”

I chuckled shaking my head.

“Mom, you always go overboard” I followed behind her, too excited to see what she got for Reagan.

She opened the door and I watched her freeze.

“Well let’s see…” I went to peek out but my mom placed her hand in front of me stopping me from stepping out. I pushed my head a little, too curious.

Thats when my body froze.

☆ ☆ ☆

Seriously?. On Reagan’s birthday?
I also forgot how old Reagan is so I’m just gonna go with 9? I don’t know much about kids

Vote and leave a comment for me
I appreciate you guys for staying.