Chapter 10

Raven

When I got to the Convent, I expected the worst.

I knew what conversion entails, or at least from the films and books I read. They always mentioned how horrible it was but somehow for me it was different. I started to think maybe this was not so bad after all.

That was my first mistake.

My second mistake…began when I was doing duty with Aurora and Claire in the prayer room.

“I think you should sing in church, Raven” Claire suggested, her eyes full of belief in her ridiculous idea.

“And why the hell would I do that?”

“Hey don’t use that language!” Aurora being the annoying tight stuck up, scolded me.

“Forgive me lord for I have fucking sinned.” I  placed my hands on the table a little too aggressively.

“Please don’t fight and Aurora leave Raven alone” Claire weirdly snapped.

“You keep defending her. Every single time, you make me out to be the bad guy for doing what we should be doing! We are supposed to be leading Raven the right way not encourage her ways” Aurora’s voice exhilarated its volume with each word.

“She is who she is!. People don’t walk around choosing to fall in love with people they shouldn’t fall in love with!. It’s still love!” Clare got in Aurora’s face. Her stunt was in full defense mode.

Was this even about me?.

“It’s not love, it’s evil!. Love is beautiful and a godly gift. Do not compare something so pure to something so disgusting!. These wrong impure unnatural acts and I can’t believe you support that!. It’s her fault isn’t it?.” Aurora pointed at me and back at Claire.

“Her fault for what?.”

“She.. she is poisoning your mind. It’s all her, she is changing you to be one of those.. those…p..people! She is a bad person Claire”

In an instant a clapping sound echoed through the prayer room that we were cleaning. I closed my eyes for a second and opened them to see Aurora holding her cheek while Claire was breathing heavily, face red and eyes open wide.

“You don’t get to choose who is good and who is bad!. You are not God, you don’t choose!!!” Tears ran down her face as she fumed.

I stepped forward to intervene but Claire bumped her shoulder with Aurora on her way out, pretty hard.

I was too stunned to even speak and I had no idea what was really happening. Ever since I got here, it felt like I was being tagged in these two’s arguments. But the more they argued, it was never about me. It felt like Claire was defending someone else and lately it was easy to anger the adorable nun.

Something else was going on.

“You see what you are doing?. Tearing our sisterhood apart. It’s not just about your ways with women, its just you…You are a bad person Raven”

Aurora stormed away after.

I had been told that I was not a good person by many people, especially my past lovers. Once my mother said it in anger. That I was rotten inside. I just didn’t care.

“Despite everything, the choir is a great idea” I heard from behind me.

I turned around to see Allita standing by the wall, her usual serious expression still on.

“Why would I want to join choir?. I hate choirs”

“The more activities you participate in, the less they will see you like the devil is upon you. That’s if you want to get out of here without a scratch of course” The quiet girl spoke just above a whisper.

“You think Sister Elizabeth would hurt me to change me?” I took a step closer.

“Hmm” The green eyed girl hummed in confirmation.

“No, if she wanted to hurt me, she would have done that already. She is genuinely helping me and I think I can co…”

“You don’t know Sister Elizabeth. You don’t know anyone from this place and how things work.”

A fearful expression flashed on her face then she was back to her old unreadable face. Allita was a mystery to me. But something told me there was more to her than what she let on.

“You were scared of me and I’m sure you don’t like me. So why would I trust that your advice is coming from pure intentions?”

“Because I need a favor…from you. And you can only help me if I help you get out of here…Alive” she whispered the last part.

Was she suggesting they might kill me?. That was utterly ridiculous.

“Just join the choir, attend Bible studies and lead prayers. Even go to confession and act confused about who you are. Talk about handsome men”

I opened my mouth to disregard her idea but we were interrupted by Sister Elizabeth.

“Allita, I asked you to bring Raven to my office. Did you forget?”

“I’m sorry Mother Superior. Raven was asking me about joining the choir and I might have gotten caught up in explaining” Her expression changed back to sweet and nervous.

Like I had spoken to a complete different person a minute ago. She lied so smoothly, it shocked me.

“Joining the choir?” Sister Elizabeth raised her eyebrow in my direction.

I sighed. Allita just put me in a spot.

“Yes I figured maybe I will start liking it if I’m a part of them. Don’t like them, join them” I shrugged keeping my eyes on Allita whose lip turned up in a smirk. It quickly disappeared as soon as Sister Elizabeth turned to her.

Who was this girl?.

“Alright then, you can sing in front of the choir and they will decide if you can join them.”

I was a pretty good singer. That was not what I worried about, it was Allita and her words. What did she want from me as a favor?.

“Hmm Allita you can go to Bible study.”

Allita stared at me, eyes cold then mustered the sweetest smile and looked at Elizabeth. I rolled my own eyes at Allita. Fucking two faced bitch.

“I Uh I want to join Allita to..to this Bible study” I could stab myself over and over again inside my ear just to avoid listening to these Bible stories.

But maybe Allita was right, attending these things would show people that I was changing. That Sister Elizabeth was succeeding and if they told my father, he would be happy. Love me again and I would be off to college.

I smiled at that.

“You are sure?” Elizabeth stared at me as if to check if I was bluffing.

Unfortunately, no.

“Yes. I think I want to learn more about these… scriptures. Get real guidance” I lied, from my peripheral vision, I could see Allita’s sickening smile.

“Okay. Let’s go”

A genuine proud smile graced Sister Elizabeth’s pink lips. She must have thought I was changing for the better now. I felt my own lips twitch. So I thought maybe I would lie more to see her face light up.

She looked beautiful when she smiled.

■ ■ ■

We are finally getting somewhere.
Just a few things to put in place before I focus on Elizabeth and Raven.

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