Chapter 39

One thing before we start reading… Press theee star you raging homosexual… Thank you😌 Now let’s gooo, let’s get itt.

Cainine’s POV.

I feel her move again and hold my breath, crossing my fingers hoping she’s not awake and about to get out of bed and completely ruin my sleep. She stops moving for while and then I feel her hand slowly hold onto mine that’s around her waist and remove it. Great. Thanks a-fucking lot Sparks. She goes to get off the bed but I move quickly and sneak my hand around her waist pulling her back to lay next to me.

“Good morning to you too” she laughs and I smile at the sound of her small hoarse morning voice.

“Mmhm” I hum barely able to open my eyes. “Where do you think you’re going?” I ask and feel as she tries to escape my grip again.

“Let me go” she giggles slapping my hand as my grip tightens dangerously around her waist.

“Go where?” I ask pulling her closer to me, enjoying the warm feeling of her body against mine. I know I have woken up a few times next to Sparks and it always felt nice and confusing, but it was different now that we were in this… Okay, now that I had put our ‘relationship’ in this weird state of limbo. Still, the nice, homey, warm feeling that gives me a lot of confusion and questions was there. Yet it always felt so comforting each morning I woke up next to her, that doesn’t change. I felt so at peace and kind of… Safe with her. Did she feel the same way or did I not bring her comfort?

“I have a test today Forbes I have to get ready” she squeals, laughing harder as one of my hands playfully gropes her breast. I hate the name Forbes it’s been nothing but bad luck but, I would let her use it in all ways, the way she said it just gave me chills. And damn it, when she moaned it. Heavenly shit right there.

I raise my head and open my eyes to look at the time at the alarm clock Sparks had neatly placed on her bedside table. Of course she had an alarm clock by her bedside though she had a phone that she could easily set an alarm with. That right there is Sparks for you “It’s 8.00 in the morning” I comment the obvious.

“Yes and the test starts at 11” she says and stops struggling to remove my hand from around her waist. I lay my head back down.

“It’s 8” I repeat. Because why would anyone want to wake up that early?

“Excatly, I have to shower and get ready before I go” she says lightly tracing my hand that’s still tightly around her waist.

“Bullshit” I mutter “If you have this much energy this early, it means I didn’t drain enough energy from you last night”.

She stays quiet for a while and I open my eyes raising my head to look at her curious what her answer could be, she eyes me then smiles sweetly. “You said it, not me” she shrugs and I shake my head grinning as I recall last night.

“Mmh, says the girl who was claiming to be afraid to stand up and walk to the car” I laugh as a frown instantly covers her face.

“How did you expect me to walk? It was right after and I somehow couldn’t feel my legs” she explains pointing her legs and my head falls back as I break into laughter. Her face when she explained that was just… Perfect. She manages to escape my now loose grip and sits up, glaring at me. “You’re an asshole, you know that?” she asks crossing her arms across her chest as she looks at me her eyebrows furrowed. This however makes it funnier, even when she pouts offense clear on her face.

“What the fuck is funny?” she shoves my arm lightly as I roll on my back still chuckling. “Ugh” she shoves me again but roughly this time then turns away ready to get off the bed but I quickly hold onto her arm pulling her to me as I sit up my other hand covering my mouth to stop the laughter. Why did she get annoyed that quickly?

“I’m sorry?” I mumble struggling to keep my face straight and contain my laughter. “Come on” I pull her hand one more time to force her to stare at me and she does, a frown still on her face “I’m sorry, it’s just that, the clear innocence and clueless-ness was so cute on you” I tell her and she rolls her eyes then pushes me back roughly “Ow!”.

“You’re a real ass you know that?” she raises her eyebrows.

“Well, I don’t know about that, I’ve been told I have a pretty flat ass, but whatever you say Sparks” I shrug.

“I haven’t said anything about it not being flat you know?” she says and I chuckle a little “Asshole” she shakes her head.

“Cammon, but I carried you to the car” I defend recalling her screaming and kicking the air for no reason.

“Yes, which I also didn’t appreciate or ask for” she points me. She was really annoyed about that though she laughed the whole way.

“I was just trying to be a gentleman” I shrug. “You remember Chris’ face though?” I chuckle again, the memory of Chris’ disturbed and questioning face, clear in mind as if it was just-… Oh, it was yesterday.

“Yeah” she finally laughs “He had knitted eyebrows, and a jaw drop… literally” she giggles. “Oh my god, do you think he heard us?” she asks a blush clear on her cheeks, but something else in her eyes. Excitement? Did the idea of someone hearing us fuck excite her? Well…

“What the fuck are you talking about, us? You were the one screaming like a mad woman… So yes, he heard you” I say raising my hands in defense and her face drops, her smile disappearing. “I’m sorry” I appologize, laughing again as I pull her into a hug and she struggles to push me off.

“Get off me” she pushes me and I chuckle as we fall back on the bed, her still whining and throwing a small fit of anger.

“I’m sorry” I say again and just let her scratch my hand and slap it several times, kicking the the bed before she finally gives up and settles.

“You’re not funny” she comments when I finally stop laughing. I turn and look to my side at her, she turns and looks at me too.

“Then why the fuck was I laughing just a few seconds ago?” I ask her and she roll her eyes.

”Because, you’re fucking crazy and a dumbass… An idiot” she says and I smile again watching as her eyes slowly study me.

“Then how much of an idiot must you be to fall for one?” I ask and she palms her face and sighs.

“You know, sometimes I think you’re better off just not talking” she says and I smirk.

“Oh, so you prefer my mouth doing other things?” I question my eyebrows raised and she pushes me back making me grin at her cute facial expresion. How could she look so cute and angelic, so innocent and pure. Too good for this world, yet so raw and sexy, so edible and just magnetic.

She suddenly pushes my hair back for me and tilts her head a little and I wasn’t exactly looking into her eyes but I could feel her eye me, intently.

“I want to get a haircut today” I say still not looking into her eyes. I don’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to look up at her right now, I could just feel how intense her stare was and I felt somehow vulnerable under her stare. I felt, scared… insecure even, that she would look right at me and regret everything, see the ugliness that’s pretty visible and decide to go.

I was already hurting her and giving her a lot of unresolved feelings from the looks of last night and I knew that she was too good for me. I knew that and was afraid that I would let her in completely only for her to figure that out and leave… Or worse, I would fuck it up all on my own and end up hurting her.

“You are so beautiful, do you know that?”. She suddenly speaks and my eyes meet hers finally and I see the sincerity that was so clear in them, that I feel my heart skip a beat as this warm feeling rises up from my neck.

What the fuck is this? In the heat of the moment, I grab the comforter and pull it up all the way to my face. It was all getting too intense. I hear her laugh a bit and can just imagine the bright smile on her face. Leave it to Sparks to tell me shit like that, and make me feel like it’s the biggest compliment I have ever gotten. In all honesty though, no one has ever used that ‘B’ word on me, and it felt different… good different, really good for some reason.

“Oh my god, are you blushing Forbes?” she asks pulling the covers off my face and I quickly try to cover the stupid smile on my face. I think I was blushing. What the hell…

“No, just thinking about my haircut” I brush it off and she chuckles ruffling my hair.

“Okay… I cant wait to see your haircut, you cut your own hair?” she asks and I look into her light, caramel eyes. How did she-? Never mind.

“No, Austin cuts it for me, and maybe he’ll add more colour to it” I say “I have to look good for my ex” I add without thinking and her face switches.

“Oh… how do you feel about that?” she asks and I shrug.

“Like I’ll be too high to think about anything”. Of course I was planning to get stoned with Aus before I meet Hays. I was even willing to pop some pills, whatever got me to stay calm.

“Courtesy of Austin?” she asks her hand slowly raking my hair and I’m surprised that for the first time, she’s not against me getting high.

“He’s a man of many talents” I tell her and she looks away from my hair and back at me.

“Do you need me to be there ?” she asks and I shake my head. Though I would love that, I needed to face her and Nik on my own if it came to face to face confrontation. Sure I was nervous and the thought of either of them made me want to throw up, but Sparks once said that maybe I needed to face my past so it would stop haunting me and fuck off. I thought it was dumb then, but now, I have no choice.

“I’ll be okay” I tell her and she nods.

“I know” she whispers, staring right into my soul and bringing out the fighter in me somehow.

**

“So… how do you want it ?” Austin asks looking into the bathroom mirror as I ruffle my hair looking up at him.

“Like the way you want your women” I tell him.

“Ohhhh… so short, dark and thick ?” he smiles picking up a pair of scissors and a comb from the side of the sink.

“I guess” I chuckle not expecting that to be his answer.

“Why are you laughing dude? you already that high?” he asks as he begins working on my hair.

“Not as much as I’d like to be unfortunately”.

“You need to be a little sober to make the right decisions sir” he says and I hear the snipping of scissors.

“You are no fun… at all” I point him on the mirror, and he looks at me through the mirror and smiles at me, flashing his perfect teeth and winks as I flip him off “Where’s D anyway ?” I ask.

“Oh he had to go check up on his mom or something of the sort” he says and I notice how off his tone sounds.

“Mmhm” I mumble, bending my head as he slightly pushes my head forcing me to do so “What’s up with you ?” I ask.

“So… I was thinking, I shave the back just a little…” he tries to ignore my question.

“Do what you want… just answer me” I say and he goes quiet as he walks to the cabinet to get the shaving machine I guess. I turn and look at him, finding a somewhat, disturbed and worried look on his face. This had to be good. I know it. “What’s going on baby? Come talk to daddy” I push further and he points the machine’s blade end at me.

“That won’t work on me now” he smiles a little, rubbing his chin. You don’t understand, this isn’t normal, Austin acting like this, it never happens, unless it’s something big… really big that’s disturbing him.

“For real… talk to me man” I frown a little, turning on my chair and sitting back to look at him.

“See how, we get stoned ?” he asks, sighing and I nod “Like realllly stoned” he says and I nod again, eyeing him as guilt slightly begins to cover his face “I kind of… kissed-” he clears his throat and I narrow my eyes at him, hoping it wasn’t who I was thinking.

“Kissed who?” I ask when he goes quiet just staring at the mirror behind me.

“Drew” he says and sighs when my eyes widen and jaw drops.

“What the fuhuckk ?” I chuckle, trying to picture how awkward the moment must’ve been then stop when I see Austin’s face, he looked kind of sad. I hope Drew hadn’t done anything stupid or acted like a dick “What’d he do?” I ask ready to get on a serious phone call with him.

“He… Kissed me back” he shrugs and my eyes widen even more, where was I when all this happened? “You don’t get it Nine, sometimes, we fuck the same girl and just end up-“

“Fucking ?” I half yell, my heart racing and clear shock on my face as I sit up from the comfortable chair.

“No… fuck Nine !” he yells raising his hand and showing me his open palm “We’ve never gone that far… just kiss” he says.

“How many times ?” I ask, studying him closely and he sighs pushing his hair back and running a palm down his face.

“More than a few” he shrugs and I sit back feeling like some therapist.

“Then why was this one time different?… I also wonder why I don’t know shit about that and I’m finding out now” I point out.

“Because, it’s never a big deal… I mean we just do it” he shrugs “And it normally is about the girl right after… this time was different because there was no girl, it was just us and fuck, it was so awkward after” he explains using a lot of hand gestures as usual.

“Well damn” I swing in the chair “How was it and how awkward did it get ?” I ask rubbing my chin and he looks at me.

“He’s a pretty good kisser… I don’t know, we were so into it before we realized what the fuck we were doing and fuck I feel like I might lose the best friendship I’ve ever had… Just cause of some stupid kiss ” he says kicking at the air and I wince, picturing how painful it would be to have them not talk. Fuck no.

“You think he went away because of that?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“Not sure… But he told me something about his mom before leaving today” he shrugs, walking towards me, ready to continue working.

“Oh, so he’s still talking to you?” I ask and Austin nods, motioning for me to turn around and face the mirror, “You like him?” I ask just so I could know what the situation was.

“No… Fuck no” he laughs “I love him Nine… But only as a friend and I wouldn’t want to lose what we have for anything” he says and I look at him through the mirror. He was being honest, I could see it.

“I know that dickhead well, I know he feels the same way, though he’d never say it. And trust me, he’ll brush it off like it was nothing and go on with life as usual” I tell him, bending my head as he plugs in the machine.

“You think so?” he asks.

“I know so” I say.

“I want that so bad” he sighs and I hear the general relief in his voice at the thought of having his friend back and normality.

“And you shall have it” I say and look up at him, smiling at him to try and bring comfort. I have come to learn that smiles really can bring comfort. From people you care about obviously.

“Okay” he nods, smiling back at me, his usual stupid sunshine, blinding smile “Look at you being understanding, Flame is really bringing some character development, I see”. And there it is. His stupidity.

“Can you shut up and just do your job ?” I ask and bend avoiding his eyes and the topic. Until we figured shit out, I refused to have much of a conversation about her.

“Defensive much ?” he asks and I hear the silent vibrating of the machine as he turns it on.

“Oh shut the fuck up, says you who has been keeping shit like that from me ?” I ask.

“Hey Drew was in it too you know” he defends.

“I know, but I expect that from him, not you” I speak a bit louder as he approaches me.

“No need to whine, you know I cant keep shit from you, I still told you in the end” he says and I smile to myself, knowing he trusted me.

“Cause I’m daddy” I say and he chuckles.

“Yeahh” he coos “Cause you’re daddy” he repeats and I feel as the machine comes into contact with my kind of trimmed hair at the back of my head and it all dawns to me. What the fuck was Austin doing to my hair? Howly shit.

“AUS !!, WAIT !!”, I yell, but it was too late and my barber had already started his work. I’d have to leave with whatever he decided to put on my head. Until it grew that it is. Fuck.

**

OKAY I HAVE TWO THINGS TO SAY !!. The first one is a theory, listen I think that spiders are afraid of themselves, coz… And I am not fucking around when I say, I was writing like just a few minutes ago and this spider was just walking on the floor towards me, and I had a mirror next to me, coz sometimes I look at myself when I’m writing, get over that. So I take the mirror and place it right in front of the spider and I shit you not it fucking turned and just hopped away or whatever the fuck they do. Yeah so… That’s first.

SECOND… Is to thank all of you silent and loud readers that have gotten me here to fucking 2k views, I never thought I’d make it to that, even 1k was a big deal, fuck I’m so happy about that and thankful. Writing kind of became therapy for me the past month and I love that you people are still here.. If you are here that is. Anyway, that you guys are still here after…. you know, loosing track at some point and shit like that, while I was trying to solve my feelings, means a lot. Thank you so much, I can’t thank you people enough.

Anyyyyway You know the drill, press the star and actually comment even a freaking emoji to let me know you’re here and the next chapter might just pop up.