Chapter 189

Present day.

Ruby was sprawled across the couch in her favorite duck onesie, her little feet kicking the air while Jennie brushed her hair.

It was one of those lazy family afternoons where nobody wanted to do anything.

Which somehow led to Ruby asking:

“Mommy, why did you name me Ruby?”

Jennie smiled.

“Oh, that’s actually a funny story.”

Ruby immediately sat up.

“A story?!”

Lisa looked up from her phone.

“Oh no.”

Jennie grinned.

“Oh yes.”

Ruby crawled directly into her Mommy’s lap.

“Tell me!”

So Jennie began.

“When Mama and I were trying to pick your name, we couldn’t agree on anything.”

Ruby gasped dramatically.

“You didn’t know my name?”

“Nope.”

“I was nameless?!”

“You were Baby Dumpling.”

Ruby seemed oddly pleased by that.

Jennie continued.

“Mama kept suggesting names.”

“They were wonderful names.”

“They sounded like CEOs.”

Lisa gasped.

“They did not!”

“They absolutely did.”

Ruby giggled.

“What happened next?”

Jennie gently poked Ruby’s nose.

“Then Mama suggested Ruby.”

Ruby’s eyes sparkled.

“My name!”

“Your name.”

“And then…”

Jennie smiled.

“You kicked.”

Ruby blinked.

“I kicked?”

“You kicked.”

Lisa nodded.

“Hard.”

Jennie laughed.

“We thought it was a coincidence.”

“So we tried other names.”

Ruby leaned closer.

“And?”

“Nothing.”

“And then we said Ruby again.”

Ruby was practically vibrating now.

“And?!”

“You kicked.”

Ruby slapped both cheeks.

“No way!”

“You did.”

“We tested it multiple times.”

“And every time they said Ruby,” Lisa added, “you kicked like you were filing an official complaint.”

Ruby burst into giggles.

“I picked my own name!”

Jennie pointed.

“See? This is exactly why Mama says you voted.”

“Because I did!”

“You were a fetus.”

“I still voted.”

Lisa high-fived Ruby.

“That’s my girl.”

Jennie shook her head.

The traitors.

Ruby proudly puffed her cheeks.

“So I was smart even before I was born.”

“You got that from Mommy.”

“You mean me.”

“No, me.”

“Me.”

“Mommy.”

“Mama.”

Ruby watched them argue for three seconds before announcing:

“I got my cuteness from Mommy and my coolness from Mama.”

Both adults immediately accepted that answer.

“Fair.”

“Very fair.”

Then Lisa suddenly started laughing.

Jennie immediately narrowed her eyes.

“No.”

“Oh yes.”

“No.”

Ruby’s eyes widened.

“What?”

Lisa looked at her daughter.

“Did Mommy tell you the other part?”

Jennie’s face instantly turned red.

“Lisa.”

Ruby gasped.

“THERE’S MORE?”

“Oh, there’s more.”

Jennie covered her face.

“Please don’t.”

Lisa absolutely did not listen.

“You constantly kicked Mommy.”

Ruby nodded proudly.

“I was saying hello.”

Lisa continued.

“Hard.”

“Very hard.”

“Like a tiny angry soccer player.”

Ruby giggled.

Jennie groaned.

“Lisa…”

“And every time you kicked-“

“Lisa.”

“-your Mommy had to run to the bathroom.”

Ruby blinked.

“…Why?”

Lisa grinned.

“Because you made Mommy pee uncontrollably.”

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Ruby’s jaw dropped.

Jennie’s soul left her body.

“MAMA!”

Lisa was laughing so hard she nearly fell off the couch.

Ruby turned to Jennie in horror.

“MOMMY, I MADE YOU WHAT?!”

Jennie buried her face in her hands.

“Oh my god.”

Ruby looked devastated.

“I’M SORRY!”

“You were literally unborn.”

“But I made you pee!”

“You were sitting directly on my bladder!”

Ruby threw herself at Jennie.

“I’m sorry, Mommy!”

Jennie couldn’t stop laughing.

“It’s okay, baby.”

“But I bullied you!”

“You were six pounds.”

“I was a menace!”

Lisa wheezed.

“You really were.”

Ruby hugged Jennie tighter.

“Mommy survived my bladder attacks.”

“I did.”

“My brave Mommy.”

Jennie laughed so hard tears formed in her eyes.

Meanwhile Lisa was still laughing.

“You should’ve seen it, Ruby.”

“No!”

“Your Mommy would stand up-“

“Lisa.”

“Take two steps-“

“Lisa.”

“And suddenly sprint.”

Ruby was laughing now too.

“My Mommy was zooming?”

“ZOOMING.”

“MAMA!”

By this point the entire couch was shaking from laughter.

Eventually Ruby climbed completely into Jennie’s lap and wrapped her tiny arms around her.

“Thank you for surviving.”

Jennie kissed the top of her head.

“You’re welcome.”

“And thank you for naming me Ruby.”

Jennie’s expression softened.

“There was never going to be another name.”

Ruby smiled.

“Because I voted?”

Jennie rolled her eyes.

“Because you were already our Ruby.”

Ruby beamed.

Then she looked at Lisa.

Then at Jennie.

Then she asked the most Ruby question possible.

“So…”

Both parents immediately knew they were in trouble.

“Can babies vote?”

“No.”

“I voted.”

“You kicked.”

“Same thing.”

Lisa immediately high-fived her again.

Jennie groaned.

“Why am I the only sane person in this family?”

Ruby and Lisa looked at each other.

Then answered together.

“Because you’re Mommy.”

And somehow that answer made perfect sense.