Chapter 22

“So was Benny’s too basic for you?” Mackenzie teases as we both exit my car. I grin at the way she slips her hand into mine so casually once I make my way round to her side of the car and lead her towards where I suggested we go for food.

I picked a small Japanese restaurant downtown that I used to come to with Clay last year, when we found it accidentally one day when we decided to wander around because we were fed up of sitting inside all day after a party. It’s a small little hole in the wall place that I adore when I’m not craving a greasy burger, partly because it’s not very well known so it’s not full of annoying freshmen or overrun with families like Benny’s tends to be after school. Clay and I came here at least twice a week for the whole of junior year, and we’d spend hours in here at a time eating, talking about school, doing homework, or just people watching. We ended up on a first name basis with a majority of the staff, and they ended up sneaking us a lot of food because they were so fond of us.

None of my friends except Clay know about it and Mackenzie will be the only person other than him that I’ve come here with.

The thought of it makes me nervous because this restaurant holds so many good memories for me, and I really hope I can continue making more, specifically with her.

I push open the door and hear the bell chime, the smell of food wafting up my nostrils and making my legs move on their own accord, my grip on Mackenzie’s hand loosening when a waitress I recognise makes her way towards me, a large grin on her face.

“Alex!” She gushes, speeding towards me and wrapping her arms around me in a warm hug. She pulls away and cups my cheeks in her hands, a stern maternal look on her face. “Where in God’s name have you been hiding yourself? We’ve had to half our stock order of teriyaki since you and Clay decided to stop coming here and not tell us.”

Gina Ancelotti is a brilliant woman who I adore with every fibre of my being. She’s in her early forties but hasn’t aged since she was twenty five, with stereotypical Italian American running through her blood. She’s tall and lean, with long dark hair that she always ties back into a low bun, warm brown eyes and dark skin covered in freckles. Despite living in America for over fifteen years, her Italian accent is unmistakable and prominent in every word she says.

Oh, and she uses hand gestures like the best of them.

“Sorry Gina.” I say sheepishly, scratching the back of my head and pointing at my company. “Clay and I hit a rough patch but I’ve found someone else to bring with me now.”

Gina tears her eyes away from me to look at Mackenzie, her maternal instincts kicking in as she analyses the beautiful blonde stood stock still beside me. With Gina’s kids being all grown up and no longer in the state, she projects a lot of her maternal affection onto me like Molly Weasley does with Harry Potter. I can tell just by the purse of her lips that she’s determining whether or not Mackenzie is good enough to stand in my presence.

“Are you going to introduce your pretty friend, or are you going to make me stand like this and pretend I’m your mother for a lot longer?” Gina sighs and relaxes her shoulders, her natural broad smile tugging at her face as she waits for me to make introductions.

Oh, and Gina was the first person I told that I liked girls, after she kind of caught me swiping them on tinder. Gina is also the reason I no longer have tinder and will never use it again due to the sheer embarrassment she caused when she caught me.

“Right.” I say a little too quickly as my face flushes beet red, pointing a finger at Mackenzie, who’s stood with an awkward smile on her face. “Gina, this is Mackenzie. Mackenzie, this is my third mother Gina Ancelotti.”

Gina offers her hand to Mackenzie after a quick roll of her eyes, Mackenzie returning the gesture with a strong handshake of her own. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I can’t help but get a little bit protective of this one.”

Mackenzie’s posture relaxes as she finally realises she’s not about to receive a third degree from Gina and lets her smile look slightly more natural than it did before, her grey eyes looking at me as we’re ushered towards a table towards the end of the conveyor belt. I walk ahead of Mackenzie, taking comfort in the feeling of her hand placed on the small of my back as she follows behind.

Gina gives us menus before disappearing into the back room, no doubt to let everyone know I have returned after being declared missing four months ago by all of the staff. I love coming here, but I didn’t have the heart to come in by myself and admit that Clay and I were having problems.

“So,” Mackenzie clears her throat as she opens the menu, her grey eyes staring at me over the top of it, brimmed with curiosity. “You and Clay seem very well known here.”

I shrug and offer her a coy smile, not wanting to be too open about the real reason why I used to spend all of my time here. We did find this place one afternoon when we were bored, however the fact the staff became my family was the reason I kept coming back. Truthfully, last year was when it finally hit me how hard being without my parents really was. My father had just become chief of surgery, and my mother had won the highest profile case of her career, so both of them were moving upwards with their careers at full speed.  My brother had just left for his first year of college so it was the first year I had been truly alone in my house. I used to come here just to I felt like I wasn’t by myself because I didn’t want to burden my friends with my loneliness. So I’d come here, and a lot of the time I would be by myself, just so Gina could help me with my homework, or that I could have dinner and not be by alone for one meal.

“What can I say, I like teriyaki.” I mean, I’m not lying, but the quick roll of Mackenzie’s eyes lets me know she doesn’t really buy it. “So, do you know what you’re getting?”

~•~

We stayed in the restaurant for over an hour and a half after we’d finished eating, the streetlamps outside turned on and the bars across the road opening up for business. Mackenzie helped me with my chemistry homework whilst we shared yakisoba, it was the least she could do after her mouth stopped me from completing it during lunch. We then chatted about everything and nothing, from favourite holidays to our least favourite toppings on pizza (mine is olives and hers is pineapple). I couldn’t help myself and flirted with her at every available opportunity, loving the way her cheeks flushed and her eyes rolled every time a compliment slipped past my lips.

“Do you want to come back to mine and watch a movie?” I say as we both settle into the seats of my car. I’ve turned on the engine so that the heaters start blasting warm air, my fingers slightly numb despite the walk from the door to the car being less than two minutes. I don’t want to admit it, but I really don’t want Mackenzie to go yet. I mean, we’ve been in each other’s company for just under two hours, but I spent most of the day ignoring her and I barely got to speak to her during practice because I needed to conserve my energy to breathe. I also don’t want to appear desperate for her attention, even though I am, so I will graciously drop her off at her house if she decides she has better things to do.

“I can think of a couple things I’d rather do.” Mackenzie grins, her cold hand coming to rest on my cheek as she tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. Despite the streetlamps illuminating the parking lot in a dim glow, I can still barely make out her features save for the shadows enhancing the contours and slopes of her face. The car was already warming up because of the heaters, but the way Mackenzie is looking at me has my temperature spiking. I watch with baited breath as her eyes flit down to my lips, her fingers tapping against my skin. She leans across the console separating us and lets her lips ghost over mine, the lack of contact teasing.

I find my eyes closing on their own accord, only to fly open when she removes all contact and sits back in her seat, a smug look on her face. “But a movie sounds great.”

My mouth drops open, annoyance coursing through my veins. “Why’d you do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me why you visited the restaurant all the time?” She rebuts, crossing her arms over her chest as the smirk never ceases. I sigh and spin in my seat, not willing to be blackmailed with my need to kiss her. I put my car in drive and set off back to my house, trying my best to ignore the quiet laughter coming from the girl in my passenger seat.

I’m unsurprised to find my house empty when I get back, neither of my parents’ cars in the drive and all the lights are off. I sigh inaudibly as I fish in my pocket for my keys, Mackenzie’s hand held in my other. I smile when I feel her squeeze it comfortingly as I slot the key in the door and twist it open, dragging her in after me.

“I know I’ve been in your house before but damn.” Mackenzie whistles as she takes her shoes off and sets them next to mine by the door. I’m used to people making comments about how big and rich looking my house is. Truthfully I’d trade everything in for a tiny shoebox if it meant my family would spend more time with me.

“It’s empty.” I shrug as I lead her upstairs towards my room. “It’s big but it has no character.”

Mackenzie doesn’t say anything else until I open my bedroom door. I watch with a smile as she throws herself down on my bed, a teasing smile on her face as she makes herself at home whilst I flick on my lamp and tv so we can watch Netflix.

“Do you want some sweats or anything?” I ask as I grab my own pair from the back of the chair. I don’t like lounging in jeans as it gets highly uncomfortable and it feels like the material is giving me carpet burn even though it’s not a carpet.

“If you’ve got any going spare, yes please.” Mackenzie stretches out like a cat on my bed, her fingers nimbly undoing the buttons of her jeans. I turn away before I see any more, my face flaming despite the fact I’ve seen it countless times before. I grab some from my drawer and launch them in her general direction, grabbing one of my brother’s old shirts and heading into my bathroom to change.

I turn on the tap and send myself a sharp look in the mirror, sighing heavily as I pull my shirt over my head and swap it for my loungewear, stepping out of my jeans and swapping them for my sweats. My skin still feels hot at the thought of Mackenzie undressing in my room, so I splash water on my face a few times in order to cool off.

I can’t help but think about how much I want to kiss her, and how much her teasing in the car affected me. I clench my fists by my side as I remember what kissing her feels like, my lips desperate to feel hers on mine.

A glare at my reflection has me spinning on my heels, my fists clenched at my sides as I stalk out of the bathroom. I won’t be teased, and I won’t be walked over. I’m Alex Doherty for Christ’s sake; I get what I want when I want it because I work for it. And right now I want Mackenzie.

“Hey, do you wanna watch…” Mackenzie starts, but I cut her off by weaving my fingers in her hair and forcefully slamming my lips onto hers. She’s surprised for a few moments as she doesn’t kiss me back, but soon enough I feel her lips move against my own. Her hands are gripping onto my shirt tightly as we stumble backwards until her legs hit the edge of my bed, my weight forcing her backwards onto my mattress.

Kissing her makes my entire body come alive with electricity, like the connection of our lips is the completion of a circuit. She makes me feel hot and bothered, desperate for her kiss like it’s my fresh air.

Her fingers are tracing my skin, deftly disappearing under the hem of my shirt and flirting over my back, making me shiver as her hands near my bra. One of my hands is propping me up, the second is cupping her face.

She suddenly flips us over, my eyes opening briefly as her lips disappear from mine, only for them to latch onto my neck and force sounds out from my throat that should make me embarrassed. I’m too in the moment to care, my mouth parting as I feel her nip at my skin with her teeth, no doubt leaving her mark on my collarbone.

“Mackenzie…” I breathe, feeling her mouth stop moving against my skin. She lifts her head and lets me see her eyes, the usual bright grey all gone and replaced with a near black colour, lust evident in her gaze. Her lips are swollen and her blonde hair is messy from where I’ve tugged at it, but she’s still beautiful.

I let my hand rest on her cheek, loving the way her head leans into my touch as my thumb skims across her bottom lip. I bring her head down and kiss her slowly and gently, the need starting to build up in my chest once again. She’s caring, parting my lips with her tongue as she stays propped above me, my fingers moving to grip the bottom of her shirt as I start to pull it over her head.

“Alex! Are you home?”

We spring apart like we’ve been burnt, the sound of my father’s voice outside of my door shocking both of us. I didn’t hear him come in, hell I didn’t think he’d be home till later. Mackenzie groans as she pulls her shirt back down to cover her exposed midriff, a giggle slipping from my mouth at how frustrated she looks. I lean over and kiss her chastely on the lips before pushing myself to my feet, fixing my hair so that it covers where Mackenzie marked me just in case it’s shown up now.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be back till later.” I open my door and find my dad about to enter his room. He looks exhausted, with heavy bags under his eyes and his hair an unruly mess. Yet he still manages to smile warmly at me, his eyes creasing at the corners as he wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. “Are you staying?”

“I’m not going to be here for long kiddo.” He says, his words bringing a small frown onto my face which I quickly try to cover up. He kisses the top of my hair before stepping back and smiling at me sadly, his thumb running over my cheek affectionately before ruffling my hair up. “There’s been an accident in Philly, so all overflow is being sent our way in the next hour. I’ve just come back to see how you are, you know I hate leaving you on your own for so long.”

“Yeah I know.” I feel my eyes get watery at the thought of being left again, but I don’t say anything. I just make my smile wider in order to cover it up.”Do you know if mom is going to be coming back?”

Dad shakes his head before running a hand through his hair, his fingers getting caught in the longer strands. “I don’t know, Alex. If she hasn’t text you by now then I wouldn’t wait up, you know what she’s like.”

I nod and watch as he grabs a bag that was sat on the floor by his door, an apologetic look on his face. It’s no doubt an overnight bag full of fresh clothes and necessities for a night sleeping in his office if he even gets to go to sleep at all. “I’m really sorry, Alex. I’ll sort a day out when its just you and me, I promise.”

I stand stock still as he presses a kiss against my forehead and disappears down the stairs, my throat constricting and hurt building up in my chest. Why don’t my parents ever want to spend time with me? Why are they always so caught up in their jobs that their daughter is a secondary concern?

I trudge back into my room, my eyes widening at the sight of Mackenzie in my bed, completely forgetting that she was here. I know she heard every part of that conversation, I can see the pity in her eyes that gives her away. I hate people looking at me like that, like they feel sorry for me because I don’t have a perfect home life.

“Don’t look at me like I’m a broken piece of glass.” I say harshly as I walk over to my laptop, my back turned to Mackenzie so I don’t have to look at her; I don’t want to look at how much she feels sorry for me. “Because I’m not.”

I hear Mackenzie sigh, my covers rustling as she no doubt moves around on top of my bed. “Alex, are you alright?”

I swipe at my eyes quickly as I feel hot tears slip down my face, my vision blurring slightly as I pull up the film section of Netflix. I don’t know why I’m acting like this, I’m not a pushover, I’m not weak. I’ve spent so much time alone that I don’t understand why its only just starting to affect me. “So do you want to watch American Psycho or The King? I’m leaning towards The King if I’m honest.”

I decide its probably better to ignore her question, because if I choose to answer it, it’ll probably be interrupted with me crying.

“Alex.” Mackenzie says slowly, her words sounding closer to me than her last position on my bed. I feel her hand on my shoulder, her grip soft and gentle as she spins me around to face her., her body inches from mine. She’s so close that I can see the worry in her grey gaze, her usually full lips pulled in a thin line as she just studies my face. “You’re allowed to not be okay.”

I breathe out heavily and look up at my ceiling, the comforting tone of her words springing tears again. I let her wrap her arms around my waist and I bury my head into her shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of coconut and vanilla that clings to her. I hold her tightly, my hands fisting at the fabric of her shirt, her hands stroking up and down my back soothingly.

“Looks like both of us have parents that don’t want to be around us.” Mackenzie says after a few minutes, and I can’t help but laugh drily at her comment. I pull away and see Mackenzie smiling at me, her grey eyes lighter than they were five minutes ago, although her smile seems more sad than anything else.

“What do you mean?” I say quietly as I wipe my eyes with the long sleeves of my brother’s shirt. This is the first time in all of our time knowing each other that she has ever brought up her parents, save for the fact they aren’t her legal guardians anymore. I stare at her and watch as her jaw clenches slightly, a confliction of emotions evident on her face. She is still smiling, even if it doesn’t quite reach her eyes like it did before. I realise that she’s about to take the first brick out of the emotional wall she’s built around herself, and my chest warms at the fact she’s breaking it down for me. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me.”

“No, no. Its fine. I’ve had a while to get my head around it.” Mackenzie says, tucking a strand of her white blonde hair behind her ear. “My parents kicked me out for being gay.”

My mouth drops open but I quickly pick it back up. Its like Mackenzie is turning my worst fears into a reality where a parent can reject their own child because of something they can’t control. The thought that my parents could treat me like a stranger terrifies me, because the love my mom and dad have for me despite the fact they aren’t around a lot is enormous. The thought that they could take that away and decide they don’t love me anymore because I like girls, is something I don’t want to think about.

“I don’t really know what to say.” I mumble after a few minutes of silence, my eyes raising from the floor to look at the girl sat in front of me on the floor. I don’t know how someone this beautiful, this amazing, this perfectly imperfect, could be discarded by her own family. I’ve only known her for a few months but I know deep in my chest that I’m all in with this girl, whether we go back to being just friends or progress into something more. Her gentle soul, sarcastic humour and beautiful existence has captured my attention and carved her initals on my heart. “I don’t know how your own parents could decide someone as amazing as you isn’t worth their time. I haven’t known you anywhere near as long and I know that I don’t think I can leave your life even if I wanted to.”

Mackenzie’s face breaks into a soft and kind smile, her hand cupping my cheek and her thumb running across my bottom lip. Her gaze is scanning across my face, her eyes carrying a delicacy that I don’t see very often unless its just the two of us. “Well, you’re pretty damn amazing too Alex.”

I smile and close the distance between us, our lips meeting in a quick and gentle kiss. The contact is brief, but it sets my heart aflutter as her lips smile against mine, my face warming at the way she makes me feel.

I pull away to see her smile, a sight that could make even the stoniest of hearts melt. She strokes my cheek before turning to look at my laptop, her eyes scanning over the screen before coming to rest on me again. “I think I’m leaning towards The King as well.”

I grin and lean over to kiss her again, enjoying the way her mouth tastes of mint and caramel from the chocolate she ate in the car home. She tears her mouth from mine and laughs, clicking on the film with her hand before pushing herself to her feet. “Alright Alex. Let’s put the film on before we don’t move off the floor.”

Frankly I don’t think I’d mind if it meant I could keep kissing her but I don’t say it. Because the thought of getting under the covers and being that little bit closer to her sounds just that little bit better.