Chapter 26

                                                                   Chapter Twenty-Six
                                                       ~~~~~ Kylie – Stress Relief ~~~~~

The days were dragging, much to Kylie’s distress. She still had forgotten all about it and now how nothing to wear for the party that was closer than ever. She had been sucked in all the drama surrounding the party that she had yet searched for a swim suit. Everyone was demanding way too much of her.

When waking up next to her girl, Kylie definitely did not want to get up. She didn’t want to know what else is going wrong, what else she needs to find a solution to. She had dreaded going to school all week since all the squad gave her were bad news. All she wanted to do was stay and hold Alexandria all day. The girl did indeed prove to be her stress reliever. 

She had spent most of the nights playing with the girl’s hair watching her sleep. This made Kylie truly happy. She was happy when she could hold the girl through the night and watch over her like Alexandria’s own personal knight. 

Rachael had spoken with Kylie about Alexandria’s nightmares and had asked her to keep an eye on Alex. Kylie wanted to know what caused the nightmares but knew that Alex would tell her about them when she was ready. Right now all Kylie could do is hold her at night to let her girl know that she was there to protect her.

This made her happy, simply laying with the girl doing absolutely nothing, worrying about absolutely nothing. This simple thing calmed her down immensely. There was something about just holding the girl and something about the girls hair that drove Kylie crazy. Now that she has slept holding the girl, Kylie felt like she could not sleep without holding and cuddling next to Alexandria. She never wanted to be without the girl.

When morning finally came, Kylie opened her eyes only to find a pair of dark brown ones staring deeply into her own. She jumped a little not fully understanding what was going on but when realizing it was just her girl, she calmed down and bent her head down to kiss the girls forehead.

“Morning, you sleep alright?” Alex asked closing her eyes as Kylie’s lips made contact with her forehead. Even with a simple touch Kylie’s lips were charged with an intense electricity as she let her lips linger a little on the girls soft skin. “yeah.” Kylie murmured as Alex hugged her tighter inhaling deeply.

Kylie raised her eyebrow wondering why exactly Alex did that, but the girls cheeks got pink as soon as she caught herself doing so. Kylie chuckled and hugged Alexandria a little tighter finding the girl really cute and adorable.

“I have a confession to make.” the girls voice startled Kylie. There had been a nice silence while Kylie was just playing with the girls hair yet again and Alex was lost in her own thoughts. Kylie turned to the girl curious as to what her confession would be not sure if she should be worried or not.

“I kind of kissed you before you woke up. I hope you don’t mind.” Alex seemed so ashamed as she confessed this to Kylie making a short laugh escapes Kylie’s throat. “I kind of feel like I molested you, even raped you, so please don’t laugh.” Alex hid in Kylie’s chest not letting Kylie pull her away. Kylie laughed but she hated the fact that she couldn’t tell the girl that she didn’t mind due to the fact that Alexandria will not let her go for her to do so.

“I played with your hair and watched you sleep for all these days, in a non stalkerish kind of way, so I guess we’re even.” Kylie said deciding that Alex was way to strong to go against so she just rested her chin on top of Alex’s head. Soon she felt Alex shift so she lifted her head.

“you are going to be late for school.” The girl tells Kylie with a serious face trying to get Kylie off her so Kylie can get ready. Kylie kissed her wanting to distract the girl and also wanting her to stop talking. It worked just seconds after Alex stopped fighting her and gave into a kiss that was taking them to places they never thought existed.

“You suck.” Alex said still kissing Kylie in ways that made her react like she never has. Kylie chuckled bringing her body on top of the girls not breaking the kiss. Kylie grabbed on to Alexandria’s leg bringing it up and put her other hand on the bottom of the girls head successfully intensifying the kiss. Alex made her way into Kylie’s shirt and began to traced Kylie’s back very slowly while Kylie traced the girls thigh causing a low moan to escape their throats as their lips moved together. After a while Kylie broke the kiss breathing hard. 

Kylie got off the girl and off the bed without warning. She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth leaving a very frustrated Alexandria lying on the bed. Kylie could hear the string of cuss words coming out of the girls mouth both in Spanish and English making her burst out laughing.

After she did her morning routine Kylie walked over to her room to get a towel for a much needed shower. She went back to the bathroom and locked the door that connects Alex’s room to the bathroom not wanting the girl to walk in accidentally again.

Minutes later Kylie was showered and shaved feeling clean and ready to take on the day. She dried her body and wrapped it with a white towel. She unlocked the door to let Alexandria in and went back to her room also locking that door to get ready for school. Looking in her closet Kylie had decided on a blue sundress with matching flats. 

When ready, Kylie grabbed her backpack and purse and headed back to Alexandria’s room satisfied with the way she looked. She walked over to Alexandria’s room and knocked on the door. She was surprised to see the girl dressed and showered. The girls spent a while looking at each other admiring the way each looked.

“You going out?” Kylie asked finding her voice. Alex smiled brightly still looking at Kylie up and down with her eyes. “Yes Mike invited me to come with him today. I don’t know where though.” Alex shakes her head unsuccessfully getting the image of Kylie out of her head.

“Have you done your math homework yet?” Kylie asked already knowing Alexandria’s answer. She watched the girl go to her desk and pull out a folder with all the work assigned to her. Kylie smiled walking over to her with the intention of grabbing the folder from the girl’s hands feeling proud of her girl. Just before she could touch it, Alex took it away from her reach with a devious smile. Kylie was about to say something when she felt Alex grab her by the waist and turn her body ultimately dipping her. Kylie blinked a couple times truly taken off guard. 

“Don’t I get a “good job!” kiss?” The girl leaned down and spoke into Kylie’s ear with a sarcastic enthusiasm. “Have a nice day at school Miss Balthazar.” Alex said when nothing but carbon dioxide came out of Kylie’s mouth. Alex finally kissed Kylie when seeing her tortured face. Alex enjoyed the moment since she was punishing Kylie for leaving her the way she had earlier. Kylie of course did not protest and kissed the girl back with the same passion. 

“Girls, breakfast is ready!” Rachael said knocking on the door interrupting the girls once again. Kylie groaned while Alexandria chuckled and brought Kylie’s body back up. “We will finish this conversation later.” Kylie told Alex giving her a quick kiss and then leaving the room wanting later to arrive already.

Kylie walked down the stairs with the girls folder in hand her lips still tingly from seconds ago. When she was checking to see if all the papers were in place, something slipped out and caught Kylie’s attention. After picking it up she began to read it out loud.

“She Who Haunts Me”

The title itself was the first thing that caught her attention and made her curious as to what else her girl had written.

“She has eyes that hold a hue of icy blue and foggy gray, they hold me in a deepest intensity I’ve never thought possible

I wonder what it feels like to look onto the work with such an intoxicating glances.”

Kylie was now beyond curious to know who her girl was talking about since there are plenty of blue eyed girls to go around.

“Her hair glistens in the rays of the sun with a blinding light as if the gods shone a light to be bestowed upon her 

She has the ability to make thy blush and creates a deep warms within.” 

“Kylie! put that down!” Kylie looked up only to see Alex running to her at an impossible speed. Kylie dropped her stuff and ran for her life still reading the poem out loud wanting to know how it ends.

“My stomach flutters when we speak 

The emotions she has ignited within this cage i call my body rage to be release before the diminish 

She has made me into a poet when i am far from one.”

“Kylie Balthazar I swear I’ll kick your butt if you don’t stop!” Kylie took off her flats and ran faster. She laughed at what was going on but never stopped running knowing that Alex would in all seriousness beat her up.

“The only solution i see is to purge myself of these things 

Either or i submit to thy.” 

“What is going on?” Mike asked as Kylie ran around the kitchen while an infuriated Alex followed behind. Rachael was coming into the kitchen when Kylie ran past her making Rachael turn to avoid hitting her but she then was almost crushed by Alex. Kylie resumed reading the poem as soon as Mike and Rachael were out of hearing range.

“She visits at night i am not exactly sure why but she gives me all the things i desire in my wake 

I don’t remember her name but i know she will return soon.”

Just after Kylie read the last phrase she felt Alexandria’s body tackle her down to the ground. She looked into the girl’s eyes and held her gaze breathing hard. “Did you write that about me?” Kylie asked her chest rising up and down while she tried to catch her breath.

Alex nodded her head not trusting her voice. This earned her a hug and a warm kiss on the cheek from Kylie

After she had eaten and said her goodbye’s and washed her feet, Kylie headed to school. From the second she stepped into the building, the squad was by her side all talking at once. Kylie took a deep breath and told the girls to talk one at a time. After each girl had a chance to talk Kylie was surprised to find that every detail for the party was set.

Her classes were a breeze after Kylie found that she had no more worries. In art all she did was draw her girl and tried to imagine her in a bathing suit. Her cheeks got red as she looked down at her girl in an orange bikini top and shorts since Kylie was positive Alex would never show up in just a two piece swimming suit.

“Hey.” the voice scared Kylie. When quickly closing her book she turned around to face the person who scared her half to death. She immediately reached to smack Anthony upside the head. Anthony and Kylie had become good friends. He had changed and was no longer the guy she had dated for the past three years but turned into a nice guy. They talked for the remainder of the period about the upcoming party. Kylie didn’t mind since the party was going to be held in Anthony’s house.

When lunch came they ate together with the rest of the squad and even Samantha joined in.

“Sam please we’re begging, join the squad. Kylie is making practices brutal. They are worst than ever.” The girls whined all having their best interpretation of a puppy dog face on. Kylie smiled to herself knowing the girls were in the best shape of their lives, and for that she will never apologize.

“Seriously, they were brutal when I was there. You really putting them through hell just because they kicked me out?” Sam turned to Kylie in disbelief. Kylie smiled slightly. “They had every right to do so. I was the one who kind of stole your boyfriend.” Anthony looked at the ground in silence not wanting to look at Kylie in the face.

“Hey listen to me. I don’t hate you guys. I don’t like the way you did it, but you opened my eyes. Don’t torment yourselves over nothing.” Kylie kept eating peacefully realizing that she meant everything she just said.

“Oh my gosh, Kylie is in love.” Sam said over-dramatically. Kylie quickly chocked on her food and started coughing. She lifted her head shaking it from side to side. This only made the girls ask even more questions. “I was wondering why you let this go so easily when any normal girl would be crying hysterically over me.” Anthony said getting a laugh from everyone.

Lunch after that was anything but  peaceful. The questions almost made Kylie blurt out that she was indeed in love, with a girl. With a girl that made her happy. With a girl who brightens her day just hearing her voice.

~~~~~

Kylie walked inside the house wanting to hug her girl. Once again Alex had not answered her phone nor was anywhere to be seen. She didn’t want to, but she pictured Alexandria holding Melissa again. This of course made her run outside to confirm it. Her heart seemed to slow down as she looked around not seeing neither of the girls.

When Kylie decided to give up the search she heard someone playing a guitar and singing. The music drew her in until she found the source and spotted her girl walking on the roof with a guitar as she was finishing a song.

~~~~~ Alex – Por Amor al Arte ~~~~~

“Por amor al arte

dejaron de escribirse historias para contarte

se secaron los mares de sueños para despertarte

por amor al arte

la noche se hizo de día

borrando la oscura sombría de tu soledad.”

(For the love of art

stories Ceased to be written to tell you 

The sea of dreams died to wake you

for the love of art

the night became day

deleting the dark grim of your loneliness)

Her face came to mind. She looked so beautiful even as a faint memory. Dad looked at her the way I look at Kylie. I saw it in his eyes that he would always protect her from anyone and anything. They were perfect for each other. ‘You think we can ever be as happy as they were?’ I don’t know but I sure hope so.

“Por amor al arte

la luna se bajo del cielo para consolarte

Las nubes dejaron paso al sol para iluminarte

por amor al arte

tu vida ya no era tan fría

y dejaste de sentirte vacía por tu soledad.”

(For the love of art

the Moon came down from the sky to comfort you

the clouds gave way to the Sun to illuminate you

for the love of art

your life was no longer cold

and you stopped feeling empty by your loneliness)

Was i ever in love? I love my parents. I love sunsets and the color orange. I love music. Though i have never felt such love for a person before. This love that my parents told me that one day i would find and that i should hold on to it. This love scares me.

“Y apareció en tu vida

la chica de tus sueños

tu princesa herida

y ella curó tu infierno

lo que tú no sabías

que aunque nacieras princesa

no querías un Romeo

esperabas a Julieta”

(And she appeared in your life 

the girl of your dreams

your injured Princess

And she cured your hell

what you did not know

is that although you were born a princess

you did not want a Romeo

you were waiting for Juliet)

I was never looking for love. This was suppose to go like all the other times I’ve done this with Cassandra. It was just going to be three months maybe even four. I was going to leave or create a situation in which they would surly send me back. I was not suppose to get attached. I was never suppose to fall in love. ‘Can you honestly say that you regret coming here? Do you regret meeting Rachael and Mike who have looked after you like their own daughter.? Do you regret meeting the one person who you look forward to waking up next to for the rest of your life?’ No.

“Nadie supo explicarte porque la querías

que el hombre de tu vida se llamaba María

pero escúchame amiga

si ella también quiere amarte

no hay que darle más vueltas

yo se.. que es por amor al arte es por amor al arte”

(Nobody could explain to you why you love her

that the man of your life was called Maria

but listen to me my friend

If she also wants to love you

You should think about it no longer

I know… that it is for the love of art

it is for the love of art)

‘If she loves you back then what is the problem?’ The problem is that I’m not the one for her. I’m just going to cause her troubles. I love her more than anything but I also love her enough to let her go.

“Por amor al arte

lloraste lágrimas de miedo hasta secarte

dejaste a un lado cada duda para lanzarte

por amor al arte

supiste salir adelante

rompiendo por fin las cadenas de tu soledad”

(For love to the art 

you wept tears or fear until you were dry

you left aside every doubt to throw yourself

for love to the art

you knew how to move forward

breaking finally the chains of your solitude)

‘Listen to yourself! You have been doing this for far too long. You are not his person. Mom and dad did not raise this Alexandria Santiago. They raised a girl who is not afraid to love and let people in. A girl who accepts she makes mistakes but is willing to correct them. Where is that Alexandria?’ She died along with them! Everything I was died with them the day they were killed in front of me. Alexandria Santiago was then killed again and again until after that until this Alexandria was left in her place. ‘Why can’t you fight to bring her back?’ Is that even possible? ”You are talking to me, so yeah anything is possible.’ I guess you are right.

“Y apareció en tu vida

la chica de tus sueños

tu princesa herida y ella curó tu infierno

lo que tú no sabías

es que aunque nacieras princesa

no querías un Romeo

esperabas a Julieta.”

(And she appeared in your life 

the girl of your dreams

your injured Princess

And she cured your hell

what you did not know

is that although you were born a princess

you did not want a Romeo

you were waiting for Juliet)

“Nadie supo explicarte porque la querías

que el hombre de tu vida se llamaba María

pero escúchame amiga

si ella también quiere amarte

no hay que darle más vueltas

yo se.. que es por amor al arte es por amor al arte”

(Nobody could explain to you why you love her

that the man of your life was called Maria

but listen to me my friend

If she also wants to love you

You should think about it no longer

I know… that it is for the love of art

it is for the love of art)

“What the hell are you doing?” Someone says from below me. I loose my footing when trying to look down and fall on my butt. There is nothing to stop me as I go down so when I fall off the roof I throw the guitar to the person who made this happen and hold my breath.

The water completely covers my entire body. I stay there for a while. Falling is not something I enjoy. When I’m calmed down I rise up and swim over to the ladder struggling.

“I would so hug and kiss you if I weren’t as mad and as wet as I am right now.” I tell her grabbing a towel from a cart right next to her. She looks at me and tries so hard not to laugh but fails miserably.

After about 3 minutes of hysterical laughter she calms down and dries her tears. “Why are you in a banana suit?” She laughs even more as I grab the guitar from her hands and turn around hitting the cart with the back of the suit.

“It’s none of your business.” I say under my breath and start to walk faster when hearing her footsteps get closer not bothering to look back.

“Come on, Alex, I’m sorry I laughed its just that you look super adorable in that banana suit and I don’t even like bananas.” She looks at me up and down engraving the image of me in her brain. I walk into the house and put the guitar down on the table while still trying to get a curious Kylie off my back.

“Oh come on Alex please tell me why-” I turn around and stop her. “Listen I really don’t want to talk about it.” Just as I finish Mike comes from around the corner and laughs at me some more.

“Mike I will so get you back for this.” I tell him when he gets out his camera and takes a picture of me in the soaked banana suit. Rachael then comes into the picture and laughs at me trying to get the camera away from her husband who has his arm stretched with his hand on my forehead and the camera on the other hand high in the air. I try to get close to him but my arms barely touch his body as he pushes me back.

“Why is she in a wet banana suit.?” Rachael asks looking between all of us semi concerned.

“You remember how this little girl was going to decorate my office?” Mike asks Rachael. She nods her head so Mike continues with the story as I still try to get the camera.

“Well since she is injured I asked her to instead come with me to the St. Josephs fundraiser. When we get there Alex here makes another bet with me and looses. Her punishment was to dress as a banana because the person we hired to do so had an emergency and could not go. The kids loved it and they even had their picture taken with Alex. I have no idea how she got we though.” Mike finally looks at me and then at Kylie when I back up and cross my arms saying absolutely nothing.

“She fell from the roof into the pool.” Rachael gasped when she heard what Kylie said and rushed over to make sure I was alright. “Rachael I’m fine just soaked from head to toe.” I assure her taking her hands in mine. She smiles at me and looks at our hands. We look at each other until mike speaks.

“Alex we are going to need you to change because you are kind of dripping water everywhere.”

I let go of Rachael’s hands and head to Kylie’s room after realizing that Mike is right. “Where do you think you are going young lady?” she puts her hand on the door stopping me from entering the room. “Your room has tile while mine has a carpet. I want to get out of this God forsaking suit and take a long cold shower.” I grab her hand and get it out the way. This time she lets me go.

Half an hour later I walk out the bathroom and go to the closet to find some shorts and a white T-Shirt. I grab the guitar that Rachael put in my room and begin to play a random tune. I let my eyes close and the music take me far away.

“Are you mad at me?” I hear her muffled voice and open my eyes. She then comes out through the bathroom door and sits across from me on the padded semi circle. I look at her and smile. She looks so sorry.

“Why would I be mad at you?” I ask her lifting her chin up so I can see her blue eyes.

“I almost killed you and then laughed at you.”

Not knowing how to calm her I put the guitar on the floor and kiss her softly. “It’s OK.” I whisper as I put my forehead against hers.

We spend the next few hours talking. I teach her a few cords on the guitar and she tells me things about herself. The time passes way to quickly.

I have no idea how we ended up from talking to kissing to making out to lying on the bed.

“Girls, dinners ready.” Rachael once again yelled interrupts us. My eyes grow wide as I realize that Kylie is positioned on my lap with her shirt off. I look down at myself and gasp as I also notice that my shirt is off. Her black bra is the only thing I see and cannot stop staring at it. I scream at myself to look away but my eyes will not listen. Kylie then gets off me and looks around for her shirt.

“Here.” she says throwing me my shirt. I quickly put it on and head out the room as fast as possible.

“What’s for dinner?” I ask looking at Kylie as she arrives from the corner of my eyes. Her hair is a little messy making me fix my own. When seeing me do this she quickly fixes her hair into a messy bun trying to hide the previous events.

“We need to talk.” Kylie whispers coming closer to me in a discrete fashion. I turn to her and shake my head no.

“So Rachael, how is the flower shop going along?” I try to ignore Kylie by focusing on other things. ‘It’s going great. Kylie has agreed to work for me after school is out so it won’t interfere with her studies.” She answers. After that Mike and Rachael talk about their stuff while I try to avoid Kylie.

“We are not doing this. We need to talk Alexandria.” She says putting her dish on the sink and getting a towel to dry the dishes I have already washed. I thought that if I washed the dishes she would go with the smiths to watch a movie but she stayed.

“I’m sorry I got carried away I should have stopped.” the words seem to affect her since she puts down the cup. “It won’t happen again.”

“I don’t want you to stop.” She wraps her arms around my waist and kisses my neck. I try to tell her to stop but instead my head moves back to give her easier access.

~~~~~

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Kylie asks looking straight at the TV. She had come a few minutes ago through the bathroom door and laid next to me on the bed positioning her head on my chest without saying a single word. I wrapped my arm around her letting it hang over her shoulder and bent my other hand below my head to get comfortable. I was watching a soap opera on low volume but stopped listening to it ever since I heard her knock behind the bathroom door. She had been doing that every night and every night she still manages to look so damn sexy in the t-shirt and basketball shorts I let her have.

I sit up on the bed when she asks me the question. Since I do not respond right away, Kylie moves her body so that we make a perpendicular angle. She lays on my lap looking up at me with those eyes twinkling in the dim light sucking me in.

“Why are you asking?” I finally find the words looking away from her torturous eyes to the TV not really sure why the main guy is in the hospital fighting between life and death.

I see Kylie play with her fingers from the corner of my eyes. her eyes no longer looking into mine either but straight ahead. Nothing is said for a while, we just go into our own little world. Placing my hand over Kylie’s seems to calm her down. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath thinking of the right words. I have seen her do this a couple times but have never gotten used to the incredible sight. Kylie is a really fascinating person to look at and study.

“Can you please stop doing that?” She asks her voice almost pained. A confused look on my part makes her be a little more specific. “can you stop doing those faces when you know damn well what they do to me.” the same confused expression is still portrayed on my face. I’m seriously not following.

‘that makes two of us.’ technically it’s only one since we are only one person. ‘You’re right.’ of course I’m right, I’m always right. ‘whoa there-‘

“Alexandria Santiago, stop talking to yourself.” Kylie says interrupting our, I mean my little argument. I shake my head and give her a small innocent smile. She gives me a look so i lean forward and kiss her forehead attempting to calm her down. Her cheeks turn a rosy color as my lips leave her skin.

“You see, you don’t even know the power you have against me. You Alexandria, are capable of so much and yet you don’t even-.”

When Kylie is talking all I see is her lips moving in the sexiest ways. All I hear is her musical voice yet I do not listen to what she is actually telling me. I see her eyes bare into mine which is enough to enchant me. All she has to do is something simple for me to go to the moon and back. She makes my heart beat faster by acknowledging my presence. She makes life worth while when I am around her.

“May I kiss you?” the words leave my mouth before I have time to analyze them interrupting Kylie mid-sentence. 

When realizing what I have said,I close my eyes and take my hand from below my head passing it over my hair not believing I just said that to her. Her chuckle makes me open my eyes and look back into those orbs of pure intoxication. She then smiles at me causing my heart to skip a few more beats and my head to Involuntarily lean closer to her lips.  

“only if you agree to be my date for a party tomorrow.”

I stop and blink a couple times. Did She just asked me to be her date? We have never discussed what exactly we are. I know we are friends, best friends even, but are we not also something more? 

Kylie’s gaze shifts from my lips to my eyes. Her soft hand then caresses my cheek warmly while still managing to send sparks down my spine. My breath catches as her hand travels down my neck leaving a trail of Goosebumps along the way. Her fingers then caress my bare arm in a slowly painful way. She uses the front of her fingers going up my arm and then flips her hand slowly making her way back down.

“I don’t do parties.” I say truthfully grabbing her hand. It was seriously driving me insane making me loose focus. 

‘You go girl! Stand your ground!’ I will.

~~~~~

“I hate you.” I say glaring at Kylie not hiding the fact that I’m mad at her for dragging me here.

‘You Alexandria Santiago are nothing but a wimp.’ Am not. ‘All Kylie had to do was say please, bat those eyelashes your way and smile for you to be drooling and accepting her every demand.’ I can’t help it. The girl is good.

“yeah yeah I know you do but,” she stooped dragging me by the arm and turned around  holding up a finger trying to reason with me but I still glared at her not giving up just because she looks super sexy holding that finger up like that. 

No I’m stronger than this. ‘Remember stand your ground.’ I will. ‘That’s what you said yesterday but look at where we are now.’ I’ll hold my ground this time even if it kills me to say no to that beautiful sexy adorable creature. ‘Snap out of it!’ oh right stand my ground.

Kylie then stops talking when seeing my expression towards her and gives me one of her most sexy smiles. My knees get weak and my heart races a million miles per minute as she gets even closer.

‘Hold your ground! Don’t be a wimp for crying out loud!’ Stop talking and help me.

“I promise to make it up to you.” her eyes plead for me to accept. After a brutal 10 seconds of staring her down, I finally give up. She just simply overpowers me and I want to get this over with already.

‘Wimp.’ I know but she’s good, too good for her own good. ‘You just used three goods in one sentence.’ Oh you can count all the way to three. ‘Watch it.’ Oohhh I’m soooo scared. ‘Dude you’re going to wish you never messed with me.’ 

“Just sit down and tell me which one you like better.” she pushes me down into a chair and kisses my cheek before going into the fitting room and closing the curtain. I try to focus on the situation but a few moments later I hear the curtain move over the metal pole and look up.

My jaw slowly opens as my eyes scan her from top to bottom. The bikini looks so hot on her no matter if it is purple. I fight the urge to run my hands all over her and when realizing that I shake my head from side to side furiously. There is no way she’s going to a pool party with a ton of guys looking that sexy. They will be all over her.

Kylie looks at herself in the mirror and says there is nothing wrong with it but gets back in the fitting room when she looks in my direction noticing my glare heading directly at her hot self.

The music changed into an upbeat song as Kylie got out to show me the next bikini. This time she moved to the music her hips swaying from side to side driving me over the edge. If we weren’t in public I would go up to her and kiss the life out of her. Once again I shake my head no to a green bikini since it was way too ugly and yet she managed to make the thing look hot and beautiful at the same time.

“Seriously that’s the 7th one.” Kylie grunted storming into the fitting room to try on the last bikini she had picked out. I know she is irritated but there was no way I will let her show up to a party revealing what her mother gave her.

‘oh hell to the no!’

I quickly get on my feet and grab a nearby towel when seeing Kylie come out. Kylie gives me a confused look as I desperately try to hide her. “Umm that is a definite no.” she tries to shove me out the way but fails miserably.

“There is no way in hell that I’m letting you wear that in public.” I whisper in her ear meaning every single word. Kylie turns around angry taking off the towel and giving it to me.

“I like it. And what makes you think you can tell me what to wear and what not to wear?” before I can respond a whistle catches both our attention. When I turn, I see Anthony with his eyes and mouth wide open.

“So this is what I never got to see.” he says walking closer to us. Kylie blushes and looks down. “Damn Kylie I’m so sorry please take me back. I was a stupid fool for letting you go.” 

My knuckles turn white as stone as I stare at Kylie in disbelief. Anthony grabs Kylie’s hand and spins her to get a better view of the red bikini. “I hope this is what you’re wearing today.” he tells her.

“Anthony what would Sam say?” Kylie puts her hand on her mouth in exaggeration.

I honestly couldn’t believe it. Kylie was actually flirting with her ex boyfriend. When i can no longer stand it i simply get out the store with all the other stuff Kylie gas bought.

Kylie didn’t even notice my absence, she was way to entertained with the guy that had made her miserable for the last couple years. My anger was in no way controlled so I went to cool off while walking inside the mall.

I walked in no particular direction heading nowhere. After a while someone grabs my arm. By the way the persons hands fell i can tell that the person is not Kylie.

“Hey I thought that was you.” Ismael says with a smile on his face. “Hey.” I tell him walking away. He doesn’t get the message and soon catches up to me.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to a friend’s pool party today.” 

No matter how mad i am at Kylie, i would never do that to her. I would never hurt her the way Ismael is asking me to.

“I don’t think I will be able to go. I’m not supposed to leave the house anyway, and I don’t do parties.” I didn’t wait for his response as I walked away with all if Kylie’s bags in hand. From a stores window i see him staring after me in disbelief. After a few more steps a girl walks up to him and pulls him in for a kiss.

Nothing seems to help me control the anger. I tried a shooting game and pictured Anthony’s face on the ducks but that only helped till i ran out of quarters and ducks to kill.

“Alex!” Now that voice I know and can recognize anywhere, but that did not stop me. I heard Kylie scream my name again as I took the keys from the inside of her purse and unlocked the car.

“Alex what is wrong with you?” she grabs my arm but I shake her off.  

“What is wrong with me? You are seriously asking me that!” She seems confused and a little scared as my voice elevates.

“Listen i know he was your boyfriend for three years and that i have no right to be jealous and as mad as i am. I know i am nothing to you but-” Maybe it was the way she looked at me or maybe it was the slap she gives me that makes me shut up.

“Get in the car.” I knew not to go against her orders so i give her the keys and go to the passenger side of the car. “Where are we going?” I ask her buckling my seat belt in. Kylie never says a word as she drives out the mall into the streets. 

“Get out.” She commends as she turn off the car, again my instincts tell me to listen to the infuriated Kylie before me. Having no idea where we are I get out the car and follow her.

“I never felt this way for anyone in my entire life. You make me feel and do things that are not normal. Alexandria I love you.” She looks in the distance with her arms crossed. The wind blows her hair back exposing her most beautiful features. My breath catches as I stare at her perfection.

“Por que me haces esto? No tenias que hacerte la persona mas importante en mi vida. No te tenia que amar tanto.” (Why are you doing this to me? You did not have to become the most important person in my life. I did not have to love you this much.)

“Umm dude, do me the favor and speak in English since i failed Spanish.” I laugh not realizing that I was speaking out loud.

I don’t translate. Now I realize why she has brought me here. She tells me she loves me but she couldn’t do in public. She flirted with Anthony for the appearance. I can never be more than a secret. Everything she has worked for would be compromised if people were to find out that she is in love with a girl. A girl who is nothing but trouble.

“You are not suppose or even allowed to love me. What we have been doing these couple days is wrong. I’m sorry but I can’t keep doing this.” I never look at her in the eyes for the fear of what I might see. Kylie lifts my chin but I look away.

“You don’t mean that.” Her voice is low and filled with so much pain. Tears threaten to escape but I fight them back and walk away from her back to the car.

Minutes later we are home. We don’t say anything to each other as we both go our separate ways.

“Hey ladies you about to get ready for the party?” Rachael asks as she sees Kylie and me enter the house.

“Yeah.” we both say at the same time. Rachael notices nothing and goes to her office.

“So you are going?” Kylie asks from down stairs. I turn around and address her.

“Yeah Ismael asked me to go with him and his friends.” The words physically hurt her. I knew the impact this would cause her but I never imagined the impact it would cause me to see her cry.

When I try to tell her that I meant nothing of what I’ve been telling her, she passes right by me running up the stairs and closing her bedroom door.

‘You are a jerk. Wait no you are an idiot. No you are-‘ You don’t think I know that?! It kills me to say those things but I don’t want to be her dirty little secret. I don’t want to have to hide from everyone anymore.

                                                                                                                                                End of chapter

~~~~~

“A message for people who care about our society, it is time to keep homo faraway, do not buy a house that a homo used to live in (it is full of disease) or a house near a gay’s house (especially if you have decent kids to raise), don’t let them touch your kids or talk w/ your kids, wash every place they touch before you touch yourself (they carry deadly diseases), cover your kids’ eyes when going by them, we can stop this values killing and satanic movement by following the steps above.”

Seriously dude if people like me are a disease why read my fucking stuff!! 

Alright i don’t know who the hell you are but I’m going to need to to stop sending me bible verses and homophobic comments. I really do not appreciate you leaving me unnecessary messages, such as the one above, and then deleting the accounts you created to spread your hate. You don’t even fucking know me to judge me or my girlfriend. I know that the Christian doctrine does not teach its followers how to be homophobic.

Please show me where in the 10 commandments or in the 613 Mosaic laws does it say “Thou halt not engage in homosexual sex.”

I honestly wanted to kill you when you said that she should have died and gone to hell, I’m not feeling Godly or holy at the moment. I did not appreciate you commenting on everything i write and telling me that I’m going to hell for being gay. But you know what? I’ll leave it alone since my girlfriend is ALIVE and people still find my work “AWESOME” and demonstrate it (And yes some of them are straight and religious).

So god bless you, because after telling my girl she should have died, i sure as hell won’t.

~~~~~

Sorry just had to get that off my chest. Lets start over shall we?

Hello, how you been? Miss me? Mad at me? Well umm I’m sorry. 🙁 i was busy trying to get my stupid girlfriend out of a fricking coma. She made it out of course and is her old idiot self again.

I know you are dying to know the details of my banishment so here it goes.

First Rebecca’s brother comes to my school and tells me that Bec is in the hospital. Then the doctors tell me she has a tumor inside her head and fell into a coma. (always wonder what was inside that head of hers, I know not funny) This is the second time I have to visit my girlfriend in the hospital.

Then my dad has some heart problems and also ends up in the hospital. 

Oh yeah then my sister looses her baby but it turns out that she really didn’t 😀 thank the mother fricking stars!! I don’t know how exactly it happened but I’m very thankful.

The hardest thing I had to deal with was one of my best friends death. It was hard because I didn’t have Bec there with me telling me that everything was going to be alright. She is my rock and I had to deal with everything without her.

Everything that happened made me realize that I wasn’t as strong as everyone thought I was or wanted me to be. I fell into a deep depression that lead me to cut myself.

I couldn’t feel anything. My entire body was numb and no matter how many times I told my self to hold on, I couldn’t find the will power to do so.

Since I was a crazy child I have scars all over my body (some in places scars should never be (blame Bec for those)). I didn’t want people to know or see the the cuts so I reopened the scars. I did this a few times and felt so relieved. It was a nice pain. I began to like it but never took it to the extreme.

I always read about cutters just never imagined that I would turn into one myself. The day I officially stopped was because of a girl I met here on Wattpad. She helped me through it and I’ll always thank her for it. There are no words for what she did. Sofie I swear that if I could I would hug the life out of you. but don’t worry I might just rob a bank to get enough money to visit you for some tea 😉 

The following day or was it two? I finally cried on Bec’s hospital bed hitting her for not being here. Bec made me promise her that if something were to ever happen to her that I would be strong and never cry over her.

“Who do I have to beat up?” Were her first words to me. I looked up to see her eyes staring back at me concerned. I touched her face to make sure I was not dreaming everything up. When I made sure it was real, I slapped her as hard as I could. She cried out in pain but stopped when I kiss her. (It was one of the longest kiss ever since I hadn’t kidded for for over a month)

To understand I guess I need to take you guys back three years ago. You all remember our little shoe story? (the one back in chapter 22)

Well after that I had the Quince and was glad that it was over. The next major event was the start of my freshman year. I was 15. (I kinda repeated the first grade. I was put in a special ed class because I was believe it not, dumb.) but anyways I hadn’t seen the girl I saw at the store.

I dreamed about her for weeks. Her face just appeared everywhere. There wasn’t a time where I wasn’t thinking about her and her beautiful face and tall figure. My mind played many tricks with me and I didn’t even know her name or if she was even thinking about me.

As the days progressed she came less frequently into my mind. When I thought I was over her I see her the first day of school. There she was with a bunch of girls surrounding her and laughing at her jokes. 

The day went by so slow. I didn’t know what to think or do. We went to the same school and I later find out that we even had PE Together. (for the record if you’re gay, stay out of the girls locker room, way too much temptation)

The days passed with me trying to build the courage to say hi. The thing about me is that I am not a people person. I don’t associate very well. 

So yeah I never grew the ovaries (see what I did there) to talk to her. She never seemed to notice me and I didn’t blame her because there was nothing to notice. I was just the girl with the geeky glasses and all the AP classes getting all the awards. And yet I was the best goalie the school had ever seen. Yep this short little critter can jump in the air and get dirty.

The thing is that we seriously needed in improvement in equipment but had no budget to buy it. The girls decided to do an auction where every team member would be auctioned for a date. 

The day of the fundraiser I put on my uniform, put my hair in a ponytail, get a bunch of air and go up the stage adjusting my glasses. (I told you I was a nerd)

The bets start of slow but then a teammate throws me a soccer ball and tells me to do tricks. I didn’t mind and begin to do all these tricks with the ball letting it never touch the ground. I was so into the tricks that I didn’t notice how high the bids were going.

“sold!” The auctioneer said ending the bids. I finally grab the ball and look up only to see her; the girl I saw at the shoe store.

If I haven’t said it before you should all know that this girl (Rebecca) is stupid. Plain and simple. Why? Because she spend $100,00 to take me on a date… to McDonald’s. Yep. Stupid girl. (I love you honey :D)

The date goes on so weirdly since I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that this beautiful girl had spent one grand on a date with me. But no matter what I told myself, I couldn’t help but fall for this stupid girl. She was one of the most intriguing people I’ve ever met.

Turns out I was in for a day full of surprises. She took me to so many places, places I have never been to. We talked and did things I will never forget. It was the best day ever, but the day was going to take a very unexpected turn.

A co-worker came up to me and asked me why I’m gay. He had seen me kiss Rebecca as she dropped me off and asked me why I chose this lifestyle when knowing that it’s wrong and that society hates me for it. 

He said that if I were his daughter he would kick me out of his house and disown me, that he would be ashamed to be my father or even be related to me in any way. 

I stared at the men who I have grown up with, the man who I have learned to love as a second father and smiled. He asked why I smiled at him so I hugged him and thanked him. This confused him even more so I explained. 

“The reason I’m gay is not biological, I was not abused nor physically or mentally, i was surrounded by heterosexuals my whole life so I was not influenced, but coming to the conclusion was not easy either. I spent months telling myself I couldn’t have these feeling for a girl. that even the bible told me it is wrong for me to have such feelings for someone of the same sex, that my parents would never accept me (Wrong because they do accept me just the way I am). I spent hours on the Internet looking for answers even looking for a cure.” (sad but true since I had grown up in a anti gay home it was extremely hard to admit it to myself and out loud) 

I’ve known I was gay since the first grade when I had the biggest crush on my teacher, Mrs. Arias. I used her daughter in order to know more about her but that ultimately backfired because then I also fell for her daughter. If that wasn’t until years later that I find out  Mrs. Arias is Rebecca aunt. Yep I was a player 😀

“But I found no cure.” I continued to tell him. “I found no reason not to keep loving this amazing girl who also wants to be with me. I tried to fight it, I tried to fight her. But I couldn’t do it, no matter how hard I tried, she just didn’t let me.”

“You didn’t try hard enough”. He tells me looking at the ground.

At this point I see Rebecca’s face in my mind. I see my beautiful girl who I had seen lying on a hospital bed dying before me, while I held her hand begging for more time. (This was the first time Rebecca was in the hospital by the way)

“Rebecca had Kidney cancer. The doctors said there was no way she would make it, it was impossible for her to survive and it was a miracle she was still alive in the first place.” He gives me a handkerchief as he sees a few tears escape my eyes , crying is something I never do in front of people, trying to get me to finish.

Cancer does not discriminate. It doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, Hispanic, young, old, have a family, if you are single, if you’re heterosexual or gay. It can happen to the weakest and it can happen to the strongest. It can happen to worst of people and it can happen to the best.

“I held her hand and tried to imagine my life without the girl who had stolen my heart with one smile. The girl who stood out for me and fought for me in that hospital bed not wanting to let go. So to answer your question, I choose to be with Rebecca not because it’s the wrong or right decision. I’m with Rebecca because when I lost her and saw the green flat line on the monitor indicating that her time was up, I could not imagine my life without her. And if I’m damned for loving her, than so be it! But I will not leave or stop loving her because if she was strong enough to fight for me, I will do exactly the same. I will not do what is right in your eyes or your judgment just because you think I am wrong for loving someone like you love your wife.”

I let the tears fall as I was remembering those minutes in the hospital room while he hugs me. My manager sent me home when seeing me like that seriously worried. Throughout the whole day I remembered the nightmare i went through.

The nurse yelling code blue and tearing me out of her side. The doctors rushing in with machines telling everyone to stand back. They shocked her for what seemed an eternity but she would not respond. The doctor finally gave up and called the time of death.

In that moment I felt the entire world crushing me down. I saw her body in front of me and could not believe that she was gone, that my one and true love was gone. The anger rose up in me in an instant. She had made me meet her parents on our very first date and had also forgotten to tell me the simple fact that she was dying. (sarcasm people)

She had made herself the most important person in my life in such a short amount of time. She had given me some of the best memories and moments of my life. (I never had a serious girlfriend or felt such emotions for someone other than my books) She had made me love her. Rebecca had made me love her knowing that she might die and would leave me any day. I hated her more than I’ve ever hated anyone in my life. I hated her for not telling me she could die so I could prepare myself for the pain of loosing her. I hated her for everything she ever did or said to me. I hated her for putting me through this on our first date. I hated her for dying.

The doctor turned to me looking pained and tired. Rebecca was his miracle case and now she was gone. Words could not leave his mouth as he stared at me and than at Rebecca. I stopped him and went straight to Rebecca. 

Knowing that she could no longer feel pain, I slapped her at least 5 times. Then I balled my fist and hit her straight in the heart. I wanted to make sure she felt what I was feeling. I wanted her to feel my pain even though she could no longer feel pain.

What happened next was described as miraculous by many people. The machine started to beep again causing all eyes to stare at it. The line was no longer flat, it was moving up and down at a slow rate. The doctor hurried do her side to check her out. I left the room and ran away. Rebecca was alive. She was back. 

Her recovery was incredibly fast after she got a donor. She called, emailed, texted, even went old style and sent me a written letter, but I would not respond. Months later when she was recovered healthy and strong she came looking for me at my house when my parents were out of town. Her hair was growing and she had the biggest smile on her face. I took her to my basement and told her to put on some gloves. I kicked her healthy ass punching her with all my might. When I was done I helped her up and told her to go home. She of course did not go and pinned me easily to the ground. I couldn’t move an inch without hurting myself. “Are you done?” she asked me looking at me straight in the eyes. I nodded and gave up. Rebecca then helped me up and sat on a chair all sweaty and with a busted lip.

“If i would have told you that i had cancer you would have never gone out with me. You would pity me like everyone else.” she leaned forward putting her elbows in her knees and looked down with tears in her eyes. “I never meant for this to happen. I will admit that at first I was mad at the world and wanted to punish someone. I made you doubt everything you stood for, I let you fall in love with me. It all backfired since I slowly fell for you too.” she didn’t speak for a solid hour. We just looked at each other without moving without speaking without looking away. I told her everything with just one look and so did she.

Bec may not be perfect. She’s lazy at times. She cusses, not saying I don’t because I do, a lot. She is sometimes selfish. She’s arrogant and cocky. She can be a pain in the ass. My point is that she can do bad things but that necessarily does not make her a bad person. Rebecca is in any case human meaning she makes mistakes. But what makes Rebecca special, what makes her incredible, is exactly those imperfections in her.

My girl and I have basically gone through hell and back. We are stronger when we are together. We make each others day. 

So if I have to burn in the depths of hell because of it, I’m thankful that I found her here on earth where everyday I see or talk to her I feel is my heaven on earth.

There are 7 billion people on this earth. 7 billion. I found the one i want. There are 24 hours in a day. There is only 60 minutes in an hour. And only 60 seconds in a minute. I choose to spend these seconds loving Bec. I spend them laughing with my girl. I spend them fighting over the most stupidest things (sofie and many others have umm yeah had to put up with our little tights, sorry guys). I spend them living the life I want with her.

Poem Provided By : Th3WolfInDisguis3

The Song : Por Amor Al Arte by Ivan Guevara

Movie in Song : I Can’t Think Straight one of my favorites movies of all time!!

So what do you think should I keep going? Was it worth the long long long long (You get the point) wait?

-Alba Luz :^)