Chapter 80

Lena’s POV

I had never run through the halls of this palace like this in years.

Ever since I was young, every step I took had always been watched. Measured. Corrected.

Walk slower, Lady Lena.

Straighten your posture.

A lady must remain graceful at all times.

I had heard those words my entire life.

But somehow… none of those rules had ever existed whenever Matthew was beside me.

Back then, I had done things I would never dare tell another soul even now. Sneaking through hidden corridors in the dead of night. Climbing palace walls just to avoid servants. Escaping lessons together. Running breathlessly through gardens while laughing like lunatics before the guards could catch us.

It was reckless.

Improper.

Completely absurd.

And yet…

Those had been some of the happiest moments of my life.

But tonight, there was no laughter echoing through these halls.

Only the frantic sound of my footsteps.

Servants moved aside in alarm as I rushed past them, barely hearing the greetings thrown my way. My chest burned from how fast I had run since arriving at the palace, but I could not stop. I could not slow down.

Not until I saw her with my own eyes.

“Your Majesty—!”

“Daliah, where’s Miu?” I asked immediately, cutting her off before she could finish greeting me.

Daliah blinked in surprise at my ragged breathing. “She’s asleep, but—”

I was already running again before she could finish.

Behind me, I faintly heard her mutter, “Oh my…”

But by then I had already turned the final corner leading toward my chambers.

And suddenly—

My body weakened.

All at once.

My trembling hand stopped against the doorknob as my breathing staggered unevenly.

Please…

Please be alright…

The prayer slipped soundlessly through my mind as I slowly pushed the door open.

Darkness welcomed me.

Only a few dim lamps glowed softly near the corners of the room while pale moonlight spilled through the curtains, bathing everything in silver.

I closed the door carefully behind me.

Quietly.

As though even the slightest noise might shatter something fragile.

Then my eyes found the figure lying on the bed.

For a moment, I could not move.

I simply stared.

My chest tightened so painfully I thought I might collapse right there.

Is she hurt?

I tried searching her body from where I stood, trying desperately to make sense of her condition in the dim room, but the shadows made everything unclear. So slowly, weakly, I forced myself forward until I finally reached her bedside.

And there she was.

Peaceful.

Breathing.

Alive.

I stared at her face for several long seconds, trying to convince myself this was real.

She’s here.

She’s safe.

She’s alive.

I repeated those words over and over inside my head as though saying them enough times would stop the terror clawing through me.

But instead, my knees finally gave out.

I slumped beside the bed, one hand gripping the mattress tightly as I struggled to breathe through the crushing relief flooding my chest.

“Haa…” The sound that escaped me barely resembled a breath anymore.

Before I realized it, tears were already falling down my face.

Slowly, I crawled closer and reached for her hand with trembling fingers.

“Thank you…” My voice cracked apart so badly I could barely recognize it myself. “Dear gods… thank you…”

I lifted my shaking hand toward her face, wanting to touch her, to reassure myself she was truly here—

But then her eyes fluttered open.

“Lena…?”

My breath caught instantly.

I wiped at my tears in panic and quickly sat beside her. “Yes,” I whispered hoarsely. “I’m here.”

The moment she heard my voice, Miu jolted upright with wide eyes.

“I thought…” Her voice trembled weakly. “I thought I was dreaming…”

The exhaustion in her face shattered me all over again.

“This isn’t a dream, right?” she asked softly, staring at me like she was afraid I would disappear if she blinked. “You’re really back…?”

Her voice broke at the end.

And that was enough.

I could not hold myself together anymore.

I wrapped my arms around her immediately and pulled her against me as tightly as I could.

The moment I did, her sobs burst free.

“I…” Miu’s voice cracked violently against my shoulder. “I thought I’d never see you again…”

I buried my face against her neck, holding her even tighter as tears streamed uncontrollably down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered shakily. “I’m sorry for leaving you alone, my love…”

Her body trembled in my arms as she cried, and only then did I realize how terrified she must have been this entire time.

I closed my eyes tightly and cradled her closer, as though I could shield her from the entire world if I held on hard enough.

Never again.

The words echoed fiercely inside me.

Never again.

Not through war.

Not through fate.

Not through heaven or hell itself.

I had already lost her once before.

I would not survive losing her again.

We stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for a long while after our sobs finally quieted. The room fell still once more, filled only with the sound of our uneven breathing and the occasional tremble that still escaped us whenever the emotions surged too strongly again. 

Even then, I could not let her go. My arms remained around her tightly, almost desperately, as though loosening my hold would somehow let fate snatch her away from me again.

But then, it was Miu who finally pulled back first.

“You need to be careful when hugging me like that…”

Her voice had softened now, lighter after crying, though exhaustion still lingered beneath it. I stared at her blankly at first, too overwhelmed to understand what she meant. Then my eyes followed the movement of her hands as they slowly rested over her stomach.

“We wouldn’t want our lovely child getting hurt, no?”

The world stopped.

I froze completely as her words echoed through my mind again and again.

Our lovely child.

My breath hitched violently. My hand rose instinctively to cover my mouth as I stared at her in disbelief.

Does that mean…?

My vision blurred almost immediately.

Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks before I could even process the emotions crashing through me. I laughed weakly through them, though the sound came out broken and breathless. I could not tell anymore whether I was crying harder or smiling wider.

I just knew I felt like my entire body had suddenly lost all strength.

Not from fear this time.

But from happiness so overwhelming it physically hurt.

A family.

With her.

Dear gods…

Can I truly be allowed this much happiness?

I felt myself melt against her as I slowly lowered my head, resting my forehead carefully against her stomach. My shoulders trembled while tears continued falling freely onto her clothes.

I had already thanked every god I knew the moment I saw her alive tonight. Seeing her breathing peacefully had already felt like more mercy than I deserved after the terror that consumed me the entire journey home.

But this…

This was beyond anything I had ever dared ask for.

A family with the only person I had ever truly loved.

I let out a shaky laugh again, completely helpless against the emotions overtaking me. Then slowly, almost reverently, I placed my hands over hers where they rested protectively on her stomach.

Warm.

Gentle.

Real.

“You two are my everything…” I whispered before I could stop myself.

For so many years, I had convinced myself happiness was temporary. Fragile. Something the gods dangled before me only to cruelly tear away in the end. I had already lost Matthew once. Lost entire pieces of myself alongside him. Somewhere along the way, I had accepted that perhaps love and grief would always come hand in hand for someone like me.

Yet here she was.

Alive.

In my arms.

And carrying our child.

I closed my eyes tightly as another sob escaped me, quieter this time, full of gratitude instead of fear. Then I leaned forward carefully and pressed a trembling kiss against her stomach before resting there again.

At that moment, nothing else in the world mattered.

Not the possibility of another war.

Not the throne.

Not the bloodshed waiting outside these palace walls.

Only this.

Only her.

And the small, fragile future we had somehow created together despite everything the world had done to tear us apart.