Chapter 2

She told me, “I grew up swimming in a family pool and I always dressed modestly. A few weeks ago I swam in the university pool and I wore something other girls would wear. You know, something small. I wanted to be brave and confident with my body. But I noticed glances in my direction after getting out of the pool. Then glances in the shower. You know, down there.”

Eventually I learned that she’d never watched porn before, which to me, makes her a rare gem. But at the time I thought she had major self-esteem issues, which I could empathize with. Most people go through that. She must have noticed an expression on my face; I understood her, but I couldn’t understand what the exact issue was.

That was the moment Ellary lifted the front of her skirt and pulled her panties aside in a flashing motion. Her legs were still closed so I only got a partial view, but it was enough to show what she wanted to show. Beneath her curly, black pubic hairs was her labia. It was a dark brown shade, which contrasted her light skin, and it was thick. Not obscenely large, but I could see why it would capture the attention of students in the locker room.

She covered herself after letting me look for a few seconds, smoothing her skirt and adjusting her seat, her face turning red as if she were certain that our relationship would be over, or that I’d report her for this. When I asked why she showed me, Ellary said that she wasn’t sure, that she trusted me and wanted someone to confide in.

I immediately thought of that time in the shower when I overheard students talking about eating out a professor. For a split second I wondered if Ellary was trying to make that same proposition, but I dismissed that idea. There was an innocence to what she did. She was trying to come to terms with a body that had turned into a woman’s body. More particularly, her labia.

I could relate to what she was feeling. On the other hand, I found myself becoming aroused while looking into her eyes, knowing what her labia was like. She waited for my reaction. To scold her, to validate her feelings. Anything. For whatever reason I was the person she wanted to confide in, so how could I reject that? All I ever wanted was to be relatable to my students.

Her mouth opened and her eyes drifted down when I undid my pants and pulled everything to my knees. She saw what I had. Unlike her, I was shaved. Our commonality is that we were built the same in many ways. I let her stare at it, more than the few seconds she had given me to stare at her pussy. I let her take all the time she needed to feel normal.

When she asked if she could touch it, I let her. She scooted her seat next to mine, awe-struck by what she was seeing. To her, this wasn’t completely sexual. I saw the curiosity in her eyes. There was a genuine expression. As I mentioned, I later learned that she’d never watched porn before, so in many ways this was a proper education for her. Or an introduction, that would be a more appropriate phrasing.

But to me, I hadn’t felt so aroused in years. Showing myself to a student was crossing ethical lines that I had vowed to never cross. It had never been my interest either. But when she touched me, my world was electrified. The taboo had been broken. The seal lifted. My eyes kept darting to the unlocked door. Anyone could have entered and my career would have been over.

I allowed Ellary to give me an orgasm. She touched me the way she’d touch herself. Circular strokes in a gentle fashion, then hard, more intense at the end. I didn’t warn her that I was going to squirt. I felt it coming but I was afraid she’d stop. A small part of me, that deviant side which exists in everyone, wanted to see how she’d react to squirt. To surprise her.

The squirt gushed all over the seat and ruined my pants and undergarments. The whole time, she didn’t stop. She let it go, her fingers in constant motion until I was drained. I remember my toes curling inside my shoes and my eyes rolling back when it happened. Super intense. My first time cumming in the office. Ellary’s eyes were like saucers. It was a miracle to her.

I grabbed a few tissues from my desk and wiped my hands and cleaned what I could. I excused myself and washed myself in the bathroom down the hall. I had to walk briskly because my pants were a mess. When I returned to my office with wet sheets of paper towels to clean my chair and floor, Ellary was still there waiting for me. She was sitting upright with perfect posture, not in a sexual way, but she wanted to learn. To continue our conversation.

We talked for nearly an hour and I remember the whole thing vividly. She wanted to know all there was about my sexuality and what just happened. I was happy to tell her. It was like a mutually beneficial relationship where both of us got the outlet we’d been seeking.

Did you think that was the climax of this story? I wish.

About a week later the club had reached 14 members. All the new members were friends of hers, mostly Jewish, a few Muslim, mostly first-year students, all of them women. They were academic, booksmart types. Most of them are STEM majors, a few were in liberal arts. Many of them are international students and my theory was that they bonded from having the same outsider status.

I was thrilled by the development and helped in an advisory capacity as she prepared her Hanukkah events and programs for the club. To clarify, it was going to be something that was open to the whole campus, and they’d have other programs for other religious holidays as well.

What I didn’t yet know, however, was that Ellary had told her friends about the office incident. Naturally I thought my career was over, that they’d tell their friends, who would then tell their friends, until the whole campus and administrators would eventually find out. Ellary assured me this wouldn’t be the case. That the group had the same open-minded approach.

The first meeting since the sudden expansion was awkward for me because most of the students knew what I’d done. And what I’m capable of doing. The meeting itself was productive and I admired the way Ellary pushed through her shyness and led from the top. She had a vision and the other students were like-minded with the same goal. Most of the meeting centered around a Hanukkah lighting that would take place on campus, followed by interfaith dialogue

I was thankful getting out of there with my pride intact because no one broached the ‘other’ subject, though I’m certain it’s what many of the members were thinking.

A week later was the crucial meeting, because they were days away from doing the Hanukkah lighting, the first planned celebration before moving on to different cultures. I was late to that meeting because finals were approaching and I had the normal surge of students during my office hours.

I rushed to the late-afternoon meeting, having missed a half hour, and when I opened the door I saw a huddled group of young women. They were sitting with their seats arranged in a tight circle, while Ellary stood in front of them. No one said anything. A few girls glanced in my direction as I closed the door, then looked back at her.

When I got closer I realized that Ellary’s skirt was lifted and they were all looking at her pussy. She was clean shaven this time. She was petting her labia like a kitty, with soft, gentle strokes. The girls were mesmerized by it. So was I. In my younger days I’d taken nude drawing classes before, so seeing nudity in a classroom had become normal for me.

There’s something striking, however, about academic-minded girls admiring a Jewish pussy in a manner that goes beyond art. This was sexual curiosity. It was Ellary having a chance to share and explore her body with like-minded girls. And it was a chance for the girls to see something new. Something, perhaps, they could relate to. And together, as a group, they could feel seen. Isn’t that what all young people growing into their bodies want? To be seen?

I took a seat by the wall because I didn’t want to disturb their process. I watched the girls staring at the labia. Ellary’s pussy is suckable and delightful to stare at. I watched her exhibit her sex in different ways, using her fingertips to rub the brown labia, stroking each side, and when she’d use her fingertips to spread her labia, the students would lean forward to get a better view of the pinkness.

Ellary ended the show when I noticed she was about to cum. I think the other students had no idea how close they were to seeing an actual orgasm. She smoothed her skirt down and pulled her panties up, followed by an awkward, blushing smile. The awkwardness was shared amongst the students, some of whom were thinking about clapping, but weren’t sure if that was appropriate, so they just smiled.

Afterward she said the following. “That’s basically why I started this club. My sexuality has always been different. And I’d like to thank Professor Barrera for being our faculty advisor. You’re the best, truly. I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you show us your gift… you know… how you do that? A few members had inquired about seeing that.”

I forced a smile, thanked Ellary for the thoughtful words, and I declined the offer to touch myself in front of everyone. Truth be told, I’d never been so embarrassed in my life than being called out as a squirter in front of a group of students. I could tell they really wanted to see it, but stopped short of verbally asking.

The next day a girl named Farhana came to see me during office hours. An international student, math major with an olive complexion, and she wore a hijab over her hair. I recognized her right away. She was one of the girls fawning over Ellary’s pussy.