Chapter 15

TW: EATING DISORDER (please skip this chapter if this subject triggers you in any way. the last thing i want to do to someone is trigger them into something)

“I hate myself so much. Why am I even doing this? I’ve been good for so long, but suddenly I just wanted to hurt myself. I couldn’t resiste. You know how hard I try, right?”

August 15th

Steve and Robin are in Steve’s car, driving to a grocery store to see if they need employees. “How was your date yesterday?” Robin asks Steve.

“A bust. She only talked about school and college plans, and she never shut up! There’s some parts I don’t even remember, I think my brain just melted” Steve responds.

“What’s her name again?” Robin asks.

“Becky” Steve says.

“That’s such a Becky thing” Robin says, making Steve chuckle.

“How was your sleepover with Sofia?” Steve asks.

“It was… it was good” Robin says with a voice crack.

“What was that?” Steve asks, making Robin’s cheeks red.

“Nothing!” Robin replies, with another voice crack.

“You did it again! Why are you so nervous about it?” Steve asks, smirking.

“Uhm… We… uh… we kinda kissed” Robin says quietly but smiling.

“Woah! That’s great!” Steve replies, feeling genuinely happy for Robin.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just that… she eventually pulled away and said it was too soon, but I can’t stop thinking about it” Robin says.

“She said it was too soon?” Steve asks, and Robin nods. “No girl ever said that to me…”

“Now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. We keep talking like nothing happened, but I can’t just ignore it. I really can’t. She’s all I think about… she’s driving me crazy” Robin says, frustrated.

“Man, you’re totally head over heels in love with her” Steve says, making Robin sigh.

“I knowww!” Robin says, hiding her face in her hands.

“You gotta tell her, like, soon” Steve says.

“What if she doesn’t like me back?” Robin asks.

“She does. Trust me” Steve says.

“And exactly how do you know that?” Robin asks.

“Because… Henderson told me” Steve says, making Robin’s eyes widen in surprise. She couldn’t believe what she heard. Sofia likes her. Sofia likes her. It sounds so unreal. Robin doesn’t actually believe it. “Now, you better do something about her, or someone might just do it before you get the chance” 

Sofia gets home full of bags of groceries. As she closes the door and walks to the kitchen, the phone starts ringing. “Dustin! Phone!” she yells.

The phone keeps ringing as she puts the groceries on the counter. “Dusty!” she yells again. She turns to open the refrigerator and sees a sticky note that read:

Went to cerebro to talk to Suzie. Be back in time for dinner- Dustin 🙂

Sofia sighs and walks to the phone. “Hello?” Sofia asks over the phone.

After a moment of silence, someone speaks up. “Sofia?”

Recognizing the voice, Sofia’s heart stops for a second. “Cher?” Sofia asks, not believing Cher was the one breaking the silence between them, but she could sense something was wrong with her.

“I’m doing it again. I… I need your help” Cher says in a weak tone, between sobs.

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way” Sofia says and hangs up the phone.

Even though Sofia hadn’t talked to Cher in over a month, they still used to be friends. Sofia’s heart is too soft to say no to helping a friend, especially Cher.

Arriving at Cher’s house, she uses the key under a plant to open the door. She walks to Cher’s bathroom, hearing her muffled cries. She finds Cher sitting next to the toilet, with empty packages of food around her. Sofia walks to her and hugs her. 

“How long?” Sofia asks her, letting go and looking at her.

“A w-week. I thought I had gotten over this, I thought I h-had it under control, I swear” Cher sobs. “But I don’t… I so don’t”

“You’ll gain control again, just like you did before” Sofia says, trying to give hope to the girl.

“I hate myself so much. Why am I even doing this? I’ve been good for so long, but suddenly I just wanted to hurt myself. I couldn’t resiste. You know how hard I try, right?” Cher cries.

“I know, Cher” Sofia says, feeling immensely bad for her friend.

“I suck at everything. Why do I suck so badly at everything? I can’t even be a good girlfriend. I don’t have control over anything in my life. Life just keeps hitting on me and pulling me back down and I seriously don’t have the strength to keep fighting, Sofy” Cher keeps on crying, not letting Sofia talk in between.

“And so, I thought that the one thing I could have some control over was food… but turns out I can’t even control that. I don’t know what to do, Sofia” Cher says, still crying, cleaning her own tears.

“I’m here to help you, alright? I’m sorry I wasn’t here before. I’m really sorry. But I am here now, so let me help you” Sofia says, carefully choosing every word she said.

“I should apologize too, for calling you a dyke. I was in a rage, and I j-just wanted to hurt you” Cher says, cleaning her tears.

“Well, you did hurt me, but I accept your apology” Sofia says. “Let’s get you up, come on. You’re gonna take a bath and dress new clothes”

“Ok…” Cher says, standing up slowly. Sofia picks up the packages from the floor and gets out of the bathroom. When she hears the shower run, she walks to the kitchen and puts everything in the trash. As she walks up the stairs, she hears someone opening the front door.

“Sofia, honey!” Cher’s mother, Adelaide, says, surprised.

“Hi Ms. Martin” Sofia says, giving the woman a quick hug.

“I’m so happy you’re finally here. You two have been going to your house a lot this past month!” Adelaide says, and Sofia furrows her eyebrows.

“My house?” she asks but decides to cover up for Cher. “Oh, yeah, you know, Cher likes the movies I have”

“That must be why she’s fatter now! Because of all the popcorn…”

“Fatter? No, I don’t think so… she’s skinnier, actually” Sofia says, feeling so mad that Cher’s mother treats her that way.

“Well, the cheerleader outfit says otherwise” Adelaide smiles. “I’m sorry to ask honey, but exactly why are you here?”

“Oh, Cher wasn’t feeling so good, so I came to check on her” Sofia says, trying her best to be polite when she truly just wanted to punch her.

“Oh, I’m glad. Well, I gotta start cooking dinner. See you around!” the woman smiles and walks to the kitchen.

Sofia walks up the stairs, into Cher’s room, and finds a picture of her and Jason there. She curses to herself and opens the closet, looking for an outfit.

She took off a pair of pink sweatpants and a white sweater. Even though it’s summer, when Cher does this, she always feels cold. 

After a while, Cher comes into the room, with a towel around her body. “Here” Sofia says, handing her the clothes. “Thanks” Cher smiles and starts to get dressed.

Sofia always felt kind of awkward when Cher just randomly changed outfits in front of her, so she walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water with a straw.

She walks back into the room and gives Cher the glass of water. “Take tiny sips” Sofia tells her. Cher nods and does so. 

“So… we’ve been hanging out at my house for the past month?” Sofia asks her.

Cher looks at her and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry” she says.

“What have you been doing?” Sofia asks.

“… I’ve been with Jason” Cher says, and Sofia immediately rolls her eyes. “He’s really sweet, you know!? I think you would like him if you talked to him”

“I seriously doubt that” Sofia says with a smile. “Look, it’s almost 5pm, I gotta go”

“Oh, ok. Bye” Cher says.

“Bye, Cherry” Sofia says, mocking her. “Get well. Call me whenever”

As Sofia parks her car, she sees Robin sitting on her doorstep, and happiness floods over her.

“Hi” Robin says with the cutest little smile, as Sofia approaches her.

“Hi” Sofia says, making the exact same face. Flashbacks of their kiss suddenly invade her mind, so she stops looking at Robin and looks for her keys, in hopes it will distract her. “How was the job interview?”

“A bust. They didn’t need employees, so we drove there for nothing. Anyway, I just wanna hang out with you now” Robin says, messing with her hair.

Sofia smiles in awe and opens the door. “Does helping me arrange the groceries count as hanging out with me?” Sofia jokes, as she sees the groceries on the counter.

Robin laughs and they start to get the stuff out of the bags. “Why did you leave the groceries all over the counter?”

“I had to run over to… Cher’s” Sofia says, knowing Robin wouldn’t like to hear so.

“What did she want?” Robin scoffs.

Sofia stops arranging the groceries and looks at Robin. “What I’m about to tell you, you can’t tell anyone”

“Like I have any more friends” Robin jokes.

“Not even Steve” Sofia says.

“Alright. What is it?” Robin asks, realizing it was important.

“Cher has had an eating disorder since freshman year. She stayed almost the whole sophomore year clean, then in junior year she relapsed a couple of times. And it happened again, she relapsed” Sofia explains.

“So, you went to help her?” Robin asks.

“Yeah…” Sofia responds, stopping to look at Robin.

“It’s just that… I think it’s great that you’re helping her out and all, I would too. It’s just that…” Robin says, stumbling through her words.

“It’s just that what?” Sofia asks.

“Did she apologize?” Robin asks.

Sofia takes a few seconds to think before answering. “Yeah, she did. Very quickly, but she did, and I also apologized”

“And did she even thank you?” Robin asks, already knowing the answer.

“She, uhm… she did not-” Sofia responds.

“Sofia-” 

“I know, I know. She should’ve thanked me-“

“Yeah, but it’s not just that” Robin starts saying. “It’s not the first time that she gets mad at you and barely apologizes. I just think you deserve a better best friend”

“I know… but I don’t think we’ll go back to what we were” Sofia admits, feeling a bit sad.

“What do you mean?” Robin asks.

“I don’t like the person she’s becoming. She’s still super sweet and all but… I don’t know. It’s just not the same anymore” Sofia explains, sad that they’ve outgrown each other.

“I just don’t want you to keep getting hurt” Robin says, making Sofia blush. It was one of the most romantic things Robin had ever told her.

“I won’t. Besides, she isn’t my best friend anymore… for a while now” Sofia says.

“Really? Who is it then?” Robin asks, preparing to feel her heart going empty.

“You” Sofia says with a soft smile, as she looks at Robin and then keeps arranging the groceries.

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A/N: sorry for the small chapter! I’m focusing on the chapter where the moment ~we’ve been all waiting for~ happens, so the next two chapters may also be smaller. 

I just want to make it clear that I’m not trying to romanticize eating disorders! I’m still recovering from one and I could never romanticize it, it’s pure hell (at least the hiding and recovering).

Don’t forget to vote! Love ya <3