Chapter 32

Night settled into the apartment the way it always did now, quiet, slow, almost gentle.

In the kitchen, Zivah stood by the counter, sleeves slightly rolled up, carefully tearing a few mint leaves between her fingers before dropping them into the glass.

The faint scent filled the air, fresh and calming. She added the apple slices next, watching them float, then stirred it softly.

It had become routine.

But not the kind that felt mechanical.

The kind that felt… intentional.

Like something she chose every night.

Her lips curved faintly.

“…she’ll complain if it’s too cold today.”

She murmured to herself, adjusting it slightly, as if Eraya was already there correcting her.

In the room,
Eraya sat cross-legged on the bed, the small teddy resting in her lap.

The lamp cast a soft glow, and the world outside felt distant.

She traced the bear’s ear absentmindedly.

Then spoke.

“…you know…”

Her voice was quiet, almost hesitant, like she wasn’t used to saying these things out loud.

“…she made me eat fruits today.”

A pause.

She smiled faintly.

“…and she didn’t even ask. Just… decided.”

She leaned back slightly against the headboard, still holding the teddy.

“…I think she gets annoyed when I don’t listen.”

Another pause.

“…but she still waits.”

Her fingers stilled.

“…no one used to wait.”

That sentence came softer.

Heavier.

She looked down at the teddy, her expression shifting, somewhere between disbelief and warmth.

“…I like her.”

She whispered.

Then shook her head lightly.

“…no… I-“

She exhaled.

“…I love her.”

The words didn’t feel dramatic.

They felt… true.

Simple.

Like something that had been sitting quietly in her chest, finally given shape.

She hugged the teddy closer.

“…she takes care of everything like it’s nothing… like it’s normal.”

Her thumb brushed over the soft fabric.

“…but it’s not normal.”

A small pause.

“…not for me.”

A knock on the door broke the moment.

“Eraya?”

Zivah’s voice came softly.

Eraya blinked, quickly adjusting herself.

“…come in.”

Zivah walked in, holding the glass.

“…your drink.”

She placed it on the side table, then glanced at her,
and then at the teddy.

“…you look busy.”

Eraya shook her head slightly.

“…nothing.”

“…you were talking.”

“… I was not.”

“… You were.”

“…you didn’t hear anything did you?.”

“…I heard tone. Not words.”

“…good.”

Zivah smiled faintly, handing her the glass.

“…drink.”

Eraya took it, sipping slowly.

Zivah sat beside her, resting her hands behind her on the bed.

For a moment, neither spoke.

Then,
Zivah nodded toward the teddy.

“…so.”

Eraya glanced at her.

“…so?”

“…what’s its name?”

Eraya paused.

“…I didn’t think about it.”

“…you were just talking to it like it pays rent here.”

“…it listens better than you.” Eraya teased.

“…rude.”

Eraya smiled slightly.

Then looked down at the teddy again.

A small pause.

“…Brownie.”

Zivah blinked.

“…what?”

“…Brownie.”
Eraya repeated softly.

“…because… it’s warm.”
She added, almost like she was explaining it to herself.

Zivah looked at the bear.

Then back at her.

“…so the stuffed bear gets a name.”

“…yes.”

“…and I don’t?”

Eraya looked up,
and for a second,
just stared at her.

Then laughed.

A soft, unrestrained laugh.

Zivah’s expression shifted immediately.
Not annoyed.
Not really.

“…this is unfair.”

“…you already have a name.”

“…I want a nickname.”

“…why?”

“…because Brownie got one.”

“…Brownie didn’t ask for it.”

“…I am asking.”

Eraya shook her head, still smiling.

“…you’re acting like a child.”

“…I am being deprived.”

“…of what?”

“…affection equality.”

Eraya laughed again.

And this time,
Zivah didn’t even try to hide it.

She just watched.

Because something about that sound,
the way it came so easily now,
felt like something she wanted to protect.

“…you’ll get one.”
Eraya said finally.

“…when?”

“…when I feel like it.”

“…that is not a timeline.”

“…you’ll survive.”

Zivah huffed softly, lying down beside her.

“…I don’t like Brownie.”

Eraya looked at her.

“…you won it for me.”

“…I regret my decisions.”

“…you don’t.”

“…I don’t.”

Silence settled again.

Soft.

Eraya lay down, turning slightly to her side,
Brownie tucked close to her chest.

Zivah lay on her back, staring at the ceiling for a moment,
then turned her head slightly.

Her gaze landed on Eraya.

On the way her fingers curled around the teddy.
The way she held it close,
like it was something grounding.

Something safe.

Zivah’s expression softened.

“…you are gonna sleep like that every day now.”
She said quietly.

Eraya didn’t reply.
She was already drifting.

“…hmm.”

Zivah watched her a little longer.

Then let out a small breath.

“…lucky bear.”
She murmured.

Her eyes lingered,
not on the teddy,
but on the space it occupied.

The space where Eraya held something close without hesitation.
Without fear.

And for a fleeting moment,

Zivah wondered,

when will she hold me like that?

Not out of need.
Not out of fear.

But because she wants to.

The thought stayed.
Quiet.
Unspoken.

Zivah reached out,
very gently,
pulling the blanket up slightly over Eraya’s shoulder.

Her fingers brushed against her arm for a second.

She didn’t pull away immediately.

Then finally,
settled back.

The room fell silent again.

And this time,
Zivah didn’t mind the distance.

Because she knew,
slowly
quietly,

she was getting closer.

The morning didn’t feel different.

That was the unsettling part.

Nothing in the air warned of it, no heaviness, no quiet before a storm.

Just the usual rhythm:

footsteps in corridors, half-finished conversations, notebooks pressed against chests, the familiar presence of people who had started becoming safe.

Eraya walked beside Shivani, her steps light, not hurried, not hesitant. Just… steady.

That was new.

And Shivani noticed it.

She nudged her lightly with her shoulder.

“Okay, first of all-“

Eraya blinked, looking at her.

“What?”

“This is suspicious.”

“…what is?”

“You’re walking like you belong here.”

Eraya let out a small breath, almost a laugh.

“I do belong here.”

Shivani stopped walking.

Turned to her dramatically.

“Say that again.”

Eraya frowned slightly.
“I said I-“

“Again. Slowly.”

Eraya hesitated.

Then, quieter this time,

“I belong here.”

Shivani’s expression softened.

“Good,” she said, almost under her breath.

Then immediately ruined the moment.

“Now don’t take it back when someone annoys you.”

Eraya shook her head faintly, a smile forming.

“I won’t.”

“You better not,” Shivani pointed at her.

Eraya actually laughed this time.

And somewhere behind them,
Zivah heard it.

She didn’t interrupt.

Didn’t call out.

Didn’t tease.

She just… listened.

And smiled.

They reached the classroom.

Settled into their usual seats at the back.

The professor hadn’t arrived yet, and the room buzzed with casual noise.

Shivani leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms.

“…so.”

Eraya glanced at her.

“So?”

“I have to leave early today.”

Eraya’s fingers paused over her notebook.

“…why?”

“Library volunteering,” Shivani said, like it was nothing.

“Some community program. Kids, books, chaos. My natural environment.”

Eraya nodded slowly.

“Oh.”

Shivani tilted her head.

“What ‘oh’?”

“…nothing.”

“…that didn’t sound like nothing.”

Eraya shook her head.

“It’s fine.”

Shivani studied her for a second.

There was something small there.

Not fear.

Not exactly.

Just… a flicker.

But she didn’t press.

Instead, she leaned forward and flicked Eraya’s pen lightly.

“Survive without me.”

Eraya looked at her.

“I can.”

“I know you can,” Shivani said, softer now. “But still. Try not to adopt new enemies while I’m gone.”

“…I don’t do that.”

“You attract them.”

“…that’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair,” Shivani shrugged.

Eraya smiled faintly.

“…you’ll come tomorrow?”

Shivani raised a brow.

“Wow. You are going to miss me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

Eraya looked away, trying to hide the small smile that betrayed her.

“…I didn’t.”

Shivani leaned closer, whispering dramatically,

“You did.”

The classroom door opened.
And with it,
the shift.

Ananya walked in with her group.

Laughter trailing behind her.

Loud enough to be noticed.

Sharp enough to carry.

Her eyes scanned the room lazily,
until they landed on the back row.

On Shivani.
And Eraya.

Something in her expression changed.
Not obvious.
But there.

She walked forward slowly.
Not directly to them.
But close enough.

“…interesting.”

Shivani didn’t look up.
“…what is?”

Ananya tilted her head slightly.
“…new arrangements.”

Eraya’s fingers tightened around her pen.

Just a little.

Shivani leaned back in her chair, finally meeting her gaze.
“…say what you want to say.”

Ananya smiled.
It didn’t reach her eyes.

“I just didn’t know you had… expanded your circle.”

“…I didn’t know you monitored it,” Shivani replied calmly.

A small laugh from Ananya’s group.

“I don’t,” Ananya shrugged. “But some things are hard to ignore.”

Her eyes flickered to Eraya.
Brief.
But deliberate.

“…upgrades can be confusing.”

Shivani’s tone sharpened just slightly.
“…don’t.”

Ananya raised her hands.
“…I didn’t say anything.”

“You implied enough.”

A pause.

Ananya smiled again.
Then stepped back.

“…see you around.”

And just like that,
she walked away.

The noise in the room returned.
But something had shifted.

Shivani turned to Eraya immediately.
“…ignore her.”

Eraya nodded.
“…I am.”

“… God she talks too much.”

“…you talk more.”

“…that’s different.”

“…how?”

“…mine is interesting.”

Eraya let out a small breath.
Almost a laugh.

But it didn’t fully reach her eyes.

Shivani noticed.

“…hey.”

Eraya looked at her.

“…you’re okay?”

A pause.

“…yes.”

Shivani held her gaze for a second longer.
Then nodded.

“…good.”

The class began.

And for a while,
everything went back to normal.

Until
halfway through,
Shivani packed her bag.

“…I’m leaving.”
She whispered.

Eraya nodded.

“…okay.”

Shivani stood.
Then paused.

“…and if anything happens-“

“…nothing will happen.”

Shivani narrowed her eyes.

“…still. Message me.”

Eraya nodded again.

“…I will.”

Shivani hesitated.
Just for a second.
Then left.

The door closed.

And the room felt… bigger.

Louder.

More aware.

Eraya kept her eyes on her notebook.
Her handwriting steady.
Controlled.

But she could feel it.

The looks.

The whispers.

Not loud.
Not obvious.

Just enough.

To remind her.

Lunch came.

Zivah was already there.
As always.

She pulled the chair out.
As always.

Eraya sat.
As always.

But, quite.

Zivah noticed it immediately.

The way she sat a little straighter.
A little more contained.

“…how was class?”
She asked casually.

Eraya nodded.
“…fine.”

“…just fine?”

“…yes.”

Shivani wasn’t there yet.

Anamika leaned forward.
“…she survived without Shivi.”

“…barely,” Zivah muttered.

Eraya smiled faintly.

Zivah opened the lunch.
Placed it neatly on her plate.
As always.

“…eat.”

Eraya nodded.
Started eating.

The conversation flowed around her.

Anamika talking.
Zivah replying.

But,
Eraya was quieter today.

Not silent.
Just…
less.

Zivah didn’t say anything.

But she noticed,
the pauses before answers,
the way Eraya avoided looking around,
the way her shoulders felt just a little… guarded,
Nothing big.
Nothing obvious.

But enough.

A small thought settled in her mind.

Something is off.

She didn’t push.
Didn’t ask.
Didn’t interrupt the moment.

She just…
kept an eye on her.

Quietly.

And that was how it started.

Not with something loud.
Not with something undeniable.

But with a shift.
So small,
it could almost be missed.

Almost.

The next day didn’t announce itself as different.

That was the thing about patterns, they didn’t arrive loudly.

They slipped in, quietly, and settled before anyone could name them.

Shivani was already halfway through packing her bag when the class had barely started.

“…don’t look at me like that,” she muttered, not even glancing at Eraya.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” Shivani replied, finally looking up.

“Your face is very expressive for someone who pretends it isn’t.”

Eraya lowered her gaze to her notebook.

“…you’re leaving again?”

“Library,” Shivani sighed dramatically.

“Apparently I am a responsible citizen now. Very tragic.”

Eraya nodded.

“…okay.”

Shivani paused.
Just for a second.

“…you’ll be fine, right?”

The question was casual.

But it landed heavier than it should have.

Eraya’s fingers tightened slightly around her pen.

“…yes.”

Shivani narrowed her eyes.
“…you hesitated.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“…I didn’t.”

A small pause.
Then Shivani exhaled.

“…message me if anything feels off.”
Eraya looked up.

“…nothing will feel off.”

Shivani held her gaze for a moment longer, like she wanted to believe that.

“…still,” she said finally, softer now. “Message me.”

Eraya nodded.
“…I will.”

When Shivani left, the door closing behind her felt louder than it should have.
Eraya didn’t look up.
She kept writing.
Line after line.
Neat.
Controlled.
Familiar.

The whispers started again.
Not immediately.
Not obviously.

Just… gradually.

A chair scraping louder than necessary.
A laugh that lingered a second too long.
A sentence cut halfway when she passed.

Eraya didn’t react.
She had learned long ago,
attention fed things like this.
Silence starved them.

Or at least,
that’s what she used to believe.

“…still here?”
The voice came from behind her.
Light.
Mocking.

Eraya’s hand stilled for a fraction of a second.
Then continued writing.

“I thought you’d… disappear again When shivani isn’t here.”

She didn’t turn.

A soft chuckle.

“Or maybe you’re just… trying harder now.”

Another voice joined in.

“New company does that. They give you hope and disappear.”

Eraya closed her notebook.
Slowly.

Still didn’t turn.

“Say something.” Ananya urged her.

She stood up.
Picked up her bag.
And walked out.

Not fast.
Not hurried.
Just… steady.

Behind her, the laughter followed.
Not loud.
But present.

It didn’t chase her.
It didn’t need to.

Because it had already settled somewhere inside.

At Lunch.

Zivah was already there.
As always.

She looked up the moment Eraya entered.

Something in her posture straightened instinctively.

“…hey.”

Eraya nodded.

“…hi.”

Zivah pulled the chair out.
As always.

Eraya sat.
As always.

But again quiet.

Zivah noticed it again.

The way she sat a little further in.
The way her hands stayed closer to herself.

“…how was class?”

“…fine.”

Same answer.
Same tone.

Zivah didn’t respond immediately this time.

She just watched her for a second longer than usual.

Then opened the lunch.
Placed it neatly on her plate.

“…eat.”

Eraya nodded.

Anamika was talking about something,
some story from class,
but Zivah wasn’t fully listening.

Her attention kept slipping back.

To Eraya.

The way she chewed slowly.
The way her gaze didn’t wander.
The way she didn’t interrupt, didn’t add, didn’t react much.

Not silence.
But not her either.

Zivah leaned back slightly.

Something is seriously off.

The thought came again.
Stronger this time.

But there was nothing to hold onto.
No clear reason.
No visible cause.

Just… a feeling.

“…you’re quiet today.”
Anamika said suddenly.

Eraya looked up.
“…am I?”

“Yeah,” Anamika shrugged. “Usually you at least pretend to laugh at my jokes.”

A faint smile.
“…they weren’t funny today.”

“Rude.”

Zivah didn’t smile.
Not fully.

She was still watching.

Still trying to understand.

Day three.

Shivani left again.
This time without much teasing.

Just a quick,
“…I’ll be back.”

Eraya nodded.

And then,
she was alone again.

The pattern had settled now.

The looks didn’t feel surprising anymore.
The whispers didn’t feel new.

They felt…
expected.

“…you really think this is permanent?”

This time, she turned.

Ananya leaned against the desk behind her.
Casual.
Too casual.

“…what?”
Eraya asked quietly.

“This,” Ananya gestured vaguely. “Your new… situation.”

Eraya held her gaze.
Didn’t reply.

Ananya smiled slightly.

“…people get bored.”

A pause.

“…they move on.”

Something tightened in Eraya’s chest.

But she didn’t let it show.

“I’m not asking you to stay.”
She said, her voice steady.

Ananya tilted her head.

“…no. You wouldn’t.”

A small step closer.

“But you’ll notice when they leave.”

Eraya’s fingers curled slightly at her sides.

“…they won’t.”

Ananya laughed.
Soft.
Almost pitying.

“They always do. Especially from the ones who aren’t enough.”

A beat.

Then she stepped back.

“…see you around.”

And walked away.

Eraya stood there for a moment.

Then sat back down.

Opened her notebook.

Tried to write.

The words blurred slightly.

They always do.

The sentence echoed.

And the worst part,

It didn’t feel like a lie.

At Lunch.

Zivah saw her before she reached the table.

And this time,

she knew.

Not what.
But that something was definitely wrong.

The way Eraya walked,
just a fraction slower.

The way she didn’t look around at all.

Zivah pulled the chair out again.

Eraya sat.

“…how was class?”
Zivah asked.

“…fine.”

Same answer.

But this time,

Zivah didn’t let it go immediately.

“…just fine?”

Eraya looked at her.
For a moment,
it felt like she might say something else.

But then,
“…yes.”

Zivah exhaled softly.

“…okay.”

She served the food.
Placed it neatly.

Watched her start eating.

The conversation around them continued.

But Zivah wasn’t in it.

Not really.

She was thinking.

Replaying.

The last few days.

The silence.
The hesitation.
The small changes.

Nothing big.
Nothing obvious.

But consistent.

And Zivah knew,

patterns meant something.

She just didn’t know what yet.

Across the table,
Eraya kept eating.
Quietly.

Inside,
the noise hadn’t stopped.

But she had learned,

how to make it look like it had.
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