Chapter 48

**Warning, has Nik so might get just a tiny bit violent… goodluck.

**
I stop picking at the scar on my knuckles and look up at my bedroom door when I hear it open.

“What’s this sombre mood you got going on ?” I sit up and watch as my dad slowly walks to my bed a curious frown on his face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I mumble looking away from him, I knew very well what he was talking about, I had been locked in here for almost a week, unable to move, sleep or do anything. The Image just kept on playing in my head continously, and the only urge I had was to throw up.

“What ? you leaking or something ?” he sits on the bed next to me and I sigh and look up at him, why would he ask that ? “Don’t look at me like that” he points me and I frown and go back to picking at the scar. It was calming to do this, I enjoyed picking at the scar till I bleed, too bad it meant they’d forever stick with me. Only Hayley had seen some of my scars and didn’t act disgusted, would anyone ever love me like her? Who was I kidding? of course not, I had the most beautiful amazing woman as my girlfriend and lost her, I just didn’t know what I did wrong. Was it that I didn’t fuck her right like Zyon did? Is that why she chose to fuck him? Is he why she broke up with me?

“It’s that girl isn’t it?” I look up at him the moment he asks this and notice the furrow in his eyebrows, he almost looked, sympathetic? I choose not to answer that, partly because of the lump in my throat “I know it’s her” he nods. How does he know it was her? And what would he do to her? would he ‘take care’ of her? would he hurt her?

“N-no, no it’s not” I shake my head but my voice cracks, this causes him to shake his head in disapproval.

“You can’t lie to me Alison, I always see right through you” he whispers looking directly in my eyes and I gulp, that was true. “See Ali, this is why I wasn’t supportive of you dating. Fucking around? sure go for it, but dating? that only makes you vulnerable and when you’re vulnerable it’s easy for someone to fuck you up, like rightnow” he points me “You’re fucked up”.

“I’m not fucked up” I try to defend myself weakly and his frown deepens but with a little smirk on his lips.

“Watch your fucking language” he hisses and I throw my head back and groan in frustration, why was he here? he definitely had no plan in making me feel better. “You look fucked up, you are fucked up, locked in your room for days” I was suprised he even cared “We had business to take care of the past week…” Of course, he doesn’t even care that I didn’t go to school.

“What do you want from me?” I speak gritting my teeth, I was already angry about Hayley and now he was coming in here and being a dick. He tilts his head raising an eyebrow but I don’t wait for him to speak again “I already feel like shit, you don’t have to come in here and make everything worse like you always do with your self-centered bullshit”. I register my words after I’ve already spat them out bitterly and by the look on his face as he shakes his head, I know I’ll regret them. Within mere seconds his hand is rougly holding me by the cheek, his fingers roughly digging into my skin as he brings his face close to mine.

“Watch your fucking language when speaking to me Alison” he whispers, his eyes glaring into mine. I’m already going through emotional pain, which is way worse than his fingers digging into my cheeks but I can’t help the tears that begin rolling out of my eyes. “I don’t give a shit if your stupid whore realized you’re no good and ended it, you speak to me with fucking respect”. Normally I would be begging him to let me go, but today, I think I could take the pain. I would let him unalive me if he wanted to, after all I had nothing left to live for, nothing to fight for. So I just stared at him tears cascading down my face to my cheeks where his fingers were digging passed the flesh of my cheeks to my jaw. “Ugh” he finally let’s go roughly pushing my face away from his after glaring at me for a second or two. I hiccup, but I don’t even blink as I stare directly at the man who donated his sperm to make me, then decided to raise me and fuck me up. He did this, he did all of this to me.

“God, get yourself together Alison” he gets up from the bed and I sniffle, letting my fingers brush my cheek which was still throbing. Another bruise, how lovely “When will you stop being so pathetic? You can’t do one thing right, even satisfy your so called girlfriend”. I’m immune to his words by now, his insults, but I wasn’t prepared for this, he just took my insecurity and used it against me. I thought I could feel nothing by now, but I felt, I felt those words and it hurt to know it was all true. He was speaking the truth.

“Listen baby, learn from this and be tough” his look suddenly softens. “Humans are creatures of habit baby, you let them fuck you up once and they’ll do it again… don’t let it happen again” he raises his eyebrows tilting his head a bit “Tell me you understand”. I did. I got it. I nod my responce and he smiles.

“Good” he begins walking to the door “I’ll let you be now, but no more sad mood okay ?” I don’t respond. He nods to himself opens my bedroom door then looks back at me “Remember that everything happens for a reason, you never know what a powerful being has in store for you, besides, you don’t need her, you never did… let the being take control and make you just as powerful” he whispers the last part and I have no time to register how weird he’s being and how weird his words are before he walks out the door. What did he mean ‘a powerful being’ what the fuck was he going on about ?

All that for sure didn’t matter now, what mattered was that Nik had just spoken the wisest words that I would live by for the rest of my life ‘Humans are a creature of habit, you let them fuck you up once and they’ll do it again… don’t let it happen again’ . I wouldn’t, I’d fuck them up before they even got a chance to do that to me.

**

“I don’t need to see you to know you’re fucking beautiful” I say to a laughing Sparks through the phone and watch as Drew rolls his eyes again.

“You don’t know that for sure but go on” I smile scoffing a laughter. I enjoyed complimenting her and telling her facts that are very well known, knowing that she enjoyed them too, made me feel so good you have no idea.

“Of course I do, I have various images of you printed in my brain”.

“What images ?”.

“Are you sure you want more explanation on that?”.

“Of c- wait-” she chuckles “No, no I don’t.

“No, I’m willing to go into details babe, I have a way with words”.

“No” she half screams “Keep them” I laugh along with her and watch as the office door opens to let in Hayley. Ugh.

“I have to go now” I announce to Flame watching as Hayley takes slow steps in her tight dress and sits on the seat next to Drew barely acknowledging him .

“Okay, goodluck” Flame says and I sigh, waiting for her to hang up before I pocket my phone and give my attention to Hayley.

“Hey” I smile at her and she does the same her dimples making her look like an angel.

“Hey” she taps the desk “Are you excited ?” she asks and I sigh again and look over at Drew. It’s been a couple of weeks, actually about four since our partnership and we were here to look at the profits we’d made. Now I’m really proud because the gym has been doing pretty good recently, but I was also running out of time and was hoping that I’d made real cash.

“Kind of” I shrug and she laughs abit.

“Don’t worry” she waves me off as if she knows what I’m worried about then turns pulling a laptop from her handbag. I look at Drew who is silently seated next to her and wonder why he felt the need to be here, he insisted on it too, but at the end of the day I’d still need my alone time with Hayley.

Why? you ask, well I have decided to listen to Sparks… this is your cue to gasp, take your time. Done? okay, I’ve decided to listen to her, forgive Hayley and leave all of that shit behind us and for some unknown reason I felt like I’d feel grown and accomplished if I said this to her to her face. And so I was going to. I’ve had weeks of working with her and I’ve realized that I don’t care, I don’t care about our past, because now I have a beautiful present and though Nik was fucking up with me, it wouldn’t change that I felt lucky to have really good friends and a just as good… girlfriend?… yeah. Girlfriend I said it.

So I was going to wait till our little meeting was over then have my talk with Hayley. I bet I’d feel lighter after, if she cared enough she would too. I know Sparks would be proud of me… of course she would. I hope little Ali would be proud too, she deserves to feel some peace. I would do anything to make her feel at peace, to give her real happiness but I cant, so I’ll try and give it to myself, I know she’s still in there somewhere and will feel it.

**
I Cannot express how much I enjoy writing scenes with Nik. He’s so… he’s such an asshole… it’s easy to be an asshole in this life. Don’t choose the easy way, don’t be an asshole, press that star shaped thingy on your screen and leave a comment and the next chapter must, will pop up. I might be back to posting daily now… Also the words about humans being a creauture of habit are true, don’t give anyone a chance to fuck with you.