Chapter 41

It’s 3.00 in the morning… Good morning.

**
“Is it on yet?!” Austin yells from the other room and I grab the remote from Drew’s hand and flip through the channels, trying to find the boxing match that was going on live. I look over at Drew for help when I can’t find it and he smiles snatching the remote from my hand and returning it to the previous channel.

“Nope!” he yells back to Austin and I roll my eyes… He thinks he knows everything. Well he somehow does but still- “Don’t give me that attitude little lady” he nudges me with his shoulder and I push him off me.

“Don’t call me that” I frown, looking over at him “So how’s your mom?” I ask recalling what Austin had told me about him visiting his mom.

“Huh?” he frowns looking at me, clear confusion on his face.

“Aus said you’d gone to see her” I tell him, taking the bottle of beer from his hand and taking a swig as I watch the confusion slowly clear from his face.

“Oh… that” he slowly blinks nodding “She’s fine-“.

“You didn’t stay for too long, I expected you to at least finish a day or two if not weeks” I tell him looking straight into his eyes but he completely ignores the eye contact and looks ahead at the TV instead. That’s suspicious.

“Why would I do that ?” he scoffs and before I can speak he pushes me completely off topic “How was the meeting with thee Hayley ?” he asks roughly scratching his jaw where I could notice a beard was slowly threatening to take over his once smooth but defined jaw line.

“Not as bad as I thought it would be” I shrug and he nods slowly. See one thing with this guy is, he didn’t talk much unless he felt like it, if he didn’t he would just stay silent and stare at you or away, like he was now.

“You came to an understanding ?” he asks again and I nod. This felt like a conversation I’d have with Nik for some reason.

“Of course they did, all cause of me!” Austin yells as he walks inside the room, pulling a T-shirts over his damp hair and we both look up at him.

“What do you mean all cause of you ?” I frown and he stands over us and looks down at me.

“If it wasn’t for the meditation we had before you went, you would have definitely blown up, you’re calmer and quieter when high” he points me and walks off to the kitchen.

“Don’t give yourself all the credit asshole” I gasp knowing it was true but still!-

“Mmhm” he eyes me brushing hair off his face as he lights the joint between his lips.

“For real though, I’ve changed a lot since the last time she was with me and I really tried to show her that” I defend “I was a lost teenager back then” I add.

“She has a point though” Drew speaks and I nod, feeling good I had back up until- “she was going through puberty then, now she’s not” he adds and I look back at him.

“You know it’s hard to believe you went through puberty Cain” Austin says and I look back at him as he walks to the couch. They wanted to gang up on me didn’t they?

“What?” I frown and hear Drew snort next to me.

“Don’t girls grow tits and what not ?” he asks seeming completely okay with what he was saying as he blows out smoke from his mouth.

“What the hell are you saying ?” I scoff staring at my chest, and yes it was flat but only cause I had a binder on. By this time, Drew is already laughing his annoying high pitched hiccup laugh and I feel attacked as I stare between them.

“That the only thing that grows when it comes to you, is height” Austin goes on with his roast as he plops on the couch next to me and pokes me in the chest.

“So true” Drew chuckles harder slapping his own thigh his head thrown back and I open my mouth but shut it having no comeback to that.

“Well thanks a lot” I finally say shrugging and Austin chuckles a little.

“You’re welcome, I love you too Nine” he places his hand around my shoulder.

“What a way to make me feel special guys… Really” I say sarcastically leaning back on the couch.

“Oh cammon, don’t take it personally” Drew nudges me with his elbow and I glare at him before Austin adds.

“Yeah you can still get them through surgery”.

I glare back at Austin and he winks at me chuckling a little before I finally loose the bit of patience and push him off his own couch. He falls on his ass, joint still between his lips and groans.

“Ow! Why am I always the one getting pushed off places” he groans frowning at me.

“Because you’re an ass!” I chuckle “What’d my tits ever do you to you ?” I ask still chuckling.

“What tits?” he scoffs and I stop laughing as Drew breaks off into laughter again. I throw one of the pillows on the couch right at Austin and chuckle along with them as Austin catches the pillow and throws it back at me.

**
“UH! OH!.. Yes, yes…fuck yes !” Drew yells pointing the TV and I sigh knowing I was losing a bet I had with him yet again. Fuck. He laughs like crazy and looks at me ruffling his stupid hair “I told you.. I fucking did!” he yells getting a little too excited and I lay my head back on the couch, taking the joint from Austin’s hand and giving his disappointed face a look. That kind of made me feel better. Knowing I wasn’t losing the bet on my own.

“Shut up” Austin groans. He was comfortably seated on his carpeted floor since the time I had pushed him off and Drew and I kept on switching positions and standing up since we both watched boxing matches aggressively. Now that I think about it.. We watched everything with aggression.

“Sore loser say what?” Drew mumbles loud enough for me to hear and for Austin to fall for his stupid childish trick.

“What?” Austin frowns looking confused and Drew scoffs a laughter.

“Exactly” he says and I chuckle adjusting my head a little to get a good look at Aus.

“I can’t believe you fell for that” I shake my head in mock disappointment.

“Whatever, fuck him” Austin mumbles.

“You wish… You fucking wish” Drew laughs plopping back on the couch and I chuckle staring between them as I place my legs on Drew’s lap and lay my head on the couch.

“No, you wish” Austin scoffs and I continue laughing. Their stupid arguments were funnier now for some reason.

“Winning feels awesome dude for real, next time you know whose side to pick” Drew tells Austin looking pretty pleased with himself “This calls for a celebration” he adds.

“Yeah do that on your own dude” I tell him, trying to make swirling shapes with the smoke I’m puffing out but it doesn’t work. See now, that’s disappointing.

“Oh no, you guys are definitely doing it with me” he says and anyone could hear the excitement in his voice. What can I say, if my guy won I would be just as excited. “What do you say, we give Gomez a little visit, get hammered good and make a lot of mistakes with a lot of people ?” he asks.

“You know I’m always in” Austin speaks up and I am still silently trying to make swirls with the smoke. After all these years, how the fuck can’t-

“Cain are you coming or what ?” Drew slaps my feet and I quickly look up at him.

“Isn’t it a bit late ?”. Listen, it’s never too late to get wasted and fuck around that was a rule, but I couldn’t really do that anymore and I guess I was trying to come up with excuse.

“What the fuck do you mean ?” Drew looks at me disgust clear on his face and I shrug feeling stupid and not knowing how to explain whatever was going on in my life.

“Are you forgetting, someone’s whipped ?” Austin asks and immediately Drew nods.

“Ohhh… you know I always thought Austin would settle before you and I” Drew tells me and I frown.

“What the fuck do you mean?” I ask. Was I settling ?. Did it look like I was ?. Was I ?.

“I mean, I thought Austin would get into some dumbass relationship before we would even think about it, but look at you surprising me” he goes on.

“Heyy, what the fuck” Austin waves his hands and Drew chuckles placing his index finger over his lips signalling Austin to be quiet.

“Heyy, who the hell said I was in a relationship?” I ask sitting up to look at both of them.

“Aren’t you ?” Drew asks frowning “I mean you’re holding hands, sleeping together without fucking and fucking… aren’t you ?” he asks and I open my mouth then close it. I was confused.

“That means I’m in a relationship ?” I ask and Austin laughs standing up and sitting on the couch.

“You’re more fucked up than I thought” he says.

“Are you two doing all that shit or not ?” Drew asks his eyes wide and eyebrows raised and I nod.

“Yeah ?” I say. Was I feeling too high to have this conversation about feelings and emotions with my friends? Yes I was.

“Then you want to say that you don’t love her ?” Austin asks and I frown harder.

“Who the fuck said anything about love?” I ask “I mean… I like her, a lot.. so much and I enjoy talking to her and fucking her, I won’t lie but love is a bit too strong” I shrug. It was, I mean, we didn’t know much about each other… she knew a little too much about me though. But we hadn’t been together for that long, it was barely even three months since I met her.

“So what?, you saw her as a challenge and now just like the idea of eating her out?” Drew asks and I know for a fact that was not it. The thought of that made me feel guilty,  just the thought.

“First don’t say it like that, and second of course not… yes she was not that easy but then again we made out a lot, since the first time we met” We had a pretty weird relationship now that I thought about it, there was always some type of sexual tension, I mean I had that with plenty of girls but this was stronger, I still wanted to kiss her after kissing her multiple times. It still felt amazingly right having her lips on mine. The thought of her allowing me to touch her in any way excited me so much, like some kid on Christmas morning just before opening their presents.

“Lesbians” Austin scoffs “Weird ass motherfuckers… give me that” he snatches the joint from my hand “So she’s okay with being just your fuck buddy ? wait, then how many fuck buddies do you have ?” he asks.

“She’s not my fuck buddy” I frown.

“Girlfriend?” Austin asks.

“No… I don’t think so” I frown and Drew chuckles.

“You don’t know what you want, do you ?” he asks and I rub the back of my neck “That’s just it, until you figure shit out, one of you might get badly hurt” he says.

“What do you mean by that?, It’s not that I’m using her, we both know we’re attracted to each other-“.

“And ?” Drew cuts me off “How long do you think that’ll be enough ?” he smiles.

“See, maybe you don’t know this, but women like to establish dominance over their possessions and they get frustrated when they get placed in a situation where they don’t know whether they actually have possession over this certain thing, in this situation you… rightnow things might seem easy, but it’s only the beginning” Austin explains “You need to sort out your emotions as soon as possible Cain, otherwise you’re putting her and you in a weird situation”.

“For real” Drew nods “If you like her then let her know her place in you life, or at least you should know her place in your life for fuck sake… rightnow if she decides to fuck with some guy…” he begins and my face straightens, my jaw clenching, I couldn’t even picture that. “I wouldn’t really blame her cause what she has with you is just a fuck relationship” he says brutally. Was this true ?

“That’s not true” I say. I don’t believe it is, it’s not only a fuck relationship when there’re feelings involved right?

“Cain, seriously though, you’re putting her in a very weird position, ofcourse she won’t pressure you much since she knows about your past and what not, but that won’t stop her from having doubts and questioning whether she really does mean something to you” Austin says and I sigh, recalling the argument we had the other day. Is that what the guys meant ?.

“And with your history with women, she’ll obviously question whether she’s any different, I mean I’m questioning that” Drew says.

“Ofcourse she is… she is” I defend.

“What makes her different then ?” Austin asks.

“I don’t know” I scoff, her image coming to mind “She actually cares about me ?, I mean just when we were beginning to talk, she said she wanted to know more about me, she wanted me to speak to her about myself, I found that weird, she got me to open up to her without even knowing I was, and after learning about my past she never ran” I pause, frowning, “She makes me feel safe, listened to, like this weak, vulnerable actual, human being, that needs comfort and all that, and she doesn’t seem to think it’s pathetic, she embraces that side of me better than I ever would, I trust her with me more than I trust myself with me” What the fuck ?. Where did that come from ?. Did I mean that ?.

“Hmmm” Austin hums snapping me back to reality and I look at him as he grins at me, his eyebrows raised.

“Plus her beauty is just, out of this world, and she oddly uses the word beautiful on me” I smile to myself already missing her company and feeling like an asshole for putting her in that position the guys were going on about. She was too amazing to even be associated with me.

“I feel like a goddamn therapist” Drew says leaning back on the couch.

“Don’t you dare take all credit” Austin points him and he raises his hands in defence.

“Okay, we both are” Drew says and I scoff eyeing them.

“What the fuck makes you guys think that of yourselves ?” I ask them, frowning.

“Well we just helped you figure out your fucked up emotions by yourself in like 10 minutes or less” Drew says.

“You’re inlove fucker!” Austin yells suddenly and him and Drew chuckle. I mean I don’t know about love, just yet, it was pretty soon, what I knew though was that she was different from the rest and I would show her that and make her feel that, no matter how cheesy it made me seem. Because she deserved better than what I had to offer so I would make it worth it for as long as it lasted.

“No I’m not” I frown pushing Austin and Drew pushes my feet off him.

“Ugh, you’re impossible” he says standing up and walking to the kitchen “We might not be going to the club, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get drunk” he says opening the refrigerator.

“Yeah, it only means you can’t see tits” Austin shrugs faking a disappointed look as he quickly glances at me then quickly jumps off the couch before I push him off.

“Fuck off” I chuckle “Seriously”.

**

Re-editor me here, how you doing ?, I really like Cain’s friends.. they’re nice.. anyway VOTE,COMMENT… do all that shit.