Chapter 42

I think I had to start getting used to this, seeing her just smiling and making conversation with me as if we were long term friends, as if our past was flawlessly beautiful, as if nothing hapened at all. But of course it was easy for her, she wasn’t the one on the other end being used and hurt. I mean yes I used her too, to stay sane, but at least I didn’t make her feel like a pathetic little bitch by treating her like shit once I was done with her. Was I ever even going to be done with her?

“So listen…” she points at me and I nod my eyes widening as I lean against the wall giving her all my attention “Since we’re already business partners, I was thinking of pitching in an idea that I think will be great” she says and I frown, I was pretty protective over this place and hated changes, why would anyone want to change anything.

“What idea?” I ask and she decides to ignore the obvious frown on my face and turns her head pointing the spot where the weight machines were placed.

“I think that space is too big for only the weight lifting section and I was thinking of bringing in more stationary bikes and we could bring in a special instructor for that only and we’d have them instruct people who’d sign up for that activity on specific days…” she explains and I nod catching on to what she was saying. I had to give it to her, that was actually a really good idea that’d bring in cash and more people and I had just the guy in mind.

“You like?” she smiles tucking her dirty blonde hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, I do actually” I say letting the approval and suprise be heard in my tone.

“What’d you think I’d propose, a pole in the middle of the gym, and pole dancing practices?” she asks and I chuckle a little.

“No, actually I thought more of that fake bull that people ride” I tell her and she covers her mouth softly laughing. Hayley made sure she did everything with perfection, everything she did was as smooth as butter, even the way she spoke. It always terrified me.

“You know that’s actually a good idea” she goes on.

“Oh no, I don’t think anyone would be interested in riding that kind of shit in here” I tell her and she looks at me, smirking a little.

“I would” she says and the laughter drains from my system as I allow myself to think too much on what she meant by that statement, but then pushed it all the way back and decided to go on with the bull talk.

“Of course you would” I shrug.

“And what’s that supposed to mean Alison?” she questions raising one of her eyebrows.

“It means I think you can ride a bull” I shrug and look at her, smirking as I raise one of my eyebrows. “What do you think I meant by that Hayley?” I ask and she scoffs licking her lower lip slowly as her look intensifies and I stand there letting her stare at me, feeling very little effect of her deep blue, icy eyes on me. I was actually feeling pretty good about myself for not letting her see how much she reminded me of my past which I hated, and I knew I could keep this going, as long as we never spoke about the past.

“Nothing, nothing at all” she drags her words, squinting a little as she looks at me. “You’ve changed alot” she says suddenly, eyeing me up and down and I recall what Austin said.

“Yeah, I’m taller now” I comment, feeling good that she noticed change, that’s a good sign.

“Yeah, among other things” her eyes trail up slowly from my legs to my face and I frown a little. What was she doing?

“Mmmhm, I’m also older”. Her eyes land on mine and she smiles scoffing, a laughter, and I squint wondering what was going on in her mind. Was it a flaw she had noticed and was now happy she had broken up with me long ago, or was it the opposite. Good thing, I cared but not enough to ask, as I said I didn’t want to be involved in her shit and that included her thoughts.

“Among other things” she says again but before we can go on with this awfully awkward moment, music interrupts us and I recognize it as ‘sweather weather’ by the neighbourhoods. She reaches into her pants pocket and removes her phone, looking at the screen and excusing herself. The neighbourhoods, was one of our favourite bands back then and she would always say that they gave her a certain peaceful, warm yet cold feeling she liked. Was it still the same?

“Hey babe” she chuckles receiving the phone and I watch as she walks a bit further from me. Wow, you know back then I would struggle with the thought of having to see Hayley with someone else. I would’ve actually rather die than see anyone giving her what I was supposed to be giving her, making her happy, fucking her, but it’s funny cause I did. I saw her get fucked, didn’t have to imagine that and I lived through the pain of memory. And now, I really didn’t give a shit what she did with her life, as long as it didn’t affect my gym, she could go fuck herself for all I cared.

I watch her walk back to me a small frown on her face then she looks up at me and smiles a little “Sorry about that” she says and I stand up straight, pocketing into my pants as I study her.

“Priorities” I shrug.

“Yeah, now I have to go” she says rubbing her hands together nervously and I nod.

“Okay”.

“I hope we can get the new arrangement done by the end of this week” she says and I nod again.

“Just hit me up when you’re ready for that” I tell her and she nods smiling.

“I’m glad I get to work with you” she says. I mean I’m not so glad I get to work with her, I’m just glad I might be able to win Nik’s dumb bet. And the fact that he had been quiet the past days scared the shit out of me, what was he planning? And when would he call next to ruin my peace? It made me so anxious to even receive a call when my phone rung. It’s like in one of those creepy scary movies where you get a call from your killer that’s what Nik’s calls felt like, because they were unexpected and you didn’t know what his message would be at all.

I watch Hayley do her awkwrad tight lip smile before she waves and walks out of the gym, not looking back, she seemed to be in a hurry and awfully nervous about something. Whatever it was I hope it had nothing to do with my gym and the investment.

**

I wait patiently for the door to open as I make a point to fix my clothes and hair for the last time, I could hear the fotsteps approaching the door and I felt my heart rate increase a little due to how nervous and excited I was to see her. I hadn’t seen her in about two days and that was a lot more than required, It felt like a month without her stupid comments and beautiful face. I hear the clicking of the door knob and I smile leaning against the door frame as it slowly opens.

“Well hello there pretty lady” I greet out of reflex but regret it immediately.

“Pretty, yes… Lady, not so much” a guy with red hair that I’ve never seen before smirks as he eyes me and I frown suddenly feeling confused and embarrassed. “I’m Loui” he chuckles stretching his hand for me to shake and I frown harder as I slowly shake his hand, wondering who the fuck he was and what he was doing in Sparks’ place. “You a friend of Flame?” he asks and I scoff. Friend? he didn’t know what he was talking about, I wasn’t just a friend.

‘you’re a what? fuck buddy?’. my conscience mocked me.

“Yeah” I nod, decididng to go along with that and he opens the door wider letting me in.

“Cammon in” he smiles, still eyeing me in this weird way and I stare right back at him, wondering who the fuck he was, and what he was doing here so freaking late. “Name ?” he says.

“Huh?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Your name”.

“Oh, Cainine” I say and he chuckles ruffling his spiky hair.

“Nice name”.

“Who wa-” I turn my head towards the living room area and find Sparks seated, her bare legs spread on the couch, bare azin she was wearing shorts exposing her legs. She normally did that… Yes, but she was with this guy I didn’t know, and were they alone? Hopefully the fuck not and if they were, the joke was on them, cause I was here now. Yeah. “Oh hey, you didn’t tell me you were coming” she smiles. What did that mean? She didn’t want me to be here or something?

“Yeah, just wanted to surprise you” I say trying to smile but the sudden urge to throw up refused to let me do that.

“Lucky for you, I like surprises” she says and waves her eyebrows at me and this immediately got me to smile for some resaon. “Come sit” she calls on to me patting the couch next to her and I walk to her but not before Loui, who should’ve gotten the hint and left when I got here spoke again.

“Giving my sit away already?” I look up at him and squint a little and feeling a bit more irriatated than I should.

“Shut up, you can sit on the floor” Sparks says and right then I hear the toilet flushing thanking the heavens they were not alone and hoping whoever would come out would be his girlfriend and or boyfriend.

“I hope the stupid movie is over now-” I sigh painfully as Logan appears from the corridors. Why the hell didn’t I just go drinking with the guys, what stopped me huh?

“Jesus fucking christ, what’s she doing here?” he speaks pointing at me and I smile at how irritated he looked. It was Loui’s girlfriend alright.

“Cammon Logan” Sparks mumbles.

“I was actually thinking about you earlier today” I tell him and walk over to the couch plopping down as he frowns looking at me as if I murdered his puppy.

“Thinking of what? The next thing you’ll break in my body” he says and I scoff. I never got how he could have such an ass attitude when he was the one that asked to be punched. I also never got how he was Sparks’ twin. Never.

“I don’t have to think about that it’s an instinct I have” I wave him off “I actually have a job for you now” I tell him and he sighs looking over at his sister then rolling his eyes. I was enjoying how this tortured him.

“What?” he asks.

“Stop over by the gym on the weekend, we can talk about it” I smile, winking at him.

“Sure” he shrugs, then pauses for a minute. “Now, has someone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are” he smirks, completely catching me off guard and I frown.

“Logan, shut the hell up” Flame speaks again. Her brother was so weird, he would be crying over how I broke his nose a few months ago in one moment and trying to hit on me in the other. 

“Whatever” he waves her off “What’s for dinner anyways?”.

“I don’t know, go have dinner at your place” Flame shrugs and I couldn’t agree more. I wanted him and his boyfriend Loui gone.

“Oh hell no, I’m here for your cooking” Loui speaks pointing Flame.

“I thought you guys were here to watch the movie and it’s over now, go back to the frat house you crawled out of…” Sparks tells them sitting up and I watch as her impossibly dark hair brushes over her soft face and she pushes it back, pointing her brother as she argues with him. She looked really chill today, in what looked like her pajama shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt that was a bit long but also a bit open on the clevage leaving her skin exposed.

“You know, you can really be a bitch at times” Logan tells his sister.

“Tell me something I don’t know” Sparks nods and Logan rolls his eyes.

“Lucky for you, we had plans tonight” Loui points her “or else I would’ve just sat here and waited all night if I had to” he says picking up what looked like his phone from the coffee table.

“You guys can’t just boss me around like that” she shakes her head looking a little bothered and I smile at how cute she always managed to look, even when cringing. Damn you could convince me anything except that Flame Sparks was actually from this universe, she just seemed unreal, something that I would create in my imagination. You know, just perfectly imperfect.

“Lock the door on you way out” she says and rolls her eyes as logan peaks his head through the corridor to flip her off.

“Nice meeting you” Loui laughs as he points at me and I nod waving eyebrows.

“See you then I guess” Logan says peaking his head through the door once more and I give him a grin.

“See you then”.

I hear as they talk, walking to the door and laughing out loud before I hear the door slam shut and their voices slowly fading away.

“Hi there” I turn around to find Sparks seated cross legged staring at me, smiling.

“Hi” I smile back loving the fact that I now had her full attention and no one was around, this was how it was supposed to be.

“Can I get you something to drink or eat?” she asks and I shake my head just looking at her. I mean she could get me her, I’d appreciate that.

I sit there silently staring at her and she just smiles looking back at me as if she was sterned I was there at the moment.

“I like how you just show up at times, totally unexpectedly” she shrugs as if she read my mind and I scoff.

“Just tell me you missed me” I tease.

“Me? Never” she intentionally denies it poorly “What’s there to miss anyways” she adds and I shove her a little.

“If you’ll be as bad a psychologist as you are a liar then just give up and try being a dog trainer, that might work out for you, with your inhuman behaviour at times” I tell her and she frowns suddenly and places her feet down ready to get up.

“Look who’s talking with their stupid dog name” she retorts and I chuckle.

“Leave my name out of this, where the fuck are you going?” I ask her as she stands up to walk away and she turns as I stand up ready to follow her. She eyes me, for a while before gesturing to the seat.

“Sit” she commands and crosses her arms, and I frown sitting back down as she she smirks. “Huh, I can be a dog trainer” she says seeming satisfied with herself and then walks off leaving me there with a frown of shock. Did she just call me a dog and command me like a dog, and did I just listen? This woman had to have something over me, even I couldn’t believe I just listened to her ‘sit’ command.

She appears a few minutes later with a bottle of beer in her hand and sits on the couch next to me, eyeing me for a while before smiling. “Here doggy” she stretches the beer to me chuckling a little at the frown on my face.

“You’re now taking the joke a bit too far” I smile snatching the bottle from her hand and she goes on laughing.

“You started it” she says and I chuckle a little taking a small sip of the cold beer, and noticing I didn’t even ask for it, she just decided to get it for me, she knew I couldn’t say no to beer. “Are you okay?” she suddenly asks and I look away from the bottle to her.

“Yeah, why you asking, do I look not okay?” I ask getting a bit defensive and she rolls her eyes.

“I don’t know, you could look it but not be it” she says then studies me carefully “How’d the meeting with her go?”. Ugh I didn’t feel like talking about Hayley.

“I thought you’d be asking about my haircut first before that” I chuckle.

“I’ll come to that” she chuckles and I notice her eyes look over at my hair and move slowly settling on my eyes “I need to know about the meeting first”.

“Well” I shrug and she just looks at me as if she wants more information. What more could she possibly want? “It went well” I say again and she still stares at me blankly.

“Uh huh?” she raises her eyebrows and I sigh, what the fuck did she want to hear?

“We agreed on everything and I even signed some documents with her today, It took a lot in me to stay calm yesterday, but I was pretty high and weird enough, after coming to an agreement, we went ahead and got high together in my car-” I say and come to a halt deciding to stay quiet not knowing wheather that could incriminate me in Sparks’ eyes.

“You did what?” she asks not sounding mad just surprised, her eyes wide as she studies me.

“Well she asked wheather I had weed on me and I had some in my car, so I figured why not if I was trying to put the past behind us, and so we smoked a bit in my car then she left” I explain and she nods frowning a bit.

“How’d that make you feel?” she asks and I get a bit frustrated, what was with the stupid questions.

“Nothing really, I was too high to think properly and I honestly don’t want to care, I don’t want to feel shit when I’m with her” I say and Sparks’ eyes widen.

“Why’s that?” she asks.

“Because, she obviously doesn’t give a shit about the past, she doesn’t give a shit about my feelings, she never did, why should I?” I ask.

“You should” Sparks says. What the fuck was she going on about? “Stop trying to run, stop trying to push your emotions all the way back, I’m not asking you to care about her, I’m asking you to care about you and consider your feelings in this, just because she doesn’t, does not mean you shouldn’t” she explains and I sigh looking up.

“Why is everything so complicated?” I groan.

“Because your past has cought up to your present and you just need to deal with it” she says as if it’s nothing big and I look back at her “It’s another item on your to-do list that you need to be done with” she shrugs then sighs “And the only way to be able to sort out through your emotions and feelings with her-“.

“I don’t have any” I interupt her getting defensive again and Sparks looks at me with what looked like sympathy. I hated it.

“You need to forgive her to be able to let go of all that she did to you and all the pain you’ve had since…” she goes on and I look back up again leaning on the couch as I run a palm down my face. 

Forgive her? Forgive how? For what exactly? And how the fuck will that even help me? I did have a lot of anger when it came to Hayley and she made it so hard for me to trust anyone in my life without thinking they’d fuck me up in the end. I mean if she did, who wouldn’t? “It’s not something you need to do now, take your time okay?” Sparks speaks again and I feel her place her hand on mine sending a warm feeling all the way to my heart. One thing I knew though, was holding on to what Hayls did, brought nothing but sadness and pain into my life, so what was the need to hold on to it? It sucked how sparks was always right.

“You know I really didn’t come here to talk” I say turning a little to look at Sparks and her eyebrows furrow making me smile a little.

“Too bad it’s all I feel like doing tonight” she says and I frown too pouting a little. “Ohh poor doggy what do you want?” she coose pouting back at me and I roll my eyes. Of course she’d go on with that joke. 

“Cammon, lighten up” she laughs and I feel as her hand suddenly grabs my ponytail from the back pulling on it, making me sit up.

“What the hell?” I rub the spot she’d pulled and she licks her lower lip, pulling it in her mouth before smiling a little and nodding.

“I like your new haircut” she comments making me smile suddenly, That’s all it took, a small compliment from Sparks to make me smile like some idiot.

“Of course you do, I told you it’s all for you” I smirk as I watch her smile a little and look away.

**

Re-editor me here, damn it’s hard to re-edit because there’re somethings I’m dying to change but I cant coz well, it might fuck up the story line but I think we’re doing good so far. Yeah, I’m almost done. So vote and comment because there’s no need to be siilent, no reason for that at all.