Chapter 18

𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗 

What I witnessed back there?

Yeah…I need a refund on my eyesight. Ion even need it anymore. I’d love to unsee that with my memory, and whatever part of my soul recorded it. Matter of fact, somebody come take both eyes. I’ve seen enough for this lifetime and the next.

By the time we hit the next stop, which was a gas station that smelled like pure regret and burnt coffee, I was already over it. We all used the washroom, did what needed to be done, and I made a wise decision. A mature and peaceful one.

I switched cars with Essence. Yes, voluntarily at that. ‘Cause she wanted to ride with Aries so bad? Cool. Take her. Enjoy. Thrive. Flourish even.

Just leave me alone.

I wasn’t about to fight her for it. Not today. Not with what I just saw.

“So… are we gonna talk about what we saw?” Imani finally said once we were back on the road, her music low.

I sat in the backseat, starin’ out the window at the highway like I was in a sad music video.

Britney twisted around in her seat to look at me, and I sighed, rubbin’ my temples like I had a headache formin’ just from existing.

“Honestly, I don’t even give a damn,” I said.

Silence filled the car for a second.

Then—

“Okay… but—” Imani started.

“She’s just weird as fuck??” I cut in, shaking my head, my chin restin’ in my palm. “And I’ll accept that. Y’all steady up in this girl face like y’all friends.”

I glanced between them. “Not me though. I rebuke it.”

“That was a lil’ shady, I can’t lie,” Britney added.

I scoffed like I didn’t mean every word. “Was it? Or was it honest?”

‘Cause let’s be serious. We all saw it, we all processed it. And now I’m supposed to sit there like everythin’ normal?

No ma’am??

Then there’s Aries who was confused as hell about why I switched cars, and honestly? Good. Stay confused. Because if I stayed in that car, I probably would’ve cussed her out like I lost my home trainin’ the second she breathed too loud.

And I’m trying—trying—to control what I say to her. ‘Cause last time I opened my mouth, I said somethin’ reckless.

And I’m not tryna repeat that.

So, yeah. Distance.

But stayin’ with the girls? Yeah… that ain’t last long. By the third stop, which was just a snack break, she approached me anyway.

I was in line mindin’ my business, lookin’ at chips like they could fix my life, when she stepped up behind me like she had a tracker on my location.

She tapped her card to pay before I could even argue, and I huffed, my eyes immediately landing on Essence across the store.

And oh—she was starin’. Hard. Like I stepped on a pair of her white shoes with mud.

I looked in front of me ’cause I didn’t wanna look at Aries either. I already knew if I did, my brain would reboot like a slow laptop and I’d forget why I was even mad in the first place.

“Lo, I want you to ride with me,” she said, leanin’ down slightly.

I smiled sweetly at the cashier like I didn’t hear a single word that just came out Aries’ mouth. I took my paper bag, and walked off.

Yes, I ignored her. And yes, I felt powerful for about three seconds, but right after that, she dragged me outside.

“Can you tell me what’s up?” she huffed, clearly irritated.

I shrugged like I didn’t have a care in the world. “Nun.”

She grabbed my waist and pulled me closer, makin’ me push her back immediately. “Don’t start, Aries.”

She sucked her teeth. “Lo, c’mon. Seriously? “

She tilted her head, and I exhaled sharply, already annoyed. “Are you and Essence datin’?” I blurted.

Her brows furrowed instantly. “What? No?”

She stepped back like I accused her of a crime, and I rolled my eyes.

“Sooo? What’d she kiss you for then?”

She stiffened then pinched the bridge of her nose like she was fed up with my questions. “It was the cheek, and Ion even know why she did that.”

“Nigga, be so for real,” I said, foldin’ my arms. “We know why. And I know it was the cheek. We all saw it. We got eyes. Functioning ones. Unfortunately.”

She huffed, runnin’ a hand over her face. “Is that why you ridin’ with Imani and Britney?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, to give y’all some alone—”

“Lo,” she cut in, steppin’ closer. “I wanna talk with you. I was having a good time with you.”

I scoffed, starin’ off at the parked cars. “Fuck you.”

She didn’t even flinch, she just grabbed my chin, turnin’ my face toward her. “What I tell you ’bout lookin’ at me when we talkin’?”

I froze for half a second, then pushed her hand away. My jaw clenched, annoyed… but not enough to say what I wanted to say to her face.

Because for some reason—I couldn’t.

Seriously, the fuck is wrong with me? I know damn well I ain’t sick??

“Just ride with Essence,” I muttered, turnin’ away. “I’m sure we’ll get paired for rooms anyway.”

I started to walk off, but she pulled me right back in by my waist, with a frustrated huff. “Why is you so damn stubborn like peace ain’t free?”

“It’s what you signed up for,” I shot back.

She nodded. “I know. And Ion regret it.”

And before I could react, she pulled me closer, holdin’ me tight. I struggled a little, not a lot…But just enough to say I tried…

“I’ll take you the rest of the way there, mama.”

I gasped like she cursed me out and immediately slapped my hand over her mouth. “Aries, shut the hell up!?”

My face went hot instantly, heat crawling all the way up my neck like my body had no loyalty to me whatsoever.

I hated that name. Hated the way she said it. Hated how easy it came out her mouth.

Hated how it made me feel.

“Lo, please,” she said softly once I let go.

I mushed her face with my hand. “Okay, nigga!? Shut up! Ion know why you doin’ all that beggin’!?”

I wasn’t even mad, I just needed her to stop talkin’. Immediately.

She chuckled, and I let out a long, dramatic huff, grabbin’ her by her shirt as I started dragging her back inside.

“We’re switchin’ back,” I said flatly, loud enough for everybody to hear.

And Essence? Oh, she opened her mouth immediately.

“What?? Why??” Essence snapped, loud like I just told her the trip got cancelled.

“I wanna sleep, and Aries has the biggest car,” I replied, real calm, real simple, like this wasn’t about to ruin her whole mood.

She huffed. “Whatever.”

I leaned forward, restin’ my hand behind my ear like I suddenly couldn’t hear. “What? Repeat that?”

She shook her head quick. “Nothing.”

“Oh. Okay.” I nodded slowly, smilin’ just enough to be irritating. “That’s what I thought.”

Britney snorted, Imani coughed to hide her laugh, and Khalil just looked between us like he was watching a tennis match.

Once we were back on the road, though, everything got… quieter. But not awkward quiet.

It was just the first time Aries and I actually got into a real conversation. Like actually talkin’. Not arguin’, not throwin’ little comments back and forth, not me dodgin’ questions like I’m in the matrix. 

Talkin’.

And I don’t do that. Not like that. I normally avoid it like it’s contagious, ‘Cause I hate when people ask me questions ’bout my life. It makes me itch. Makes me wanna lie. Makes me wanna suddenly become mute.

But for some reason… I didn’t shut it down this time.

“My mom has another family…” I started, clearin’ my throat like the words felt weird coming out.

Aries didn’t interrupt. She hummed softly, lettin’ me know she was listening, even though her eyes stayed on the road.

“She left when I was like… seven?” I went on, fiddlin’ with my nails like they suddenly needed maintenance. “Said livin’ in the hood was too much for her. So she went and found some rich man, married him, had kids…whole new ass life…”

Aries’ grip on the wheel tightened just a little, but she stayed quiet. She then glanced at me briefly, then started. “Isn’t your dad—”

“Now he is,” I cut in with a scoff. “He worked his ass off to get there. Even if it was… you know. A little illegal at first…”

She didn’t react. Just nodded, switching lanes smoothly like she was givin’ me space to keep goin’ if I wanted.

“He don’t want me around that stuff anymore,” I added. “But I mean… I dated Jalen for a long time. So that life never really left either of us.”

I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal as if it didn’t still sit somewhere in my chest.

“You’d be a wonderful mother though,” she said softly. “I hope you know that, Londyn.”

Now why would she say that..?

I felt my chest tighten, my hand instinctively grippin’ my own wrist like my body was tryna hold something in place.

Before I could even notice it myself, her hand moved over, gently pullin’ mine away from my wrist and lacing our fingers together like it was the most natural thing ever.

I blinked.

“The hell is you doin’?” I asked, my face scrunchin’ up.

She rolled her eyes, a small chuckle slippin’ out. “Be quiet and just hold my hand, Londyn.”

“You’re being weird,” I muttered, but my hand tightened around hers anyway.

Yeah…mad weird, but I didn’t let go though.

“Yeah, yeah,” she mocked, draggin’ it out before pausin’. “What would you name your kid?”

“August,” I answered immediately.

And the SECOND I felt her grip loosen like she was about to say sumn slick, I pointed at her sharply. “Don’t even start. I do not wanna hear ‘what’s the next childs’ name, September?’ I will pull this car over myself”

I cut my eyes at her.

She froze for half a second, then cleared her throat. “Nah, it’s—uh…” She laughed, shakin’ her head. “I said I would too if I was ever given the chance.

My eyes widened. “You’d name your child August too!?”

My heart did that stupid thump thing again like it had something to prove.

“Great minds think alike…huh..” I muttered, trying to play it off, suddenly very interested in tuckin’ my hair behind my ear.

“Yeah…” she said, quieter this time. And just like that, the car felt smaller, warmer. Different.

The rest of the ride we continued to talk about little things, big things, dumb things, Serious things. Stuff I don’t usually say out loud. Stuff she didn’t either.

Next thing I knew, it hit midnight, we were deep in convos. Like “how did we even get here” type of convo.

And by 3 a.m., we finally pulled up to the Airbnb, dead tired but still functioning off vibes and snacks. We were the last ones to get there too, because Aries had jet lag from her trip to my dad and took a quick nap before gettin’ back on the road.

Which I didn’t complain about, ‘Cause I knocked out too. But the second we walked in?

Yeah, my peace left my body. Because apparently… room arrangements had already been decided.

Without me.

“Fuck you mean she bribed you with food for the whole trip?” I snapped, starin’ dead at Imani and Britney like I was about to start flippin’ furniture.

Britney froze mid-bite, burger halfway in her mouth, sauce all over her face like she was caught in 4K.

No napkin and no shame.

Ain’t no damn way….

Imani scratched her head like she was thinking of a lie but couldn’t find one fast enough. “It’s… one bed too,” she added.

My eyes widened so fast I swear I felt a breeze. And I’m talkin’, eyes so wide they ’bout to fall out their sockets and roll across the floor and slide under the damn bed.

“You’re fucking lyin’,” I laughed, but it wasn’t funny. Not even a little.

They both shook their heads. Dead serious.

Oh, this is evil. This is premeditated. This a whole ass setup.

“This bitch knew,” I muttered, turnin’ slowly. No wonder she bribed these greedy ass, food-motivated, sellout ass—

She really bought them off with snacks…

These bitches deadass sold me out for a combo meal… 

Unbelievable…

“Oh, y’all sick,” I muttered, pointin’ between them. “Real bad. Both of you. No morals. No loyalty. All it took was a burger and a dream?”

Britney swallowed quick. “It was a combo, though…”

“Girl, that don’t help?!”

Imani scratched the side of her neck as she looked away. “She said breakfast too…”

I paused.

“Wow.”

I looked around the room like I was seekin’ help from the holy spirit.

“See, this is why I don’t trust y’all.”

Britney licked sauce off her thumb. “You’ll be aight.”

“You—” I grumbled harshly, throwing my hands up like I was about to start preaching. “You big backs!” I stormed off, dramatic as hell, and went searchin’ for Khalil like he was finna solve all my problems.

I turned the corner too fast and smacked right into Chelsea.

“Damn—” I gasped, grabbin’ my chest. “Where’s Khalil!?”

She blinked at me then jerked her thumb behind her. “Out like a light.”

I groaned so loud it echoed. I threw my head back like the ceilin’ had answers for me. “I needa smoke. I can’t put up with this bullshit.”

Chelsea just watched me walk off like, yeah… she’s spiralin’.

I marched back into my room where the traitors were, extendin’ my hand like a drug lord collectin’ payment. “Gas. Now.”

Imani groaned dramatically, diggin’ through her pocket like I asked for her social security number. “You always got an attitude.”

“And you always got my blunt,” I shot back.

She handed me the bottle, and I hummed in satisfaction, turnin’ on my heel and headin’ outside.

The backyard was actually cute. Little pool, lounge chairs, soft lighting… real Pinterest vibes. The type of place you’d take pictures and lie about your life.

I stepped out, ready to light up and find my peace—but before I could even flick the lighter…I glanced through the glass doors and froze.

Because why was Aries walkin’ past in just a sports bra and a towel wrapped around her waist like she didn’t have any sense???

Now see, why would she do that?

I stood there for exactly one second then got up like I was being called to duty. Because what we not finna do is have her casually walkin’ into my room half-dressed.

I made my way back inside and into my room, catchin’ her by the door frame. My eyes—traitorous as hell—dragged up her back before I reached out and poked her spine like I needed to confirm she was real.

“Why you here?” I asked, tryna sound normal.

She turned around. And—Yeah. My brows furrowed immediately because I definitely caught a glimpse of somethin’ I deadass had no business catchin’.

At all.

Immediately, I looked up. Because I have morals, respect, standards, self-control, and a my black—owned business to maintain.

She jerked her thumb behind her. “The shower in there ain’t workin’. I was just askin’ if I can use this one.”

I leaned to the side just enough to see Imani and Britney behind her, nodding’ike bobbleheads at a car dealership.

Oh.

So now y’all wanna help?

I straightened back up, clearin’ my throat. “…Yeah. Go ‘head.”

She sighed like she just ran a marathon and walked straight into the bathroom. But the second that door closed I immediately turned to the two criminals in my room.

“We’ll sleep in the livin’ room,” they both said at the same time, already backin’ up like they were evacuating a crime scene.

I rolled my eyes so hard I almost passed out.

“Y’all tryna make up for the fact that I’ve been two-timed,” I said, shakin’ my head slowly. “Shame. Disgusting behavior.”

Britney wheezed, doublin’ over, and I sucked my teeth, tossin’ the bottle back to Imani.

“Keep that. Ion even need it no more. I got bigger problems.”

“Are we gonna talk ’bout that print—” Imani started.

“No. We aren’t,” I cut her off immediately.

Britney snorted on her drink so hard she started coughin’ like she forgot how to breathe.

I hummed, noddin’ as I folded my arms. “That’s what you get.”

Imani laughed, slappin’ Britney’s back while she coughed like her life was flashin’ before her eyes.

“Essence is just gonna complain that she’s gone anyway,” I added, rollin’ my eyes.

Imani shrugged like she couldn’t care less. “It’s whatever.”

“It’s always whatever with y’all,” I huffed, pacin’ a little.

Britney casually pulled out beef jerky like she was at movie night, and I just stared at her, shakin’ my head slowly like a disappointed mother.

“I got betrayed…over some damn food.”

“To be fair,” Britney said between chews, “you still can’t admit you got a lil’ crush on Aries. And Essence can. Sooo…”

I pressed my lips together flat.

“I don’t have a crush,” I said, rollin’ my eyes.

“Okay,” Britney nodded like she didn’t believe me at all. “I dare you to talk to a boy when we hit the beach tomorrow.”

I shrugged immediately. “Easy.”

“Easy my ass,” Imani cut in.. “You say that, but you strugglin’ to keep your cool when Essence ’round yo girl.”

I waved them off like they were being ridiculous. “She’s cute, but that’s it.”

They both looked at each other with the same wide, evil smirk.

“Oop—”

“Okay—she’s fine as fuck,” I corrected, throwin’ my hands up. “But that’s it! She still get on my nerves.”

And right as the words left my mouth—the water stopped runnin’.

I froze, my head snappin’ toward the bathroom like I heard a gunshot.

My jaw dropped as I slowly turned back to them. “She ain’t hear that, right?” I whispered.

They didn’t even answer me. Just snickered, got up and ran. Fast. Like rats leaving a sinking ship.

I let out a long, dramatic groan, draggin’ my hands down my face like I was about to evaporate.

And then, a chuckle.

My eyes snapped toward the bathroom like I just heard my name in a group chat. The door opened, and there she was, walking out as if she didn’t just hear something that could be used against me in court. Her hair dripping wet, little drops fallin’ down her neck like they had somewhere to be.

My breath hitched. For no reason at all.

She had on a pair of sweatpants, and my eyes—my eyes betrayed me again.

Immediately, they dropped then shot right back up like I touched a hot stove.

She smirked. “She’s fine as fuck, but she gets on my nerves?'” she repeated, walkin’ toward me like she had all the time in the world.

I groaned, backin’ up like she was the problem. “Go away!”

She laughed, clearly not going anywhere.

“You wanna help me?” she asked, tiltin’ her head slightly.

“No,” I said instantly. “Fuck off.”

And then stood up anyway.

See, this is what I be talking about…

I grabbed the towel off her shoulders like I had no control over my own body, and she sat down at the edge of my bed like this was already decided, while I stood in front of her, gently dryin’ her hair.

“I got peer pressured to say that,” I muttered, clearin’ my throat like that was a valid defense.

She hummed, not convinced at all.

“Khalil told me Essence bribed—” She started.

“Don’t even start,” I cut in quick, shootin’ her a look.

She chuckled, leanin’ forward just a little until her head rested against my stomach like she just… belonged there.

What is happenin’….

My hands stilled in her hair as I froze for half a second, starin’ down at her like my brain was tryna catch up to my body again.

“Can you stay tonight,” I started, my voice quieter now. “Just for tonight, I need—”

“I was already planning on it, Lo.” She looked up at me, her hands slidin’ to my waist and pullin’ me down into her lap like it was the most natural thing in the world.

What the fuck.

“Aries—” I started, but my voice came out a little thinner than I liked.

She didn’t move, she just sat there, holdin’ me steady, still lookin’ at me like she wasn’t the reason my entire system was ’bout to malfunction.

My hands were still in her hair, still holding the towel.

“You just… do stuff,” I muttered, starin’ down at her. “Like you don’t warn nobody ’bout shit.”

She smirked, real slight. “You want a warning next time?”

“Yes,” I said immediately. “Matter of fact, a countdown. A notification. An email. Somethin’.”

She laughed, her grip on my waist tightenin’ just a little.

And I—I hated that I didn’t move…Didn’t even try. Instead, I just sat there, lookin’ down at her like I was trying to remember why I was mad in the first place.

Which, at this point?

Was getting real hard to do.