Chapter 7

I’ll think about overturning the government later, I mused, as I brought water and tea to her room. I set it down on her nightstand and glanced at the warm light coming through the partially open door of the bathroom. The shower was running, and I couldn’t help but picture her naked body under the stream of hot water. It wasn’t an altogether sensual image. It was tinted by my affection for her and my sympathy for her extreme exhaustion after a frustrating day like today. I was happy her muscles got some relief. It was sentimental more than arousing, I thought.

I walked back to the guest room and booted up my laptop as I started on my second beer and changed into comfy pajamas.

I kept writing where I had left off in my novel. It was farther than I’ve ever gotten in finishing a book. I’d tried before, but always lost steam right before the major climax.

This, though, was easier. After I’d broken up with my ex, I was inspired to continue to write. I had a stroke of genius a few days ago, and I worked towards this exciting new plot point.

She knocked on my door.

She was wearing an oversized shirt and some loose grey pajama bottoms.

“Hey!” I smiled at her, and she smiled back immediately.

“Hi! Thank you for my tea!”

“You’re welcome! Did you want to do something? Veg out in front of the TV or have a late dinner?”

“I’m not hungry. Can I just sit with you for a minute? You’re not going to sleep yet, are you?”

“Were you watching porn?” She asked casually, as she slipped under the covers next to me.

“Ha! Maybe later. Right now, I was just writing.”

“Great! Everything feels like it’s coming so easy.” Even as I spoke, I kept typing, proving my words.

“That’s great! I’ll just have my tea quietly. I just wanted to thank you for today. You made it suck a little less, thank you.”

“It was the scotch, huh? That’s some damn good scotch.”

“It was good, thank you. No, I mean everything else you did today. I was able to make a lot of headway in work with you filtering everything.”

“You’re welcome. Any time!”

She sipped at her peach tea, and I kept typing. What’s another word for exquisite?

I hadn’t noticed I’d said it out loud but I read back the passage and realized it worked better in this context.

“Yeah! That’s great, thank you!”

I kept typing and after a while, lost steam, but I still wanted to get the next scene down. It was so clear in my head. I dug into my messenger bag and pulled out blank pieces of paper and my favorite pen.

“Now what are you doing?”

“I get tired of computers pretty quickly. Paper is much more sexy.”

“What?” She sounded amused.

“Yeah, like the rough grain of paper under the pads of your fingers, it’s something real. Then when you put your pen to it, it immediately leaves behind a stark black mark. You move in your own way with your own personality and it leaves a mark, a real mark in the world.”

“Hm. Yeah, that is sexy.”

I glanced at her but it didn’t seem like she was making fun of me.

“I’m sorry. You probably want to chat.” I put my folio on the nightstand and grabbed my beer.

“No! I’m so tired, I can’t hold a conversation right now.”

I frowned, wondering what on earth she came in here for, then. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

She hummed as I grabbed my folio again, and kept writing furiously.

Eventually, I heard snoring on her side. I quietly got up to turn off her bedside lamp, and slip the teacup from her grasp.

She was leaning against the headboard, and I looked her over. I took the covers off and grabbed her by her hips, pulling her down to lie down. She moaned, and gripped my hand in sleep. My heart fluttered.

Her grip relaxed, and I covered her back up, just stealing one more glance at her soft belly with her navel in full view.

I wished I could be the one who held her after a long day, stupidly glossing over the fact that I was there. She’d chosen me to spend the night with. She was so comfortable and at peace with me that she wanted to have her tea next to me and not on her ridiculously comfortable luxury bed.

But I only saw that in retrospect, years later. In the moment, I wallowed in the fact she was straight.

I was snoring when she slapped me lightly across the face.

“Mor, we’re late! Get up. We forgot to set an alarm!”

“Okay, okay!” I scrambled to get all my papers together, and made us two instant oatmeals as we ran out. I took off my hoodie as I drove then reached behind me to grab at my overnight bag and slip on my navy sweater at another red light.

“Huh?” I frowned at her.

“You’re nice, Mor… But you shouldn’t have to go through all this with me.”

I frowned harder. “What?”

“I read a couple of your pages before I woke you up. I know you’ve said you like to write, but what I read was beautiful. You shouldn’t have to spend your nights making sure my reports are turned in.”

“Oh, darling! No, that was just one day! Yesterday was hard, but today will be better! You’ll see!” I said it with a wide smile, and she smiled wanly back at me. She slipped her hand on the back of my head, and I luxuriated in her rare touch.

“I don’t think I’ve been very nice to you.” She collected her things then stepped out of my car.

I panicked because I’m the one who usually holds her bag and opens all the doors for her.

“What did you mean by that?” I asked nervously while we were in the elevator.

“I mean you should do what you’re best at.” She said simply.

“Okay?” I pressed nervously. The elevator bell dinged, and she stepped out confidently. I followed her, wordlessly now, since we were around our colleagues.

She didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t dare ask. So the day passed as normal. I held a niggling doubt at the back of my head but I did my job. At five o’clock, she popped her head out of her office and dismissed me.

“We’re done for the day, Mor! Thank you!”

I stared as her glass door swung closed. Frowning in confusion,

I started packing up my stuff.

I drove home and as soon as I entered my kitchen, I flexed my hands; staring at the cabinet doors, I let the overwhelming anxiety wash over me, finally.

What the fucking hell?

I called Jesse for a night out.

“We’ll take a gimlet and a sidecar. Plus a side of chips and artichoke dip. And… calamari?” He glanced at me, and I nodded into the wooden table. “Calamari too! With as much garlic as you can! On EVERYTHING!” The waiter left, and I punched my temple in frustration. “Drinking on a weekday, Mor? What’s up?”

I looked up to see him take a swig from his flask. I rubbed violently at my eyes.

“I don’t know what’s going on. Suzie said some weird stuff today, and I don’t know where I stand. I got the feeling she didn’t want to be my friend any more.”

“Hmm. Welcome to being a man.” He toasted me with his gaudy flask.

“No, Arthur’s weed lemonade. Want some?”

“Sure.” He passed it to me, and I had a few ounces.

“Yeah, tastes like lemonade. So I don’t know what to do.” I rubbed at my thighs.

“When did she start acting weird?”

“This morning. No! Wait! Yesterday! After I told her I did her report for her.”

Our drinks came, and I ordered us an actual dinner since I was apparently going to get high tonight, too.

“I’ll take your scallops with fettuccine and he’ll take your jambalaya but can you bring him a prime rib on the side too? And… a side of duck fat fries for us both.” I was already overly hungry from the lemonade, and he would eat anything I put in front of him anyway. He neglected to cook for himself sometimes so I tried to make sure he had leftovers.

“Thanks!” I looked over to see him touching his arm with avid focus. “So it was late, and I did a report for her to save us time.”

“Ah-ha! That’s the issue!” He slurped at his water, licking at the condensation on the glass.

“Yeah, but why? She just said she hadn’t been being nice to me and went on about me doing what I’m best at, whatever that means.” I thought as I sipped at my water too. Our drinks came, and I commended Jesse on his choice of restaurants. “So why are you high on a Thursday?” This wasn’t uncharacteristic but I didn’t think he would mind me asking.

“Ah! Because my father called me today, and asked me why I was such a waste of space!” He drank at his gimlet.

“Ahh… Sorry, man. I promise one day he’ll buy one of your paintings because he likes it, and then he’ll see your name and EAT his words.”

His eyes were on mine, and I saw them water. I looked away and sniffed roughly.

He continued speaking as if nothing happened.

“Okay! So apparently Suzie has very suddenly realized how much of an emotional hold she has on you, and has developed a conscience. So much so that she has decided to cut ties with you, and has decided to be professional now.”

My mouth was open as I listened to his very clear voice.

“But why?” I squeaked.

“Because, my dear, she is afraid!” He waved his gimlet at me.

“That makes no sense!”

“Women! If they were easier, we’d all have them!”

My calamari came, and I chewed on it, dipping it into the artichoke dip.

“So I should be LESS helpful?” I asked, still frustrated, an hour later.

“Yes! You should quit! And then grab her and kiss her and say, ‘all I want in life is you! I could learn you every day for the rest of my life and be satisfied!'” He mimed having a woman in his arms, and started fake making out with her. The waiter sidled up next to us and looked at him worriedly.

“We’ll take three boxes to go, please! And your bread pudding with ice cream.” I caught the waiter’s attention, hoping he wouldn’t call out Jesse.

“Yes…” The waiter said slowly as Jesse resurfaced, wiping at his mouth.

He drank his water then worked on mine for a long while.

“Sorry!” He apologized to me through a giant gulp of water.

“No worries! I learned a lot from your technique.”

He smiled dopily, clapping as our bread pudding got to the table.

“Yay! My favorite!” He dug in.

I drove us to his apartment, and took out my pajamas from my special drawer. I threw away his father’s generic Birthday card. What a moron! He doesn’t deserve space in my beautiful friend’s brain. Maybe if I moved in with him and we paid rent, he wouldn’t bother him so much. I scoffed lightly to myself. I can’t afford even half of this penthouse.

He was lying on his bed, face down, where I’d left him and I took off his shoes. I rubbed his back before turning out the lights.

I curled up on his couch, still thinking about Suzie, and wondering if any single part of our flimsy relationship was part of my control.

I blinked against the light coming in from the window.

“I have the fancy bagels! And the coffee you like!” I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I smelled the beautiful fresh dough, and a strong cup of coffee was shoved under my nose. I looked at him while I sipped. His hair was tousled artfully, a wide smile on his face, and his crow’s feet were extending almost into his hairline. I knew my friend was hurting but nothing on his face told me that. How odd.

“Thank you, Jesse! ¡Eres un amor!“

He rolled his eyes playfully and took the compliment in stride. I smiled at him and waited.

“So thanks… for yesterday.” He said awkwardly.

“Thank you! Maybe I needed drugs to figure out my girl problem.”

“Oh girl, you need something stronger than that for her! Maybe a little LSD or some shrooms. Ohh! That stuff that they took when they wrote Yellow Submarine.”

I giggled. “You know your dad’s wrong, right? Like, he’s a bona fide idiot.”

He grinned. “Do you know you’re my sister?

“I’m serious! You’re my family, dude!” He stabbed my chest with his finger. “Not them! You!” He shouted aggressively.

I put my bagel and coffee down and hugged him.

“You’re my brother, too, man.” I tried not to cry before work. He gripped at my shoulder, and I could feel him trying not to cry, too.

We had a nice breakfast then I showered and dressed for work. He liked my car, so I lent it to him for the day. He was such a namby pamby about driving himself so I thought it’d be a nice assertion of his–um, well–confidence. Either that or he’ll get a little attention from girls today and lift his mood.