Chapter 8

“Smooth,” Charlie grinned.

“Yes, you are,” Casey unbuttoned her own cuffs.

She removed her blouse and tossing it to one side, changed position as she pulled the dress over her hips and legs, it joined the blouse at the end of the bed and she unclipped her bra while Charlie took off her blouse and skirt. Both women stared at each other for a few moments and then Casey slid onto her back and spreading her legs, stroked her pussy. Charlie moved back to her bedside drawers and opening the bottom drawer, took out a dildo. Casey stared at it with a mixture of anxiety and curiosity.

“You don’t have to,” she reassured her.

“May as well do it right,” she pulled her panties off to reveal a triangular patch of hair, “sorry I haven’t trimmed it.”

“I think I can manage,” Charlie smiled crookedly, “what am I saying? Of course I can manage,” she let her eyes play over Casey’s smallish breasts with upturned nipples, “I think I can see dessert as well.”

“Cheeky,” she bent her knees as she finished removing her panties, “you haven’t even had the main course yet.”

Charlie moved over on top of her and their lips met in a slow and passionate kiss that soon moved to her throat. She kissed her throat with soft, sucking angel kisses and Casey’s eyes rolled back in her head as wandering hands stroked her naked body with delicate, circular movements that began at her breasts and finished at her inner thighs. She pointedly avoided her pussy for now and went to work on her breasts, circling her nipples in turn whilst massaging the other breasts.

The first time she did it Casey’s back arched and she exhaled loudly, and a quick check told her that she hadn’t done anything wrong. Her eyes were widening as she registered this new and delicious sensation and as Charlie kept working the other woman rose and fell beneath her as she pushed her breast harder against her mouth. Not long after though Charlie began to rub her pussy, working to build the passion.

Her breathing became shallower and more drawn out, every now and then she quivered or writhed under her touch. Charlie moved down to her pussy soon enough though and when she slid her tongue over her lips the other woman bucked and moaned. She glanced up at her face, Casey’s lips were parted and when Charlie flicked her tongue over the vulva she bit her bottom lip and let out a low animal moan.

Charlie did it again and again, Casey’s moans became deeper and more intense, she opened her legs wider for a digit that ended up right inside her as Charlie found her clitoral hood. A low keening sound erupted from her throat as she licked the delicate little organ and then the finger was sliding back out again in a come hither motion. This went on for a few more minutes before Charlie finally introduced her to the dildo.

Even so, she was hesitant about introducing this much thicker object into her and she wasn’t the only one because Casey did look nervous as the tip slipped into her opening. She reached down to grab it but the lightly lubricated object slipped through her fingers as Charlie spun it swiftly from side to side as if she was trying to drill into her. She went to work on her clitoris again, this time putting more pressure on the organ whilst she kept teasing her with the tip. When she judged the time was right, she shoved it all the way in. Casey yelled loudly and bucked violently as it went all the way in and then it was sliding back out again but Charlie tilted it slightly to stimulate the front of her passage.

Her keening became more intense as the ribs stimulated the mass of nerve endings and then the dildo was all the way out but Charlie was still lapping at her clitoris. The respite however was only a temporary one and the dildo went inside again, this time in a corkscrew motion, which caused her to arch back. Her keening became more intense and her breathing turned ragged as the dildo went higher and higher. Once again Charlie withdrew in the same fashion and this time Casey grabbed the dildo, which left Charlie free to stimulate her pussy and perineum.

Casey tested herself before penetrating herself and this time she seemed more natural, finding her own length and for the next few minutes she brought herself higher and higher until finally she let go with a loud groan.

Her hand fell away suddenly as she arched her back several times, the spasms moving through her body were a visible clue that she’d achieved an orgasm and then she fell back against the bed and let out a loud groan.

“Fuck me, that was intense.”

“I’ll say,” Charlie sat up on her legs, “I was going to use the smallest one.”

“You mean you’ve got more than one?” Casey stared at her.

“I’ve got a collection in the bottom of each set of drawers,” she replied.

“Now she tells me,” Casey stroked herself, “what about a strap on?”

“Three different sizes there,” she replied.

“Hmm mm,” she sat up.

“This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.”

When I first came to this fellowship, or rather when I got back after years of trying to find a way of drinking socially I felt like Ned Kelly standing on the gallows with a noose around his neck and his last words, ‘so it’s come to this.’ I really felt like my life was over. Here was me, the good looking chick going to an AA meeting filled with people old enough to be my parents. I soon learned though that there were people a little younger than that and a little later a lot younger, but while I did have a bit of a look at the steps hanging on the wall, I still felt weird about them. It’s like reading the terms and conditions whenever you sign up to something online, nobody reads them because your only concern is getting whatever you just signed up for.

I know now that I was wrong, the steps are there for a reason. It’s a program for daily living, it’s not like I can do the steps from one to twelve and then graduate with a diploma. There are no fucking diplomas in this fellowship, the world record for sobriety is twenty four hours no matter how long you’ve been sober. When I’d been here for a few months I heard a lot about three to five years for mental sobriety and then someone who’d been sober for five years said it was going to take five to seven for him, and I guess something died in me. It was like climbing to the top of a mountain and then discovering another mountain in front of you with more mountains behind it. I was going to be climbing mountains for the rest of my fucking life.

I guess that was why I went out and smoked a bit of shit, I was trying to fly high enough to get over the mountains but instead I came down with an almighty crash and nearly drank. I had the bottle in my hand but when push came to shove I knew that if I took a drink it wouldn’t just be one drink, I always picked up a drink with the intention of just having a couple of drinks. But I couldn’t count past two, every time someone asked how much have you been drinking I’d always say I’ve just had a couple and if I was legless I’d say I’m just a bit merry. If I couldn’t remember what I’d done the night before it must have been a good night, right? That excuse doesn’t work in the end because when you’ve just pissed in some woman’s bed she isn’t going to invite you back for an encore and so you put the blame on her because that’s what we do so well.

No one ever poured a drink down my throat, I’m the person who did it to myself. I’m the reason I drank, plain and simple. I can’t blame my Catholic upbringing, my loopy mum, the fact I didn’t have a dad, I can’t blame my bosses, my coworkers, girlfriends, ex girlfriends or anything else, it was just because I wanted to be like everyone else. That’s why I picked up my first drink, I saw a bunch of people sitting around looking so cool in their nice clothes, laughing and joking, and I just wanted to be like them but I’m not like them. I’m an alcoholic, alcohol affects me differently to the way it affects them, it takes my liver five times longer to process the same amount of alcohol, which is why I was still pissed the next morning.

Now that I’ve put the cork in the bottle and starting coming to meetings though doesn’t mean that everything is fantastic. Now I have to face up to the person I was trying to escape, myself and at first I hated the bitch. My mouth was too wide, my hair too thin, I wasn’t intelligent enough, I had no real talents apart from a talent for getting into trouble. I just wanted to go to sleep for three or five years and wake up as a different person.

It’s different now though and I’ve just passed twelve months without a drink, which is the longest time ever. I couldn’t go twelve hours without a drink and twelve days was a life sentence but after twelve months I feel like I’m standing at the base of this fucking mountain and thinking, okay so I have to climb to the top. I just don’t have to do it in a day, I can take twelve months to climb to the top or even longer.

These days I have a responsible job, it’s only three days a week but it’s a good job and the other two days I’m at another job. Lucky me, I have two jobs, a lot of people out there are begging for just one job. I also have someone in my life, it’s early days and I know I’m supposed to wait three years or was it two years? I forget but the important thing is that we’re not rushing anything, it’s early days for both of us. We might wake up tomorrow morning and decide that we don’t want to take this any further and right now we’re not even at the living together stage. That might never happen but right now we’re a thing, the old me would have wanted more but the new me just wants to take it one day at a time. We can be together for today and let tomorrow look after itself.

I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get mental sobriety, I’m always going to be a wee bit mental. As Natasha has told me recently, when my halo slips, grow horns but that’s enough from me, thanks for being here to make it a meeting for me.

“Why are you so quiet?” Charlie glanced over at Linda as the older woman turned into her street, “did I say something wrong?”

“Not at all,” she replied, “you said everything right. It’s not a destination it’s a journey, I said the same thing to my girlfriend when we got together. I didn’t know how long this was going to last and I still don’t. There are times I wake up and think maybe I won’t see her today and I don’t but by the end of the day I’m feeling lonely and so we text or call.”

“So, things are okay between you two?”

“They’re fine,” she replied, “providing I don’t project,” she pulled into Charlie’s driveway, “looks like you’ve got a visitor.”

“I gave Casey the back door key,” she replied.

“How’s it going between you two?”

“We talked,” she replied, “she still wants to go to church but she quit the mission because they are homophobic. I’m still going to meetings and I might even go to some of her church functions, just as long as I don’t have to take communion, I’d probably drain the cup.”

“You and me both,” Linda glanced at her watch, “okay, I gotta go.”

As she watched Linda drive away a minute or so later Charlie felt as if a weight had shifted from her shoulders.

I might not be what I ought to be but at least I’m not like I used to be.