Chapter 14

“Uh, love, there’s something we need to talk about,” Mika said. She seemed embarrassed, and didn’t continue for a long time. Lauren had taken several forkfuls of the fish she’d ordered before Mika seemed finally to psych herself up to continue. “I told you about Nicole’s job, and the startup going public?”

“You did. She had vested stock, and you said she did well from it.”

“That’s right, and she did,” Mika said. “Even after the IPO, she thought the technology had potential, so she held onto the shares. They dropped a little after the IPO, but she had faith. I wish she’d been able to see how right she was. During the pandemic, when virtually every other sector of the economy was in dire straits, biotech exploded, some companies more than others. Hers was one of the ones that shot through the roof. You don’t need to worry about me paying for a hotel or two.”

“Mika?” Lauren asked. “How much money are you talking about?”

“I haven’t really touched it, because it’s too much for me to think about,” said Mika, “and because it felt… it felt like I was taking advantage of Nicole’s passing. I wanted to keep working because I needed to stay busy. I could have used it to quit and focus on sculpting, but it was hard to feel that I had anything worthwhile to say while I was grieving. I feel like I’m finally ready to move beyond that, which is your doing.” She paused for a moment. “How much? Nicole left a fifth to her parents. I’m sure she didn’t think they’d inherit from their daughter; that isn’t how things work. It was probably a line item, ensure their names were on the form in case I passed before her. Or maybe she thought it would help with funeral expenses in the incredibly unlikely event she passed first. They bought a house.”

Lauren felt her eyes widen. “Holy fuck,” she breathed. “The house I saw?” The place on the island had to be worth a few million.

“I helped persuade them that Nicole would have wanted it,” she said, “because she would. She loved her parents. They know she would have wanted to be there for them if she could. Not using the money won’t bring her back.”

Lauren felt shaken. “I had no idea. I think I understand why they would have such a hard time putting the money to use. Or why you do.”

God, that would have been so hard for her. Not only did she have to deal with Nicole’s death, but she had to think about how her wife’s passing had made her wealthy. Her survival guilt would have increased by an order of magnitude. Lauren knew without needing to be told that she’d have given every penny to have had her back. No wonder she’d still been suffering so deeply five years later.

“I think I’ll be able to see it less negatively now,” Mika said. “You’ve made it possible to see a future, without losing my past. And maybe I will cut the business back and take some time for creation. I feel that I’d like to put some of it to work in Nicole’s memory, though. Maybe you can help me think of something.”

“I’ll try, of course,” said Lauren. “But, you know, I still want to pay for our next trip.”

After spending one more night at Mika’s, Lauren stopped staying over as a matter of course. Not that she didn’t prefer sharing Mika’s bed, but her girlfriend no longer needed her for support, and they both felt their relationship should progress naturally. The distance was deliberate. It was what Lauren had planned, and they talked about it. Lauren didn’t want Mika to feel that she’d pulled back because she didn’t want to be with her. But to this point they’d never really been in a position for a normal relationship, and she didn’t want Mika to feel like she’d been trapped into one with her. Nor, to be honest, did she want to feel that Mika’s need had shaped how she felt. She was fairly sure that wasn’t the case, but how would she feel five years from now if she didn’t allow space between them? Ten years from now?

It wasn’t a perfect plan. Mika worked weekends, and Lauren worked weekdays. They’d try to get together on Friday and Saturday nights for dinner, which would invariably lead to Lauren spending the night at Mika’s. On Saturday morning, Lauren would lie in bed with a cup of tea supplied by her girlfriend, only to watch her dress in a dark suit, grab her equipment and leave her alone in the house.

She was far from lonely on the nights she didn’t spend with Mika. She spent occasional evenings with co-workers, even Rachel, whose embarrassment had turned into an awkward friendship. Rachel was not out at work for family reasons, but she had a string of funny stories about past encounters and a recent affair with a married woman that she could share with the office’s only out lesbian. She was a natural comedian, and her one-liners had caused more than one beer snorting mishap.

“You should probably find a better outlet than a frustrated straight woman, you know,” Lauren said.

“She wasn’t frustrated when I left her,” Rachel said. “I guarantee that.”

“Bet she is now,” Lauren stated.

“Oh yeah, I bet she is,” Rachel agreed. “Problem is, so am I.”

Lauren was looking forward to the trip she and Mika had planned. She had a week’s time off booked for the last week of March. That should be perfect for cherry blossoms, and there happened to be a symphonic event on the Thursday. Of course, Mika had managed to acquire tickets. Lauren didn’t ask how, but this time she suspected she knew. Mika had contacts in the art world, and likely a willingness to pay for an overpriced resold pair of tickets.

They headed to the coast on Sunday evening, Lauren’s Lexus guaranteeing a comfortable drive. The weather was cool, but much milder than it had been five weeks earlier. Lauren had found them an inn which had king-size rooms with whirlpool baths. She’d booked it at a corporate rate, but it was still pricey. They would return on Friday, after the event, as Mika had a wedding on the Saturday.

Cherry trees were blooming all around the city, not just in the cemetery. Rick and Morgan met them on Monday, Sean bouncing along on a leash, recognizing and greeting Lauren and Mika. They paid their respects to Nicole, then told stories about her, still standing around her resting place. Though the storytelling couldn’t include Lauren, she found the tales interesting, and was gratified to see the affection the three shared. Mika’s belief – was that too strong a word? – in Nicole’s presence made the stories more meaningful, as they were sharing with her, too.

The trees in the cemetery were in full bloom, and the view in all directions was charming, made bittersweet by the presence of so many headstones.

Still with Nicole’s parents, they ate lunch, then toured the Japanese Gardens, which had a very impressive collection of cherry trees of different species, each grouping having a slightly different color. Though there were few falling blossoms, compared with what Lauren had seen in videos of streets in Japan or even DC, there were some. She didn’t comment on the one that had lodged in Mika’s hair, instead capturing the sight on her phone. Without flash.

Each evening ended with a relaxing soak, followed by sharing their warm, relaxed bodies in the large bed.

On Thursday they washed each other’s hair. Lauren suggested visiting a hairdresser, but Mika said she’d prefer to have Lauren take care of her. She’d brought the shampoo and conditioner she used on her fine black hair.

Under Mika’s direction, Lauren washed her hair. Then Mika twisted her hair into a towel before washing Lauren’s. Each combed and dried the other, Lauren finding that brushing out Mika’s hair was as sensual an experience as Mika brushing hers has been. Somehow each stroke felt that she was showing her affection for the woman who sat with her back to her, her features relaxed.

With hours to kill before the concert, they donned their “matching” tee shirts, small tits and boobies, and spent their final afternoon in the city, holding hands as they walked the pier.

They returned to the room with time for Mika to work on their hair. She twisted Lauren’s hair into a slightly different knot than she’d shown her before, producing two pins with a green flower design and short strings of green beads.

“I bought these in Mito for you,” she said, after Lauren had admired her work. “I’ve been hoping to have a chance to use them.”

“They’re beautiful, Mika,” Lauren said, “but I hope it’s the last gift you brought me. I still gave you nothing for Christmas.”

“There is no more,” Mika said, “but you’ve given me much more than a hairpin. You’ve given me a new future.” She grinned. “And don’t forget your strip tease before the camera,” she said, straightening her hair with a brush.

She twisted her own hair into a knot, using a much plainer pin. “I am going to have my hair dyed,” she announced, “when we get home. One of my clients has a really interesting style. I need to find who her hairdresser is.”

The event was audiovisual and casual, so Lauren had brought a black off the shoulder minidress, while Mika’s green dress was a little longer. Mika wore longer heels, bringing her close to Lauren’s height in her low pumps, and kept her hand tucked into Lauren’s arm as they moved through the crowd.

Back in the inn, Lauren ordered a bottle of white wine from room service, an extravagance she’d never allowed herself before. But then, she’d never spent the night in a hotel room with a woman before Mika. She started the tub filling, then took her girlfriend into her arms and kissed her until the wine arrived.

Knowing that their time in the whirlpool bath was going to be prodigious, Lauren had brought a bottle of the bath oil that Mika used. There was enough left for this one last bath. She prepared the tub while Mika poured the wine. Then they began to undress each other slowly, breaking when Lauren kissed Mika’s newly-revealed nipples, and when Mika sucked Lauren’s tongue, her hands curled around Lauren’s breasts.

Mika feigned disappointment at the lack of a garter belt and stockings.

“Maybe you should get your own,” Lauren suggested. “You could wear them under your suit when you shoot a wedding.”

“Would you ever let me leave home in the morning if I did?” Mika asked.

“Oh yeah,” Lauren responded. “Then I’d lie around all day imagining taking your clothes back off in the evening.”

“Hmm. There might be some merit to that plan.”

In the bath, Lauren tugged at Mika’s hand until she moved to her, then turned her around and settled her in her lap. Their wine glasses and bottle rested beside them.

“I have an idea for you,” said Lauren. “You can feel free to ignore it, but I think you might like it.”

“What’s that, love?” asked Mika.

“You want to use your resources to honor Nicole’s memory, you said.”

“Mm, yes,” Mika replied, noncommittally.

“What about endowing a scholarship in her field?” Lauren said. “I did a little research before our trip. You give money to the university to invest, and they use the returns to fund a scholarship in her name. You specify the stipulations. Right now might be a perfect time for a scholarship to help gay or trans kids get ahead. Stipulate that it’s for queer students in biotech, say, or biochem. You could endow more than one, for a different minority, or any minority. Help someone follow in Nicole’s footsteps.”

“I… think I like that idea,” said Mika. “Let’s talk about it when we get home. I’d like to see what you learned in your research.”

“Alright, honey,” said Lauren. She lowered her lips to Mika’s neck, finding her pulse point and suckling. Mika shivered against her breasts.

“Am I going to need to wear a scarf again on Saturday?” Mika asked.

“Probably,” Lauren admitted.

“Hmm, alright.” Mika leaned further back, giving her easier access to her chin and throat. “I love the way your boobs are cushioning me here, but I wish I could touch them.”

“I’m sure we’ll have time for that,” Lauren said, then drew her teeth over her girlfriend’s neck. As she shivered, Lauren ran a hand down her side, then across her thigh to caress the soft fuzz of her pussy. Mika gasped softly in her lap.

Lauren’s fingers explored slowly, before coming to rest on either side of her clit. She began to push them into her in a rhythm that Mika’s hips soon picked up. She pushed back, until she was rocking against Lauren’s hand.

Kissing her neck again, Lauren brought her other hand up to cup Mika’s breast, toying with her nipple as she moved. Mika’s soft moans excited her. She began to rock her own hips, pushing her lover harder against her hand. Mika’s breathing deepened, soft groans accompanying each exhalation.

Mika’s hand reached up and behind her to grab Lauren’s hair, tugging her away from her neck, as she turned her head. She pressed her mouth to Lauren’s, the kiss instantly becoming fiery. When she came she gasped into Lauren’s mouth, the bathwater rippling as her body shook.

Much later, in bed, Mika nestled against Lauren’s back. One hand was wrapped around Lauren, idly caressing her breast. Lauren was weary, but satisfied.

“Hey, Lauren?” Mika’s voice was gentle, close to her ear.

“Yes, honey?” Lauren brought up a finger to stroke against the hand exploring her breast.

“I meant what I said about wanting to grow old with you,” she said.

“I know, Mika,” Lauren said. “I want the same.”

“Then move in with me. I miss you when you’re not home.”

Home. The house she lived in had never felt like home. Not when her ex lived there, and not since. Certainly not since she’d been dating Mika. Mika felt like home. But…

“Moving in with my ex left me a little U-Haul-avoidant,” she said. “Are you sure we’re ready?”

“I’m ready to make a lot of changes,” Mika said. “I’m going to reopen my workshop. I’m going to cut down on the business. We both know we want to build a life together. I think we’re ready to do that. You couldn’t live with your ex because of what you discovered about her…”

“Yeah, she was a slob,” Lauren interjected.

“You know I’m not a slob,” Mika said. “I don’t think there’s much about me that you don’t know, and you know I’ll tell you anything else. Is there really a risk to avoid?”