Chapter 6

The word shocked Lauren. She’d never heard her use even mild profanity. She must really have meant the words.

Lauren pressed her face forward again, but Mika held her back. “Lauren…” she groaned. “Don’t… don’t be gentle.”

Before Lauren could express surprise, her face was yanked back against Mika’s again. Hands moved back inside the cami, gripping her waist as Mika ground herself against her hip.

When Mika’s tongue penetrated her lips, she bit it, making her partner shiver. Then she moved her hands to Mika’s skirt, tugging it and then her own higher, so that only thin panties stood between her upper thigh and Mika’s sex. Grabbing her ass again, she jerked Mika’s body against her in powerful strokes.

Mika’s moans grew louder. After another minute, she broke the kiss, moving her face to Lauren’s ear, panting as she bit her earlobe.

There was a thunk from the next room.

Both women jumped, drawing away from each other. As the noise of running water followed it, they realized the washer had started, and both laughed. Lauren unfastened her partner’s delicate top, then lifted it, Mika releasing her waist to lift her arms.

The top may have been delicate, but that didn’t stop Lauren from tossing it aside while she lifted Mika’s bralette. Her partner raised her arms again. This time, Lauren wrapped the fabric around Mika’s wrists, binding them together, pinning her arms above her with one hand. Her exposed breasts were breathtaking, small, but perfectly shaped, her narrow nipples rock hard and quivering as she writhed.

Lowering her face to them, Lauren suckled, biting each nipple until Mika groaned and twisted in her hold.

The wall began to vibrate as the washer motors kicked in. Lauren dipped her free hand under Mika’s skirt and into her panties, which were soaked with her arousal. Finding her clit, she began to stroke.

“Nnnnghhh…” Mika grunted, her body squirming in place.

“Do you like that?” Lauren whispered.

“More…” she groaned.

“There’ll be more,” Lauren agreed, then lowered her face to nip at her left breast, her teeth scratching the nipple.

“Hhhnnnnngh!” Mika rasped.

Lauren pressed a second finger into her panties, then moved her hand lower, pushing both fingers inside her, caressing the wall of her sex by curling and straightening them. Mika gasped as she curled them forward and began to rock her hand.

Mika’s eyes were blown and unfocused when Lauren moved her face back to hers and began to kiss her savagely. She seemed surprised at the contact of Lauren’s mouth, but she groaned and rubbed her tongue against Lauren’s. Still locked in the kiss, Lauren pressed her thigh between Mika’s legs, lifting it against the back of her own hand in a strong rhythm.

“Ah! Ah! Ah!” cried Mika, breaking the kiss. Lauren lifted her slightly, bearing her weight on the hand buried in her sex, thrusting her body against the hand as her partner’s moans grew in volume.

Writhing against both of Lauren’s hands, Mika’s bound arms twisted and her thighs tensed as Lauren slammed her into the wall.

Mika’s body began to stiffen. Her moans became strangled grunts, then stopped altogether. Her sex clenched around Lauren’s fingers. Then she shook, gasping for air. Her breasts quivered as her body convulsed against Lauren’s hand, a ferocious pulsing around her fingers confirming what the quaking of her body was telling her.

As Mika’s gasps turned to sobs, Lauren slowly released the pressure of her hand and thigh from her sex. The sighs became sobs. Then Lauren realized the sobs were real. Tears were coursing down the lovely narrow face.

Contrition smacked against Lauren’s pleasure at bringing her partner to climax. “Oh, Christ, Mika,” she said, dropping her arms so that she could free herself from the bra. She hugged her. “Oh, God, I’m sorry.”

Mika’s head turned from side to side against Lauren’s neck. She had dropped the bra behind Lauren to wrap her arms around her back, and Lauren’s shoulder was wet with her tears. She hugged Lauren’s body tightly to hers, then said, “No.” She continued to weep, but her tears were slowly coming under her control.

“You did… nothing wrong,” Mika finally managed to say. “It was what I wanted. But it’s… hard.” She detached herself from Lauren, her head bowed, her arms crossed over her breasts. “I’m sorry,” she said, then she began to cry again. “I’m sorry.”

Not sure what to do, Lauren collected her blue top, shaking it out gently. She held it out to Mika, who took it without looking up or uncrossing her arms, letting it hang from her fingers.

“I think… I think I need to be alone,” Mika said. “I’ll get your shirt to you.” She choked up before continuing, “Should I find a cardigan to cover that?” She lifted her eyes just far enough to indicate the cami, then looked back down.

Lauren reached behind her, lifting the cami far enough to refasten her bra. “It’ll be fine with my coat, Mika,” she said. “Is there anything… I can…” Her voice trailed off.

Mika shook her head again. “No,” she said, “I’ll be okay.” Her voice was soft, still rough with tears, but Lauren felt that she meant it. “Lauren…”

When she said nothing else for several seconds, Lauren said, “What, honey?”

“Just… don’t give up on me. Please?”

“I won’t, Mika,” she said.

Completely sober after the time, exercise and events, Lauren put on her coat and shoes and left quietly.

Lauren didn’t hear from Mika for almost a week. She was beginning to wonder if she should break the silence, but she really didn’t want to risk it. Finally, her phone pinged early one morning.

Mika: “I thought I was ready.”
Lauren: “I know, honey. I’m sorry.”

There was no reply, and Lauren regretted using the term of endearment. But it had been a very casual one, and she felt it showed that she cared.

At around the same time on the next day, the phone pinged again. This time, Mika had sent her a YouTube link. She clicked through to find the Dido song “White Flag,” the official video with David Boreanaz as the ex. After watching it through, she replied.

Lauren: “I love that song.”
Mika: “Yes.”

Then, in the absence of other communication, Lauren reconsidered the video link. Overanalyzed, maybe? “I’m in love, and always will be.” Well, yes. She knew that. Was it a caution? Telling Lauren that she was wasting her time? Surely there would be more tactful ways to do that. Or perhaps it was the message of the song that she’d live her life in spite of a love she couldn’t fulfill?

It had been one of the songs on the CD that Mika had played during their impromptu makeout session, which Mika had initiated. Was she reminding her of that? Telling her that Mika was thinking about what had happened?

Or was it just a song that Mika liked, that was meaningful to her? She wouldn’t know if she didn’t ask, but asking seemed risky.

Maybe the best response was to post a favorite song of her own, and if it could be one with a complex interpretation all the better. It took her an hour or more to choose something suitable. She was at her office when the idea of using a VNV Nation song occurred to her, and within a few minutes she sent a link to Teleconnect 2. Whatever the story behind the lyrics, they and the music told of challenge, overcoming adversity, and hope.

Then, of course, she started second guessing her choice. Perhaps Mika would see the last verse as memories of her lost love. But the deed was done.

It was mid-afternoon before Lauren’s phone sounded again.

Mika: “You sent me rave music?”
Lauren: “You go to quality raves.”
Mika: “Not in well over a decade. I’m not keen on not being in control. This song grew on me. How are you doing?”
Lauren: “Stressed from work.”
Mika: “I made myself a shepherd’s pie yesterday and I will have leftovers for days. Would you like to help me with it?”
Lauren: “Maybe, but I need to work late. Is the shepherd still fresh?”
Mika: “I used frozen shepherd, is that okay?”
Lauren: “It will do, I guess. I’ll change first, You don’t want me in my business suit.”
Mika: “Maybe I do, at that. Would you like to collect a change of clothes and soak in my whirlpool tub?”
Lauren: “OMG YES.”
Lauren: “I mean, oh, that does sound delightful.”

Of course as soon as the text exchange was done, Lauren started to second guess herself again. The “OMG” was supposed to be ironically enthusiastic; she didn’t worry about Mika misreading it. But had she leaped too quickly at Mika’s invitation? She didn’t want her to feel trapped by Lauren’s eagerness to spend more time with her. But she couldn’t take back her choice now.

Dusk arrived early in mid-november. It was completely dark when Lauren parked at the yellow house.

Mika seemed relaxed, which was a relief. She sensed that her friend was embarrassed, though she hid it well, especially when Lauren took off her coat, and she gave Lauren a thorough once over, from her tight bun to her black heels. She was wearing a knee length dark charcoal pencil skirt, with a matching jacket, buttoned, and plain black blouse.

“Your office is very formal?” Mika asked.

“Yeah, especially when I’m meeting a client. Even the men don’t dress down much.”

“Lucky client,” Mika said. “You look fab. But I suppose the goal is to get you out of those, today. Let me show you where everything is.”

When Mika left her alone in the bathroom with the water running, she stripped, folding her suit into the garment bag she’d brought for the purpose, then hanging the bag outside the room to avoid humidity.

Then she soaked in the most relaxing bath she’d taken in years. She only had a poky little tub at her house, so she only ever took showers. But this – she could soak in it for days. Literally, probably. Especially since the tub kept the water warm.

Mika knocked on the door at one point.

“You can come in, if you like,” Lauren called out to her. “There are plenty of bubbles.”

Mika declined that option, asking only when she thought she’d be ready for dinner.

“Tomorrow, maybe?” Lauren offered. Mika laughed. “Thirty minutes,” Lauren said. “I think I can drag myself out in thirty. Or maybe forty.”

That gave her time to soak just a little longer, and still have time to dry off and change into the short tank top and long lounge pants she’d brought. Her copper hair was damp, cascading over her shoulders, and her fingers were still wrinkled when she sought out Mika.

“Well, that is a different look,” her friend said.

“Is it too casual?” Lauren asked. Even in her house, Mika was always well put together.

“No, you’re quite dishy,” Mika said. “I firmly approve.”

The shepherd’s pie was good. Lauren didn’t often eat lamb, and the restaurant versions of shepherd’s pie she’d tried from time to time were beef and bland. This was full and rich. There was wine, too, a heavy, dry red that complemented the flavor of the lamb.

“At the risk of undoing the relaxation of your bubble bath,” Mika said, “why are you so stressed today?”

Lauren sighed. “Work stuff. I’ve told you I can bore a date to sleep.”

“Tell me anyway,” Mika urged. “I have no answers, but it might help to talk.”

“If you’re sure?” Lauren asked. “I’m being pressured to sign off on a large loan. The largest of my career so far. Even if everything was perfect, I’d be nervous. But I’m not convinced it is. I have two separate audits of the company, and all of the books between the two, and some of the numbers don’t add up. Literally. It’s a very small difference, but it should be perfect. So my managers and the client’s attorneys are pushing me, but I don’t think I’ve done my due diligence. I think I need at least a week longer.”

“Will you be fired if you decline?” Mika asked.

“No, but I will have to document the reason. If I accept, I only have to point to the most recent audit for backup. But if I accept and the client defaults, it will be a huge black mark on my record.”

“I see,” Mika said. “So for your career it’s worth being certain of your decision.”

“Yes, but the company employs hundreds, and without a loan to get them through the next few months, they will probably be laying off most of them. So my career isn’t the only one on the line.”

“Still, keeping them afloat doesn’t help much if they go pear-shaped in the next year, does it? In addition to your bank having to eat the costs of defaulting.”

“Go… pear-shaped?” Lauren frowned.

“Nine years, and I still keep learning that I don’t know what I thought I did,” Mika said. “It means to go wrong, probably catastrophically. Now you know a new thing, too. It doesn’t help, of course.”

“I don’t know, I might use it to distract the next guy who tries to hurry me along.”

“And it does help me,” Mika said. “Because you’re wrong. You didn’t put me to sleep at all.”

“Don’t challenge me,” Lauren retorted. “I have far less interesting stories I can tell.”

Mika laughed. After a moment’s silence, she spoke again. “Would you like to come to my relaxation room with me?” Mika asked. “I’d like to talk.”

“No phones, right?” asked Lauren. She placed her phone face down, to activate the do not disturb feature, then followed Mika. She spent a moment looking at the painting on the wall before sitting on the low cushion across from her friend.

“Thank you for being so understanding,” Mika said. “I…” Her face was coloring. “I enjoyed what we did. Very much. I’d like to get back to that place again. I think it will take some time. I wasn’t expecting to have such strong feelings.”

“I can’t regret causing strong feelings,” said Lauren. “To be fair, I was having very strong feelings, too. I do regret that I caused you so much distress.”

“I asked,” Mika replied. “I’d had a very good evening. I think it made me a little… high? I’m not bipolar, but I feel like I was a little manic.” She glanced up at Lauren, then looked away again. “I asked you not to be gentle. That’s… not me.”

Now that it was almost dry, Lauren’s hair was drifting into her face. She brushed it back. “You seemed a little wild. I should have backed off when I sensed that.”

Shaking her head, Mika said, “Please try to stop feeling guilty. I told you it was okay. It was much better than okay. I am just sorry for driving you away. Maybe I can return the favor… soon? I just don’t know how soon.”