Chapter 5

“Sure! I’m pretty hungry.”

“Have fun, ladies. Monica, it was nice chatting. Rachel, my dear, will you be home later?”

“Maybe. It might be late though.”

“Ok. Love you and have fun.”

“Love you! Bye, mom!”

It was next Saturday and I had promised Monica I’d meet her at the lgbtq gathering on campus. Guess what I was going to have to do? Yep, lie to my husband again.

“I’m going to head out for a while this afternoon. I’ve got a few things to do and I might meet up with a few of the girls for a bite to eat. Is that cool?”

“Yeah, totally. I can entertain myself. Go have fun. Nate’s dad has been wanting to go knock some balls around on the golf course, so I’ll hit him up.”

I had no idea what to wear to this gathering. I assumed it wasn’t a formal event, so I chose some of my favorite leggings, a warm, cozy hoodie and put on a little make up. I sprayed on a little bit of my favorite perfume and slipped on some comfy shoes.

Traffic downtown was always crazy on the weekend and today was no exception. When I finally arrived at the university, I was surprised to see the amount of people gathered outside. The parking lot for the conference center was packed too. There were a couple school busses parked nearby and the group outside were carrying signs, but I didn’t have a chance to stop and read them. This was quite a bit larger turn out than I had expected. It made me happy to see so many people showing support.

Luckily I was familiar with the area and I knew of a parking lot close by. I messaged Monica before I got out of my car and made my way towards the conference center. I entered through the entrance on the far side of the building and quickly spotted Monica. She was chatting with a woman that I estimated was in her late twenties or early thirties. When she saw me her face lit up and she waved me over.

Neither one of us wanted to display too much affection out in public, but at the same time we had both become comfortable with kissing one another, so no doubt we both looked awkward when we greeted one another.

“Steph, this is Kelsey. She’s a professor here and is one of the founding members of the group.”

“Steph, nice to meet you. Monica told me a little about your relationship. It’s great that you’re here for her.”

I reached my hand out to shake hers, but she pulled me into a hug instead. Our relationship? I was going to have to find out just what was mentioned about us.

“I wouldn’t have missed it. I know it’s important to Monica that I’m here so…here I am!”

“Thank you so much, Steph.” Monica beamed.

“As I said earlier, we are all here for you anytime. It’s always my pleasure meeting new people and welcoming them into our growing group. You are the whole reason we have these gatherings. Please help yourselves to some snacks and refreshments. A few of us will be speaking shortly, but in the meantime, just have fun and mingle. You’re safe here. Oh, and don’t mind the protesters.”

I looked at her quizzically. Kelsey motioned towards the outside.

“Can you believe those people? So much hate in their hearts for people that they’ve never met and have done them no wrong?” She explained

“Who are they anyway?” I asked.

“Members of a local church. Kelsey said they almost always make an appearance to protest and spew hate anytime there is a gathering of people they don’t agree with or are scared of. ” Monica answered.

“I saw the signs as I drove by but I couldn’t read what they said. I can see now just how pathetic they are. What are they yelling?”

We walked over to the wall of windows that faced the small outdoor patio. The protesters filled the sidewalk around the patio. The only thing seemingly keeping them at bay was the tall, decorative metal fence that surrounded the patio.

As we stood looking out the window, a few members of our group we’re returning after being outside to smoke. The protesters chants of “Die sinners! Burn in hell! and other unoriginal phrases, were being repeated in unison by the group.

The men who had just been outside having a cigarette, paused in front of the door and gave each other the most over the top kiss I had ever seen. It was full of tongue and saliva and groping hands. The members of our group erupted in applause at the display, while even more vulgar obscenities were hurled at them from outside.

After the excitement of that little scene died down, Monica and I each grabbed a plate of various snacks some of the attendees had provided. While we were alone, I took the opportunity to ask Monica exactly what Kelsey meant when she referred to our relationship.

“Hey, how did you explain our relationship to Kelsey?”

“Oh, was it the ‘relationship’ thing that threw you? I thought so, as it caught me off guard too. I told her you were a dear friend and an ally. I explained that I wasn’t out to my family or friends yet, except for you, and that you were here to support me.”

“Please don’t think I didn’t trust you, it’s just that…yes, the relationship comment stuck out.”

“It’s ok. I get it. Your secret is safe with me.” She said with a wink.

While we ate our snacks, we both silently observed the gathering of people, the people inside I should say, and it warmed my heart to see how happy everyone seemed to be. People were laughing, smiling, and holding hands while others expressed their affection a little more physically than others. No one was inappropriate or anything, but there were definitely some people who were less shy than others.

Then there was Monica and I. Two women sharing a secret love affair. I wondered if anyone else here was in the same situation? Another unfaithful wife, perhaps an unfaithful husband and his secret boyfriend? That led me to the crazy thought of Paul and I switching places and him as the one sneaking around with another man. Would I be upset? I don’t think I would be, but maybe I was still trying to justify what I was doing.

What was I doing? I mean… what was I really doing? What did the future hold for me, Monica, my marriage? As much as I’d love for this to never end, surely I wasn’t foolish enough to think it wouldn’t? Would her and I be in a group like this one day, together as a couple? Was I robbing her of her opportunity to find a partner that she could have a future with? I guess we were going to have to have a serious conversation. I was also going to have to seriously consider what I was going to do, especially if this all came crashing down around me.

As we stood there silently watching, two lovely women approached and introduced themselves. Their names were Tabitha and Beth. They were both freshman at the university but had been high school sweethearts. They inquired about Monica and I, and they seemed to be dancing around the age difference, but Monica was quick to inform them that we were just friends. We chatted with them for a while. They explained how they had met and offered advice to Monica. They were very touchy with one another and seemed very much in love. They introduced us to a few other people and by the time we were done we had explained that we were just friends at least half a dozen times.

There was finally a moment where the two of us were alone again and Monica leaned over to me and said, “If these people only knew what we really had going on!”

I laughed at her and replied, “Right?! Speaking of which, I can’t wait until we can get it ‘going on’ again.”

“Oh, Steph! You’re so naughty.”

We both laughed then Monica excused herself to the restroom. I wandered over to look out the window at the group of protesters that were still going full force. I just couldn’t get over by how upset they were about something that didn’t concern them in the slightest. Besides, how would they feel if one of their children were in here? Had they even stopped to consider that? As I stood there pondering, I felt the familiar touch of a certain someone’s hand on the small of my back. I leaned my head over and rested it on her shoulder. I could see her smile reflected in the window, which made me smile as well.

“Thanks for being here with me. It means a lot to me. I like this group and I think they’ll be helpful once I tell my parents.”

“Thank you for inviting me along. You know I’ve always got your back. And you’re right, everyone is so friendly and they all seem very supportive.”

It was then that Kelsey announced that she and few others were going to speak for a few minutes. It was actually more like 30 minutes, but there was some very beneficial information provided for the new attendees, as well as some very emotional stories told.

Once the final speaker was finished, the crowd cheered and pretty much all the couples in attendance kissed their partners. Monica and I got caught up in the moment and we shared a kiss that two people who were ‘just friends’ would most likely never share. I quickly realized our mistake and a sense of dread washed over me. I kept saying we needed to be careful, but it seemed like I was always daring to be found out. I glanced around and caught Kelsey watching us with a knowing grin. Shit. So much for being careful. If we would have been anywhere else, we might not have been so lucky. I didn’t say anything to Monica.

Monica told me that she was almost ready to go and asked if I’d wait for her. She wanted to say goodbye to a few new acquaintances, and I let her know that of course I would wait for her. Once Monica stepped away, Kelsey appeared next to me.

“Having a good time today, are you?”

“Uhm…hey, yeah. That was a great speech. You have a really wonderful organization here.”

“Thank you. Did any of the words resonate with you?”

“Uhm…look, it’s not like…”

“I know what I was told and I saw the ring on your finger, Steph. I know it’s none of my business, and I’m not judging, but… I saw the way you two look at each other, or should I say, how you try not to look at each other. I saw the kiss too.”

“Kelsey…please. I begging you to not…”

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m not going to say anything to anyone. That’s not my style, and it’s your business. I just wanted to say that you know where to find me and I’m always willing to lend an ear.”

My heart was pounding in my chest. How could I have been so stupid.

“I assume he doesn’t know?” She asked, motioning to my hand.

“No. Uhm…” I wasn’t sure what I could say to make the situation better. Luckily, Kelsey must have sensed my fear and assured me everything was ok.

“Remember, I said this was a safe space. No judgement here.”

“I’ve seen situations like this before. I have to warn you though, it almost always ends in heartbreak. If you have questions or need someone to talk to, please, don’t hesitate to reach out.”

Kelsey handed me her card and I slipped it into my pocket.

“Thank you…again.” I didn’t know what else to say.

Luckily, Monica was back and thanked Kelsey for a wonderful time. We said our goodbyes and I offered to walk Monica to her car.

Monica had found a different spot that was closer, but also avoided the main lot and all of the protesters. We exited through the rear doors and walked hand in hand to her little red Camry. Once we arrived to her car, Monica opened the door then turned around to face me.

“Thanks again, Steph.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“Is everything ok? You seem to have something on your mind?”

“It’s…it’s nothing. I was just thinking about, you know, us and…the future and, uhm…”

Monica gently placed her hand against my cheek.

“Maybe we should go somewhere and talk? Would that help?”

“I don’t know. I just have some things to think about is all. I’ll be ok.”

“Ok… I might know something that always makes me feel better?”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Monica leaned in a kissed me and soon our tongues found their way into each other’s mouth. After the adrenaline rush of getting caught by Kelsey and all of the questions in my head, the feeling of my lover close to me had eased my nerves. Monica slipped her arms around me and pulled me closer to her. I was getting turned on the longer we kissed, and I couldn’t resist bringing a hand to her breast and gently squeezing it. We were both staring to breathe heavy as my hands moved to her hips and around to grip her ass. My mouth was on her neck when I felt her body tense up.

“Burn in hell you disgusting dykes!”

“Yeah! Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn!”

“God hates you! God hates your kind!”

I froze and saw the look of horror on Monica’s face. I went to turn my head to see how many there were but Monica stopped me.

“No. Do not turn your head. Do NOT show them your face.”