Chapter 7

“Tonight? I suppose. Will you go out and get the ingredients?”

Mike put the paper down, “Sasha, you hate cooking. Shouldn’t you start with something simple? Like you know, cheese and crackers?”

“I don’t hate cooking. And I’ve watched mom tons. Ma, if you write down the ingredients, I’ll go after my shower.”

“Ok, honey. Do you want any breakfast before you go?”

Sasha nodded and headed upstairs, “Sure. Thanks mom.”

Mike looked at his wife, “Should I buy some extra fire insurance?”

“Hey, my daughter wanting to learn a family recipe from me? I’ll take it.”

“Yeah, where did that come from?”

Maria thought about it for a moment, and she started grinning, “Sienna’s coming over for dinner tonight. That’s got to be it.”

Mike raised his eyebrows, “They are a thing? The movie wasn’t a movie? Do I even want to know?”

“Dad, there’s nothing to know,” Erik had walked in and pulled up a chair at the table, “Sienna told Sasha last night that Sasha was horrible in the kitchen or something like that. Sasha spent the whole run plotting to prove her wrong.”

“It’s like they are still 8 years old,” Mike shook his head and went back to the paper.

Sasha finished up her shower and trotted downstairs. Her mother had set aside some toast and coffee. Sasha looked over the shopping list as she munched on her breakfast.

Her mother pointed at the list, “Go get the other stuff first. Then go to Giacetti’s for the pasta, they don’t open until 11 today.”

Sasha nodded and gulped down the coffee, “Okay. I’ll probably grab lunch with a couple friends, go to Giacetti’s, then come home. See you later.”

Maria nodded as her daughter kissed her goodbye.

The moment he heard Sasha’s truck start up, Mike piped up from the living room, “George said they were just hanging out last night.”

“You called George? What else did he say?” Maria quickly made her way into the living room.

“Oh my god, you guys are terrible.” Erik shook his head, “Leave them alone.”

Mike’s ears went slightly pink, “He said he was going to call me if I hadn’t called first. So it’s not just me. This is the first time they’ve spent time together in a while. It’s notable.”

Erik pretended to bang his head against the wall, “I feel like I’m in some weird reality show-Gossip Girl mash up. Except it’s got my parents in it. Guys, Sienna is straight.”

Maria frowned, “Erik, I have it on good authority that it’s not true.”

“Mom, have you considered the fact that your ‘good authority’ might just be engaged in wishful thinking?”

“It is not!” Maria said somewhat unconvincingly, and then, almost as an afterthought, “Erik, go clean up the kitchen.”

Mike laughed, “Don’t bother — our worldly possessions will probably go up in flames tonight. Sasha in the kitchen… what a concept!”

To Mike’s great surprise though, Sasha proved to be a diligent and quick study. The afternoon was basically a flurry of activity as mother and daughter moved through the steps of getting dinner ready. It brought Maria no small amount of joy to share the delight of preparing a full on Italian feast with her daughter. Erik, the long-time cooking enthusiast, was banned from the kitchen. The only point of contention came when Sasha swore everyone to secrecy, something her family found very hard to do as dinner progressed.

“This was unexpectedly good!” Mike said as he looked at Sasha at the end of the meal. It earned him an icy silence and pointed glare.

“Oh I had no doubt at all!” Sienna began, “Maria, thanks for dinner. It was delicious, as usual — I always love your lasagna.”

Sasha tipped her hat up and leaned back in her chair, “Did you now? How much did you love it?”

“Don’t be a jerk, Sasha, I mean it. Maria, you’ve got mad skills. Too bad it didn’t rub off on your daughter!”

Maria shook her head thoughtfully, “Sasha has potential…”

Sienna laughed as she got up, “I’ll believe it when I see it… I’ll go help Erik with the dishes.”

Sienna grabbed the rest of the dishes from the table and brought them into the kitchen, still chuckling to herself.

“What was so funny?” Erik’s face was stony with concentration as he tried to cram the entire meal’s worth of dishes into the dishwasher.

“Sasha. Cooking. Your mom just said she had potential,” Sienna dumped a handful of silverware into the dishwasher basket, “That’s like saying people can live on Mars… theoretically possible, but zero practical chance of happening in reality.”

Erik shrugged, “Normally I’d side with you, but I say the jury is out on that one.”

“Traitor,” Sienna gave him a friendly swipe across the shoulder.

“I call ’em like I see ’em,” Erik started rearranging the plates, “Sasha is more a ‘won’t cook’ rather than a ‘can’t cook.'”

“A distinction without a difference,” Sienna picked up a stalk of celery and started munching on it.

“What are you talking about?” Sasha sauntered in, picked up her own stalk of celery and bit into it.

“Whether or not wearing a chef’s hat is in your future.” Sienna mumbled, trying to talk and eat at the same time.

Sasha snapped her fingers, “Hat! I almost forgot — I’ll go get that one you wanted for tomorrow night.”

“You’re definitely going to the party?” Erik asked, his face breaking into a big smile.

Sienna shrugged, “Not sure yet.”

“We need more girls — Jon said we are on our way to looking like a poorly attended pirate’s convention.”

Sienna crossed her arms, “Geez, Erik, when you put it that way, it sounds so irresistible!”

Sasha sighed, “Do you want the hat or not?”

“Will you go as my date?” Erik asked. Sasha stared at her brother as a sharp flash of envy hit her right in the stomach.

Sienna smiled playfully, “Will you protect me from all the crazy six-fingered men who show up?”

Sasha held her breath.

“But of course, m’lady!” Erik bowed gallantly.

“Then I accept,” Sienna curtsied.

Sasha turned and stomped upstairs. Any desire she had for attending the party now flipped to outright aversion. It was not lost on Sienna that Sasha had left the room in a huff. She looked at Erik, who threw his hands up with bewilderment.

“What was that obnoxious display of passive-aggressiveness about?” Sienna asked as she walked into Sasha’s room.

Sasha nonchalantly lobbed a tan baseball hat towards Sienna. Sienna caught it, took one look and said, “Are you out of your effing mind?”

Sasha looked at her with as much innocence as she could muster, “What?”

Sienna turned the front of the hat towards Sasha, “You want me to wear this Yankees hat to The Pool Hall tomorrow night?! Are you trying to get me killed?”

“I don’t think I like what you are implying about Red Sox fans, Sienna. And don’t you have Prince Erik downstairs to defend your honor?”

“Oh, is that what the hissy fit was about?” Sienna leaned against the door frame, “Now who’s obsessing about someone else’s potential dates?”

“I thought you had better taste in men, Sienna.”

“And I always thought you had better taste in women, Sasha,” Sienna reflexively tossed back.

When Sasha failed to respond, Sienna knew she’d hit a little too hard below the belt. Pivoting back to the issue at hand, she threw the Yankees hat at Sasha, “It’s a stupid Princess Bride costume party in the middle of suburban Boston! It’s your brother! It’s just harmless fun! There’s nothing better to do tomorrow night so why the hell not?”

“I can think of something better to do,” Sasha countered.

“Next time tell me about it before someone else asks me to be their date for a costume party at the local dive! Now please lend me a hat that won’t get me killed.”

Sasha thrust a beige Carhatt hat into Sienna’s hands.

“Thank you,” Sienna said. She adjusted the hat and put it on.

“Do you need a ride over there tomorrow night?”

“I’m taking mom’s car, but thanks for offering.”

“Sorry about the Yankees hat, it was infantile.”

“Not one of your shining moments, Wolverine, but you are forgiven. Thanks for having me over tonight.” Sienna smiled and turned to leave. Sasha sat thinking for a moment, before suddenly jumping up.

“Hey Sienna!” Sasha ran out and leaned over the stairwell. Sienna looked up, “What?”

“I’m really glad you liked the food tonight,” Sasha grinned.

Sienna frowned in confusion, “You are a weirdo, you know that?”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Jerk.” Sienna stuck her tongue out at Sasha before quickly bounding down the rest of the stairs.

Sasha walked back into her bedroom, spun on her heels and fell backwards onto her bed. She loved my food!

Chapter 7: The Costume Party (Junior Year, 23rd Dec – Monday)

Sienna was trying to get the bartender’s attention when she sensed someone approach. She turned and sighed. Oh god. Not this again.

“Hey!!!! Are you a stick insect?” The half-drunk frat boy asked for what seemed like the fiftieth time. He had asked that question when the party started, and had returned repeatedly to Sienna as the evening wore on, asking the same question as his blood alcohol level steadily climbed.

“Yes,” Sienna finally said, hoping that this change in tactic would end the conversation once and for all.

“I thought so,” the frat boy nodded, “I knew it the moment I saw you. STICK INSECT!!!!” The unexpected shouting caused Sienna to jump. It also caught Erik’s attention.

“Everything ok over here?”

“THERE’S A STICK INSECT AT THE BAR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Okay, buddy,” Erik patted the guy on the shoulder, “Good one. I think you came with Jon’s friend Brody, right? Okay, let’s get you back over there.”

Sienna signaled to the bartender to close up her tab.

“Sorry about that Sienna, I got caught up with the trivia thingy over there,” Erik gave Sienna a quick squeeze on the arm.

“He was fine, just got a little loud at the end. Was he even in costume?”

“I think he intended to be the Man in Black.”

Sienna raised her eyebrows, “If that’s the case, he clearly ran out of money, motivation, and fabric…”

“Hey, are you leaving?” Erik asked as the bartender slid the bill over to Sienna.

“I signed up to do a Christmas Eve swim practice tomorrow morning at the Y. Can’t stay out too late. You ok getting home?”

Erik nodded, “I’m going to ride with Grasser. See you tomorrow, thanks for coming tonight. Sorry about the stick insect guy.”

Sienna gave Erik a big hug, “You were on fire with the trivia tonight. You would have given Sasha a good run for her money if she’d been here.”

“Her loss, she probably bagged this because she knew she’d lose to me. Here, let me walk you out.”

As Sienna drove off, Erik ran back inside, the cold having eaten through his thin pirate shirt. He almost tripped over Jon, who was slumped over a booth by the entrance with his legs sticking out.

“Dude — what happened?” Erik knew the deal before Jon could muster an answer. His friend was clearly done for the night. “Oh come on, man, this is NOT cool.”

“Water…” Jon warbled.

After a number of failed attempts to get a ride home, he dialed Sasha’s number and flinched in anticipation of her displeasure, “Hey Sasha… Jon did not manage to maintain his designated driver status. We need a ride.”

“Why don’t you drive him home?”

“Yeah, except that doesn’t get me home. His dad needs the car in the morning, so I’d need a ride back from his place if I did that. I just called his girlfriend and she won’t get here for a while. So come get me. Please?”

“Have Sienna drive you — she went in her mom’s car.”

“She already left. Now get your ass out of bed and come get me.”

Sasha looked out her window, and there in the Logan’s driveway was Barbara’s car. Sasha kicked herself for not noticing Sienna’s return.

“Fine,” Sasha heaved herself off her bed and got dressed. By the time Sasha got to The Pool Hall, it was almost midnight. She spotted Erik at the bar with Hannah and Kristen.

“Fancy seeing you here,” she said sarcastically.

Hannah raised her hands in resignation, “There are only two places worth going to in this part of town — this place, and Jerry’s next door. And two guys got in a fight over there, so we moved over here.”

“Do you need a ride back home too?”

Kristen nodded hopefully, “We were going to call a cab… but we’d love a ride. You only need to make one extra stop — Hannah is staying with me tonight. And my house is literally 10 minutes away from yours.”

“Fine, but you guys owe me,” Sasha smiled, “Let’s go. Where’s Grasser?”

“He’s in the bathroom worshipping the porcelain throne. His girlfriend’s on her way. She’ll take care of his transportation logistics.”

“Nice ride, Sasha,” commented Kristen as they piled into the BMW.

Erik laughed, “This is dad’s car. Sasha drives a pick-up that’s older than any of us. You’d be freezing your asses off on the flatbed if she had rolled up in that antique.”

“Cost me $900 and it runs like a dream. Sienna found it for me, actually.”

“Does Anastasia know that?” Erik teased, “I’m surprised she agrees to ride in that thing.”

Sasha scoffed, “Not for much longer. But she did flip out when I told her how Sienna found it. I mean, never mind that Sienna’s (a) my oldest friend, (b) straight, and (c) not — “

“What do you mean ‘not for much longer?'” Erik jumped in.

“What do you mean ‘she’s straight’?” Hannah interrupted.

Sasha ignored Erik and looked in the rear-view mirror, “Hannah, what do you mean what do I mean?”

Hannah sat forward, “She hasn’t told you about Sydney? Or Alex?”

Sasha rolled her eyes, “Sienna doesn’t tell me about her boyfriends anymore.”

“Sydney and Alex aren’t boys, Sasha,” Hannah blurted out.

“WHAT?” Sasha and Erik both turned and looked back at Hannah in shock.

“Eyes on the road, Sasha!” Kristen shouted.

Sasha’s brain had turned to mush, so she did the only sensible thing at that moment, which was to pull into the first gas station she saw. As the car idled in a parking spot, she turned to Hannah, “Start over. Who are these people? I heard her talk about Alex freshman year, but I thought it was some guy she was into.”