Chapter 3

I suppose all artists have moments of feeling redundant. I kicked a stone in front of me as I cringed at calling myself an artist.

But if you use your brain to create something. Wouldn’t that be the definition of artistry? You’re not technically referencing the quality of the work, rather the process of creating. I didn’t say, for example, great artist. I just said artist.

My mind was starting to spin out of control, and I frowned; I thought of what the next pending thing was instead. Brunch tomorrow with Sully. For now, I could swim, try to bug Suzie, bug Jesse. I could write even.

I went to rent a car near my hotel, and looked for the sexiest one. I had a motorcycle license, and I couldn’t resist renting one. I wanted autonomy as well as a little bit of rebelliousness and the hot, vibrating motorcycle was just the ticket. I drove the lovely red rented bike out to the beach and set my laptop up in a cafe that served spiked coffees with weed. Oh, how do I love LA? Let me count the ways.

I sat, writing what I was actually inspired to write. Something that Sully probably didn’t care about but it’s what came into my brain so, who cares?

This is our system. He says what I should write, I get angry and lash out. I get struck by inspiration in the midst of freaking out, the outline of the book gets written. Sully cautiously approves of the concept. I write it with ample pressure and editorial support from him coupled with a sabbatical at a lonely cabin somewhere to end the story, I turn the manuscript in. The publisher asks, “why did you write this?” I say, “I don’t know.” They realize it actually works, then give me more technical support for my writing and sell it.

It’s all very repetitive except for the fact that I need to think up the next plot point slowly. Little by little, like my own torturous game of Jenga.

I got to my hotel, and a bell boy came up to hug me. His tie was askew and his uniform unbuttoned. He was either getting off a shift or just came in.

“Hi Jules.” He was a Hispanic guy around my age that I’d connected with. His name was Julian De Montes and I was very close to asking him to bring his family around because I missed my own.

“Hi Mory! How long you here for?”

“Two weeks! Suzie’s getting here on Friday.”

He wolf whistled, and I smiled.

“She’s hotter than last time you saw her, Jules.”

“I bet! Anything you want, Mo. I got you okay?” He gripped my forearm.

“Thanks, man. What are you doing today?”

“I was going to go home. Mom made chiles rellenos!”

“Sure! But please be warned, if you’re making serious money, my mom is going to want to marry us, no matter how gay you are, sorry…”

“Ha! No worries! So long as you don’t mind going through that and know there’s no chance in frozen hell I’d be straight.”

“Okay! Yeah! Then can I come?”

“Thank you! Want me to meet you there?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a date afterwards.”

“Yes, well not everyone wants to spend the night with family, gorging on cheese.”

“Why not? Cheese is great!”

“Mo. Would you like to come to a live event of grunge rock?” He said in defeat, knowing I was going to weasel my way into his plans anyway.

“Okay, you can go with us if you’d like, and I’ll bring you back.”

“You’re awesome, Jules!”

“Yeah, you owe me though. I wanted to spend tonight just with my girl.”

“Sure thing! Why don’t you and her come over here at the hotel on Sunday? I’ll cook and you can lounge at the pool and jacuzzi.”

He waggled his head, enjoying the idea.

“Okay! Thanks man! I’d love to see her in a bikini.”

“Cool! What’s her name, anyway?”

“Oh! It’s the same girl!”

“Yeah, of course! It’s my Gloria!”

“All right. Cool! I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks! My family likes her too.” He smiled at me dopily, and I clapped him on his arm, smiling warmly at him.

“All right, let’s go. Give me your address again please?”

“Sure!” He rattled off his address quickly and I took it down.

“Can I take anything?”

“Sodas if you want! Something Mexican would make you a huge favorite.”

I said goodbye then called Suzie.

“I’m on my way to Julian’s, they have chiles rellenos!”

“Yeah! I can’t wait to see his family.”

“I sort of promised to have him and his girlfriend over on Sunday, sorry for not running it by you.”

“No worries, I like him too. I hope his new girl is okay.“

“It’s the same girl!”

“Yeah! Doesn’t eight months mean something?”

“Yes! It does! She must be special! Report back every single thing tomorrow, okay?“

There was silence on the phone, and I wished I could see her eyes.

“I love you.” She said softly, and my eyes prickled.

“I love you too, baby. You know, If you really were a kept woman, you’d be with me everywhere.” I said with a little smirk.

“Same here, darling. You could just hang around me all day and feed me grapes!“

I laughed. “True! I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know how it went.”

“Okay. Say hello to Jules and his girlfriend.“

“Okay! Hey, what are you wearing?” My voice dropped.

She laughed loudly. “Nothing, Mor. I was going to spend a little time on me.“

“Really? You’re in the mood?”

“It’s my first day away from you, darling. Of course, I’m in the mood.“

The silence made me hot and I sighed out loudly.

“God, yeah. Make yourself feel good, baby. I can call you tomorrow.” I could barely contain myself. The live event all of a sudden seemed dull and more trouble than it was worth in comparison to a hot night with her.

“Um. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it tonight.“

“Oh god, yeah. Take a warm bath. Put oils and bubble bath in the hot water. Once you get out, touch your breasts and your clit slowly, like I do to you. Then, when you get desperate, take a vibrator and make yourself come. Take your time. Try to go slow.”

“A bath sounds nice.“

“I’ll be thinking of you, baby girl. I wish I was between your legs instead.”

“Ugh, me too. Have a nice time tonight. I’ll call tomorrow.“

“You have a very nice time too.” I grinned into my phone.

“I will! I’ll be thinking of you too.“

I reluctantly hung up on her.

“Hi, Mrs. De Montes! Thank you for having me!”

I hugged her tightly. She smelled like sweat and oregano.

“Moriah! You are welcome whenever you want! You know they are translating your books to Spanish now? Julian got me El asesino de terciopelo (The Velvet Killer). It’s very good and very hot! You bad girl!”

I grinned at her, knowing full well her soaps were a million times worse.

“Just for you Mama Concha.” I winked at her, and I swear she blushed, even in the hot kitchen. “These are for you, by the way. Just a thank you for feeding me.” I handed her a bouquet.

“¡Ay! ¡Que bonitas flores! ¿Porque ustedes nunca muestran ningúna gracias ni cual pinche emoción en esta casa?” She screamed in Spanish while she pounded on her sons’ heads with her dish towel. It translated roughly to her complaining that she was never shown any appreciation for her work. Jules immediately scowled at me, and I grinned back cheekily.

One must capitalize on the ease of making other people’s parents adore you since it may not always be possible to placate one’s own parents.

“Fuck you, Mor. I’m not going to hear the end of this for months.” We walked down the hallway to his room while his mom and aunts finished cooking dinner.

“Ten bucks for freeway flowers, babe. She don’t need much.”

“Small business growth, happy moms… It’s really a no-brainer”

He shoved me into his room.

I used the momentum to lay across his bed.

“So! Curious minds want to know!” I grabbed at his expensive lightsaber and switched it on to point it at him. “How are you and Gloria?”

He sat at his desk chair, and gave me one of those stupid coy boy smiles.

“Aha! Wait. What does that mean?”

“It means, I like her.”

“Okay!” I smiled approvingly. “And it’s been eight months.”

He pointed at me. “It’s weird you know that. But yeah.”

I swished the saber around, admiring the green traces of light it left behind.

“I just wanna be around her.” He stood up and stuck his hands in his armpits. “Like all the time.”

“No but, like, I’d rather be with her than by myself.” He moved his hand as he punctuated his sentence.

“Right. Like you can’t breathe until you’re back with her.”

“And like–yeah! Breathing!”

“And you think you can look at her for hours and hope she doesn’t think you’re a weirdo because you can’t get enough of her dimples or counting the wrinkles of her eyes, laugh lines, and random line in her lips. Everything of hers becomes what you live for and you don’t think you’ll ever get enough. Sometimes you think you’ll go fucking crazy with this huge bubble that is constantly over your chest and it might get bigger and bigger and then it’ll be too much! But right now it’s nice. It’s a weighted blanket that’s woven from the very last thing she said or the last time she made eye contact with you. Or the last time she shook under your body and it’s just there… burned into the forefront of your mind and you scream at the heavens ‘why in the hell aren’t you allowed to just quit your job and love on her ALL THE TIME!'”

I looked down and I had several plushies in my arms in addition to the lightsaber.

I was in a corner of the room almost shouting at his mirror. Looking around, I found him with his mouth hanging open and back in his seat.

“Um–I mean, I’m real happy your relationship is going well, Jules.”

I sat back down on his bed, putting the saber away.

“Holy shit, dude. No wonder they pay you to write stuff.”

“Yeah, no! That’s exactly what I think! That’s what I’m feeling! And you said it!” He shouted with a wide smile. “Could you help me write that? I could use it to get laid.”

I laughed. “Sure, man! What kind of author friend would I be if I refused to be the Cyrano to your Christian?”

“Never mind. Just get a pen and paper.”

I lowered the crazy for him and waxed poetic about being head over heels in love. I dumbed it down because as beautiful as my friend Julian is, the intellect wasn’t quite there. His heart? Huge! His, um, discernment? Not quite there.

“Amazing! Want to shout from the rooftops…” He mouthed quietly as he finished up. “Yeah, this is great! I’m giving this to her today!”

His signature was messed up with my outburst.

“Sorry, it’s just–this letter deserves a nice occasion, you know?”

“Yeah! So wait for a nice date night. Redo the letter so it’s a little neater and dress up for her.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Then I get a blow job.” He spoke in a serious voice.

“Yes… then you get massively blown.” I nodded in agreement.

“Nice! Thanks, Mory!”

“You’re very welcome. Think of me when–no wait, that’s weird. I’m hungry, let’s go eat.”

I walked down the hall to the kitchen, loading my plate with chiles and dumping salsa all over them.

It was six AM my time and ten AM her time. She wouldn’t stop laughing.

“How do you–ah!–how do you always end up in those situations?“

“Weird, awkward situations where I’m helping a man get laid?”

“Yes!” She shrieked in laughter.

“I have no idea. Except I pity the poor oblivious boy who’s relying on his abs to drive his whole love life.”

“Thank god you have abs AND brains, Mor! Or else I’d have left a long time ago!“

I rolled my eyes though she couldn’t see me.

“He loves her and it’s sweet he’s trying to make actual date nights with her.”

“He really thought a grunge rock event would romance her?“

“The band was pretty cool.” I defended my friend.

“Mor. Grunge rock, dirty bathrooms, super loud.“

“Yeah, okay. So he’s not Mr. Wine-and-dine.”

“BUT! You should see how she looks at him, Suz. She adores Jules.”

“Yeah! Big ol’ hearts-for-eyes. She’s a keeper.”

“I can’t wait to see them. Do you know what you’re cooking?“

“I’ll grill so we can spend the day by the pool. The weather’s nice and it’ll give me an excuse to go looking for locally sourced meat.”

“Sounds lovely. Have fun at your meat markets!“

“I will! Want seafood too?”

“Ooh! Yes, please! The jumbo shrimps I like in the Cajun butter?” She smacked her lips in anticipation.

“Yum! Wait! You distracted me! What were we talking about?“

“How much you miss me and can’t wait to see me on Friday.”

“Baby, I’m aching for you.“

“Fuck. I can’t wait to put my hands on you.”

“Should we abstain until then and make it nicer?” She teased.

“Hell no! Get Liam out. I’m using the butt plug.”