Chapter 44

Clay avoided me for the rest of the week and then the week after that. He accepted that I didn’t want to talk to him, and that he had a new partner in physics for the rest of the year. He must’ve had a conversation with Faye, because both of them stopped hounding me at the same time, and that fact made me angry. Not because they’d given me the space I had obviously been crying for, but because they were obviously talking more than they used to and for some reason that set my blood on fire.

I had been trying to kid myself for weeks, hoping that I wasn’t seeing Clay in that photo, that maybe Faye was kissing another boy from another school. But the fact I watched them for weeks at school, hanging around together and avoiding me, forced me to believe that it was the two of them in that photo, and I think they had finally worked out that I knew.

I’ve been speaking to April occasionally, more often than not at my breakfast bar after she’d spent the night with my brother. It didn’t make me feel as weird as it did before, and frankly I was warming to the idea, I’m just still butthurt she couldn’t have pre-warned me she was seeing my brother before it was pushed in my face at Christmas dinner.

We kept it amicable at soccer practice, but the girls all knew the dynamic between us had changed. There wasn’t any banter between Mackenzie and April over who got to pair up with me for drills, April being replaced by Freya for group work. I know that Raven was dying to press me for information, but she extended me a courtesy of keeping her interest in the gossip to herself.

We had just finished the final practice before we leave for the state finals, and it was evident that something needed to give between us. We were no longer working together as captains of the team, the communication had dried up. Hell, even simple things like the ability to read each other when making passing plays during scrimmages had pretty much stopped.

I mop the sweat from my brow with the hem of my shirt as I send the girls to the changing rooms, my eyes scanning at the cones and other equipment I needed to round up for Coach. We wanted to train for longer than she could stay for so she gave me the keys to the store cupboard, asking me to pack everything away and leave them on her desk for the morning.

Mackenzie sent me a glance, asking with her eyes whether I wanted some help, but the look on my face clearly said that I wanted some time to myself to mull over the thoughts overcrowding my brain at the moment. She nodded in understanding, kissed me softly on the lips and followed the rest of the team inside to the locker room.

I breathe out heavily from my nose before wandering around the pitch, picking up various cones and hurdles and shoving them in the bag slung over my shoulder. I’m being stubborn with April, I know I am, and I’m almost being as cold towards her as I am with Faye and Clay and that isn’t fair to her.

I just feel awkward bringing it up. It’s created such a massive rift between the two of us that I don’t know if it’ll ever repair itself properly. Like, the trust is gone between us now, and I’m not sure I could ever trust her in the same way again, which really hurts. I’ve lost the three people that I thought I could trust most in the whole world in the space of a couple of weeks and I don’t know how to deal with it.

“Need a hand?” I hear a familiar voice ask me awkwardly from behind. I look up and see April standing behind me, the second kit bag in her hand. She looks tired, and not just from training. Dark circles are forming under her eyes that are visible against her pale skin. There is a distance between us that isn’t just physical, and my heart aches at how far we’ve fallen.

I swallow harshly at the realisation, and just nod. An overwhelming feeling to just burst into tears washes over to me, and I knew if I opened my mouth or tried to speak I’d be opening the floodgates.

I don’t know why seeing her right now is bothering me so much. It’s not like I’ve not seen or spoken to her since Christmas. Maybe that’s what is making the situation worse, that I’m still around her but acting like she’s Will’s girlfriend I barely know, rather than the girl I have been best friend’s with since diapers.

We work together in silence, collecting everything up. I occasionally glance up to look at her to see her doing the same, both of us diverting our gazes when we lock eyes. The knot at the back of my throat is building, my vision clouding at the fact I’m stood close to my best friend, but never felt further away.

“April.” I find myself saying, dropping the kit bag and raising my figure to look at her. April’s gaze is sad as she looks at me, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she hums in acknowledgement. “I hate this.”

April’s gaze flickers upwards as she swallows harshly. “I hate this too.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” I find myself stumbling over my words, as I finally feel ready to speak up about how I’ve been feeling. “I miss you. I miss you more than anything. I’m not mad that you’re with my brother, I’m just mad you didn’t tell me after everything I opened up to you about.”

“I know that.” April’s lip wobbles, her watery eyes filled with so much guilt. “I am so sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It came out at a bad time.” I admit to her, running my hands over my hair to smooth. “I was already so angry at Clay and Faye that when this happened, it was the thing that tipped me over the edge.”

“I understand.” April mumbles, her hands wringing in front of her. “We shouldn’t have sprung it at Christmas either. I understand that all trust is gone from us. I will do everything to try and earn it back, but I miss my best friend.”

“I miss her too.” I laugh, swiping furiously at the stray tears betraying my resolve. “I think Mackenzie is getting sick of me spending all of my time with her.”

“Oh I doubt that.” April smiles. “Even a blind man could see how much she loves you.”

We stop and stare at one another for a brief moment, contemplating where we go from here. I would want nothing more than to just go back to how it was before, but we’re both not naïve enough to know that would ever happen. Trust was broken and it will take a long time to repair what was damaged, thought it will never be the same.

I open my arms wide and April steps into them, embracing me in a tight, bone crushing hug. She smells familiar and comforting, hints of sea salt and her perfume still lingering in her hair despite our workout.

“I don’t want to hear about anything you and my brother have been doing.” I wrinkle my nose in disgust. “I don’t think I’ll be able to cope with finding out what you two have been doing in his room every time I’ve bumped into you.”

“I’d never put you through that trauma.” April snorts, her arms tightening around my shoulders. “He does make me happy though.”

“Good.” I smile, resting my chin on her shoulder. “That’s good for me.”

~•~

Slowly but surely, our relationship began to repair itself over the course of the next week. April started sitting with me at lunch again, and we felt more comfortable laughing and joking with each other. It was like the rest of the soccer girls were holding their breaths, and now that we’ve buried a lot of our problems, the girls can finally breathe again.

Neither of us are stupid enough to think we can go back to how everything was before all of this happened. It will take a while for the trust to get back to a place where it was before, but we’re both willing to work for it. The steps we have taken are helping, and after some convincing we’ve agreed to go on a double date near UPenn tonight. I think this is April’s way of apologising again, hoping that this will be her way of helping me and my brother to fix our relationship next.

It won’t be easy as both Will and I are incredibly stubborn people, so unless one of us relents and backs down, this could go on for a while.

Mackenzie is surprisingly excited about going on a double date. She has even gone to the lengths of booking us a hotel for Friday night and Saturday night so we can have a weekend away. I love the idea as we get to spend a weekend away from a town where everyone knows us, and just be two girls who love each other in front of a load of strangers whose opinions really have little influence on how I will feel. It’s also a little getaway before we take the trip to State next Tuesday, thought it seems pointless having to come back for one night before coming all the way back again. But I suppose the drive is only 50 minutes away so it isn’t the end of the world

We set off straight from school, bags already prepacked in the car the night before. Mackenzie has had a bright smile on her face for the whole day, and the way she’s been looking at me has set butterflies off in my stomach every single time.

The thought of once again being in a room, alone, with nobody around to disturb or interrupt us is making my heart race. I’m glad that there’s no pressure or expectation that comes with the “first time” on our shoulders. I think if the date followed by time in a room alone, I would’ve chickened out or stressed out too much about meeting an expectation set by myself for sex.

Now, we can have it and not make a big deal.

Mackenzie pulls out of the school parking lot and heads out of town towards the highway, dropping her phone in my lap to pick the music. I’m not too bothered about what we listen to because I am quite happy to talk to her the whole drive. I love talking to Mack, it isn’t something I feel I will ever tire of.

“Do you know the plans for tonight?” I ask Mackenzie, lacing my fingers through her hand and dropping it in my lap, loving the way her thumb automatically strokes my knuckles. “April hasn’t said much to me.”

“She’s told me the restaurant we’re meeting at.” Mackenzie replies, her eyes on the road. “After that, I think she’s left the schedule open.”

“No way.” I joke, squeezing Mackenzie’s hand when I see her grin. “You’re telling me that April has left us to come up with plans, and hasn’t micro planned the date to the minute?”

“I was surprised too.” She laughs, sending a quick glance my way. “She implied she didn’t want to put a time limit on you and your brother hashing this out.”

My smile sobers. Even when April and I are not as close as we used to be, she has put me first in this situation. I know she’s working hard to repair the cracks in our friendship, but putting me before plans she could’ve easily made with Will just the two of them, softens my heart.

“So once we get to Philly, we have a couple of hours before April and Will are meeting us at the hotel, so do you fancy walking around?” Mack asks me, raising our intertwined hands to press a kiss to my knuckles. “We could go and see if UPenn have anything scheduled tomorrow? I’m pretty sure they have a football game we could go to.”

“That sounds nice.” I sigh, enjoying the feeling of her lips against my skin. Heat is spreading from my palms and up my arm, making me feel relaxed, safe. “It’ll be nice to just walk around as well.”

Mackenzie hums in agreement before kissing my hand again.

It’s not long before we pull into the underground parking complex for the hotel. Mackenzie runs around and opens my door for me, earning her big brownie points. She slides her hand into mine, lacing her fingers through my cold ones, my skin relishing in the warmth that spreads through my palm. We grab our bags from the trunk and walk hand in hand to the elevator that will take us to the lobby, my body humming with the excitement of the thought of a weekend getaway.

We receive the room key from an overly friendly receptionist, his eyes dragging over my girlfriend’s figure like a man starved. I can feel my gaze hardening, not only at the fact he’s ogling her, but at the fact he’s blatantly ignoring me.

Again, Mackenzie is ignoring him as much as she can, though he’s making a blatant point about of being as slow as he can with handing over the key, typing everything into the computer incredibly slowly, causing my temper to slowly rise.

“Thank you.” I snap frostily, snatching the keys finally from his outstretched fingers that were aimed at Mackenzie. His lazy smirk disappears as he finally acknowledges my existence, his eyes losing their amusement as I interrupt his embarrassing attempt at flirting with a girl that is so not in his league it’s almost funny.

I can hear Mackenzie chuckling as I stomp to the elevator, glaring at the receptionist until the doors close and I no longer have to see his stupid face. The audacity of that man.

“You were jealous.” Mackenzie smiles triumphantly, letting go of her suitcase to pull my body flush to hers. “You have no need to be jealous.”

“Why do you have to be so damn pretty.” I grumble, sulkily accepting the kiss she places against my out jutting bottom lip. “Why couldn’t you be a gross troll that nobody but me wants to look at.”

“You want me to look like a gross troll?” Mackenzie laughs, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “I think you’d miss this pretty face if I became a troll.”

“No.” I admit, unable to help the smile forming on my face, her amusement infectious. “I like you just the way you are.”

“Only like?” She teases, encircling my waist further to the point I have to place my hand on her chest for balance.

I enjoy the proximity, loving the way I can smell the hint of vanilla clinging to her shirt, her breathe fanning across my cheeks. I won’t let her know that and decide continue playing the game, so I roll my eyes, silently revelling in the feeling of her hand drawing circles on my lower back. “You heard me.”

“I think you’re lying.” Mackenzie mutters as she gazes at my lips, her smile growing smug. “I know you love the way I look.”

“You and your inflated ego need to shut up.” I tantalise, moving my hand from her chest to the back of her neck and pulling her lips to meet mine. They’re cold, and the kiss is brief, but the warmth that spreads through my body at the contact makes my chest flutter. I sigh and nip at her lips as I pull away, enjoying the sight of her frustrated at the fact I have ended a kiss I believe she was enjoying.

The elevator dings quietly as we arrive at our floor and we step out into a plush hallway, deep red carpets underfoot. I slide my hand into hers and intertwine our fingers, smiling softly at the way she squeezes it three times in response.

“How long before we need to meet April outside?” I mutter, feeling the air thicken as we walk from the elevator to the room. I’m hoping my palms don’t feel sweaty in hers.

We find our room halfway along the hall and I swipe the electronic keycard across the lock, greeted with a quick beep and a green light.

“We have a couple of hours.” Mackenzie hums, shutting the hotel room door behind her and dropping her suitcase at her feet. Her eyes are darker than a storm cloud, her bee stung lips stretched into a knowing smile. “Why?”

The temperature in the room has increased by a tenfold, my body acutely aware of the layers that both myself and Mackenzie are currently wearing and how many layers I think she need to remove.

“Because,” I begin, looping my finger through her exposed necklace and pulling her towards me. I step backwards into the empty bedroom, dragging her grinning figure with me. “I want to know how much time I can have you to myself without needing to leave this room.”

Mackenzie’s smile becomes wicked, her fingernails digging into my sides, forcing a heavy sigh to escape my lips. She follows after me with very little resistance, moving with me until the backs of my legs collide with the edge of the mattress.

“Oh I can assure you,” Mackenzie whispers against my lips, her hands skimming my shoulders as she removes my jacket, letting it drop to the floor at my feet. I feel my eyes flutter shut and a sigh escape my lips as her lips make contact with the hollow of my throat. “we have plenty of time.”

“Good.” I mumble as she pushes me backwards onto the awaiting bed. “Because I want to make the most of every second.”

“Trust me baby, I plan on using every spare one.”

~•~

Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed spooky season and are ready for Christmas! (If you celebrate it)

Hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter, I’m once again very sorry I’ve left you on a bit of a tease hanger, but I can’t bring myself to write any smut 😂

This is a bit of a filler for the next chapter, which I’m hoping will be enjoyable and certainly longer than this one!

I’m winding this book down to its final chapters now, so I really don’t want to leave you with any loose ends as you deserve a proper ending with nothing left unanswered. These next few chapters will do that!

I’ve already started writing the final chapter as I know how this book is going to end, it’s just making sure I slide through the next few chapters without it feeling chunky and not right.

Thank you all so much for staying on this journey with me and I hope you all stay the the bitter and (hopefully happy) exciting end.

With all my love,

Lauryn