Chapter 39

“Pulling my arm isn’t going to make me walk any faster!”

I laugh as I drag my half-conscious girlfriend across the parking garage towards my car. I had set an alarm ridiculously early without her knowledge and proceeded to force Mackenzie out of bed, into clothes, and out of her brother’s apartment, all before five o’clock in the morning.

I haven’t had ‘the talk’ with her about why I’d been so distant after the ski trip. I spent time with my family, and I enjoyed catching up with my brother; I finally went out and bought all of my Christmas presents. I texted her back and explained why I had been so unavailable, and she understood, so I decided that I would finally explain myself. I planned a date for today, stayed over at hers last night, and explained the plan to her – to an extent – which she was completely on board with.

I think she’s regretting it now because I failed to mention how early the early wake-up was going to be.

“This date better not be around people,” Mackenzie mutters tiredly to me once she’s seated in my car, her head resting against the window and her eyes closed. “You have forced me to leave the house looking like a tramp.”

“Well, personally, I think you look beautiful.” I smile, leaning across the car and placing a soft kiss on her tired lips. My smile widens when I see the way her lips stretch into a smile that mirrors mine at the contact. “And like I said last night, it is just the two of us.”

“Good.” She mumbles, her fingers lacing with mine as she goes back to sleep. The drive to our date is a good half an hour away, so I don’t mind if she goes back to sleep. If it means she’s awake and enjoys it later, I’ll take a silent car ride any day of the week.

The radio is on quietly in the background as I drive to the place where I plan to explain myself. Despite the fact I came out at school, I still felt too awkward going on dates in town just in case anyone saw us and told my parents before I got the chance to. Now that my parents know and are totally supportive, I don’t feel like I can’t show Mack off to the world, and it’s about time I start appreciating her the way she deserves to be.

If it weren’t so early in the morning, I would’ve grabbed milkshakes from Benny’s. However, we’re about two hours too early for their breakfast menu and about five for their lunch, so that was out of the question. I instead opted to bring a flask of black coffee along as well as some pastries and other cold breakfast “picky bits,” as my dad calls them. It seems a bit silly bringing cold food on a cold date, but I’m hoping the coffee and the blankets stuffed in the back of my car will be enough to keep us warm.

Mackenzie shifts in her seat and starts to wake just as I pull into the gravelly parking space a short walk away from our destination. She rubs at her eyes as she stirs, her grey eyes the colour of cold steel as they start to focus on our surroundings. “Where are we?”

“You’ll see in a minute,” I reply cryptically. The plan is to keep her in the dark as much as possible, just to make the surprise that little bit sweeter. I get out of the car, and Mackenzie follows suit, watching me with a curious gaze as I grab the blankets and the bag containing breakfast from the back seat. “Will you carry these for me, please?”

Mack nods, and I toss them in her direction, catching them with ease before lacing our hands together. The sky is still dark as we walk over to a small dirt path at the end of the makeshift parking lot, the silence between us a comfortable one. Despite the early start, Mackenzie still takes my breath away. Her hair is in a messy bun, and she’s wearing my soccer hoodie from last season, but she still smells like her signature vanilla perfume, and her hand is warm in my own.

We walk for a good ten minutes before we enter a clearing at the top of a hill, welcomed by a view of the impending sunrise that is due in the next twenty minutes. I wanted to do something romantic and unique, and I’ve always wanted to watch the sunrise from up here. I hear Mackenzie gasp slightly as she takes in the view, her face captured in wonder.

“Alex, this is amazing.” She gushes, walking right up to the edge, where the dirt becomes stone, and the hill breaks off to an almost cliff-like edge. Looking down, you can see the forest that hugs the edge of town. “Is that West Chester?”

I look where she’s pointing, and I nod, taking the blankets from her grasp and laying one of them out on the floor, tugging her down to the ground with me.

Mackenzie pulls me closer to her, and I rest my head on her shoulder, enjoying the way her thumb is rubbing gentle circles against my cold knuckles. “This is amazing, Alex, seriously.”

“I hope you’ll think it gets better once the sun rises.” I chuckle, snuggling closer to her as she wraps us up in one of the blankets. “I brought breakfast and coffee if you want some.”

“Obviously.” Mackenzie jokes. I grab the bag and rummage around until I find the flask and pass it to her, a sigh of content slipping past her lips as she takes a sip, steam billowing out with every word. “Oh god, that’s good.”

We sit and enjoy the view and the quiet, the rustling of grass and the occasional hoot of an owl being the only proof of any sign of life other than us. Truth be told, I’m keeping quiet because I’m practising what I need to say, like memorising lines for a play. I want to make sure that when I explain myself, there are no fumbles or miscommunication. I need her to know that I’m not jealous of them, and that is not the reason why I became so distant. I just felt betrayed, and I don’t want her to misinterpret what I say.

“You’re quiet,” Mackenzie notes, her steel gaze boring into my own. “You’ve been quiet since the first night of the ski trip. What’s wrong?”

I sigh in annoyance at the fact I have so casually forgotten how observant my girlfriend is. I tend to go off into my own little world when I’m deep in thought, and Mack has pulled me out of them too many times for her not to notice when I do.

Mackenzie places her cold palm against my cheek as she gently turns me to face her. Her eyes are full of concern as her thumb ghosts over my top lip. “Have I done something to push you away?”

“God, no,” I mutter softly, my head leaning into her touch and tilting slightly to press a determined kiss against her palm. “I just found out something, and I wanted to come to terms with it on my own before involving you.”

“Okay, Riddler.” She smiles teasingly, my own smile blossoming slightly. “Have you come to terms with it?”

“Yes and no,” I admit truthfully, pushing on before I bottle it. “I found out that Clay had been cheating on me when we were still together.”

Mackenzie goes to open her mouth, but I stop her before she gets the chance, my finger pressing against her lips. “Now, don’t for a second think that I’ve been sulking because I still have feelings for him because that is not the case at all. I’m hurt by the fact I was lied to and left in the dark about it for months, and the person he cheated on me with is, no was, my best friend.”

I feel my lip wobble slightly as Mackenzie’s eyes soften. “I spent weeks crying to Faye about how I felt I was losing Clay, and she sat there and comforted me, knowing exactly why he was pulling away.”

“Oh baby.” Mackenzie sighs, enveloping me in a hug that warms me from the chill being carried in the air. I rest my head against her chest as I try to control my feelings. I haven’t fully allowed myself to feel anything other than rage towards the pair of traitors, but now admitting it out loud has me realising just how upset I am about it and how betrayed I really feel. “You could’ve told me.”

“I felt stupid admitting it.” I sniff, letting my head raise slightly to rest in the crook of her neck. “Which now makes me feel even more stupid.”

Mackenzie laughs whilst placing a long kiss against my temple, her arms wrapping tighter around my waist. “Very stupid.”

We sit in comfortable silence, breaking it only to offer each other breakfast items from the bag at our feet and occasionally stealing kisses between bites of food. Mackenzie doesn’t mention it again, but I can tell after a few minutes of quiet eating and the occasional questioning glance that she wasn’t quite done talking about it.

“What do you want to ask?” I giggle as her face goes bright red after I catch her looking at me again. “You’re obviously dying to talk about it.”

“I am not.” She defends half-heartedly, earning a light slap on the shoulder from me. “Hey!”

I lean over and brush my lips teasingly against hers, smirking as I watch her swallow harshly before I pull away. “Fine. No kisses until you spit it out.”

“You’re wicked,” Mackenzie mutters, rolling her eyes jokingly and knocking her shoulder against mine. “But I can’t go without kisses. So, what’re you going to do about Clay and Faye?”

She steals a quick kiss before I can answer, my eyes softening at the triumphant grin that’s overtaken her features. I sober slightly when I decide on my answer, my head pressing gently against hers before pulling away.

“I honestly don’t know.” I sigh, twirling a piece of my girlfriend’s hair around my index finger. “My immediate thought is that when I see them I’ll punch them both in the face. But then the second thought is that I’ll look at them and then burst into tears. So I’ll probably do what I do best when it comes to awkward situations and just avoid them like the plague.”

“And even then, you’re not the best at that.” Mackenzie jokes, no doubt reminiscing about the time I attempted to hide from her after we kissed at Peter’s party. That seems like a lifetime ago, despite being mere months. So much has happened since that kiss, from us sneaking around and going on dates and becoming official to coming out to everyone at that party. It feels like I came full circle last night when I finally told my parents, and I’m now at peace knowing that everyone whose opinions I care about accepts me for who I am.

“You’re right about that.” I snort before sighing again. “I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do until I’m in front of them.”

We stay in that position as the sun starts to climb from the horizon and into the sky, the air turning pink and orange as it wakes from behind the hills surrounding our currently sleepy town. We stay huddled under the blankets, and I slide between Mackenzie’s legs and rest my back against her stomach, taking comfort in her slow and steady breathing. The occasional kiss didn’t go amiss either.

“We should probably head back now,” Mackenzie mumbles against my cold skin once the sun has fully risen, her lips skimming across my collarbone and my exposed neck. “It’s getting colder, and it’s Christmas Eve, after all.”

My throat hums in agreement, and we quickly pack up the blankets and the remains of breakfast before heading to the car. I smile as I drive back to Mackenzie’s apartment, enjoying the feeling of her hand on my knee and the thought of her present hidden in the back of my car.

A present she won’t get to see till tomorrow on the premise that she accepts my invite to Christmas dinner at my house.

My mom and dad have been harping on about meeting my girlfriend, and I’ve kept quiet about the fact it’s Mackenzie. I want my parents to meet her again as my girlfriend, not the friend that’s been over at my house more than April and Faye.

I mean, my mother is rather perceptive; she needs to be for her job, I suppose. She has already shown that she’s switched on with the letter that she left me. It wouldn’t surprise me if – now that she’s been given all of the information surrounding my sexuality – she connects the dots that have built up in the past few months.

Starting with Mackenzie and I spending a lot of nights in when I’d usually go partying, and the fact we’ve stayed at each other’s a lot more than I ever stayed at April’s.

I’ve also found out that my brother is bringing a girl to Christmas dinner, who he is persistently ensuring is not his girlfriend, but if the way his neck reddens when he talks about her is anything to go by, he wishes she was.

We pull into Mackenzie’s apartment parking lot and hurry inside, desperate to warm away the chill that has clung to us since we left earlier this morning, preferably with a coffee because I’m now shattered from the early start and lack of sleep.

It has just started to snow, and the thick fluffy flakes that have fallen from the sky are starting to melt atop my car, the engine still hot. Knowing how the snow gets in Pennsylvania, I’ll have to leave soon or face the chance I may get snowed in here.

As much as the thought is an appealing one, I’m really looking forward to Christmas tomorrow. It is the one day in the entire year that my parents book off in advance, as well as Boxing Day.

My brother and I would always get up early to cook breakfast so we’d have an excuse to wake our parents up. My mom cooks an amazing Christmas dinner, and my dad gets the fire going for the one and only time of the year. Will and I always traditionally played with our presents whilst we waited for food, and then we’d play silly games like charades and Cards Against Humanity as a family once we’d all stuffed our faces with food until we couldn’t breathe. We always made it our mission to come up with the most appalling answers just to see my mother’s disgusted expression right before she put an answer down that would blow us out of the water.

Christmas is the one time of the year that we actually feel like a family, and I want Mackenzie to be a part of it.

Mackenzie passes me a steaming mug of hot chocolate once we’re in the warmth and safety of her room as I sit on her window perch. I’m looking out at the snow falling gently from the grey clouds that have now swallowed the sky.

“Thank you.” I smile, leaning up to meet her halfway in a chaste kiss before she sits across from me, her legs jumbling up with my own as we stuff ourselves onto her perch not really meant for two. “Ugh, this is just what I needed.”

“I’ve finally got the feeling back in my nose.” Mackenzie glares jokingly at me, her toes prodding into my side. “A sunrise date is cute, but not in the middle of winter.”

“I won’t plan another date then.” I stick my tongue out at her, and she rolls her eyes, resting her hand on my knee and squeezing it gently.

We sit in a comfortable silence as we both stare out of her window, only the occasional sound of sipping at drinks permeating the room. The snow is steadily falling, and I know I should leave soon to ensure I don’t get snowed in, but all I want to do is spend my time with Mackenzie. I wasted so much time avoiding her – again – that now I want to fill every waking minute I have with her until we go back to school.

I want her to wrap me up in her arms until I fall asleep on her chest. The scent of coconut and vanilla that radiates from her clothing has now become a comfort for me, and I struggle to sleep if she’s not around. I need her to lend me a hoodie that she’s sprayed with her perfume so I can wear it until it’s dirty and disgusting and needs washing.

And even then, I won’t give it back because it belongs to her, which automatically makes me want to wear it over any of my perfectly acceptable hoodies.

“Alex?” I hear Mackenzie’s soft voice break me from my daydream, a familiar yet unexplainable emotion I haven’t yet deciphered pulling at her beautiful features. “Can I give you your Christmas present?”

I smile and nod, my eyes following her slender frame as she strides across the room and collects a neatly wrapped package from her bedside drawer.

I, too, have one of her presents at the bottom of my bag. The other one I’ll make her wait for, but I’ve been dying to give her this one ever since Will helped me pick it out last week when we went shopping together.

I slip the small box behind my back as I take a seat on her bed, my face feeling warm at the way she smiles at me when she turns around and drops on the bed next to me. “Me first.”

Mackenzie hands me a rectangular present neatly wrapped in green wrapping paper and tied with a golden bow, along with a long, cylindrical gift wrapped the same way. They’re not heavy; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I peel back the paper on the smallest present to see a framed photograph of the both of us from the ski trip. I smile, my fingers gently tracing over the glass as I remember how happy I was in this moment, how carefree I felt with Mackenzie posing across my body, laughing as we looked at each other.

Freya took that photo for us, and it doesn’t annoy me like it would have before. She actually offered after she saw us laughing in the mountainside cafe, and I didn’t object to it.

“I love this.” I smile gratefully at her, leaning across and planting a kiss on her soft lips. “Thank you.”

“It’s not much.” Mackenzie shrugs, an obvious blush rising on her cheeks. “You’re surprisingly hard to buy for, so I figured I’d go down the sentimental route with you.”

I rip off the paper of the second present, and my eyebrows furrow at the cardboard tube in front of me. Mackenzie points to a small lid at the end, and I pop it off, peering inside to see what looks like a poster neatly rolled up inside. I pull the poster out and gasp at what’s on it.

It’s a constellation, or a picture of stars, neatly printed, with the date of what will be our anniversary neatly scrawled underneath. I look at Mackenzie and could cry at how cute this is, barely noticing the bashful expression on her face.

“It’s the exact time you asked me to be your girlfriend,,” Mackenzie states shyly, my eyebrows raising. “Straight after you asked me,, I checked the time, so now you have a reminder of one of the best days of my life.”

I honestly could cry. This is the most thoughtful, beautiful gift that I have ever received from anyone. I wouldn’t care how much this cost because the sentimentality of it makes it all the more special.

“Honestly, it’s perfect,” I mumble emotionally, unable to control the size of the smile that has blossomed on my face. “I love it, thank you.”

Mackenzie blushes as I hand her the small box hidden behind my back, and I immediately start questioning myself whether or not my gift to her is good enough. She’s gone for sentimental, and whilst I have done the same, I question whether it’s good enough.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to beat a poster of the exact time I asked her to be my girlfriend printed in the stars.

I watch with bated breath as Mackenzie slides the lid off the gift box, her face breaking into that smile of hers that I love so much as she removes the silver necklace I bought her. “Oh Alex…”

She raises it so that she’s eye level with the small letter ‘A’ attached to the silver chain, her fingers skimming over the charm. I blush slightly and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I wanted to give you something that will remind you of me when you look at it.”

I take the necklace from her and motion for her to turn around, my hands shaking slightly as my fingertips skim her hair away from her nape. I clasp it around her neck and adore the way she’s looking at it with so much appreciation; it makes me feel like I made the right choice with the present.

Thank you, Will, for encouraging me to buy it.

“Well now you’ve made my present look rubbish.” Mackenzie laughs as she turns to face me before taking my face in her hands and bringing my lips to hers.

Her lips taste like the hot chocolate we both drank, and they’re much warmer than they were earlier this morning. My fingers find their way up to her face before burying into her loose blonde curls, my brain satisfied with the way Mackenzie sighs against my lips.

The way we kiss is like a passionate dance; slow and sensual. I know just how to kiss her in a way that she enjoys, just like she knows exactly how to do the same with me. I love the way she nips at my bottom lip when she wants to deepen the kiss, and she definitely likes when I pull on her hair slightly when she does.

We break apart gasping for breath, a Cheshire cat-like smile on my face as I rest my forehead against hers. “What’re you doing for Christmas Day tomorrow?”

Mackenzie chuckles breathlessly. “That’s what you’re thinking about whilst we kiss?

“Shut up,” I mumble, my cheeks flaming red at the realisation of how that looked. “Just answer the question.”

“Well, usually Nate and Piper go all out for breakfast, but then we usually just get take out for Christmas dinner.”

“Well, how would you feel about coming to Christmas dinner with my family?” I ask, my tongue feeling dry at the next part. “As my girlfriend?”

Mackenzie’s gaze snaps to me in shock, though it’s obvious she’s trying to conceal her smile. “You came out to your parents?”

“I came out to my parents.” I nod, laughing as Mackenzie tackles me onto my back, a giant grin on her face.

“Alex, I am so so proud of you!” Mackenzie begins to pepper kisses all over my face, neck, and available skin. “Of course I’ll come to yours tomorrow.”

“Great,” I say breathlessly. “For a second there I thought you were going to say no.”

“Don’t be daft.” Mackenzie scolds. “Why would I ever turn down the chance to spend time with you?”

She kisses me again, and I’m not nervous for tomorrow, because I know my family already loves her, and when I’m by Mackenzie’s side, we can tackle anything that is thrown at us.

~•~

WELL GUYS, HOW’D YOU LIKE THAT FOR A QUICK FIRE CHAPTER.

I absolutely loved writing this chapter, and I’ve already started writing the next one! I can’t wait for you to read on.

But don’t forget to let me know what you thought of this one!

Lots of Love,

Lauryn xoxo