Chapter 14

𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗

“Where’s Aries?” Khalil questioned, and I instantly felt my mood sour. I pressed my palm a little harder against my stomach, rollin’ my eyes like I wasn’t already irritated.

It was Aries’s first day off. My father called all the way from out the city, talkin’ ’bout, “She should take a break.” And then had the nerve to follow it up with, “You grown enough to handle yourself for a day.”

And yeah… I believed that. Thought I’d be perfectly fine. For about… twelve minutes.

But tell me why I keep lookin’ back like a damn paranoid cartoon character, fully expectin’ Aries to be trailin’ behind me like usual. But every time? Empty. Just random students, backpacks, and somebody yellin’ about a missed assignment like their life depended on it.

Even the seat behind me in class was empty, and for some reason that shit bothered me more than it should’ve. Even with Imani and Britney talkin’ my ear off, and Khalil talkin’ nonsense like usual. Everything felt a little too quiet. Too normal.

“I don’t know,” I said flatly when Khalil kept lookin’ at me. 

He just hummed like he knew I was on some bullshit.

“We should go to the basketball game tonight,” Imani said, way too cheerful for my current situation.

“Yeah… no. Count me out on that one,” I muttered, pressin’ my lips together while my stomach twisted again. “My bed callin’ me real bad right now. I’m ready to flatline for the night.”

Britney’s brows pulled together as she pointed at my hand on my stomach. “You good?”

“Nah, she prolly back outside messin’ with her ex again,” Khalil jumped in immediately, loud and wrong as always. I snapped my head toward him so fast it damn near hurt.

“I’m not,” I snapped, givin’ him the dirtiest look I could manage. “My stomach been buggin’. Maybe I’m hungry.”

Which… lowkey didn’t even sound convincing to me.

Imani and Britney gave me those little “mhmm, sure.” looks, but I ignored it, glancin’ behind me again out of habit. And my lips parted like I was about to say something… but I stopped myself when I realized, once again, nobody was there.

I sucked my teeth, pinchin’ the bridge of my nose as we kept walkin’. It’s been a minute since it was just us like this, no extra shadow glued to my side, no low voice in my ear tellin’ me to “pay attention,” no hand hoverin’ behind my back like I might evaporate if she blinked too long.

But it don’t even feel right. It felt like I left somethin’ at home… except I didn’t.

And I hate that.

Which is crazy, ’cause why the hell do I even care?? why am I even checkin’ for her like that? She ain’t text me. Ain’t called. Ain’t even did the bare minimum like, “you alive?” Not a single message. And I’m over here actin’ like I lost something, turnin’ around every five seconds like I’m hearin’ footsteps that ain’t there.

Sad as fuck.

I rolled my eyes to myself, jaw tightenin’ as I looked forward again. She really do just see me as a job. A loud, annoying, headache of a job at that. She just clocked out and forgot I existed. All that “I’m here” talk just for her to disappear the second she get a day off.

Yeah, okay.

That was some bullshit.

Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder and whipped around. “Aries—” I stopped mid-sentence, my whole face droppin’ when I realized it was not her. It was that same nigga from before. The one who be poppin’ up like a pop-up ad nobody asked for—a whole ass virus if you ask me.

What was his name again… Tyler? Trayvon? Tire pressure?

“It’s Tyriq,” he said, smilin’ like I was supposed to care.

I let out a long, dragged-out hum. “Right. You.” I cleared my throat, grippin’ the front of my shirt like if I squeezed hard enough my stomach would stop actin’ like it’s auditionin’ for a horror movie.

If this fuckass pain don’t go sit down somewhere, I swear—

“I ain’t seen you with that guy,” he went on, rubbin’ the back of his neck like we was cool or sumn. “Y’all broke up?”

Slowly, I turned my head and of course Khalil and Imani were off to the side gigglin’ like this was free entertainment while Britney ain’t look up from her phone not one time.

“Ion got a man?” I said, brows furrowin’.

His whole posture straightened up like I just unlocked a new level for him. “So who was that nigga?”

“Oh—you mean Aries?” I said. “That’s a girl.”

His face twisted up like he just bit into somethin’ sour. “That was a stud?”

I nodded once. “Mhm.”

He blinked, then had the audacity to look offended. “You dating a corny ass stud like that??” he added, and my jaw clenched immediately, my brows pulling together so tight they might’ve fused permanently.

I tilted my head, real slow. “Watch your next words.”

“What? I’m just saying,” he shrugged like he wasn’t seconds away from getting cussed into another dimension. “You just ain’t had the real thing before. Plastic ain’t nothing compared to the real thing.”

I stared at him. Actually stared. Because the confidence? Unwarranted. The audacity? Astronomical.

“Nigga, youn even know me?” I said, voice sharp as hell. “Who the fuck you talking to right now?”

He scoffed like I was the problem, and before I could really get into it with him, Britney pulled me back into her side like she was tryna prevent a public execution.

“Sorry, Tyriq, we got places to be,” she cut in, already over it, but still tryna be nice.

Khalil stepped forward too, wavin’ his hand like he was directin’ traffic. “Keep it pushin’, gang.”

But of course, he ain’t move. “Y’all dating or not?” he pressed, steppin’ closer. “I’m tryna shoot my shot.”

I let out a loud ass huff, my stomach crampin’ again like it had something to say too.

“Yes,” I snapped. “We dating. Been dating for a minute now, actually, so you can cut left??”

I crossed my arms, holdin’ my stomach tighter without even thinkin’.

Yeah… Aries was definitely gonna cuss me out for that one. But she not even here, so what she don’t know won’t—

He sucked his teeth, wavin’ me off like he had options. “That ain’t ever stop a nigga. I’ll catch you around.”

“Don’t,” I muttered, but he already brushed past.

The second he was out of earshot, all three of them turned to me like I just confessed to murder. “Y’all dating!?” they said at the same time.

“No!” I groaned, already walkin’ ahead of them. I felt my stomach tighten again and I winced. Maybe I should grab somethin’ to eat on the way home. I guess I’m takin’ the fuck-ass bus again…

Khalil jogged up beside me, smirkin’ like he knew something I didn’t. “I knew y’all was fuckin’.”

My head snapped toward him. “We not!? I just said that so his bitchass would leave me alone!?”

Imani gave me a look. The kind that said girl, be serious. And Britney gave the kind that said, you lyin’ and I know you lyin’ look. Lips pressed, eyes narrowed just a little.

“Y’all prolly kiss on the low,” Britney added, casual as hell.

I sucked my teeth. “Kiss on the low where?? When? With who??”

Please.

I can’t stand her ass half the time anyway. Especially when she get out the shower and leave the whole floor wet like we livin’ in a damn swamp. Dry your feet. Why the hell am I steppin’ into a puddle in my own house?? Be civilized. The fuck?

Ugh. Livin’ with her be testin’ me sometimes, I swear.

“Fuck I look like?” I shot back, glarin’ at all of them while they snickered like this was the funniest thing they heard all week.

Right as I was about to keep goin’, a sharp pain hit my stomach again and I folded slightly with a huff. “Okay—yeah. I’m goin’ home,” I said, wavin’ them off. “I need food or somethin’. Y’all enjoy the game.”

Imani and Britney pulled me into a tight hug, kissin’ my face like I was about to die or somethin’ dramatic, then let me go. Khalil dapped me up, still lookin’ way too entertained.

I waved them off again and started toward the bus stop, each step feelin’ heavier than the last. By the time I sat down on the bench, I was clutchin’ my stomach for a good five minutes straight, hunched over like I just fought for my life and lost.

I sucked my teeth softly, leanin’ back against the bench with a grimace.

Bein’ outside ain’t feel as bad. Like yeah, I knew Jalen was probably somewhere bein’ annoying and breathin’ wrong, but lately? Things been… calm. Too calm, honestly. Like when your house get quiet and you start thinkin’ somebody broke in, but really it’s just peace and you don’t trust it. 

But I wasn’t about to question it too hard. Peace is peace.

The bus hissed like it had attitude as it pulled up in front of me, doors foldin’ open like, get in or don’t, I got places to be. I paid and went straight to the back, droppin’ into the seat and lettin’ my head fall against the window, my mind doin’ that thing again. Wandering.

And of course… they wandered right to Aries.

I sucked my teeth softly.

Spendin’ time with her and Zaria? As much as I be actin’ like it’s a burden straight from hell, it was… nice. Real nice. Loud, messy, a little chaotic, but it felt full. Like somethin’ was actually happenin’ instead of me just existin’ and spendin’ money for sport.

But it also had me thinkin’ about shit I don’t like thinkin’ about.

Like how different things would’ve been if my own mother was around like that.

Like what that even looks like when it’s done right.

“Don’t start…” I muttered under my breath, clenchin’ my jaw like I could physically fight the thought off.

I shook it off, got off the bus, and instead of headin’ straight home like somebody with bills and sense, I just… wandered. No plan, just poor decision-makin’.

Eventually I stopped at a hotdog stand, grabbed one, and found a bench to sit on. Because clearly my stomach and I are not on the same team today.

I people-watched for a minute. City noise buzzin’, people movin’ like they got somewhere important to be. It felt… weirdly peaceful.

But also off. Like when your music cuts out mid-song and you don’t realize how loud it was till it’s gone. Somethin’ was missin’, and I hated that I knew exactly what it was.

By the time I got back on the bus to head home, I was fully expectin’ the food to settle my stomach.

Yeah, no.

That was a lie straight from hell.

That shit got worse. Way worse. Like my stomach said, “Oh, you thought we was done? Bet.”

Once I made it home, I was movin’ like a GTA character on low health, rushin’ straight to the bathroom. I barely made it before everything came up.

And when I say everything?

I mean everything.

Breakfast, lunch, my dignity, childhood memories, prolly all the cash I owe to my ex.

My knees hit the floor, my hands grippin’ the toilet like it owed me money.

“Fuck…” I breathed out weakly, spittin’ before leanin’ over again and throwin’ up for what felt like the sixth time.

I don’t even know what I ate, but whatever it was? It got personal.

My body felt drained. Weak. Like if someone pushed me, I might just collapse and accept it.

I barely registered the door opening. I didn’t hear footsteps. I just suddenly felt hands gathering my hair, pulling it back from my face. Steady. Gentle.

I blinked, my vision blurry, and there she was. Kneelin’ behind me like she’d been there the whole time.

“What happened, you okay?” she asked, voice low, calm in a way that made everythin’ else feel quieter. Her hand moved to wipe my mouth with something soft, probably a towel I didn’t even see her grab.

“I don’t even know…” I croaked, words barely makin’ it out as my throat burned.

“Here, drink some water.”

She didn’t rush me. Didn’t panic. Just unscrewed a water bottle and tilted the bottle slightly, her other hand steadying my head like I might tip over. I took small sips, the cold hitting my throat like heaven after everything I just went through.

She stood up after a second.

“Aight,” she murmured. “Stay right here real quick.”

As if I was about to go anywhere.

She shrugged off her leather jacket like she was clockin’ into a shift, and I just nodded weakly, slidin’ back against the bathroom wall.

I took another sip, breathin’ slow, tryin’ not to trigger round seven.

She came back quick, movin’ like she been doin’ this her whole life. Medicine in one hand, something else tucked under her arm.

“I got some ginger tea for you after,” she said, already openin’ the box.

I groaned immediately. “That shit nasty…”

“Drink it anyway,” she shot back without missin’ a beat, kneelin’ in front of me again.

“Take this off,” she added, nodding toward my shirt. I made a weak attempt to unbutton it, my fingers movin’ slow like they ain’t gettin’ proper signal.

She watched me struggle for about two seconds before sighing softly. “Is it okay?” she asked.

I hummed, noddin’, too tired to even be difficult.

Her hands moved to the buttons, slow and careful, like she wasn’t just undressin’ me but handlin’ something fragile. She peeled the dirty shirt off gently, makin’ sure I didn’t have to do too much.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she murmured, slidin’ an arm around me to help me stand.

I let out a quiet groan, my body basically saying, girl we are DONE for the day, but I leaned into her anyway.

And for once?

Didn’t even fight it.

Didn’t even think about it.

I just let her hold me up.

“I’m never eating that fuck ass hot dog again…” I grumbled, peelin’ my clothes off like they personally betrayed me. Soon as she stepped out the bathroom, I handled the rest myself, draggin’ my weak ass into the shower.

That shit had me fightin’ for my life.

I let the warm water hit my back while I just stood there, barely even movin’. No thoughts, just near-death experiences courtesy of street meat. After a minute, I washed up quick and threw on a baggy tee and some panties, not carin’ how I looked.

If I die, I die comfortable.

By the time I made it back to my room, Aries came back in not too long after, already holdin’ that damn ginger tea like she knew I was finna argue.

And she ain’t even give me the chance.

“Drink it.”

I cut my eyes at her but still took the cup, sippin’ it like it personally offended me.

Disgusting. 

Helpful, but disgusting…

She set the fan on low, the room coolin’ just enough, and I could feel my body finally startin’ to give up the fight. My eyes got heavy, limbs sinkin’ into the mattress.

“Thank you…” I murmured, my voice quieter than usual.

She just hummed, fingers slidin’ into my hair, slow and gentle like she knew exactly what she was doing.

“I leave you for one day, Londyn…” she said, real quiet.

I let out a weak hum, leanin’ into her touch without even thinkin’ about it.

“I tried to cook…” I mumbled, because yeah… let’s blame it on that and not the random hot dog of doom.

She sighed, her thumb brushin’ against my cheek, and my heart did this stupid little stutter like it forgot how to act.

“Just leave that up to me…” she said.

I opened my eyes, slow, and she was already lookin’ at me. Like she been lookin’.

And somethin’ in my chest tightened up real bad. Because suddenly I felt… stupid. Like real stupid.

Like how the hell I go from handlin’ everything by myself to bein’ laid out over a hot dog and needin’ help just to stand up straight? And here she was, like always, steppin’ in like it was nothing. Like I needed her.

I never needed nobody. Ever. It’s always been me handlin’ my shit, doing what I gotta do.

So why the hell does it feel like the second she around, I forget how to be that person???

Like my independence just packs its bags and sprints out the door the second she walks in.

I reached up, grabbin’ her wrist gently, my eyes draggin’ across her face like I was trying to memorize somethin’ I wasn’t supposed to notice.

And I mean every little detail. Her eyes, her lips, the way her brows sat when she was thinking too hard.

“You ain’t even check in…” I murmured.

She nodded, not even tryna dodge it. “I know. Had a lot to deal with. That’s why I came by when I could.”

I nodded slowly, my eyes gettin’ heavier again, her thumb still brushin’ my skin in slow, quiet motions like she still ain’t realize what it was doin’ to me.

“I’ll check in on you tomorrow, okay?”

Her hand started to move away. And just like that, the warmth disappeared.

And I—I hated it.

Like… actually hated it…

My eyes snapped open the second I felt her shift, standin’ up from the edge of the bed.

Before I could even think about it—my hand shot out, grippin’ her wrist. “Londyn—”

She lost her balance a little, fallin’ back onto the bed with a soft huff, and before my brain could catch up, I was already pullin’ her in, clutchin’ her shirt, grippin’ it tight like she might actually leave if I didn’t.

I squeezed my eyes shut, feelin’ her go still for a second as I pressed into her, burying myself into her space like I had somewhere to be.

Then her arms wrapped around me. Slow and careful. Like she was givin’ me time to change my mind. One arm around my waist, pullin’ me closer, while her other hand came up to cradle the back of my head, holdin’ me there.

“Just… stay here tonight…” I murmured against her shoulder, my voice barely there.

Her grip tightened, her body warm. Steady. And very much real.

I breathed in, her scent settlin’ into my chest, makin’ something in me loosen up without permission. A soft hum slipped out of me as my hand slid up to the back of her neck, my nails grazing lightly against her skin, then drifting into her curls.

She exhaled against me, her face pressing into the crook of my neck like she was getting comfortable there.

And that did something…something weird as fuck.

This whole thing felt dangerous. Because this? This wasn’t supposed to feel like anything.

It was supposed to be annoying. Temporary. Convenient at best.

But instead—It felt… safe.

Being in her arms like this…? comfortable like this…?? With someone who gets on my nerves like it’s her full-time job?

Yeah. Nah. It’s ’cause I’m sick. That’s it. That’s the only explanation.

Delusion. Fever. Temporary insanity.

Because ain’t no way I’m out here holding onto this girl like she mine or something.

…

Right..?