Chapter 49

WARNING: SMUT (continuation) & this chapter is painfully long!!

Lila’s fingers tangled in Rowan’s hair, not guiding, just holding like she needed to touch something real as Rowan’s mouth traced lower, slower, pausing to press open-mouthed kisses along the inside of her thighs. 

Rowan glanced up, her chin resting against Lila’s knee, and the sight of her cheeks flushed, lips parted, eyes dark with want, made Rowan’s pulse stutter. 

“Okay?” she murmured, her breath ghosting over damp skin. Lila nodded, her throat working as she swallowed. “More than,” she breathed, her hips lifting slightly, an unspoken plea.

Rowan let her tongue drag a slow, teasing path, savoring the way Lila tensed, the way her breath hitched, little tells Rowan had memorized over years of stolen glances now laid bare. 

When she finally took Lila fully into her mouth, Lila’s moan fractured into a gasp, her thighs trembling against Rowan’s shoulders. Rowan hummed softly, the vibration drawing another broken sound from Lila’s lips, her fingers tightening reflexively in Rowan’s hair.

The room smelled like them, sweat and salt and something sweetly musky, the air thick with shared breath and whispered praise. Lila’s hips rolled in slow, involuntary circles, her voice cracking around Rowan’s name like it was the only word she remembered. 

Rowan pressed closer, her hands sliding under Lila’s hips to hold her steady, her tongue circling in a rhythm that had Lila arching off the mattress, her back bowing beautifully.

Afterward, Lila pulled Rowan up by the shoulders, her kiss desperate and grateful, her thumbs brushing the dampness from Rowan’s cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered against Rowan’s lips, the words raw and reverent, like she was tasting them for the first time. 

Rowan smiled, her nose brushing Lila’s as she murmured, “I know,” and the quiet certainty of it, the years of unspoken devotion finally given voice made Lila laugh wetly, her arms tightening around Rowan like she’d never let go.

The sheets were twisted beneath them, the room hazy with golden morning light filtering through the blinds. Rowan traced the slope of Lila’s shoulder with her lips, her touch featherlight, as if relearning the landscape of her body without the weight of pretense. 

Lila shivered, her fingers carding through Rowan’s hair, her breath hitching when Rowan murmured, “Tell me what you’re thinking,” against her skin. 

“Just that I’d do this forever,” Lila admitted, her voice rough with sleep and something sweeter.

Rowan’s laughter was soft, her teeth grazing Lila’s collarbone. “We have time,” she murmured, her palm sliding over Lila’s ribs, her fingertips brushing the flutter of her heartbeat. Lila turned her face into Rowan’s hair, breathing her in laundry soap and sweat and something unmistakably hers. 

“Yeah,” she agreed, her voice thick with promise. “We do.” Outside, the world was waking up, but here, tangled in sheets and each other, time felt infinite, their bodies pressed close like a secret kept too long.

The bed creaked as Lila shifted, rolling Rowan beneath her with a lazy grin, her knee slotting between Rowan’s thighs. “Your turn,” she whispered, her lips brushing Rowan’s earlobe, her hands already mapping familiar territory with newfound ownership. 

Rowan arched into her, her breath catching, her fingers tightening in the sheets, not to pull away, but to anchor herself to this moment, to the weight of Lila’s body and the certainty of her touch. “I love you,” she gasped, the words spilling out like a reflex, like breathing, and Lila kissed her deeply, swallowing each syllable like she could keep them safe inside her ribs.

Outside, the wind rustled the curtains, carrying the distant hum of a passing car, but the sound felt far away, irrelevant. Lila’s mouth trailed lower, her teeth scraping gently over Rowan’s hipbone, her tongue soothing the sting, a rhythm they’d fallen into without thinking, as instinctive as passing a ball between them during practice. Rowan’s hands found Lila’s hair, her fingers trembling slightly, her breath coming in uneven hitches. 

“Tell me,” Lila murmured against her skin, her voice rough with want, “tell me what you need.” 

Rowan swallowed hard, her hips lifting slightly, her voice cracking on a single word: “You.”

The sheets were warm beneath them, the scent of sweat and sex clinging to the fabric, mingling with the faint lavender from Rowan’s detergent. Lila’s touch was deliberate, unhurried, her fingers tracing the inside of Rowan’s thigh like she was memorizing the way her muscles tensed, the way her breath hitched. 

Rowan’s back arched, her toes curling, her vision blurring at the edges, not just from pleasure, but from the overwhelming realization that this was real, that Lila was here, that they’d crossed some invisible line and there was no going back. 

“Look at me,” Lila whispered, and Rowan did, her eyes meeting Lila’s in the hazy morning light, their gazes locked as Lila’s thumb pressed just there, drawing a ragged gasp from Rowan’s lips.

After, they lay tangled in the wreckage of sheets, their limbs intertwined, their breathing slowly syncing. Lila pressed a kiss to Rowan’s shoulder, her lips lingering, her exhale warm against damp skin. 

“I could get used to this,” she murmured, her voice thick with contentment, her fingers tracing idle circles along Rowan’s ribs. 

Rowan turned her face into Lila’s hair, breathing her in shampoo and sweat and something uniquely hers and smiled against her temple. “Yeah,” she agreed softly, her heart full, her body humming with the aftershocks of pleasure. “Me too.”

Outside, dawn spilled pink and gold across the windowsill, painting the walls in shifting hues of warmth and light. Lila shifted slightly, her leg sliding between Rowan’s, her toes brushing Rowan’s ankle, a small, unconscious gesture that made Rowan’s chest tighten. 

“I never want to get up,” Rowan admitted, her voice muffled against Lila’s shoulder, her fingers tightening briefly around Lila’s wrist. Lila chuckled, her breath stirring Rowan’s hair. 

“Then don’t,” she murmured, her lips brushing Rowan’s forehead. “We have nowhere else to be.”

The room smelled like sleep and skin, the sheets tangled around their waists, the pillows dented and warm beneath their heads. Rowan lifted her gaze to Lila’s face, studying the freckles scattered across her nose, the faint crease between her brows, the way her lashes cast delicate shadows on her cheeks, every detail committed to memory years ago, now given permission to linger. 

“What?” Lila murmured, her lips quirking, her thumb brushing Rowan’s hipbone. Rowan shook her head slightly, her throat tight. 

“Just looking,” she whispered, her fingertips tracing the curve of Lila’s jaw. “Just looking.”

A breeze slipped through the cracked window, carrying the scent of cut grass and distant rain, the promise of a new day hovering on the horizon. 

Lila’s fingers trailed down Rowan’s arm, slow and reverent, her touch featherlight but deliberate like she was relearning her, like she couldn’t get enough. Rowan closed her eyes, savoring the sensation, the warmth, the quiet certainty of Lila’s body pressed against hers. 

“Stay,” she murmured, half-asleep, her fingers tightening around Lila’s. 

Lila’s lips brushed her temple, her whisper barely audible: “Always.”

Morning had fully broken now, golden and honeyed, dripping between the blinds and pooling on the rumpled sheets. 

Rowan traced idle patterns across Lila’s collarbone, her fingertips skimming over the faint freckles there, each one a fleeting constellation she’d never been allowed to map before. Lila shivered slightly, her breath hitching, her lashes fluttering against Rowan’s cheek. 

“You’re staring again,” she murmured, her voice rough with sleep and something softer. 

Rowan smiled against her skin, pressing a kiss to the hollow of her throat. “Can’t help it,” she admitted. “Not when you look like that.”

The world outside was awake, cars passing, birds singing, the distant hum of a lawnmower but here, tangled in sheets and each other, time felt suspended, infinite. 

Lila’s fingers tangled in Rowan’s hair, tugging her up just enough to kiss her, slow, unhurried, like they had all the time in the world. Rowan melted into it, her body humming with the memory of last night, the promise of this morning, the certainty of everything still to come. “I love you,” she whispered against Lila’s lips, the words tasting like sunlight, like home. 

Lila’s smile was small, private, her thumb brushing Rowan’s cheekbone. “I love you too,” she breathed, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Outside, the wind shifted, rustling the curtains, carrying with it the faint scent of coffee from somewhere down the street. 

Rowan turned her face into Lila’s palm, pressing a kiss to the calloused skin there, soccer scars, long healed but never forgotten. Lila’s fingers curled around hers, her grip firm but gentle, anchoring her to this moment, to this quiet, golden now. 

“Tell me something,” Rowan murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Lila tilted her head, her gaze steady, her lips curved into a knowing smile. “Anything,” she replied, soft and sure, like she already knew the answer.

The sheets were warm beneath them, the scent of their bodies mingling with the crisp morning air. 

Rowan traced the curve of Lila’s ear with her fingertip, her touch featherlight, reverent as if she was relearning her in this new light, this new context. Lila shivered, her breath catching, her lashes fluttering against Rowan’s cheek. 

“Everything feels different now,” Rowan admitted, her voice thick with wonder. 

Lila hummed in agreement, her thumb brushing Rowan’s wrist where her pulse fluttered, rapid and insistent. “Not everything,” she murmured. “Just—better.”

A car door slammed somewhere outside, the sound muffled by distance, by the quiet cocoon they’d wrapped themselves in. 

Rowan shifted slightly, her knee brushing Lila’s thigh, her toes curling against the sheets. Lila’s fingers trailed down Rowan’s spine, slow and deliberate, mapping the dips and curves as if she was memorizing them for later. Rowan sighed, her body melting into the touch, her mind blissfully empty of everything but this—this moment, this warmth, this overwhelming sense of rightness. 

“I don’t want to move,” she whispered, her lips brushing Lila’s shoulder. Lila laughed softly, her breath warm against Rowan’s temple. 

“Then don’t,” she murmured, her arms tightening around her, pulling her closer still.

The sunlight crept higher, painting golden stripes across the bed, the warmth seeping into their skin. Lila’s fingers tangled in Rowan’s hair, tugging gently, guiding her face up to meet hers. Rowan’s breath hitched at the look in Lila’s eyes, dark, tender, utterly unguarded as if she was seeing her for the first time all over again. 

“Hi,” Lila murmured, her voice rough with sleep and something sweeter. 

Rowan smiled, her heart swelling in her chest, her fingers tightening around Lila’s wrist. “Hi,” she echoed, soft and awed, like she couldn’t quite believe her luck.