Chapter 23

Lila woke up with the strange, disorienting feeling that something had gone right.

It took her a second to place it. The quiet of her room felt different, less hollow, less tight. Her phone lay face-up on her nightstand, no missed notifications, no anxiety buzzing beneath her skin. Just stillness. The good kind. The kind that didn’t feel like waiting.

She stretched, staring at the ceiling, and Rowan’s voice surfaced uninvited.

I choose you.

Not dramatic. Not desperate. Just honest.

Lila pressed her lips together, smiling into the quiet before she could stop herself.

At school, everything felt sharper, like the saturation had been turned up half a notch. The lockers were louder, the air cooler, the sunlight slanting through the windows warmer somehow. People still glanced her way; Lila wasn’t naïve enough to think that part had vanished, but it didn’t stick to her like it usually did.

She wasn’t bracing anymore.

She spotted Rowan by the trophy case before first period, laughing quietly with one of her teammates. The sound made Lila pause. Rowan didn’t laugh often, not like that. It was unguarded, brief, real. When Rowan turned and saw her, the laughter faded, but the softness didn’t.

Rowan hesitated, like she wasn’t sure which version of herself she was allowed to be now.

Lila solved it for her by walking over.

“Morning,” Lila said.

Rowan’s shoulders eased instantly. “Hey.”

There it was again. That grounding warmth. Rowan didn’t move away. Didn’t pretend they were strangers or rush into something they weren’t ready to claim publicly. She just… stayed.

They walked to class together, matching pace without thinking about it. Rowan carried herself differently today. Still confident, still controlled, but no longer closed off. Like she wasn’t guarding every word for impact.

At Lila’s classroom door, Rowan lingered.

“I, um,” Rowan started, then stopped, clearly annoyed with herself. “I was thinking—after school, maybe we could… hang out? No crowd. No pressure.”

Lila smiled. “I’d like that.”

Rowan smiled back, a little crooked. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Rowan exhaled like she’d been holding her breath all morning.

The day passed in a series of small, almost moments. Rowan catching Lila’s eye across the cafeteria and holding the look instead of glancing away. Lila sitting on the bleachers during soccer practice, Rowan glancing up every few minutes like she needed to confirm she was still there.

After practice, Rowan jogged over, hair damp, cheeks flushed. “You bored?”

“Not even a little,” Lila said.

Rowan grinned. “Good.”

They ended up driving nowhere in particular, windows down, music low. It wasn’t a date in the way movies made dates look. No big gestures. No lines. Just shared space.

They parked near the edge of town, overlooking the field where people sometimes came to watch sunsets when they didn’t want to be found.

Rowan sat on the hood of her car, legs dangling. Lila joined her, close but not touching at first.

“I keep expecting something to go wrong,” Rowan admitted quietly.

Lila tilted her head. “And?”

“And it hasn’t,” Rowan said. “Which somehow makes me more nervous.”

Lila laughed softly. “You don’t trust calm, do you?”

Rowan shook her head. “Not really.”

Lila bumped her shoulder gently. “You can learn.”

Rowan glanced at her. “You volunteering to teach me?”

“Maybe,” Lila said. “If you’re patient.”

Rowan smiled, then, without thinking she reaches out and brushes a stray piece of hair behind Lila’s ear. The gesture froze them both.

“Sorry,” Rowan said quickly. “I just—”

“It’s okay,” Lila said, heart thudding. “I didn’t mind.”

Rowan’s hand lingered for half a second longer before dropping back to her side.

They sat in silence again, watching the sky bleed into pink and gold. Lila felt steady. Chosen. Not in a loud way but in a way that settled into her bones.

Rowan spoke again, softer. “You know, when I think about the future, it usually feels like a checklist. Goals. Timelines. Expectations.”

“And now?” Lila asked.

“And now,” Rowan said, glancing at her, “it feels like a question I actually want to answer.”

Lila smiled. “That’s a big deal for you.”

Rowan laughed under her breath. “You have no idea.”

The air cooled as the sun dipped lower. Lila hugged her knees, shivering slightly.

Rowan noticed immediately. She shrugged out of her hoodie and handed it over without comment. “Here.”

Lila slipped it on, warmth pooling instantly. It smelled like Rowan: clean, faintly grassy, familiar already.

“Thanks,” Lila said.

Rowan watched her with a softness she didn’t bother hiding. “You look… really cute.”

Lila raised an eyebrow. “Cute?”

Rowan blinked. “I—” She froze. “I didn’t mean— I mean, I did mean it, just—”

Lila laughed, full and warm. “Rowan.”

Rowan rubbed the back of her neck, embarrassed. “I’m not great at this part.”

“What part?”

“Saying what I feel without overthinking it,” Rowan admitted. She paused, then added quietly, “Or letting myself be soft.”

Lila leaned her head against Rowan’s shoulder. “You’re doing fine.”

Rowan stiffened for half a second, then relaxed into it, resting her cheek lightly against Lila’s hair.

“Hey,” Rowan murmured, almost absentmindedly. “You okay, sweetheart—”

She stopped.

Pulled back.

“Oh my god,” Rowan said, mortified. “I did not mean to say that.”

Lila looked up at her, eyes wide. Then she smiled. Slow, warm, unmistakably pleased. “You can say it again,” she said gently.

Rowan swallowed, cheeks pink. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Rowan hesitated, then smiled back, softer this time. 

Lila’s heart fluttered, light and certain.

They stayed there until the stars came out, talking about nothing and everything, music they loved, moments that shaped them, fears they didn’t usually admit out loud. Rowan listened more than she spoke. Lila noticed that too.

When Rowan finally drove her home, neither of them rushed the goodbye. They stood on the sidewalk, close enough that Lila could feel Rowan’s warmth through the hoodie.

“This feels different,” Rowan said quietly.

“It is,” Lila replied.

Rowan nodded. “I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Then don’t disappear,” Lila said. “Stay.”

Rowan smiled, sure this time. “I’m staying.”

And as Lila walked inside, hoodie sleeves too long, heart full in a way that didn’t scare her—

She believed her.