Chapter 4

I laid on top of her and she wrapped her arms and legs around me.

“I love you I love you I love you,” Jess groaned into my shoulder.

I smoothed the hair out of her face and kissed her, “I love you too.”

Jess suddenly pumped her legs up and down, laughing.

“What are you doing?” I looked at her, immensely amused by her antics.

She held my face in her hands, “I love having sex with you.” Which set off another peal of laughter.

“I told you I was really good at hotel sex!” I boasted.

“Cocky, aren’t we?” I reached for her, and my fingers found her primed for me.

Alex shook her head, “On the contrary, I am quite cockless.”

Before I could admonish her for the terrible joke, she shifted and straddled my stomach.

Alex lowered herself onto my fingers and started rolling her hips back and forth.

“Holy shit,” I blurted out.

Her entire upper body was a visual orgy of rippling muscles. Her eyes were shut, her mouth slightly opened as she moved. I have the hottest girlfriend in the world.

Alex kept grinding, and I just held on for dear life, drinking in the sight of her as she rode my fingers. When my thumb joined in the fun and flicked across her clit, Alex’s eyes flew open. She held my gaze as she chased the orgasm, collapsing onto me as she came.

“Holy shit,” I said again.

“I said, ‘holy shit,'”

“Did I hurt you?” Alex lifted her head.

I shook my head, “I have such a crush on you.”

I buried my fingers in her hair. “Can we stay in here for the rest of the weekend?”

Alex grinned, “Yes, we can. Throw away the phones.”

I fished around for mine and made to throw it across the room when I noticed the time.

“Oh no — Alex — look at the time — aren’t we supposed to meet your cousin for dinner?”

Alex sprung off the bed. “Bugger! Oh wait, no, we can still manage to get there respectably late if we get going right now.”

My cousin Jeremy and I were kindred spirits in many ways, but two stick out: neither one of us had any interest in moving back to Asia with the rest of our family, and neither one of us felt any compunction flouting our family’s narrow-minded standards for selecting “appropriate” spouses. Dinner with him was the first time — outside of my siblings — that Jess has had the opportunity to spend time with someone from my family in person.

My parents’ stance on the whole gay thing was to tacitly acknowledge it, but they made it perfectly clear they didn’t want anyone else to know. Jess had a hard time understanding this, until Jeremy told her his parents were having a hard time accepting Marissa, his American fiancée. “It’s less about you being a woman and more about you not being Chinese,” Jeremy quipped.

“It’s both,” I said, “but let’s talk about something else.”

“We’ll just have to make our own family,” Jeremy stated optimistically.

“Stay away from that lot, for as long as you can,” Marissa said, “Jeremy and I decided to put on a major charm offensive the last time we flew over… Total utter disaster.”

Jeremy looked devastated.

“Oh Jer, it wasn’t you,” Marissa stroked his cheek lovingly, “I couldn’t do anything right: I was holding the chopsticks wrong; I made too little eye contact and was too shy; I made too much eye contact and was too American; my clothes were too risqué; my skirt was too frumpy; I didn’t get their jokes…”

I could imagine exactly how each of those things unfolded. There was one thing my family was really good at: closing ranks and making an outsider feel like total crap.

“But Jeremy was a prince,” Marissa kissed him gently, “And once I realised that I wasn’t marrying any of them, it got easier to handle. Especially since he and I started playing Bingo in our heads for all the horrible things they could say or do.”

“And what did the winner get?” Jess asked.

Marissa and Jeremy looked at each other and blushed at whatever memory that question provoked.

“OH! Ha!” Jess and I laughed, “Pray, tell!”

“Ok! New topic of conversation!” Jeremy coughed, “baseball, gardening… anything!”

“I’ll say this: Jess, we welcome you to the family. You can call us any time to vent if you ever get ambushed by a wayward Mak.” Marissa said warmly.

After dinner, Jess and I walked hand in hand, headed in the general direction of the hotel.

“Alex, I’m sorry your parents aren’t more supportive.” Jess finally said.

I squeezed her hand, “I’m sorry they are missing out on what a great person you are and how happy you make me. But honestly, I have accepted that they won’t change. It’s taken a while to accept. I’m not going to push them. I miss them and it breaks my heart, but I have to live my life my way. I can’t make them happy and be happy myself.”

“The Wainwrights need to step it up then — you know they love you already — and we’ll see them when you come back to the UK with me that last week of August.” Jess leaned in closer as we walked, and inserted her hand into the back pocket of my jeans.

“Careful where you put your hand, Jess, I won’t be responsible for my actions if you keep manhandling me like this…” I teased, profoundly happy that she was groping me.

“I’ll put my hand where I please. And stop changing the subject,” Jess said, squeezing my butt cheek brazenly.

“I’m bored with talking about my family,” I draped my arm across her shoulder and dropped my hand down so I could brush my fingers against her breast, feeling her nipple instantly harden with my touch.

“Time to get a taxi,” Jess said as she exhaled loudly, “or we’ll both be arrested for gross indecency…”

Alex and I woke up late on Saturday after an enormously satisfying night.

We languished in bed for most of the morning, and had a lazy lunch before Alex went down to the gym for a work out. I decided to use the time to finish up some emails and cull my portfolio of photographs from my time in the US.

Alex sauntered back into the room an hour later, and headed into the shower. I decided to join her, stepping in just as she was rinsing her hair out. I spooned her from behind and bit her gently on her shoulder blade.

“I’m going to have to report this as spousal abuse if you keep biting me,” Alex threatened jokingly.

I gently passed my thumb over the indentation of my teeth in her skin, “Spousal abuse? Are you proposing to me?”

Alex turned around, “Now there’s an interesting concept… You know we can get married in New York now, right?”

“Oh my god, I wasn’t serious.” My heart was thumping, “I was just giving you a hard time. I don’t want to get married.”

“I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to. I just…” I was screwing it up.

“How about this,” Alex said gently, “If — and I am emphasizing the ‘if’ — we want to get married, you get to pop the question, ok?”

I kissed her as my reply, relieved at how artfully she managed my moment of panic.

“I’m sorry that came out the way it did… I want to be with you Alex.”

Alex turned off the shower, “Good. Then I think I have something that you’d like.”

Curious, I followed her, drying off quickly as Alex wrapped a towel around her waist. She started rummaging in her suitcase. The just-showered Alex with a towel around her waist was very, very, very appealing.

“I’ve been carrying this around just in case such an opportunity presented itself.” Alex took out a small black bag and withdrew two necklaces. She handed me one.

It was a simple sliver chain, with a small round medallion attached. My initials were engraved on one side, and hers was on the other side.

“Alex, I love this. When did you get them?” I put mine on immediately.

“I had them made a month ago. I wanted us to have something when September rolled around. Not a proposal, but appropriate for now, yes?” Alex clasped hers on.

“Come here,” I whispered, “Let me show you just how much I love this.”

Jess reeled me in by my towel and pushed me onto the bed. I loved being with this beautiful woman who knew how to grab me and take charge.

“This is becoming quite a habit with you…” I teased as she untucked the towel and lowered her lips to my sex.

“No… ah! foreplay, Jessica? Ah!” The sight of Jess between my legs was almost enough to set me off.

“Foreplay was you in a towel,” Jess grinned and pushed my thighs open, her tongue running expertly along my folds. I felt her fingers enter me. I tightened around her, feeling every stroke. Note to self: parade around in a towel more often.

Jess suddenly slowed down, holding off my climax.

“Please Jess, I’m so close,” I groaned, pressing my hips against her, straining for her to release me.

“Do you have any idea how hot you look right now?” Jess bit her lower lip as her eyes raked my body up and down. Her fingers were casually slipping in and out of me.

“No! I mean, Yes! Oh god, Jess…”

The tip of her tongue glanced off my clit. She had me vibrating at some insane frequency and I tried to say ‘Don’t make me wait,’ but it came out as “Dowmewaaaaaaaahhhhh!”

“Sorry, honey, what?” Jess did that thing with her tongue again.

“Don’t…. don’t….”

“Don’t do this? You want me to stop doing this?” Jess’s tongue was setting me on fire.

“DON’T MAKE ME WAIT!”

I saw her smile as she finally obliged, pushing deeper and faster into me. Her tongue lashed my clit like wave after powerful wave. And then she slayed me with the climax I begged for. I was floating. And sinking. All at once. The orgasm whooshed through me and I felt my legs flop down numbly, muscles spent.

“Oh my god, Alex, you are so wet,” Jess’s tongue now gently caressing me.

Eventually, Jess clambered up, her still damp hair leaving a trail of cool air on my body. “Delicious,” she exclaimed.

I couldn’t find the words to respond. She’d fucked them right out of me.

I laughed when I saw the state of her face.

I swept my fingers across her lips and grinned, “You were down there for a while!”

She took my fingers and sucked on them.

“Clearly I should have given you the necklace the moment it arrived,” I joked. I wrapped my arms and legs around her.

“Do you think we are moving too quickly?” Jess asked quietly as she fingered the small medallion.

“Maybe,” I said with mock concern, “so maybe we should stop spending time together and having all this great sex…”

Jess opened her mouth to protest.

“I’m just KIDDING, Jess,” I laughed, “What’s really going on? One moment you’re here with me, the next you look like you’re about to have a heart attack.”

Jess was quiet for a moment.

She sat up, wrapped my towel around her, and said, “Alex, there’s something I have to tell you. You know I mentioned James? How we were engaged? And then it didn’t work out?”

My heart was in my mouth, but I nodded and waited for her to continue.

“It didn’t work out because two months before the wedding, he called it off. Never really got a clear reason. He just left. Poof. Gone.”

Jess looked out into the distance.

“It was devastating — less because he left, but because I didn’t see it coming. I lost my bearings for a while, and vowed to never get hurt like that again. I’m still a little haunted by it — I….”

I reached out and held her hand. “I’m so sorry that happened — that must have been… Jess — I don’t know what to say.”

Jess’s eyes darkened a little, “I didn’t want to have that kind of a shock again. I dated here and there, but nothing serious. Until you.”

I pulled her towards me and just held her.

“Then we’ll take it one step at a time,” I whispered, “and I’m definitely not going anywhere. Unless you want me to.”

Jess nodded, “I am not going anywhere either. I just got spooked all of a sudden… I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologise. Thank you for telling me. I wish I could have been there for you when you were going through that. Instead, if I am getting the timing right, I was bombarding you with inane tales of running away from a campus police squad car for streaking across the academic lawn. I wish I’d known.”

Jess smiled wryly, “Your missives were a welcomed distraction. I promise you that.”

“If it’s distractions you want, I can definitely deliver. We can get back to the most important of activities. You know, kissing and stuff.” I landed soft kisses on her mouth again and again. She kissed me back every time. Our tongues lightly brushed against each other as our breaths deepened and warmed our skin.

“I have such a crush on you,” Jess said, looking in to my eyes when we eventually broke apart.

“I will never get tired of hearing that,” I grinned, “kiss me some more.”

We locked lips gloriously.

My phone started buzzing.

“Your phone sounds like a dying farm animal.” Jess protested as I reached for it.

“Holy shit, we’re late. Again! That was my alarm for the reception downstairs.”

“It’s 6 already? How did that happen?”

“Epic time management problems… but if we are already late… we might as well…” I reached for her again.

She stopped my hand’s advance. “Good try, but no. We need to get dressed.”

Telling her exactly how it ended with James lifted a huge weight off me; I had been worried about not having told her before — but it was still a hard thing to talk about.

I thought James and I had been happy, that we had been on the same page in terms of what we wanted. His leaving me laid bare how wrong my perceptions were. It was such a dark time; I remember spending that summer holed up in my room at my parents’ place, not wanting to see anyone.

My fear — grounded in nothing but vapours of the past — was that history would repeat itself and all this with Alex would turn out to be something other than what it appeared to be. Truthfully, the thought of committing to Alex made my heart sing. She made me feel so safe. If anything, it was me figuring out how to trust in that amidst the panic.