Chapter 3

NISHA

After we changed, the three of us headed downstairs together. I was pretty shook up, but Carter and Elise clearly were suffering. We came to Carter's car first and both Elise and I gave him a hug.

"Go home to your wife and let her take over for our hug," I whispered to him.

"Uh, no wife. We split after my girl died. It's pretty common, you know, for couples to split after the death of a child."

"Well, we'll give you an extra hug and know we'll be thinking about you tonight," said Elise.

"Thanks. Say, you two are the best elves I've ever been with. Thank you."

"I'd say you're the best Santa I've ever worked with," I joked, "But seeing as you're the only one, that's a pretty low bar."

That brought a chuckle to Carter's face, he promised things would be better the next time we got together in two days and we parted in a slightly better frame of mind.

Elise and I walked out to our cars, but before we split, she asked if we could talk. "Just in your car would be fine," she said.

Once I cleared off the crap from the shotgun seat, she hopped in and closed the door behind her while I walked over to my side. "What's up?" I asked, knowing full well her answer.

"I need to decompress, that's all," Elise said, "Uh, is that something you might see a lot of when you finish college?"

"Depends. Depends on what area I end up in. If I'm doing research, well, probably not. We'll have to see."

"I don't know how those nurses do it, watching that every single day."

"It's a calling. And there are good times, too, I'm sure. They see the victories which must keep 'em going."

Elise sighed, "I'm glad all I do is pull wire and install fixtures."

"I'm sure you have your bad days, too."

"Of course, but I've never had anyone ever look at me like little Taylor did when I tell them we won't be able to turn on the power for another three days."

"No, I guess you're right. Say, another drink?" I asked.

"No," Elise answered, "Not tonight. I didn't sleep well and I don't need booze to screw up my normal sleep."

"Then how about you come over and we can watch some sappy movie or something, you know, to take our minds off all this?"

Elise looked at me from the corner of her eye. I could almost hear the gears working in her brain as she thought about the invite. Slowly, she nodded her head before asking about the deets. Once I told her my address and when to show up, she gave me a nice smile, the biggest of the day, and promised to show up.

—–

ELISE

I almost said 'no' to her invite, I mean, what would her parents think about me, an electrician, visiting? I got the idea they were pretty high-powered and smart, since they had met in college and Nisha was also in college. But I was still pretty shook up over Taylor. I had never experienced anything remotely like her situation. It hurt, plain and simple, and I figured Nisha might help me come to grips with the whole thing.

I grabbed a small veggie pizza on the way back to my apartment and relaxed while eating it and watching the local news. Once I brushed my teeth, I put on a nicer blouse and some matching slacks, dabbed on a little makeup and did the lipstick thing. I normally don't dress up like that but I figured I'd better emphasize the feminine in me and maybe they wouldn't look down at my career too much.

Nisha invited me in with a softly spoken, "Wow, you look nice." Once I was inside, she led me to the family room where her parents were.

"Dad. Maa. This is Elise, my sister elf."

"Nice meeting you, Elise," her mother said while her dad smiled and nodded his head.

"Nice meeting you."

"Nisha said it was a rough day for you two."

"Yeah, tough seeing sweet little kids fighting for their lives."

"But you two are helping them, no?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Her dad spoke up with the question I'd been fearing, "So, Elise, what do you do for a living? Still in school?"

"No, Sir, I'm working full time except during the holidays. I'm a, uh, I'm an electrician?" Damn it, I hate it when I am so unsure of myself that I answer with what sounds like an unsure question.

"An electrician? Huh. Interesting. How did you get into that?"

"Well, Sir, I wasn't the best or smartest kid in school and once I graduated, I decided I should do something with my hands. I did the trade school thing, which included a lot more bookwork than I expected, and an apprenticeship, and now I'm a journeywoman."

"Very good. You know, I've heard lately that the trades are in high demand and doing quite well."

"Yes, Sir, we're busy pretty much anytime but near the holidays."

"Well, welcome to our home, Elise," said her mother, "Feel free to grab something to eat or drink."

"Thank you, but I'm good."

"Maa, we're going to watch something on the tube out here in the living room, OK?"

"Of course, Meri Jaan, feel free."

Nisha led me back into the living room, where we sat on a small sofa in front of their TV.

"Any particular show you want to watch?" Nisha asked.

"No. Why don't you find the stupidest holiday romance you can find and we can laugh our asses off."

"Sounds good."

Once the TV was on, I whispered to her, "What is Meri Jaan?

"Oh, it's what some Indians call their kids. It means something like 'my love' or 'sweetheart,' though not in a romantic sense."

"Sounds almost like Mary Jane, you know, dope. Maybe I should call you 'Dopey'."

"Don't you dare," Nisha laughed, as she playfully slapped my arm.

"Hit me again and I'll tell your daddy," I pouted like a little kid.

"Call me Dopey again and I'll really hit you," she laughed. "So, anyway, let's pick a movie."

Nisha found one that was a lulu. It featured a young woman who had left her little village to conquer the world, but an evil boss seduced her and then fired her right before Thanksgiving. With her tail between her legs, she had to return to her home, where her male nemesis from high school was doing some repairs. The love/hate thing was obvious from the beginning and it was clear they'd get together in the end. The sets were so cheesy, the snow was fake, the little kids were too adorable…you get the idea.

We laughed until our sides ached as the two eventually came together for their first kiss at the outdoor concert (who has an outdoor concert in the winter in Maine, anyway?) and the angels sang their syrupy little songs.

What I hadn't realized during the movie were two important things: her parents had gone to bed and my hand somehow ended up together with hers on her lap.

—–

NISHA

At the time, I didn't think anything of it. During one unimportant scene, Elise stretched herself a little and when she settled back down, she sank closer to me on the soft sofa cushions and it was more comfortable for her to run her arm inside of mine. And our hands, well, we ended up holding hands.

It didn't start out as anything more than a comfort thing but as we sat there, I realized Elise's hand felt good in mine. And I guess she felt it, too, for her thumb lightly and tentatively began to rub the back of my hand. If my parents had seen us, I'm sure they would have had questions, but they had already retired for the evening, so I lightly returned the gentle strokes.

Nothing else happened while we were watching the last fifteen minutes or so of the movie, but when the credits began to roll, (Big surprise, the heroine and her nemesis got together in the end) I felt her head lean up against my arm. My mind was racing. Was this a come-on? Was she telling me something? Or was this just two female friends being close?

Once the movie shut off, the room darkened with only a hallway light giving any illumination. We sat quietly, not saying a word, holding hands and lightly rubbing each other's with our thumbs. If this had been a guy, I'm sure we would have been rounding first base by then, but with Elise, there was no urgency, no pressure.

"Nisha?" she asked softly after a few minutes had passed.

"Umm?"

"Does this feel good to you?"

I nodded, almost too afraid to say anything.

"Me, too."

Another several minutes went by when Elise cleared her throat. "Have you ever…?"

I shook my head.

"Me, neither."

Another pause, and Elise whispered, "I guess I should be going."

"You don't have to."

"I think I better."

I didn't want her to go. I wanted her to stay right there next to me, sharing those little touches, but I was afraid to speak up. I only nodded yes and stared ahead.

There was movement next to me as she extricated her arm from under mine and before I knew it, her face was right in front of mine and her questioning eyes peered deeply into mine. There was nothing I wanted to do but to close my eyes and thrust my lips towards her.

Have you ever had a kiss that simply blew you away? Not a deep, tongue-twirling and probing kiss but a simple, light touching of lips that shook you to your core? A kiss that carried so much promise? A kiss that made you want to drop all common sense? A kiss that made you change your very identity?

Those ten seconds of Elise kissing me did all of that, and much, much more.

—–

ELISE

I don't know why I did it. Honestly, I don't know why. But I did and as my lips touched hers, I knew something fundamentally had changed in me, about me.

I had never been with a woman or a girl and I had never really wanted to be. I never paid attention to any vague thoughts along those lines, mainly because I didn't want to be the 'lezzie 'lectrician' that some of my co-workers had already accused me of being.

But that kiss, that kiss did it. I pulled back and stared at her until her eyes opened. I looked deep into her, deep into her soul, probing, seeking any affirmation it meant as much to her as it did to me. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light from the hallway and a tiny grin creased her lips.

I gave her a little hug and whispered in her ear, "See you in two days. Sweet dreams."

Nisha's hands pulled gently at me, but I broke free, stood and walked to the door. "Night," I whispered as I shut her door.

All the way home, my mind was racing. I had kissed a girl! I had kissed a girl I liked. I liked kissing Nisha. And I wanted to do it again!

Once I was at my apartment, well, that's when the doubts and worries began. She seemed to like it, but did she really? Maybe she was so surprised that she just went along with it. She hadn't pulled me back for seconds…oh wait, yes, she had, at least her hands held me for a few seconds while I was getting up.

And the whole identity thing rose up in my mind. I had never even thought about my identity, I was just me, Elise, electrician, occasional girlfriend of some guy. While I find a female can be attractive, I had never consciously believed myself to be a lesbian or actively pursued a woman. And here I found myself wanting a particular woman. I wanted to take her clothes off and tease her 'til she begged for release. I wanted to get down and dirty with her. I wanted to make love with Nisha. But that would mean I was a lesbian, or at least bi. Or, as I had thought before, maybe I wasn't so much of a lesbian as I was a Nishian.

The next day, I lounged around my apartment doing almost nothing. Oh, I picked up a little, ran to the store and cleaned the shower stall, but most of my time was spent thinking of Nisha, dreaming of Nisha. I wanted to call or text her, but something told me not to. I know I needed a little time to process things and I'm sure she did too. So, I left her alone and waited with bated breath how things would be back at the hospital.

We met the following day in the nurses' lounge while we were getting our costumes on. Nisha looked a little reserved, shy almost, and I have to admit, I was a little weirded out myself. Our conversation was limited and dealt only with the work for the day. We were at a general ward where there were mostly kids with a few young adults in some of the rooms. The medical conditions were varied and not too serious. Most of the patients were expected to be discharged within a few days, so we didn't expect to run into another Taylor.

Carter was in pretty good spirits, but he picked up on the unusual mood in the room.

"You girls OK?"

Nisha nodded yes while I said, "Sure." I'm not certain that he bought our responses, but we didn't have time to hash things out; we had work to do.

Things were fairly uneventful, all things considered. The kids were uniformly awed that Santa had come by to see them and we had a good time with them and their parents. Fortunately, there were no weird dads to deal with, either.

We did have one fun visit with a guy who was probably around Nisha's age. He had injured himself climbing some ice falls at the nearby state park and it took quite a while to get him rescued. He was hypothermic when he arrived, but once he warmed up, the real issue was trying to save a few of his toes from frostbite. Otherwise, he was as healthy as could be. Even though he clearly didn't believe in Santa, we visited him like we did everyone else on the ward.

It was Nisha's turn to be with the patient with Santa so I held back and talked to his mother who was visiting her son. He took a real shine to Nisha and started flirting right away. Telling her he was the real Santa, he tried to get her to sit on his lap, but when he asked for her phone number, she looked at him with a small smile and replied, "I'm in a relationship, thank you." I knew she wasn't seeing anyone and figured it was a simple little fib to get him to back off, but as she exited the room, she looked right at me and gave me a tiny wink.

I was so surprised that I barely made any sense when we visited the next boy, who was finishing his antibiotic therapy for a kidney infection. He was planning on leaving the hospital shortly after we were there, so his parents were more concerned about his discharge paperwork than about his time with Santa. I stumbled through the visit, Carter covered for me nicely and we made it out of there without too much difficulty.

"I know I asked you this earlier, but are you doing OK? You seemed kinda out of it for a few seconds in there."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I reassured him, only to see Nisha turn away before he could ask her.

The rest of the visits were fairly quick and easy. After we made our way to the lounge to get changed, I sat down at the little table to take off my shoes. Nisha walked behind me and before I knew it, she rested her hands on my shoulders.

"We need to talk, Elise," she whispered.

I nodded my head.

"My place is out. Maa and Dad have company for the evening. Maybe a restaurant or a bar…"

"My place. Come over to my place. We can talk there."

—–

NISHA

After agreeing to see her at her place and as I drove home, I began to get nervous. I mean, being alone with her might not be the best idea when what I wanted to do was try and tap the brakes with her. Well, intellectually, I knew we should tap the brakes, but emotionally, I had this incredible desire to kiss her again. And again.

I told my parents I was going to visit Elise for a few hours and would return after their company had left. Dad expressed some concern about the weather, but I reassured him I'd be home before the snow was predicted to hit.

On the way over to her apartment, I tried to think of how and what I should say. I knew I should tell her the kiss was 'nice,' but that I didn't think we were ever going to be a 'thing' and we should stop while we were ahead. But my body was singing a different tune! Nervous excitement raced through me just thinking about being alone with her.

It was with this conflict raging in me when I rang Elise's doorbell.

"Hi! Come on in."

"Uh, thanks. Oh, it looks like you put up some decorations."

"Yeah, I needed something to cheer the place up. Normally, I'd go home and visit my parents, but with this mandatory service, well, I didn't have the time to drive over there until later, so I decided to hang some holly and a few ornaments."

"Cute. Looks good."

Elise gave me a quick look before asking if I wanted something to drink. We ended up deciding on some eggnog with a tiny splash of rum. Once she poured the drinks, she raised her glass in a silent toast. I took a sip of mine and it was perfect; not too strong but with a little hint of rum flavor.

Elise steered me to a stool at the little bar which divided her kitchen from the common room and stood on the opposite side of the bar. With me seated, we were nearly eye-to-eye. She took in a deep breath and paused before exhaling.

"You, you wanted to talk," Elise said with a soft voice.

Damn it, now she was going to make me begin, but I had first brought it up, so I guess I needed to start.

"You, uh, you kissed me last night."

"Yeah, I did. Like it?"

"Uh," I eloquently responded, "Uh, I guess I did. But I've never kissed a girl before. Never wanted to kiss a girl. I've always thought of myself as hetero."

"Well," answered Elise, "Same here, but have you never even thought about being with a girl, you know, sexually?"

"Oh, sure, you know, kind of a curiosity thing, but not a real desire thing. I think girls probably do it more than boys," I answered.

"Boys think about being with girls all the time," she laughed.

"No, Silly, I meant boys thinking about being with boys."

"I like your term 'curiosity' because it sums up my thoughts perfectly. I've never wanted a girl, a woman, but occasionally I've wondered what it would be like."

I mulled over what she had said before I went on, "So, was last night just a curiosity thing?"

Elise looked at me with unblinking eyes before she answered, "No. I wanted to kiss you and I've never had that feeling before, ever."

"So, Elise, did you really like it? I mean, did it turn you on?"

Elise swallowed while she held her eyes fixed on mine. "I already told you I liked it and, yes, it turned me on. You?"

I had raised the question, so I had to be honest here, didn't I? "Yeah, it did and way more than any other first kiss I've ever had."

Elise's eyes seemed to sparkle and a wry smile creased her lips before she spoke, "I'd be in favor of trying another one to see if the feelings were real or not."

Damn it! I was going to tell her we needed to cool it or something like that and now she was proposing we try it again. And I so much wanted to try it again that all my reservations flew out the window.

"Me, too," I whispered.

Elise walked around the end of the bar, rotated my stool towards her, gently pulled my legs apart and stood close in front of me. For several long seconds, nothing happened as we stared deeply into each other's eyes before a hidden force seemed to draw us closer and closer.

The kiss the night before was wonderful. I couldn't imagine another kiss being anywhere as nice, but this kiss, this kiss was like the other one on steroids. It started out sweet like the night before, but evolved quickly into a deeper, softer mixing of the lips.

Oh, God, it felt like none I had ever had. Now, I had kissed a fair number of guys over the years and I had even punched my V-card while I was a freshman at Paffington, but with all those encounters, no kiss felt remotely like this one. I don't know how it happened, but I found my arms around her and felt hers around me. And her tongue! Her tongue began to tease my lips until I had to respond. This was not tonsil hockey like I'd experienced with some guys, but her tongue, loving and teasing at the same time, drove my desires through the roof.

—–

ELISE

I had no idea something as simple as a kiss could do so much to me, to my psyche, to my body. I felt this wonderful connection to another human, a human I wanted so much that it was painful to imagine not being with her. I found myself melting inside, turning into a blob of flesh.

Sure, kisses had been nice and sexy before this one, but, wow! I had never had one hit me so hard as this one did. And it went on as if it had a life of its own. It weaved between playful and erotic. Right when I thought we were about to break the kiss, we found ourselves playing hide-and-seek with our tongues or nibbling our lips or something else that would bring new sensations to the fore.

Eventually, all good things must come to pass and so did our kiss. I could sense Nisha turning down the volume and as painful as it was, I eased off as well. That microsecond when our lips parted was imprinted on my mind as something I never wanted to experience again, though I knew if we were to continue, I'd suffer through it again just to have had the joy of the kiss preceding it.

Nisha pulled back a few inches until we could look at each other in the eye. Her pupils were dilated, her nostrils were slightly flared and a soft smile graced her lips.

"Wow," Nisha whispered.

"Wow is right."

"What happened? I mean, we hardly know each other and then 'pow'," Nisha added.

"Maybe we hardly know each other in the usual sense, but somehow, somehow I think we know each other way better than we think."

"Hmm, maybe. Maybe we should rinse and repeat?"

Nisha didn't have to ask a second time. Our lips met for only the third time, but it was even better than before. 'How can that be?' I asked myself, 'How can they keep getting better?'

When we finally broke apart, I decided that standing there in front of her was silly. We should at least both be sitting or even lying together, I thought, so I took her hand and led her to the little sofa along the far wall.

Before I could get back to the business at hand, Nisha put her hand against my chest and asked, "Uh, where do you see this going, I mean, tonight?"

"I hadn't thought about it. I'm enjoying it too much to do any fretting over it."

"Good! I like your answer. Sorry for the interruption. Can we resume?"

My answer was simple. I resumed. We resumed.

—–