Chapter 30

Poppin’ pills and telling secrets. Scandalous.

“Jeez, are you okay?” Bel asked in surprise as she looked down, pausing a moment as she went to grab her bag. We were all in the airport, all of me, Ellie, Kaylee, Desii, Bel, Jada, Jaqueline, Kai, Mena, and Jenna. Everyone was laughing and chatting, walking to get checked at security. Except, like I said, I had never been on a plane before, so as we stood in line, my legs were shaking like they were about to give out.

“Yep,” I replied quickly, sucking in a breath.

“Girl, no you are not, you need to, like, sit down or something,” Bel said, still staring at my legs.

“I’m fine…” I murmured casually, my hands gripping the handle of my suitcase so tight my knuckles were white.

“Eve,” Ellie said from behind me, passing me something. She placed a little white pill into my hand, my anxiety medication, and I looked at her like she had just gone insane.

“We’re in an airport,” I hissed. She just looked at me casually, passing her water bottle over.

“Okay?” She said.

“I- I can like, get in trouble…or something,” I muttered as she paused and laughed, shaking her head as she smiled with her straight, white teeth.

“Shut up and take it…you worry too much,” she snorted, nudging my hands. “And drink the rest of that water. I have to throw it away before we get up there,” she hummed, looking at me intently as she waited. I huffed, shaking my head at her, my cheeks a bit pink as I popped the pill into my mouth, drinking the rest of her water and washing it down. She smirked in amusement at me, shaking her head again as she took the bottle back and winked at me playfully. I gave her a glare, turning back to chat with Bel and Emma. I had to admit, it did help.

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“Oh my gosh!” I cackled, walking up the stairs of our Airbnb. I had never been in anything like this before. We had bought one big enough to fit us all and this thing was huge and awesome. I loved it. “This is so cool…” I murmured in awe. Ellie followed after me, walking up the stairs.

“Our rooms somewhere up here, I don’t know, whichever one Desii and Kaylee didn’t steal,” she hummed casually.

“Desii and Kaylee are sleeping together?” I asked softly as I started down the hall. Dad wouldn’t like that. But he’s not here.

“Eve, sweetie, they are, like, legal adults,” Ellie snorted in amusement. “We almost are, too. And aren’t we sharing a room?” She hummed.

“Yeah, but that’s…different,” I murmured. I paused a moment and then pushed open a door. “Nope, bathroom,” I murmured to myself as I continued down the hallway.

“It’s different ’cause its gay?” Ellie teased. I looked to her with a mock glare, rolling my eyes.

“Stop saying that…” I muttered. She just laughed. I pushed open the other door, which was in fact our bedroom, smiling as I looked around. “Cool…” I whispered.

“Pretty neat,” Ellie admitted, dropping her bag onto the floor. She headed to the window, checking out the view. “Oh, check it out, we got a balcony,” she whistled, pulling open the sliding door. I scampered after her, walking over to the railing and looking out at the sun shining down on all the houses.

“I love it here,” I giggled.

“Better than ol’ Mississippi, huh?” Ellie hummed.

“Yeah…but I still like Mississippi,” I said softly.

“Yeah, and your crazy,” she smirked. I didn’t pay her any mind, just continued looking all around, finding everything intruiging, even simple things like the sidewalks.

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The following day we spent the whole time at the beach, in shops, at restaurants, and also in the iconic traffic of California. However, it was totally worth it for the experience. We didn’t end up going to Stanford and I was quite sure we never would because it was admittedly roughly five hours away from our location, and I had accepted defeat. I would be seeing it soon, though!

I was currently sitting on the balcony with Ellie, the wind blowing lightly and creating a nice breeze. The sun was beginning to set and the view was absolutely breathtaking. I could stare all day. And that’s exactly what I did, stared off at it, curled up in one of the chairs, my thick red locs still damp from the beach as I wore a tanktop – with no bra, scandalous – and a pair of shorts.

“This is so awesome…” I murmured quietly. Ellie glanced back at me, smiling softly and adjusting in her seat. She sighed, tilting her head back, her brunette hair cascading with her movement.

“Yeah…” she admitted, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. I glanced away, back to the sunset, subtly smirking to myself, watching her arms from my peripheral vision.

“Do you like it?” I asked softly.

“I like you,” Ellie hummed lazily. I paused and looked over to her again, huffing a laugh.

“That’s…not what I asked, but okay,” I smiled, shaking my head fondly.

“Just thought I’d state it,” she said casually.

“Thanks, then. Noted,” I joked. My eyes were soft as I surveyed her, looking her up and down, and leaning my head down to rest it atop my knees.

“Hey,” she said suddenly. “You know how I told you that one time…that Kaya beat me up…?” she asked. I blinked in surprise, slowly lifting my head again. I honestly never though she would bring this up. I mean, come on, we got into one of our first real fights over this exact topic.

“Yeah, the time you yelled at me?” I teased. I couldn’t help but make a dig. It hurt my damn feelings, okay?

“Yeah, yeah, I yelled at you. And I was sorry,” she insisted, rolling her eyes to herself. “But I never told you why.” she murmured.

“No, you didn’t,” I agreed. I said no more, waiting to see if she was going to continue or if this was just another thing left open ended.

“She beat me up,” she repeated, adjusting in her chair to look at me better. I nodded, and she looked away again, turning back to face the sunset. “She beat me up ’cause I like girls…” Ellie said. I paused, instinctively siting up a bit farther in my chair as I thought about her words.

“Beat you up because you like girls…?” I asked softly. No wonder it was a touchy subject. I got weird even thinking about my…sexuality myself. I wouldn’t want to ever talk about if I got beat up over it. I was ashamed enough despite the fact I knew I shouldn’t be. It was people like Kayla that made me scared of myself.

“Yup,” Ellie huffed, her hands flexing on the arms of her chair. “That’s why I had to leave that school, Middleton High, and come back to ours. I went there just to do basketball and I ended up getting outed like crazy by one of Kaya’s friends. I mean, maybe I should’ve known better, but I trusted someone, a friend I made there, and I kinda hinted at it with her, to see….maybe what she would think, or say, or how she’d interpret it…” she trailed off. My face softened into something empathetic as I sighed.

“That’s not your fault…you just wanted to be you…” I said quietly.

“Yeah…but people are…crazy,” Ellie breathed out. She lowered her head, shaking it to herself as if in disbelief herself as she told this story, her own story. “I trusted her and she went and took a flame and made a wildfire. People took anything and everything to make me seem like this huge, raging faggot that wanted every girl-,”

“Ellie-,” I said sharply. She continued.

“-she saw, like I was gonna- gonna corrupt them and…make them like me,” she inhaled sharply, and my heart ached as I heard her sniffled, her glossy eyes glistening with the reflection of the orange sky.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered. Tears welled in my own eyes as I watched her intently, my hand curling up to my opposite shoulder, clutching as if comforting myself.

“I’m not telling you this to g-get pity,” Ellie said shakily. “I’m just…saying it because I want you to know you’re not the first to feel like a crazy gay freak,” Ellie laughed breathlessly.

“Yeah…” I said softly, smiling slowly. A tear rolled down my cheek, resting there a moment.

“Not that your feelings aren’t valid…they are…all the way, but, I mean, I feel you…” Ellie murmured. I nodded, tilting my head as I watched her tenderly. “I was downtown that night, Kaya saw me, and she knew. She was friends with the girl I told…man, biggest mistake of my life. Anyway, Kaya knew, and she had been one to spread a lot of the rumors, actually. She was with friends and her ego was so high she strutted over, getting all in my face, calling me slurs, saying I wanted to…saying I wanted to touch her-,” Ellie choked, pausing a moment. My lips parted in shock as I listened intently, feeling sick for her. This was…awful. She continued. “She…tried to punch me in the face, what a fucking idiot, but she did it. She had all these shiny gold rings on, connected right with my cheekbone. Hurt like a bitch. But I punched her back, ten times harder. Self defense. She tried to fight back but she ended up whining and crying like a baby…and none of her friends helped her,” Ellie snorted, smiling to herself a bit.

“That’s awful…” I gasped.

“It is,” Ellie agreed. “But I mean…it’s funny now. Wasn’t funny at all then. But yeah…” she nodded, pressing her lips together.

“That so awful…” I repeated. Ellie glanced back, realizing I was crying, her eyebrows nearly going all the way to her hairline.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re such an empath,” Ellie laughed affectionately. I attempted to wipe my cheeks and laugh softly, but more tears ended up falling.

“You’re so strong,” I sobbed. Ellie chuckled at me, unable to help herself, and honestly I was laughing at myself too. She walked over, rising from her chair and hoisting me up like nothing as I squealed loudly, cackling gently in her arms. She looked at me with adoration, brushing some hair from my face as I laughed, wrapping my legs around her waist. She leaned in, kissing my lips as I hummed, relaxing into her. I pulled back, looking into her eyes and resting my head on her shoulder.

“…I love you, Eve…I don’t care what people think about it,” she murmured.

“I love you, Ellie. And I don’t care what people think about it…” I sighed. “…This is cringy.”

We both cackled.