Chapter 62

Emma sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the pregnancy test still tucked in the trash like a forbidden secret. Her mind was a blur of conflicting thoughts—fear, uncertainty, and, surprisingly, a deep sense of protectiveness. She couldn’t deny the truth, but she wasn’t ready to face it, not yet. The idea of telling Abigail made her stomach twist in ways that had nothing to do with the nausea she’d been fighting off. 

Abigail was still so young, so full of dreams and plans. She was on the verge of graduating, preparing to take the next steps in her life, and Emma couldn’t bring herself to shatter that, even though her own world was already changing. How could she possibly tell her that her life was about to be upended by something so life-altering?

Emma’s gaze fell on the calendar on her wall. Abigail’s graduation was just a few weeks away. She would be walking across the stage in front of everyone—proud, accomplished, ready to start her next adventure. Emma didn’t want to take that moment from her. She didn’t want to cloud it with the overwhelming weight of her own fears and new responsibilities.

Maybe if I wait a little longer… Emma thought, her hand absentmindedly brushing the edge of the test still hidden in the trash. Maybe when she’s graduated, when everything settles, then I’ll tell her.

It seemed like the perfect plan—no distractions, no added stress while Abigail was still in the glow of her accomplishment. It was selfish, she knew, but it felt like the only way to protect her. To shield her from something she wasn’t ready for.

But as Emma sat there, a gnawing sense of guilt crept in. What if Abigail finds out on her own? What if she feels betrayed that I didn’t tell her? Emma hadn’t even shared her own fears with Abigail—hadn’t even told her that she felt overwhelmed by the thought of becoming a mother. How could she, when Abigail was still in the middle of her own journey?

I can’t do this alone, Emma thought, her heart sinking further into doubt. But then she reminded herself: she wasn’t alone. She had Abigail. She’d always had her.

The sound of the front door opening pulled Emma out of her spiral of thoughts. She looked toward the hallway, her chest tightening. It was Abigail, back from her study session, full of energy and excitement. She walked into the room, her face lighting up when she saw Emma on the bed.

“Hey, you’re looking better,” Abigail said, dropping her bag to the floor and walking over to sit beside Emma. She didn’t seem to notice the tension that clung to the air, didn’t seem to know that Emma’s entire world had just shifted. “How are you feeling? Really feeling?”

“I’m okay,” Emma lied, forcing a smile. “Just… tired, you know?”

Abigail nodded sympathetically, brushing a stray lock of hair from Emma’s forehead. “You’ve been through a lot these past few days. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You deserve it.”

Emma’s heart tightened in her chest. She wanted to tell Abigail everything. She wanted to say, I’m scared, Abs. I’m not sure I can do this. She wanted to spill her fears, her worries, the weight of the secret she was carrying.

But she couldn’t.

Instead, she offered a small, fragile smile. “I’ll be okay,” she said softly. “Just need some time.”

Abigail didn’t seem convinced, but she didn’t push. Instead, she wrapped an arm around Emma’s shoulders, pulling her into a gentle hug. “You don’t have to go through this alone, you know,” Abigail whispered into her hair. “Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out together.”

Emma closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat. She wanted to believe that. She wanted to believe that everything would be okay. But at that moment, she couldn’t picture how it would all fit together.

Abigail was so young, and Emma knew how much her friend had ahead of her. College, traveling, discovering the world. How could I take that from her? Emma wondered.

And yet, the idea of doing this without Abigail’s support was even more terrifying. Maybe if I wait… just a little longer… She repeated the thought in her head, as if it might make it true.

The air felt thick with the weight of unspoken words as Emma sat on the edge of her bed, gazing out the window. The world outside seemed to be moving forward, but Emma felt like she was stuck—suspended between her past and an uncertain future. She had so many questions swirling in her mind, but none more pressing than the one that kept tugging at her heart.

Abigail had always been the dreamer—the one with her eyes set on Columbia University, the one who had worked tirelessly to get into the music program. And now, with graduation just around the corner, that dream was finally coming true.

But Emma wasn’t sure what her place in that future was anymore. The thought of moving to New York, of following Abigail’s footsteps to Columbia, had always felt like the next natural step for them. They had always been a team—who were supposed to take on the world together. But now, with the pregnancy test sitting in the trash, Emma couldn’t ignore the growing fear that maybe their paths were about to diverge in ways she hadn’t prepared for.

The front door opened, and Emma’s thoughts were interrupted by Abigail’s familiar voice calling from the hallway. “Em? You in here?”

Emma quickly wiped a stray tear from her cheek and turned to face the door, forcing a smile. 

“Yeah, I’m just… thinking.”

Abigail stepped into the room, her face lighting up when she saw Emma sitting there. Her energy was always so infectious—her excitement for what lay ahead was impossible to ignore. “How are you feeling today?” she asked, walking over and sitting down next to Emma on the bed.

Emma hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I’m okay,” she said softly. “Just… trying to wrap my head around everything. There’s a lot to think about right now.”

Abigail, ever perceptive, raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Emma took a deep breath, unsure if she was ready to ask the question that had been weighing on her. But the words came out anyway, almost without her permission. “Are you really ready for graduation, Abs? I mean… are you ready to move to New York and start this new chapter? Columbia… the music program… it’s all happening so fast.”

Abigail’s eyes sparkled as she leaned back against the pillows. “Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting for this my entire life. It’s scary, but it’s also so exciting. I can’t wait to dive into everything—classes, performing, meeting new people… It feels like everything is falling into place.”

Emma swallowed, feeling a mix of admiration and fear. She had always admired Abigail’s ambition, her drive to chase her dreams. But now, with everything shifting in her own life, Emma wasn’t sure how she fit into that picture anymore.

“And what about us?” Emma asked quietly. “What about moving to New York together? You know, like we always planned? After graduation, we were supposed to go together, right?”

Abigail paused, her bright expression faltering just for a moment. “Of course we are. That hasn’t changed. We’re a team, Em. That’s never going to change, no matter what happens.”

Emma’s heart ached at Abigail’s words, even though she wanted so desperately to believe them. The thought of moving to New York with Abigail, of being there together as they both started new chapters in their lives, had always been the plan. But now, Emma wasn’t sure what her future looked like. The reality of her pregnancy had created a wall between her and that future, a wall she wasn’t sure how to break down.

“But what if… what if things change?” Emma asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “What if I can’t come with you? What if I have to stay behind… figure this out?”

Abigail looked at her, confusion and concern clouding her features. “What are you talking about, Em? You have to come with me. We promised we’d do this together, remember? We’ve been planning this forever. Don’t tell me you’re backing out now.”

Emma’s throat tightened as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. “I’m not backing out. But things… things are different now. I’m not sure I can keep up with everything we’ve talked about. The move, the school… I’m not sure what my future looks like anymore.”

Abigail’s brow furrowed, her hand reaching for Emma’s. “What’s going on? You’re scaring me. What happened?”

Emma took a shaky breath, staring at their hands intertwined. She had to tell Abigail the truth. She couldn’t keep hiding from it any longer. But at the same time, she wasn’t sure how to say it. How to tell her that everything they had dreamed about was slipping through her fingers.

Emma swallowed hard, the weight of the moment pressing down on her chest. She wanted to tell Abigail everything—wanted to spill out the truth and let the fear that had been suffocating her release. But she couldn’t. Not now. Not like this. She wasn’t ready to unravel the future she had been holding onto for so long.

Instead, she forced a smile, pretending that everything was fine. “It’s just… a lot, you know? All the changes happening so fast,” she said, trying to brush off the tension in her voice. “Graduation, moving, starting new chapters… It’s all overwhelming.”

Abigail, though still concerned, seemed to relax at Emma’s words, letting go of the pressure she’d been feeling. She smiled softly and nodded. “I get it. It’s all so close, everything’s coming at us at once.” She squeezed Emma’s hand reassuringly. “But hey, we’ve got time, right? We can figure it out together.”

Emma nodded, blinking away the lump in her throat. “Yeah, we’ve got time.”

The silence between them hung in the air for a moment, but it didn’t feel as heavy anymore. Abigail, sensing that Emma wasn’t ready to dive into whatever was on her mind, changed the subject with her usual enthusiasm.

“So,” she said with a grin, leaning back against the pillows, “I was thinking about what we’ll do when we get to New York. I’ve already started looking up some places we can visit—museums, music venues, even some cute little cafes. It’s gonna be amazing, Em. You’re going to love it.”

Emma chuckled, grateful for the shift in conversation. Abigail was always so full of life, always ready to look ahead. Emma couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for keeping her own doubts and fears locked away, but she knew she wasn’t ready to share them yet. Not until she could sort through everything on her own.

“Sounds perfect,” Emma said, her voice quiet but genuine. “I can’t wait to see all of it. I’m going to be your personal tour guide through all the best spots.”

Abigail laughed, her eyes lighting up. “You better be! I’ll need someone to show me the ropes. But hey, you’ve got to promise me one thing, Em.”

Emma raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“Promise me you’ll let yourself enjoy it,” Abigail said, her tone suddenly more serious. “I know things are changing, and I know it’s scary, but I want us to make the most of it. I don’t want you to hold back because of what might be. I want you to take this chance, with me, just like we always dreamed.”

Emma’s heart swelled, the warmth of Abigail’s words fighting back the cold knot of uncertainty that had settled deep inside her. She wanted to promise her friend that she would take that chance, that she would enjoy it and embrace it. But deep down, she knew she wasn’t ready to make that promise just yet.

“Yeah,” Emma said softly, her voice almost a whisper. “I promise.”

And in that moment, with the weight of everything still hanging in the air between them, Emma let herself believe, even if just for a second, that maybe, just maybe, everything would work out. Maybe the future was uncertain, but they would face it together, as they always had. And for now, that was enough.

But as Emma pulled the covers up over her shoulders and lay back, the thought of telling Abigail everything lingered at the back of her mind. The truth would come eventually, but not today. Not yet. She just needed a little more time.