Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning feeling sick. Not just under the weather–truly, utterly sick. I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed.  Enzo walked in and opened the curtains. Sunlight poured into the room, filling every corner with brightness–and stabbing straight into my eyes.

“Enzo! Are you insane? I just opened my eyes, dude!” I muttered. I didn’t even have the strength to yell. I felt miserable. Pathetic, even. Because how do you mourn the loss of someone you never really had in the first place?

“You need to get up girl. You have work to do, meetings, the shoot”

“Oh, the shoot. Shit.” I groaned, irritated.

“Come on, I’ll be with you the whole time. Sorry I wasn’t there yesterday”

I sighed. “It’s okay, you couldn’t have known” But as I remembered I’d be seeing her for coffee later, a knot twisted in my stomach. At the same time though, I was thrilled. I hated her for not being with me, but at the same time I admired her so much, wanted her so much. 

Life is so unfair.

“Get up already!” Enzo yelled dramatically into my ear and I had no choice but to drag myself out of bed and get ready.

I didn’t even have the energy to pick an outfit. That’s how drained I was–mentally, emotionally, all of it. I stood in front of my closet, trying not to think, and somehow managed to pull something good together.  I wore a black mini skirt, sheer black tights, and my knee-high black, leather boots. Then I grabbed my oversized deep-crimson-red sweater with dropped shoulders–my lucky one. Every time I wear this fuzzy thing, something good happens. Not that I knew what I was hoping for today.

I threw on a pair of silver hoop earrings, did the bare minimum with my makeup, grabbed my black bag, and stepped into the elevator. Enzo was already waiting. He gave a low whistle when he saw me.

“Well, well, well, I clearly wasn’t aware of your game miss y/l/n”

“Oh, shut up. I’m not that good, it’s just a casual outfit” I shot back, even though I knew I looked good. My hair looked suspiciously flawless, even though I’d only brushed it half-asleep. The whole look felt like something out of a romantic novel.

“You look beautiful y/n” Enzo said softly, tilting his head slightly.

“Thanks Enzo” I answered back and we rode the rest of the way down in a warm, comfortable silence.

💋 

We arrived at the set and the nerves hit me instantly. I saw her scrolling through her phone and I felt my stomach twisting. No man deserves her. That thought looped in my head on repeat for the rest of the shoot. Enzo had brought Uno and a deck of cards to keep us occupied. We played a few rounds, and after he accused me of cheating for the fifth time– just because I was winning–I rolled my eyes, gave him a dramatic sigh and grabbed my book to escape from all the chaos.

“I’m going to the bathroom for a minute. You’ll be okay, right?” Enzo asked and for some reason, that pissed me off.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. What do you mean?” I said, my voice sharper than I intended.

“Okay, calm down y/n, you know why I’m asking”

He was right and it wasn’t his fault. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m just-“

“Overwhelmed,” he finished my sentence, his tone soft and understanding. “Who wouldn’t be?”

His gentleness made my heart melt. “Thanks, Enzo. Now go!” I laughed.

“Okay, okay” he said grinning as he walked toward the bathroom.

I sat in my chair quietly reading, minding my own business, lost in the pages, when I noticed a figure stop beside me. Who the fuck. I looked up slowly and I just froze.

“Sabrina! Hey, how are you?” Holy shit. If she canceled again, I would never step foot on this set again.

“I’m fine” she said with a soft smile. “What are you reading?” She was interested in my book? I blinked, caught off guard by the mixed signals she was sending me.

“Uh, The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo, it’s a great book actually”

“If you say so, then I definitely have to read it” she replied, a small smile forming on her lips.

“Well… you can take it, if you want”

“Really?”, her eyebrows lifted.

“Yeah, sure. I’ve read it like, a million times. It’s not a big deal” that whole interaction was weird, was she… flirting? Nah, I was just being delusional.

“Thanks” she said and then, casually–too casually–she added, “Oh, and is the coffee date still on?”, coffee… date? Date? 

“You mean the work thing? Yeah, sure” I said smiling way too hard and then I made the mistake of looking straight into her eyes. Oh god, hat must be what heaven looks like. She didn’t say anything. She just kept looking back at me, making me nervous.

“I’m back–oh, hey” Enzo said completely unaware that he had just ruined one of the best moments of my entire life.

“Hey, y/n? See you later right?” Sabrina said, turning to me.

“Right” She turned around and headed off to get her makeup done. The second I was sure she was far away enough, I started smacking Enzo on the arm.

“Holy shit, Enzo!” I whisper-yelled, light-punching him repeatedly. “She asked me about my book, and I gave it to her, and we’re going for coffee–and she said date! Enzo, can you believe it?! Date!”

“Wait, slow down,” Enzo said blinking. “she asked about your book… and you gave it to her? Isn’t that the one you’ve had since you were, like, 16? And date? Doesn’t she have a–“

“Don’t you dare say it. And yeah, I gave her my book. It’s just a book, you know…” it wasn’t just a book. But she was Sabrina so…

“Okay whatever” Enzo muttered.

💋

When the shoot was over, I immediately started looking for her. “Hey y/n! Over here!” I heard Sabrina’s voice behind me. I turned around and there she was. Radiant. Effortlessly beautiful, as always. “Hey, ready to go?” I asked, my hands nearly trembling from excitement. “Yeah just let me grab my bag”. She picked up her Chanel purse and just like that, we were off.

“So, what do you think of New York? You’ve been here before?” I asked. 

“Yeah, actually. I lived here for a while before I moved to LA” Of course, she lives in LA. How had I forgotten? She’d be leaving in just a few days. Ugh.

“Oh that’s great, so I guess you know the city well. Where are we going then?” 

She paused, thinking for a second. “There’s this little coffee shop, I think it’s about two blocks from here”

“Small coffee shop it is” I said, a little too enthusiastically. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I was walking down the street with Sabrina Carpenter by my side. Like… actually walking beside her. Everything felt surreal. Like I was in some alternate version of my life, an actually good one. I didn’t know how to act or what was the right thing to say. I had only one thought in my mind: don’t mess this up.

💋

We reached the coffee shop after a few minutes of walking. Most of our conversation had been about work–nothing too deep. When we got to the door, I stepped ahead and held it open for her. “After you my lady” I said in a proud-mocking way, that earned me a chuckle.

“Such a gent” I laughed at the compliment, but still felt a blush creep onto my cheeks.

We sat at a small table tucked into the back corner, near the wall. It was quiet and she. She was the one that made this place unique with just her presence. 

“What will you order? Espresso?” I teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Ha ha, very funny y/n. You’re hilarious” she said with sarcasm, but I caught the shy smile hiding behind the menu she held up to her face.

“Seriously though, what are you getting?” I asked, genuinely curious now. “Hmm… an ice-tea probably . I already had a coffee today–I’m trying to cut back on caffeine, actually” 

“That’s great! I should do the same, but I’m basically running on caffeine at this point” I admitted with a sheepish grin.

“You? No way. You can’t possibly drink that much coffee” she said with disbelief. “How many have you had today?”

I pressed my index finger to my lips pretending to think hard. “Umm… like 4? Since this morning. And a red-bull”

Her eyes widened. There was surprise–and maybe a little concern? “Oh… you weren’t joking”. “Nope” I replied quickly. We just stared at each other for a second, until we both burst out laughing.

“You really shouldn’t drink that much coffee. It’s not good for you!” she said through her laughter. “You sound like my mom right now” I teased, and she gave me a dramatic eye-roll.

“Okay, fine. Do whatever you want, but–“, I leaned in slightly, dying to know what she was about to say–but before she could finish, the waiter appeared at our table. She ordered an ice-tea and one of those giant soft cookies. I, of course, ordered a double espresso.

The second the waiter left, she sighed dramatically. “And you ordered an espresso”

“Of course I did” I said, smiling widely.

Our orders came pretty quickly and for a moment everything was going smoothly–until it wasn’t.

I reached into my bag to pull out my laptop, then carelessly left the bag on the floor beside the table, half in the way. The waiter returned with Sabrina’s drink, didn’t see the bag–and tripped, spilling the ice-tea all over Sabrina.

“Oh my God, I’m so, so sorry!” Fuuuck. This was entirely my fault. “Are you okay?” I asked the waiter first, and then turned to Sabrina. “Oh… that’s bad. I’m terribly sorry–I shouldn’t have left my bag there” I sighed, unable to look her in the eyes, my gaze locked on the floor. My throat was tight and I was fighting back tears with all my will.

“Hey… it’s okay. I’m sure you didn’t mean to” she said gently. She was being sweet–too sweet, because we both knew it was my fault. I had to do something to make up for it. “I actually live, like, five minutes from here. Do you want to come over and change? I’m sure I can find something you’ll like” I offered quickly, my voice still weak. She looked hesitant, but after a pause she nodded. “Fine. Let’s do that then”. I paid the bill and we headed out.

On the walk to my apartment, guilt weighed down on me. “Again… I’m really sorry, for your clothes,  your tea… and your cookie” I said quietly, almost ashamed to bring it up again.

“Oh, shit!” she said laughing. “I totally forgot about that cookie”, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and smiled feeling a wave of relieve rushing through me. “Yeah… poor cookie” I chuckled.

A few minutes later we reached my building. I saw her lips part slightly in surprise–probably she hadn’t expected this kind of place. “Come on” I said softly and without thinking, I reached out and took her hand to lead her toward the elevator.

And she held it back. She didn’t let go.

My heart skipped so many beats I thought it might just give up and die, and I smiled to myself like I had accomplished the greatest thing in the world. And maybe I had.

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Heyyy! Thanks again for reading this far (🥹) and I’ll try to write as quickly as i can the next chapter! id love to hear in the comments what yall think will happen nexttt>> 🫣

✨byeeee✨