Chapter 9

JISOO

I was starting to feel alive. Jennie and Ella were making me feel alive again. I don’t know how they did it. But it felt really good.

I felt that familiarity with Jennie before. From the day I first laid my eyes on her. When I saw her beautiful, warm smile. And then I met Ella. That adorable, smart, three and a half year old that when you look at her you understand what innocence is. She is a little angel. And I am trying to remember how it was before them. It’s not that they live with me for months or that I know them for years but something clicks. Something that never clicked with Suho. Suho was just a convenience. Someone to feel that I wasn’t alone. But Suho right now is invisible. He was from the beginning, but now he just not exists.

The scene at the restaurant was funny to watch. When Jennie read the menu card in perfect French I was astonished. I didn’t know that she spoke another language. She didn’t seem like she did considering her current state and where they were living. But.. She was amazing. And she left Suho with his mouth open. That jerk. I wanted to punch him so hard and I am not even a violent person. And seeing Jennie like that made me like her even more. She stood on her place, never insulting him and smiling. Although I knew it was fake. Ella was in her little world. She was a smart kid and she knew when to speak or not. Jennie raised her right. That’s how I knew that Jennie wasn’t crazy or a thief as Suho accused her to be. I could feel it. She couldn’t have Ella and be like that.

At the dinner she was wearing the black dress I bought for her and she looked amazing. I am sure without the cast she would look perfect but even with that she was still very beautiful. The moment I realized I was thinking of her like that I started to blush but Ella spoke first.. I was afraid that she would say about me again but it wasn’t me this time..

“Mommy? Are you okay? You are red like Jisoo from this morning.”

“I.. am fine. I guess it’s too hot in here.” she was blushing but why? I was blushing too. We both were red as Ella would say.

“Actually yes it is. I don’t get why the have the heat up so much in every place.”

I would so like to take a cold shower right now. Hot, very hot inside..

Jennie is a little mystery. I can’t read her and I am a lawyer. I know how to read people. But she is just unreadable. She doesn’t look like poor. She has good manners, she knows French. But yet she works to a bakery shop, not that it is embarrassing or something. She lives in a very mad neighbourhood and in a motel. Ella is well dressed, she is clean and she is going to a kindergarten. I can’t help but wonder what their story is. Jennie was right. I don’t know who she is and where she comes from. But I want to know. I want to find out who is Jennie.. I don’t even know her last name..

“She sleeps like really heavy Jennie.”

“Yeah, she does. She doesn’t wake up easily. She got that from her mom.”

“You sleep like that?” I saw her looking at Ella with an adoring look and she took her from my arms. Her answer was a whisper and very simple. “Yes.”

I knew she wanted to be the one to put Ella on her bed but considering she couldn’t walk without her crunches I insisted to be the one to do it. I let her undress her and kiss her on her forehead. I never thought of having kids before. It wasn’t my thing. I always said that I had time. But here I am, twenty nine years old, with someone I don’t really like or love, working from when the sun is rising till the moon comes up. But with Ella I feel so close and I never been close to any child. Maybe because I didn’t have any friends as Suho said or because I didn’t want to have any friends in my life.

“Could you please help me with my dress Jisoo?” help her. With her dress. Like? Take it off from her? Like unzip her dress? Why I am still standing, looking at her, without moving? “Jisoo? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Okay. I am ok. Yes. I can help you.”

“Can you unzip it because I can’t reach it by myself,” her back was perfect. While I had my fingers on the zip I touched her and I saw her having goosebumps. Maybe it was cold inside the room. But why I was feeling hot again? I know why.. Because of her..

“Thank you. For today. For everything.”

“You are welcome but I did nothing.” she started undressing and I was still there without moving. She would think that I am a perv or something.

“Well.. I.. I am going to change. If you are not sleepy I’ll be in the living room.”

I took a big breath when I got outside her room and closed the door behind me. Finding the strength to walk to my room.. Not easy.. My legs were trembling.. I managed to remove my clothes and wear my shorts and a tshirt. In ten minutes I was in the living room, sitting on my couch with a glass of wine on my hands. I checked my watch and it was 23.05. Maybe she was tired and she wouldn’t come. I waited another five minutes and nothing. I finished my glass of wine and still she wasn’t right next to me. When I stood up from the couch she was there. Looking at me with her crunches in both hands..

“Sorry, but it was kind of difficult for me to change into my clothes and remove the ones I had. You see a brunette hit me yesterday.” she said and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, I hope she took care of you and that she didn’t let you there.”

“Oh, no. She was nice. She even took me in her house.” in my dictionary that it is called ‘flirting’. That was what I was doing with Jennie?

“Well then. Lucky you,” but I liked it. There is nothing wrong with flirting. Except that she is straight and I have an ass for a boyfriend.

“Lucky me. So.. where is my wine?”

“Here. Let me.”

She sat right next to me with her leg propped up so she could feel more comfortable. I let her.

“So.. Jisoo Kim. Who are you?”

“Excuse me?” that caught me off guard. It was supposed to be me that would ask that question.

“I asked who Jisoo Kim was. You know, no offense or anything but you seem a completely different person outside the shop. I am just curious,”

“What do you mean different?”

“Jisoo. You didn’t even look at me when you were coming there. I am not saying that it is only you like that but I saw you yesterday and I saw you today. You are like two persons. Do you have a twin?”

“No. I am an only child actually. And I don’t really understand why you are saying that I am different.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“No it does. What did you mean?”

“I don’t know if you really want to know. And considering that I am living here..”

“No. Tell me. I won’t throw you away.” I wanted to know what her opinion was for me. I wanted to know.

“Jisoo, I don’t think that it..”

“Tell me. Please,”

“A cold hearted bitch.” Ouch. That hurt. Really hurt. But I asked for it. I got up from where I was sitting but I felt her hand holding mine. It burned where she was holding me.. “But you are not like that. I was mistaken. You are a very nice person. You took me in your house without knowing anything about me. You bought clothes for Ella and me and you stood up for me in the restaurant. So I believe that the cold princess is not here. At least not right now,”

I wanted to cry. She wasn’t wrong. I was a cold blooded bitch. She wasn’t mistaken. But all these years I didn’t care what the others thought about me. But I cared for her opinion. And although I was coming to that bakery only for her, only to see her smile, I didn’t manage to be nice to her. To smile her back. My fears held me behind and I showed her how I was. But I know that that Jisoo in not here. She is not here when Jennie is here. Simple as that..

“I am sorry. You are not that person Jisoo,”

“It’s okay. I am. You didn’t say something that wasn’t true.”

“Why though? Why you are like that?”

“Being raised in a very wealthy family, with a mom that is a constantly bitch and having to be the perfect daughter for her.. Then you become me.”

“You know.. You could always say no. You are a person. Not an object Jisoo. I don’t understand.”

“You don’t have too. And it’s too late to talk about my mom. We should let her rest back in her home in New York,”

“Okay.”

“So what about you Jennie.. I don’t even know your last name” I saw her look. It changed in a few seconds. Because of that and how she was zoning out if I would say something about families I knew that Jennie was a mystery.

“K-Kwon. My name is Jennie Kwon.”

“Jennie Kwon? Why does it sound weird?” I chuckled.

“Hey don’t laugh! It’s a korean surname, both of my parents were korean but they raised us in California.”

“Okay, well nice to meet you Jennie Kwon.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“So why you left California?”

“Because it was too sunny.”

“Jennie, come on. This is me. I am not Suho.”

“I needed a change. I needed to leave.”

“But why?” she faked a yawn and looked at me.

“Should we continue this some other time? I feel kind of sleepy. It was a long day.”

I knew she wasn’t sleepy because five minutes ago she was very much awake. But I didn’t want to hold her back. Jennie Kwon would remain a mystery for one more day..