Chapter 26

PAT’s POV:

I didn’t cry often.

Not when we lost games.

Not when training became unbearable.

Not when I was exhausted.

Not when life got difficult.

Years of basketball had taught me how to keep moving.

How to keep going even when things hurt.

So when people looked at me, they saw someone strong.

Someone composed.

Someone who could handle anything.

The funny thing was…

They were wrong.

—

Because some nights were harder than others.

And tonight was one of them.

—

I was sitting alone in the living room.

The condo was dark except for the small lamp near the couch.

Kat had already gone to bed.

Mat had gone home hours ago.

Everything was quiet.

Too quiet.

—

My phone buzzed.

A notification.

—

**Mat: Goodnight, Kat. Don’t forget to eat breakfast tomorrow.**

—

I stared at the message.

Then at the name.

Then locked my phone.

—

Because somehow…

That hurt more than it should have.

—

Not because Mat was doing anything wrong.

He wasn’t.

—

Not because Kat had replied.

She hadn’t.

—

But because he could do things I never could.

—

He could openly like her.

Openly pursue her.

Openly hope.

—

Meanwhile…

I was sitting alone in the dark pretending I didn’t love her.

—

A laugh escaped me.

Short.

Bitter.

Pathetic.

—

Because what exactly was I doing?

—

Ten years.

—

Ten years of loving the same person.

Ten years of saying nothing.

Ten years of convincing myself that friendship was enough.

—

And maybe it had been.

At first.

—

Back when we were kids.

Back when I didn’t understand why my heart beat differently around her.

Back when I thought every friendship felt like this.

—

But now?

—

Now I knew.

—

And somehow…

That made everything worse.

—

I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes.

—

The memories came easily.

—

Kat chasing after me when we were children.

Kat bringing me candy.

Kat holding my hand during graduation.

Kat crying when I left for Raven.

Kat falling asleep on my shoulder during bus rides.

Kat smiling.

Laughing.

Existing.

—

Always Kat.

—

Every memory somehow led back to her.

—

And maybe that was the problem.

—

Because no matter how hard I tried…

I couldn’t imagine a future where she wasn’t there.

—

My chest tightened.

—

I hated this.

—

I hated feeling this helpless.

—

I hated feeling jealous.

—

Most of all…

I hated myself for being jealous of Mat.

—

Because he was my friend.

—

A good friend.

—

The kind of friend who helped me survive my first years in Raven.

The kind of friend who stayed when things got difficult.

The kind of friend who deserved happiness too.

—

So how could I be angry at him?

—

How could I blame him for loving someone amazing?

—

I couldn’t.

—

And that was what hurt.

—

Because nobody was doing anything wrong.

—

Not Mat.

Not Kat.

Not even me.

—

Yet somehow…

It still felt like my heart was breaking.

—

A tear slipped down before I could stop it.

—

Then another.

—

Then another.

—

I laughed quietly.

—

“Pathetic.”

—

I wiped my face immediately.

—

Because crying over someone who didn’t even know how you felt was ridiculous.

—

Wasn’t it?

—

The condo remained silent.

—

For a long time, I just sat there.

Trying to breathe.

Trying to think.

Trying to convince myself that everything would be okay.

—

Then suddenly…

A door opened.

—

I immediately wiped my eyes.

—

Too late.

—

“Pat?”

—

Kat.

—

Of course.

—

I looked up.

—

She stood in the hallway.

Still sleepy.

Hair messy.

Wearing an oversized shirt.

—

And unfortunately…

Looking directly at me.

—

My heart sank.

—

“Why are you awake?”

I asked.

—

Wrong question.

—

Because the moment she got closer, her expression changed.

—

Concern.

—

The kind I hated seeing.

—

“Pat.”

—

“What?”

—

“Are you crying?”

—

“No.”

—

“You’re literally crying.”

—

I looked away.

—

“No.”

—

“Pat.”

—

I hated that tone.

—

The soft one.

—

The worried one.

—

The one she only used when she cared.

—

“I’m fine.”

—

Liar.

—

Even I knew it.

—

Kat sat beside me.

—

Close enough that our shoulders touched.

—

Neither of us spoke for a moment.

—

Then quietly…

She asked:

—

“Do you want to talk about it?”

—

The answer was simple.

—

No.

—

Because if I started talking…

I wasn’t sure I could stop.

—

Because the truth was sitting right beside me.

—

The reason.

The problem.

The person.

—

Her.

—

So instead, I shook my head.

—

And whispered:

—

“Just one of those nights.”

—

Kat didn’t look convinced.

—

But she nodded anyway.

—

Then did something infinitely worse.

—

She rested her head on my shoulder.

—

The exact way she always did.

—

The exact way she had done for years.

—

Like it was natural.

—

Like it meant nothing.

—

And maybe to her…

It did.

—

But to me?

—

It meant everything.

—

My vision blurred again.

—

Because how was I supposed to move on from someone who felt like home?

—

How was I supposed to watch her fall for someone else?

—

How was I supposed to survive that?

—

The silence stretched between us.

—

Comfortable.

Painful.

Familiar.

—

Eventually Kat spoke.

—

“You know…”

—

“Hm?”

—

“I’m glad I’m here.”

—

My chest ached.

—

Because she had no idea.

—

No idea what those words did to me.

—

No idea that she was the reason I couldn’t sleep.

—

No idea that she was the reason I cried.

—

No idea that I loved her.

—

And maybe…

That was for the best.

—

So I smiled.

Even though it hurt.

—

And answered softly:

—

“Yeah.”

—

Because sometimes loving someone means carrying the pain alone.

—

And tonight…

That burden felt heavier than ever.

—

Outside, the city continued moving.

Cars passed.

Lights flickered.

People lived their lives.

—

And inside a small condo near Raven University…

A girl quietly cried for the person sitting beside her.

While that same person gently leaned against her shoulder.

Completely unaware that she was breaking someone’s heart just by being there.

—

### Author’s Note

…

I told you to bring tissues.

Pat is suffering.

Mat is trying.

Kat is clueless.

And I’m sitting here writing emotional damage for free.

See you next chapter.

(Respectfully, I am not okay.)