Chapter 46

Simone was the first to break it.
She blinked once, looked between Celeste and Lila, then pointed with her drink.

Naomi set her glass down slowly, like she was afraid a single sound might make things worse. Her eyes darted between the two women, assessing, calculating, reading every micro-expression the way she always did.

Rowan didn’t speak at first. She sat perfectly still, her elbows on her knees, her jaw flexing slightly as she studied Lila. She wasn’t angry. Not yet. But the weight of her silence filled the room more than any outburst could have.

Lila’s voice finally cracked the tension. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” Her tone was quiet, trembling, but there was a raw edge underneath it — a kind of exhaustion. “It just… slipped out.”

Celeste swallowed hard, her voice soft. “She told me she wishes she had what me and Rowan have.”

That admission hit like a soft echo through the room. Everyone looked between them again.

Simone threw her hands up. “Wait, that’s it? You two walked off all mysterious, and that’s the big reveal? Girl, I thought we were about to find out you killed someone.”

“It’s not like that,” Celeste said, her voice sharper than intended. “She wasn’t being messy. She was being honest.”

Rowan’s eyes never left Lila. Her tone was calm but carried the kind of weight that made everyone shut up. “So that’s what this is about?” she asked quietly. “You’re jealous?”

Lila hesitated, her lips parting before any words came out. Her hands fidgeted with the edge of her sweater, knuckles white. “Yeah,” she finally whispered. “I guess I am. And it’s not something I’m proud of.”

Celeste’s chest tightened, the vulnerability in Lila’s voice slicing straight through her.

Lila looked up, her eyes glossy under the low light. “Do you know what it’s like watching two people fit together so effortlessly? You and Rowan — it’s like watching gravity work. You pull each other in without even trying. You understand each other without words.” She paused, her throat bobbing as she swallowed hard. “And I sit here every night, watching it happen, and I can’t help but think… when is it ever going to be my turn?”

The room went quiet again.

Rowan’s face softened. “Lila…”

Lila shook her head quickly, cutting her off. “No, don’t do that. Don’t pity me. I’m not saying I’m in love with her — it’s not that kind of jealousy. It’s just—” she gestured toward Celeste with a trembling hand “—she makes people feel safe. Loved. Seen. And I miss feeling that.”

Celeste blinked, her heart aching. “You are loved, Lila.”

“Not like that,” Lila said, her voice breaking. “You’ve got Rowan. Naomi’s got her life together. Simone’s got… chaos, but she thrives in it. And me?” She laughed, but it came out small, bitter. “I’ve just got me.”

Simone frowned. “Girl, that’s not true. You’ve got us.”

Lila smiled weakly. “Yeah. But it’s not the same, Simone. It’s not someone choosing you at the end of the night. It’s not someone looking at you like you’re home.”

Rowan exhaled softly, leaning forward. “You could’ve said that sooner. We’d have understood.”

“I didn’t want to sound pathetic.”

Naomi spoke then, her tone steady but kind. “That’s not pathetic, Lila. That’s human. We all want to be chosen. Every single one of us. Some of us just hide it better.”

Lila looked at her, surprised by the warmth in her voice. “Yeah?”

Naomi gave a small shrug. “Trust me, I get it. Wanting what someone else has isn’t wrong. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

The words lingered, grounding the air again.

Rowan glanced at Celeste, her voice low. “You’re really not upset?”

Celeste shook her head slowly. “No. How could I be? She didn’t do anything wrong.”

Rowan smiled faintly. “Good. Because I’m not either.”

Simone looked at them like she was watching aliens. “Okay, hold on. You mean to tell me all this drama and nobody’s mad? No yelling? No tears? No—”

“Simone,” Naomi said flatly.

“What? I’m just saying!” Simone laughed, throwing her hands up. “I was ready for a whole soap opera moment, and y’all are sitting here like therapists.”

The group actually laughed then — quiet at first, but real. It broke the tension just enough for everyone to breathe again.

Lila sighed, rubbing her temples. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Celeste said gently. “It’s honest. And honestly, I’m glad you said it.”

Lila gave her a tired, thankful look. “Thanks.”

Simone leaned back with a smirk. “I swear, y’all need a group therapist at this point. This room’s got enough tension to power a city.”

Naomi took another sip of her drink, her lips curving slightly. “No therapist could handle this room.”

Everyone laughed again, lighter this time.