Chapter 34

JISOO

She was punishing me and that hurt me. I am not saying that finding out that way about my plans was right but I wasn’t even sure about what my plans were. That’s why I didn’t say anything. It was only a thought that unfortunately I discussed it with Bona who was calling me every day to see what is going to happen.

When she left to go and pick Ella from her school I wanted to chase her, to follow her, to tell her to stay and let me explain. But I knew Jennie. And if I did that would be worst. So I let her go with the hope that she would come home and let me explain.

I called, I texted but I never got an answer back. I was worried. And since she was punishing she wouldn’t text me. But she had Ella with her and my mind was going crazy. Why all this had to happen? If Bona didn’t open her mouth nothing would happen. I made one last effort to text her and ask her if they were okay. I didn’t expect her to answer me but she did.

‘We are okay.’

She was still upset and I could see it from her text. Simple and cold. At least I knew they were okay. It was already 4pm and she wouldn’t come back. She already told me not to wait for them. Where they would go? What Ella would eat? Would they be on the road all evening? Jennie doesn’t drive. Everything was just fucked up.

I tried to turn my mind off. I tried to think what I would tell her when she would be home. I tried to avoid Bona’s constant phone calls. What was wrong with the girl really? I was starting to think that Jennie was right. Maybe I was trusting way to easy and her insisting of having an office with me? What was wrong with that picture? So I continued to avoid her with the hope that she would stop calling me. All I cared was Jennie. And I just couldn’t hold my tears back.

One hour became two and then three. I kept checking my watch because it was already 8.30pm. Ella supposed to be on her bed by this time. Where were they? My answer to my question came when I heard the door open. They were back. I looked at them and I saw Ella running to my side. I missed my little girl so much.

“Mama, you weren’t there today.”

“I know sweetie. I am sorry.” I said and looked back to Jennie who was still standing there never making a step forward.

“You were crying?”

“My eyes are just tired. I wasn’t crying baby girl.”

“Okay. Will you help me with my bath mama?”

“Of course I will. Go take your clothes off.”

“Okay.”

When Ella left us alone I tried to reach her, to walk closer to her but every step I was making forward she was doing one backward.

“Jen..” my voice was breaking.. And she was just there.. looking at me.

“We will talk later.”

She was leaving me again, with me looking at her back while she was walking to our bedroom. I would step infront of her and stop her but Ella was still up and I didn’t want for her to hear us yell to each other. So I let her and I went to the bathroom to find my daughter.

“Hey mama. I am ready.”

“I can see baby girl.”

Ella liked to take her bath in a hot full bath tub. So she was already in the tub waiting for me to help her.

“Mama, why you weren’t there today?”

“I had to be somewhere else sweetie. I am sorry I couldn’t.”

“That’s okay. I missed you but we went to see grandpa Yanni with mommy.”

“Oh, you did?” I am glad she thought about going to see Mr Yanni. I liked that old man and when I found out that he was taking care of them I respected him even more.

“Aha.. Although most of the time grandpa Yanni and mommy were talking but I was at the kitchen with grandma Maria.”

“Did you eat anything good?”

“Keftedes with french fries.”

“Ke- what?” I am sure you know the adage ‘it’s all greek to me’. Well it was. How she remembered those words still amazed me.

“Keftedes mama.. It’s greek for meatballs. But greek meatballs are better. Can you make them one day?”

“I don’t even know how to pronounce them sweetie. How am I going to cook them?”

“It’s easy. You can ask grandma. She will tell you.”

“We will see.”

When we finished her bath I took her in my arms and we got back to her bedroom. Jennie was there waiting for us and looking at the picture Ella had on her nightstand. It was me, Ella and Jennie with Ella in the middle. We took that picture one day when we were walking in Phili.

“Mommy, I am ready.”

“Under the covers.. Come on..” I gave her a kiss and made a step to let them alone. Jennie was always reading to her before she went to bed.

“Mama, don’t go. Stay with us..”

I looked at Jennie and she seemed different from when she came back. I might be wrong or wishful thinking but she seemed more calm. We still needed to talk though and I am sure she would say some awful things. I was prepared for everything.

In fifteen minutes Ella was already asleep and we were kissing her for goodnight. I followed Jennie in the living room and I sat on the same couch I was waiting for her the whole evening.

“Baby.. can we please talk?”

“I guess it’s time.” She came and sat right next to me. Something I didn’t expect. I didn’t know if I should feel happy or afraid.

“Can you please let me explain first? Because you always rush things.”

“Rush things Jisoo? Rush things? Don’t think so. My girlfriend talked about her plans with her secretary and not with her girlfriend. The person who lives with and they raise a child together. So I don’t rush things when that secretary is coming to my house telling those things. How would you feel Jisoo if I shared something with Yanah and you found it from her? Eh?”

“It’s not the same and you know it. Yanah wants you. I’ve seen that with my own eyes.”

“And what tells you that Bona doesn’t feel the same for you? She is gay as we found out and she quit her job for you. Now she wants to open a practice law office with you.. So? Maybe you are naïve Jisoo but I am not. That woman wants you.”

“I.. I.. You are wrong. She would never.”

“Oh, really? Do you want to make a bet? Do you want to tell her that we broke up and see what she is going to do? Because I think that she already trying to break us up and she is doing that very well.”

“What are you saying Jennie? You want to break up with me? I don’t even look at her like that. I don’t like her that way and I never did. Why you are saying those things?”

“Maybe that’s what you want Jisoo. Maybe this life style, being a girlfriend to me and a mom is not for you. I am trying to help you.”

“You are being ridiculous right now. I love you Jennie. I never loved someone the way I love you. When we fight I get hurt and I can’t.. I don’t want to fight with you.”

“I love you too..” She said but it was barely a whisper..

“I want you to hear me out. Ok? I never said anything to Bona. We were talking and she was pushing me so I said what I had in my mind at that moment. I never made a decision. She started to search for places. I would never make a decision that doesn’t involve both of us. You and I are together in this. Ok?”

“You didn’t make a decision yet?” She said with those brown eyes I loved. I wanted so much to take her in my arms and tell her that she was stupid.

“No baby. I didn’t. You will be the first person to know. I am sorry for what happened. I don’t like it when we fight especially over other people.”

“Don’t like it either. But Jisoo, I really really dislike Bona and not because I am jealous. I just have a bad feeling for the girl.”

“Also.. ithinkyouareright.”

“What did you say?”

“I sat down and thought everything you said and how she is acting.. Maybe you are right?”

“Maybe I am right? Has she done anything else? Should I go and kick her ass?” She stood up like she was indeed ready to kick her ass.

“I think.. she is very exited about working with me and I find all this kind of strange. She is acting like we are partners or something.. Jen, she wasn’t like that when we were working.. I don’t why she is like that now.”

“Because now she knows you are gay and she thinks she can take you from me.”

“No one can take me from you. Only you can take me away from you.”

“I am sorry for acting like a bitch to you..”

“You hurt me but it was slightly my fault too. But don’t ever say again that I am not ready for you and Ella. Ok? That hurt me..”

“I am sorry. It seems that I already hurt you twice today.. What can I do to make you feel better?”

“I don’t know.. You really hurt me..”

She took my hand and took me in her arms giving me a passionate kiss. Her kisses were so addicted and I needed them more than anything when we were like this. She guided back to our bedroom. I knew that look. That look with promises of a beautiful night.. Hmm..

“Can I start making it better here, in our bedroom?”

Hell yeah she could..