Chapter 69

Here it is, the very end. I hope you enjoy~

Songs:

When I close my eyes- Tom Odell

Never enough- Loren Allred

God must hate me- Catie Turner

Everything is Romantic (Remimagined)- Alina Kay & Ozz Gold

The first meeting back Kyoshi remained tall. Trying to project all that the figure for the era of peace should be. Make up applied with a precision that could only be outdone by one other.

She finds herself at the head of a table once more, men starting to fill the room around her.

“That seat is reserved” She called out suddenly as a man tried to pull out the chair to her right. Using a gust of air to push the chair back against the table.

“There is no one sitting there,” The man replied.

“And it will remain that way, is there a problem?” Her expression was flat and serious as the man stepped away searching for a new spot.

“Of course not, Avatar”

Avatar.

That’s right, of course she was the Avatar.

She tries to proceed as usual, Jinpa trying to advise when possible. But there was often more fighting now, and not about the worldly affairs, or how she handled diplomatic affairs. But rather how Jinpa could only watch as one of his dear friends was becoming more of a shell in the absence of the other, and one day it just snapped.

“Something the matter Kyoshi?” He asks, his expression pained. He had asked her what felt like a hundred times now. 

For whatever reason Kyoshi was pulled back to the night before her and Rangi’s wedding. Jinpa had asked her the same thing, the same way, with the same tone, yet to her this felt so different.

“I will be fine,” She said flatly, rising from her seat.

“You are no longer Avatar Kyoshi I fear”

The words had snapped her spine straight. “I am the Avatar, Kyoshi remains with Rangi. She left with her that day. You and I both know that, it’s time to accept it”

“You just don’t want my chaos to be your problem anymore. You know that even after I get married we will still work together.” Kyoshi reminded him on the sunny morning of her wedding.

“It will always be an honor to deal with your chaos Kyoshi, I fear the day I have to step away” He chuckled to himself back then.

“Always so full of it.” Kyoshi shook her head. “But thank you Jinpa”

Jinpa had never known her to be so blunt or harsh, but it seemed like the glimmers of that girl from the earth kingdom were slipping away more each day, replaced with the warrior the world had created.

“Yes, I will mourn both of my friends” He said as he stood to leave, knowing deep down this was the last goodbye. Furthermore, that he really said goodbye to both of his friends long ago.

“But I’m right here,” Kyoshi started to yell.

“No,” the monk shook his head. “You’re not, and you haven’t for a while now.”

Months, it had almost been a year now, and how it didn’t even begin to feel any less painful. Slowly she’d reverted back to old habits, ones Jinpa thought were long left in the past.

“As long as I can do my job, nothing else matters” Kyoshi had told him a couple nights ago.

He let out a long breath “You have to understand, it’s painful Kyoshi. To see you without her, I fear it will only become worse with time-“

“Fine. You wanna leave, leave. I still have things to do. I can do them with or without you.” Kyoshi snapped, standing now as well.

“If that’s really how you feel” He said with a smile laced with the utmost sadness. “It was a pleasure to have worked with two dear friends.”

“Never change Kyoshi” He had laughed.

“You’ve changed Avatar, and my heart will always break for you”

Kyoshi remained standing, seemingly frozen by his words.

“Farewell avatar”

Without another word he left. His words rang through her head. Farewell Avatar.

Avatar.

She wasn’t Kyoshi, she was the Avatar and that’s all that mattered. No one needed the girl from the earth kingdom, they needed the Avatar, master of the four elements.

The Avatar.

Coincidentally that was the last time for a while that she ever heard her name.

She would do the things she promised Rangi whether it was as Kyoshi or the Avatar, it didn’t matter to her anymore.

The Avatar lived on, following the natural lines of conflict. Maintaining her era of peace accordingly.

She had gone back to find Lao ge to solidify her practices, she couldn’t slip now. She had a promise to fulfill, one she secretly hoped would one day kill her.

But that promise slowly morphed into a fear as the years continued to pass, that she would die and Rangi wouldn’t be there waiting for her.

That she had messed up, that she had made a misstep and they would forever be divided.

Still time went on.

Soon, too soon her daughter was dying.

“I’m scared mama,” Koko whispered. She was resting in Kyoshi’s lap in the big bed like she did with her and Ranig as a child.

“I’ve got you my love” Kyoshi says looking down to her daughter’s eyes, they looked the same the night before Rangi passed, like the life in them softened.

“And when you don’t feel my arms anymore, I promise Mami will be there to catch you”

A tear fell at the mention of Rangi.

Koko’s breath flattered for a moment, but then resumed. “But then you’ll be all alone.”

“Love doesn’t die love, I still carry your mother’s and I will carry your’s as well.”

“You promise?”

“I promise”

Koko let out a soft breath at her words. “Can you answer one more question mama?”

Kyoshi nodded.

“Why did you never let people call you the Avatar? It took me too long to notice, but you used to always correct people when we traveled.”

That made Kyoshi think back, “At first it was because I didn’t think I deserved it” She tucked a long strand of her daughter’s hair behind her ear. “There were many years the vast majority of people believed I stole Yun’s Avatarhood.”

“But then the longer I was the Avatar the more I realized it was what made me human”

For some reason Koko let out a small laugh, “You didn’t think you were human?”

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it with a title like that, but my name- it was just me. Having connections to past lives, I do think my name made me feel more human, it’s my connection to you and your mother, and everyone else I loved.”

Koko hummed.

“I love you” she whispered softly. “I can’t wait to see Mami again”

Kyoshi soothed over her daughter’s hair once more, “I will hold you until you do”

And she did.

At Koko’s funeral she was buried on the hill by Rangi’s tomb, and again the Avatar said nothing. Barely even processing the words around her, until she hears one of the women call out to read Koko’s last wish.

‘My last action as leader of the Yokoya warriors was to officially rename them. The group’s new and accepted name is the Kyoshi warriors, named for the human heart that went into protecting our home first, as we all hope to continue to do.’

Of course Koko had already known, she just wanted one last story.

Time passes, but the same fears remain.

What if I pass and I have to forever exist in her absence?

Years passed after Koko’s departure and there was little she hadn’t seen as far as worldly affairs. She also knew how to deal with them quickly and efficiently.

Rumors were quick to spread once what supposed to be this generation’s Avatar outlived them, and their children and great grandchildren as well. 

She had people’s respect but also slowly their fear as well.

“The brutal avatar”

“The doorkeeper to death”

“The human form of the reaper himself”

“The immoral avatar”

But it didn’t matter, she was keeping the peace, and with it her last promise to Rangi.

She had refused to make connections with the spirits if she couldn’t help it as well. Avoiding the spirit world to all ends. Pushed all such affairs off to monks. Too afraid that she’d go to the spirit world and Rangi wouldn’t be there.

The most she’d dare to do was communicate with her past lives. Slowly she had started fighting with them too.

“You’re slipping dear” Yangcheen tried carefully.

“I am not” Kyoshi defended firmly. “I just came here for advice on those guys from the east”

“You didn’t always resort to such drastic actions so quickly.” Yangchen continued.

“Hundreds have died from his hand so what’s it if he dies at the hand of another?” She retorted.

The past life sighed, “I guess I can only advise, you will surely deal with the matter however you see fit.”

She remained still, looking at Yangchen, who had grown quiet. She had talked with her many times, hundreds, thousands even. She could tell the woman had something else to say to her.

“Whatever else you want to add, feel free” Her tone almost came off sarcastic. But Yangchen took the offer nonetheless.

“Kyoshi don’t you think it’s time?”

Her spine went straight.

“Are you suggesting that I jump off a cliff?” Her answer was blunt, but there was no light behind her eyes anymore.

“No, I would never but it is so painful to watch you push your body on when your soul was lost years ago.”

That had held her silence.

“You are over two centuries old, what could you possibly still need to do?”

Kyoshi hated how well she knew the answer, but more so that the answer had changed out of fear.

“It’s not about what I haven’t done anymore. It about what will be left”

“Kyoshi what are you saying, you can join us I promise-“

“It won’t be worth it if she isn’t there,” Kyoshi snapped back.

Yanchen is taken back, she hadn’t mentioned Rangi in a long time, perhaps over a century.

“If I get there and she isn’t, what am I supposed to do, exist forever in her absence?”

The past avatar stays quiet a long while. “Would you like me to tell you if she is?”

Kyoshi looked like she had considered it for a minute. “No no no, don’t tell me. I can’t, I can’t!”

“Fine.” Yangchen states, her expression saddened. “Is there anything else you need?”

Kyoshi shook her head. “I know what I need to do, only justice will bring peace. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.”

She goes on, time passes and she can’t shake the thoughts.

My greatest fear is that I will pass on and she will not be there waiting for me. Even if that’s the case I will spend the rest of eternity looking. Perhaps I deserve this fate. For I have killed so many, many more than I probably should have all for the sake of hoping I will meet her again. But please I have nothing left to give, so please.

I have spent centuries running from this fate, but it’s selfish. The world deserves a new avatar. It’s time to accept my fate.

Over 2 centuries walking this earth, over a century that felt like an eternity without her.

Finally her body had started to give.

If there is no soul to a body it is simply an empty vessel. Gao le had told her.

Rangi had always warned her about that, cursed her for it.

If she was simply an empty vessel now, Rangi would have hated that. Hated her for it. Yelled, screamed, she would have done something about it.

Rangi was no longer here.

So Kyohis would have to be the one to fix it.

Making her way back to Yokoya island, she is greeted by the Kyoshi warriors that her daughter had renamed for her.

The leader had greeted her pleasantly and asked if there was anything she needed while she was here on her travels.

“I need nothing,” The Avatar replied plainly. “I simply came here to die”

Murmurs break out between the other woman, but she hardly pays any mind. Glancing around the room she sees all the former warriors’ names engraved on the wall, fresh flowers beneath them.

She spots Koko’s name and smiles softly. “But first I would like some flowers”

They had been adamant on helping her procure two small bouquets of wild flowers, and she had let them.

“My time is close, I want to pass with her. But thank you for protecting our home when I couldn’t”

No one steps forward to stop her, no one says a word. Rather they bow as Kyoshi turns to leave.

“I’ll be gone by morning,” She says starting to walk, but a voice stops her.

“And you’re sure, you want to be alone?” A warrior asked, a tear seemed to be falling from her eye.

“I have never been alone, not since I’ve met her.” She replies, looking over to the girl who was crying. “Don’t be sad, I have lived more than my share. The world deserves a new Avatar. It’s my time now, I want to be with her.”

Alone, Kyohsi slowly climbs the hill, laying one of the bouquets at Koko’s tomb.

Before approaching Rangi’s.

“They’re red” Kyoshi started as she sat down resting against the stone, laying down the flowers beside her.

“It only felt right to pass beside you” She went on, untying her headpiece, and removing her gloves. She had left the chainmail and removed her makeup down the hill.

She would pass exactly as Rangi remembered her, as Kyoshi.

“I’m sorry I was so long Rangi, but it’s finally time. I promise.”

With that Kyoshi looked at the colors of the sky one last time. The overview of Kyoshi Island, the world they had worked together to create. Where they had found and raised a brilliant daughter. Where they had laughed, and spent hours training. Where they had met by pure chance.

She looked at it all one last time.

The last rays of sun were warm on her skin, and her eyelids. For the first time in centuries she felt the familiar warmth she had longed for. Until she no longer felt the rays, or the wind. Then for a second it was completely quiet and filled with light.

Her eyes fluttered open, it was not as vivid as she had imagined. For a moment she wandered, exploring the seeming empty space. Before she saw a figure.

Yangchen.

The woman stepped forward. Looking like she was trying her best to offer her a welcoming smile.

But when she met Kyoshi’s eyes, she knew what she would ask.

All she could do was shake her head as she took Kyoshi in her arms.

She had sobbed, like the day she had lost Rangi all over again.

“I’m sorry, my child” Yangchen offered softly, stoking through Kyoshi’s long hair.

When they had separated and Kyoshi’s eyes were red, she could only bring herself to ask one question.

“What did I do to deserve this?” more tears fell from her eyes.

The monk had reached up to cup the taller Avatars face, wiping away some the tears with her tumb.

“You did nothing wrong”

“Then why? I should have listened to you more. I should have been better.” Kyoshi started.

“You could have done everything right” Yangchen offered, “But this is simply our fate, you like I are connected to the Avatar cycle so we must remain here to advise to lead the future generations”

“So I will forever exist in her absence” Kyoshi whispered.

“I’m sorry” The monk whispered, offering one last touch of comfort on Kyoshi’s forearm before turning away.

“A new Avatar has been born, you can come find us whenever you wish to see him.”

But Kyoshi remained still.

“I truly am sorry Kyoshi.” Yangchen said once more. “We are all without out other halves here, so I guess at least you familiar company”

“I spent my whole life trying to help the world, giving myself up over and over again, and this is what I get?” Kyoshi’s voice was strained,

“It’s not what you deserve, I don’t think it’s what any of us deserve”

The monk sighed.

“But this is our fate.”

She had never felt so empty, so betrayed.

She had done nothing wrong. Yangchen had even said it herself.

This was just her fate.

Perhaps I deserve this fate

By the time Roku had turned 16 she had managed to pull herself together, but she was once again armored with her fans, headdress and makeup.

She could only try to protect herself against the reality of her fate.

Roko had been on the mellower side, she liked him fine enough. He had asked questions once he was able to mediate properly. Which took a great deal of time, but eventually he got here.

There was always something about his face that disheartened her, perhaps it was his fire nation origin. Or many it was his pointed eyebrows, or pointed determination. But sometimes he just reminded her of Rangi.

Roku had lost to a volcano, she was not impressed by that. When he had joined them she was sure to give her opinion on it, shockingly her and Kuruk had gotten closer. He had agreed with her, that helped.

There was a great deal of time that passed that Kyoshi thought Kuruk would never want to talk to her. Some of her last decades as the world’s Avatar they had fought so much that Yanchen was soon the only one that she was willing to speak with.

But he wasn’t mad at her, if anything he understood.

Aang was a soft kid, a cute little airbender with a new problem with Roku’s. The fire nation appeared to be trying to take all the nations for themselves.

The monks had told the child early of his fate, which Kyoshi hated. She had wished she could have gone down there to yell at the boy’s caretakers for doing that to him.

He was so young, just a child. Given too much too quickly.

She had liked Korra from the start. She had always wanted to go out and be the best, which she could always respect.

She had always tried so hard, Kyoshi tried to help her. Though she was never a Yangchen of any sorts when offering advice, she tried.

And then there was Vaatu.

They had all tried to offer what they could, but bit by bit they were all cut off from the fight.

Kyoshi had been trying so hard to hang on, to help but when her connection was severed there was nothing more to do.

Soon they could only watch.

Korra did win, but none of them could reach her any longer.

“What do we do now?” Kyoshi whispered.

“I don’ t know,” Yangchem whispered back.

But then it was like a veil had been lifted.

The vivid coloring of the grass and plants felt familiar, Kyoshi had nearly stumbled. She knew where she was, she had finally made it.

And she ran, she ran past Yanchen and Kavik, past Kuruk and Ummi, past Aang and Katara, past all of them as they found each other.

She ran, and ran. Until she came upon a great green hill, she didn’t even think twice.

She climbed and climbed until she tumbled forward as the ground evened.

“About time you showed up”  Rangi was in front of her, as beautiful as she was in her memories.

Kyoshi couldn’t move suddenly. Centuries, she had spent centuries believing that this was too far beyond what she had deserved.

Was this finally it?

“Are you real?” When she had started crying she didn’t know.

She started to fall, her knees growing weak. But instead she fell into Rangi arms.

“I’m sorry Rangi, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t do anything, I tried and tried.” She sobbed into the fire bender’s shoulder.

“I was convinced I would never see you again”

She felt Rangi lift her chin up so that they could meet eye to eye. Rangi taking one of her sleeves to wipe the remaining makeup away.

“You are here now” Rangi said, brushing another tear away.

It had finally clicked, this was finally permanent, and Kyoshi wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Rangi no longer had to only be a memory. Never again would she only exist as a memory.

She pulled her into a kiss that tasted Kyoshi’s tears, but still it remained sweet.

“Kyoshi”

She felt like she hadn’t truly heard her name in centuries.

“I would have only waited this long for you Kyoshi, only you”

She kissed her again as they fell into another embrace, smiling up at each other.

“Come on, Koko and Kelsang will be happy to see you,” Ragni said as they helped each other up.

Hand in hand descending down the hill. For the rest of their time until the stars burned out.

I can’t believe I actually finished it, I started writing this four years ago when I was questioning my sexuality and wanted to write something nice. Something that had hope and queer joy, because we all know how the media loved doomed Yuri.

Thank you to everyone who commented and helped me to go through with this, I can say I am proud of it and hope there was something in there for everyone <333