Chapter 8

Mia’s POV

The bar was loud as the music was blaring mixed with people’s conversations. I was holding a cue stick as I waited for Sloane to finish her turn. We were playing billiards which I sucked at, but it was her favorite thing to do so who am I to say no?

I reached for my drink, my favorite rum and coke, and I took a sip. She hits the ball with her cue stick and she puts her arms up to celebrate. “And that’s 2 – 0!” I let out a long breath before taking another, much longer sip of my drink.

“You know I suck at this game.” I groan as I help her get the balls out of the holes of the table. “Yeah yeah, don’t be a sore loser.” She arranges the balls in the center as she prepares the next round. I hated this stupid game, but honestly I didn’t mind losing. She needed this distraction, especially after all the shit she went through recently.

“So, how’s Eddie?” I order another drink as she leans over the table, lines up her cue and with one hit scatters the balls on the break. She stood back up as she got her beer and took a final sip before putting it down. “He’s how you’d expect any 3 year old dachshund to be. He ruined my couch.”

I laugh before looking down at the pool table to decide where my next shot will take place. “Well, maybe he’s acting out since his mom’s always at work.” I lean down and take my shot, a striped ball goes in and I look at Sloane with a smug look. I took another shot and missed, now she was the one looking at me smugly. This is a stupid game.

“I’m not always at work, and when I am I make sure someone watches over him.” She then takes her shot and of course her ball went in. She never misses, even on a bad day.

“How come you never ask me to watch over him?” I act offended, maybe I am offended. Eddie was a longhaired dachshund who had bright golden fur. He was adorable and I loved him. Not to be dramatic but if anything happens to him I’d kill everyone then myself.

“You’re always too busy dealing with your business, if I ask you he might end up in prison with you.” She says sarcastically and I respond with a fake laugh. “If Eddie was with me the last thing I would do is involve him in my business. He’s too innocent for that.” I take a sip of my drink. “Besides, you seriously think I’d end up in prison? Come on, let’s be real now.”

She shook her head with a faint smile before going to the bartender and ordering another drink. When she came back with another beer, she took a sip before giving it back to me to hold as she took her next shot. It went in and I rolled my eyes. I’m convinced she can win this game in one go. Don’t even doubt that, it’s happened before. I only took one shot and she did the rest.

She has great aim, she helped me with guns back when she was still in my line of work. I decided to sit on one of the high chairs, knowing it would be a while before it’s my turn again since she almost never misses.

“How are things in your business anyway?” She stood back up after taking a shot. She took the beer I was holding for her from my hands and took a sip. I like to leave her in the dark about what I do. I’m not exactly proud of what I do, but I have no choice. I can’t and won’t suffer the same fate as my brother.

“It’s going fine, no problems recently.” I lean back against the counter as I watch her studying the pool table. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her eyes were slightly squinted. She was focused for sure.

She glances at me before saying “Your dad’s still not happy with you, huh?” I let out a huff and fidget with my rings. “He never is.”

She takes her shot and misses. She cusses under her breath before taking a step back, signaling me it’s my turn. I push myself off the chair and take a look at the table. She only had 3 balls left while I still had 6. I lean down and take my shot, thankfully this one went in.

“Well, at least I’m happy with you. Your dad’s never happy anyway, he’s an asshole.” She shrugs and I smile at her. A genuine one. After my mom passed, Sloane knew I had issues with my father and she was always there to give me advice when I needed it. Did I always follow them? Of course not, but it’s nice to have someone listen.

I took my shot and missed. “Okay that’s it, you win. I don’t care anymore. You win, I’m going out for a smoke.” I put my cue stick back where I got it from and pay my tab. Sloane lets out an amused laugh before giving her cue stick to someone who wanted to play next and following me outside.

I lit my cigarette and leaned back against the brick wall which was out at the alley. “You could’ve won that, you know.” I inhale my cigarette and exhale the air as I shake my head. “I’m bringing Anton back here next time just so he could humble you.”

“I’d like to see him try.” She scoffs as she takes the pack from my pocket and takes one out. I raise my eyebrows at her in disbelief. “I don’t wanna hear it.” She lights up her cigarette before inhaling and exhaling the smoke out.

“I’m not saying anything, I’m just surprised. I mean, you’re a surgeon, you know how bad this shit is for you. Actually, I remember you trying to make me quit not so long ago.” I take another hit of my cigarette before exhaling the smoke.

“Well, I am in dire need of one right now so fuck off.” She says playfully. I would usually tease her even more, but I’ll let her have this one. So she smokes once in a while and she’s asthmatic, big deal. It might actually be a big deal, this shit really isn’t good for her. “Just one and that’s it.” I grab the pack from her hands and put it back in my pocket.

There was a moment of comfortable silence between us, I looked at her and I could tell she’s thinking about something. “So, I’m going back to France tomorrow morning.” That brought her out of her thoughts.

“Really? Why so soon?” She takes another drag of her cigarette. “I told you I was leaving two weeks ago. There’s shit happening there I just can’t ignore anymore.” I let out a sigh. I wish I could ignore it, not a single part of me wanted to do any of this shit. It was my father’s job honestly, but since he’s training me to get used to the way this business ran, I had to start taking initiative and handling shit on my own.

“Are you finally gonna end things with Andy?”

“Andrea.” I corrected her. “But yes, I’m ending it and hopefully she doesn’t give me a hard time.”

“She’s really nice-” I don’t let her complete that sentence. “I know she is, but I meant it when I said I am not looking for a relationship. I don’t believe in such a thing, and definitely not some stupid thing called love.” I scoff out before leaning my head back on the wall behind me.

“So you don’t love me?” She gives me a deadpan look. “Of course I love you, I love you platonically. I’m talking about romantic love.” I shake my shoulders and my head as if cringing at the thought. “Just talking about it makes me disgusted.”

She lets out a laugh, a genuine laugh and I look at her confused because nothing about what I said was funny. I wasn’t joking, love is fucking disgusting. She saw my confused expression and her laughter subsided.

“I’m serious. People say love makes you crazy but what if you were just crazy to begin with? They just use it as an excuse.” I let out a final drag of my cigarette before dropping it on the ground and stepping on it. Sloane does the same a few moments after.

“You know, love doesn’t make you weak, Mia.” Her tone is more serious now as she goes beside me and leans against the same brick wall. “Yeah, it just makes you crazy apparently.” I muttered. Seriously, every time someone I knew fell in love it never ends well.

“Do you seriously believe falling in love is impossible?” She turns her head to look at me. I stay staring up at the sky and notice how there weren’t many stars tonight.

“Not that it’s impossible, I know it happens. But I don’t believe it’ll happen to me.” Sloane stays silent, waiting for me to continue. I let out a long breath before looking at the ground. “Maybe I will fall in love one day, maybe I won’t. I just don’t believe someone would ever fall in love with me.” My life is already fucked up as it is, the last thing I want to do is involve someone else and have them share my problems.

She lets out a scoff, as if what I said was so absurd. “Mia, anyone would kill to be with you. I mean, how many girls have you been with in the past year?”

“Yeah, but that’s.. different. Those are meaningless one night stands. They weren’t in love with me..” I put my hands in my pockets. “Yeah, because you leave before they even get a chance to know you.”

Of course I leave. The more they know me the more they know how messed up I really am. I don’t need more people telling me something’s wrong with me. I don’t want a relationship because I truly don’t believe anyone would be insane enough to fall in love with me. I don’t want a relationship because I find it hard to make people stay. Everyone leaves eventually, and the less people I have in my life, the less people I’d have to mourn once they’ve gone.

“Look, the bottom line is I’m not looking for a relationship. End of discussion. I don’t need to tell you why, I just don’t.” I push myself off the wall and turn to face her. A smirk was on her face and she pushed herself off the wall before taking a step closer to me.

“You are capable of love, Mia. Whether it’s romantic or platonic, you are capable of it.” I give her a small smile before muttering a “Thanks.” I didn’t exactly believe her, but it’s nice to know someone believes in me.

We walk towards our cars, well her car and my motorcycle. I grab my helmet from the compartment before getting on. “I love you, you know that right?” I give her a smile before putting my helmet on.

“I love you too, Slo.” I then rear my motorcycle to life before she goes to her car. I make sure she gets in before I leave.

Sloane is the definition of best friend. She was there for me throughout everything. When my mom passed away, my brother was sent away, my father making me the new heir. She of all people knew how fucked up my family was. We grew up together so maybe that’s why she understood me so much, and she herself lived through the fucked up shit my father’s business did. I’m glad one of us made it out of that hell hole, and of course she deserved it more than anyone.

The next day came and it was time for me to go to France. My home land. I was born in France but moved to America because my mother said France wasn’t safe for the children. Me and my brother were kidnapped when we were kids, and that was my mother’s breaking point. My father wasn’t happy with it but did it anyway. I’m sure France is a lovely place for a normal functional family, but not for mine. Not for a family who runs a mafia business.

Every time I have to go back to France I dread it more than anything. It usually means business whenever I’m there and I hate it, I hate every part of this. I wish just for once to be free, to actually do something I love.

I was seated at my private jet, going through my phone. A series of very angry text messages were left by Andrea. Can’t blame her honestly. The last time I talked to her was more than a month ago before I left for New York. I have made it more than clear that I am not interested to be her girlfriend though. I decided to call her to tell her I’m on the way back.

This girl has left me hundreds of messages and missed calls, and now that I decide to call her she doesn’t pick up. It goes to voicemail which I find quite odd, she usually picks up after one or two rings. Maybe she’s busy.

I text her that I’m a few hours away and she’s one of the first things I’ll handle before moving on to more serious business. She’s staying at the mansion since her current apartment wasn’t exactly safe for her to stay in. I just hope she understands right away and I won’t need to tell her all that “it’s not you it’s me” bullshit. I told her before starting anything that I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but of course she thinks she could change me.

I really need a fucking break.